Slow Living Archives - A Merry Loner

8 Easy, Affordable Ways to Support Local Businesses—and Why It’s Important

Merry — Thu, 15 Jan 2026 13:55:56 +0000

Shifting just a few purchases to locally owned stores makes a difference as we fight the good fight against mass production and megacorporations.

In the last quarter of 2025, in a turn of events that stunned no one, OpenAI announced its move towards agentic commerce, allowing U.S. ChatGPT users to buy items directly in the chatbox.

As an aside, let’s not forget that ChatGPT’s self-proclaimed mission is “to ensure that artificial general intelligence benefits all of humanity.” How encouraging people to buy more things they likely don’t need benefits humanity is beyond me. But what do I know?

Embarrassingly for Mr. Altman, ChatGPT apparently isn’t even useful for shilling products. Per researchers at the University of Hamburg and the Frankfurt School of Finance & Management, organic Large Language Model traffic (oLLM) traffic performs “below all other traditional channels,” save paid social.

But I digress.

While I love to roast Big Tech and drone on about the environmental and humanitarian implications of shopping via Amazon Prime, today, as for all days, the focus is on what small steps we can take to make life more enjoyable.

One easy but impactful way to support your community and your own wellbeing is to shop local—and you don’t have to break the bank or otherwise inconvenience yourself to do it.

Read on to learn 8 easy, affordable ways to support local businesses and why this matters.

The shortlist: 8 ways to support local businesses (without spending a lot of money)

Buy coffee beans or grounds from a local shop instead of a grocery store

Get groceries at your local farmer’s market

Buy books from a local, in-person bookstore (not Amazon)

Shop clothes from local boutiques instead of name-brand stores or online

Eat at local restaurants instead of chains

For gifts, check out local shops instead of ordering online

Follow local businesses on social media—and tell friends

When in doubt, ask yourself this question

The shortlist: 5 reasons why you should support local businesses

You keep money in your local community

You build your community’s cultural identity

You (usually) get better customer service

You support skilled artisans instead of mass production

You give money to working people instead of celebrities and billionaires

Plus:

5 ways to discover local businesses near you to break free from algorithm-led recommendations

6 quotes to remind you to support local businesses

2 quotes to inspire you to keep going with your own project (even if it feels like you’re not getting anywhere right now)

More popular articles on mindful consumption:

5 Alternatives to Amazon for Books (and why I no longer buy books from Amazon)

How to Stop Wanting Things

6 Ethical Tea Companies for Fair Trade Tea Bags & Organic Tea

How to support local businesses

Shopping local seems pretty easy. Buy from shops near your home, right? Not really.

Most of the brands we touch on a regular basis can all be traced back to a few megacorporations:

“A handful of corporations control the majority market share of almost 80% of dozens of grocery items bought regularly by ordinary Americans,” reveals a joint investigation by the Guardian and Food and Water Watch.
More of a visual learner? Good created a fantastic infographic that shows how just ten companies own pretty much all the food and beverage brands we know and buy.
If you’re into videos, check out political economist Jennifer Clapp’s presentation at Duke’s World Food Policy Center on concentrated corporate power in food systems and why it matters.

I’m not saying we should all become homesteaders and start making our own toothpaste and milk. But shopping local when and where you can is a low-lift way to support your local community and put money in the pockets of families trying to make a living—not in the clutches of megacorporations and their shareholders.

And it doesn’t have to inconvenience you or cost you more money.

Try these 8 simple swaps to support local businesses in your community:

1. Buy coffee beans or grounds from a local shop instead of a grocery store

Instead of giving your money to Stop & Shop (AKA Ahold Delhaize, a Dutch-Belgian multinational retail and wholesale holding company), why not give it to the small business owner running the local coffee shop down your street?

It’s an easy swap in your weekly routine. Beyond supporting your local community, you get something out of it too: social connection.

Rather than mindlessly adding beans to your virtual cart or scanning your way zombie-like through self-checkout, you can meet your local barista.

And because coffee is a consumable, you’ll soon become a regular at your local coffee shop, filling up on freshly ground beans and low-effort, but comfortably familiar conversation with your local baristas.

Key takeaway: By buying beans from a local coffee shop instead of a corporate grocery store, you support a small business and build ties with your community.

There’s big power in small talk.

During the pandemic, I quit my desk job and worked as a barista for a year in my neighborhood coffee shop. Within a few weeks, I knew almost every regular (and their drink order) by name—and I became friends with many of them.

We went to dinner together, hosted parties, and exchanged masked-up, over-the-counter hugs when one of us was having a bad day. (In 2020—2021, it was often that one of us was having a bad day.)

The interactions were small and surface level at first, but all those tiny, consistent conversations built up over time. After that, Main Street wasn’t just somewhere I ran errands; it was a lively community full of familiar faces.

Not a coffee drinker? What about fresh tea leaves instead?

If your local coffee shop doesn’t sell tea, you have other options.

They may not be local to you, but these ethical tea companies prioritize workers’ rights and environmental protection (which can’t be said for just any tea brand you see on the grocery store shelf).

2. Get groceries at your local farmer’s market

If you’re already buying coffee from a local shop, take things up a notch by doing some of your weekly grocery shopping at the local farmer’s market.

Obviously, you’re still going to need to head to a big-box store for staples like toilet paper and sponges. But when it comes to actual food (e.g., milk, fruits, vegetables, bread, etc.) you can get most of it from a local seller.

And once you go farmer’s market, you won’t want to go back to grocery store tomatoes:

“Produce from local farmers has spent more time on the vine, on the tree or in the ground, so you get better taste and more nutrients,” Melinda Cater, MS, RD, CSG, LDN and Clinical Dietician II at Sibley Memorial Hospital told John Hopkins Medicine.

Browsing the stalls at your farmer’s market also gives you a chance to meet and mingle with your community, something we all need more of nowadays.

Key takeaway: When you shop at your local farmer’s market instead of your big-box store, you not only support and participate in your local community, you get to eat tastier, healthier food, too.

Getting involved in your local community makes life more enjoyable.

But it can be nerve-wracking to introduce yourself to strangers and initiate conversations.

Don’t have the courage to try new things by yourself? You can build it. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to build your self-confidence and reduce social anxiety.

3. Buy books from a local, in-person bookstore

This is one of my favorite ways to support local businesses, and IMHO, it’s the easiest way for beginners to get started shopping local.

Why? Because whether you order a book from Amazon or pick it up from your local bookstore, the end product is exactly the same.

But instead of giving the gazillion-dollar company even more money—and funding a business that puts workers’ health at risk, barely pays them a living wage, and lets them get injured on the job—you’re supporting a person making a living in your local community.

Plus, isn’t it just delicious to spend some time wandering the shelves of a bookstore?

I’d say it’s much more pleasant than clicking ADD TO CART and getting bombarded by notifications, ads, and emails pressuring you to buy more things you don’t need.

Key takeaway: Shopping at your local bookstore keeps money in your community instead of sending it to Jeff Bezos. And you still get exactly the same product.

Can’t find the book you want in your local bookstore?

Your local bookstore owner is usually more than happy to order it for you.

If you really can’t find what you need and want to order it online but stay away from the big, bad Amazon, try these affordable alternatives to Amazon.

4. Shop clothes from local boutiques instead of name-brand stores or online

I don’t think I need to tell you that fast fashion is one of the worst things to come out of the 21st century.

But let me jog your memory anyway:

60% of textiles contain microplastic, which can accumulate in soil and groundwater when textiles decompose in landfills. In fact, 11% of all plastic waste comes from clothing and textile, making it the third biggest contributor. SOURCES: U.S. Government Accountability Office and United Nations News

The U.S. wasted 17 million tonnes of textiles (10 times more than in 1960) in 2018. But it’s not just a U.S. problem. Global textile waste exceeded 92 million tonnes in 2018. SOURCES: United States Environmental Protection Agency and Global Fashion Agenda

The fashion industry consumes 86 million Olympic-sized swimming pools of water per year. SOURCE: United Nations News

Of course, the best way to fight fast fashion is to simply buy less.

The next best thing we can do is buy better by shopping second-hand and/or local.

Shop from second-hand stores. It’s a win-win. You help eliminate fashion waste instead of contributing to it, and you’re supporting a small business at the same time.

Visit a local tailor. Ask them to transform an article of clothing you own or thrifted into something new. Or buy fabric and commission something from scratch. Instead of funding Zara, you’re supporting local artisan with an amazing skill.

Go to a local boutique. The clothes may be new, but you’re putting money in the hands of a local shop owner in your community instead of H&M, and that’s what matters most.

Key takeaway: Buy your clothes from small businesses by shopping at thrift stores and locally-owned boutiques. You can even bring fabric to your local tailor and ask them to create a bespoke piece for you.

Fashion is fun. It’s not your fault we got to this point.

Everywhere we look, we’re being pressured to buy more. It can be hard to fight it.

That’s why I wrote this post on How to Stop Wanting Things to help you kill the desire to consume, once and for all.

5. Eat at local restaurants instead of chains

Locally owned restaurants bring so much to their communities.

I’m sure we’ve all driven by a once-favorite local restaurant that went belly up when their lease expired or they just couldn’t fight the corporate competition anymore. Only when we see the gray husks of their storefronts do we realize how beloved a presence they were in the local lore.

Don’t let these folks go out of business.

Instead of getting your daily coffee fix from Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts, visit your local café.
Instead of ordering Uber Eats from Domino’s Pizza, go to your local pizza guy down the block for a box.

Key takeaway: Locally owned restaurants add energy and spirit to your community. Skip corporate chains that make you order on a screen and settle into a mom-and-pop booth instead.

Why not take yourself on a date to your local pub this week?

Back when I lived in Providence, Rhode Island, I was a regular at Harry’s Burger Bar (one of the many delightful bars in Providence). Every Tuesday night, I’d settle in with a book, a burger, and a beer for some quality time with myself.

It was a date I never skipped—but I know eating alone can feel weird for a lot of people.

Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to learn how to own the power of being alone so you can stop waiting on others to enjoy your life.

6. For gifts, check out local shops instead of ordering online

Another easy way to support local businesses instead of buying more useless plastic trinkets made by unfortunate, overworked souls in an overseas factory: go to local shops and boutiques for gift-giving.

There are so many great, handmade wares to buy to support a local artisan and business instead of a factory and a robber baron, like:

Handmade pottery from a local studio
Flowers from a local florist
Sweaters from a local knitting shop
Paintings from a local artist
Beer from a local brewery
Honey from a local farmer
Pretty soap and bath things from a local craftsman

Key takeaway: Don’t default to Amazon when it’s time to buy gifts for loved ones. Instead, head to local shops for handmade goods made from local artists and tradespeople.

Know a fellow self-care fiend?

Create a locally sourced self-care gift basket with local honey, flowers, soap, and the like.

Then slip in my Ultimate Guide to Self-Care with 100+ ideas to take care of yourself.

7. Follow local businesses on social media—and tell friends

If you’re not ready to spend any money, don’t. (Although I know this is often a lot easier said than done.)

You can still support local businesses without whipping out your wallet. Often, the best way you can help a small business is by simply spreading the word.

Did your local barista make your latte just the way you like it? Leave the coffee shop a review on Google so more people can find them.

Did you buy delicious fresh vegetables or flowers at your local farmer’s market? Tell a friend about it. Better yet, invite them to join you next week.

Did you discover the perfect burrito at a joint around the corner? Follow them on social media and tell your coworkers about it.

Key takeaway: Support doesn’t always have to mean money. Help your local business owners keep their shops going by spreading the word at work, with your friends, and online.

Did something in this post spark a new idea? Give you a different perspective? Make your day a little brighter?

Tell a friend. You can simply share this article with them.

Better yet, send them to A Merry Loner’s newsletter so they can also get ideas to enjoy their own company (and their life) more.

8. When in doubt, ask yourself: “Is there a local business I can buy this from instead?”

Buying beans from a local coffee shop. Shopping from local bookstores instead of Amazon. Eating at mom-and-pop restaurants instead of chains.

These are just some ways you can shop local. Once you get in the habit of it, it becomes a lot easier and more obvious to find other ways to support local businesses in your community.

Key takeaway: The next time you go to buy something online, stop and see if there’s a local business you can buy it from instead. Every purchase counts.

Why support local businesses

The jaws of Big Business are clamping down on us.

Doesn’t it feel like you need to create an account (and, in doing so, hand over your personal data) to buy pretty much anything online now? Corporations are squeezing us for fees wherever and whenever they can. All the while, quality seems to be tumbling fast.

When you support local businesses, you not only enrich your community and keep money in the hands of working people, but you fight the good fight against the megacorporations intent on owning it all.

More reasons to support local businesses in your town:

1. You keep money in your local community

When you buy from a local shop, you keep your money in your community instead of sending it to distant shareholders.

This does two good things for your community.

First, it keeps your town thriving, economically. I don’t think we need to get in the weeds about this. You know that when you shop from local businesses, you help keep them in business. That keeps families in your neighborhood making it money; it keeps tax dollars going back to your town and state; and it keeps money flowing to your local schools, libraries, and other public services.

Actually, even without getting taxes involved, most small business owners are committing to giving back to their communities, all on their own.

According to the Small Business Index from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, nine in 10 small business owners “believe that businesses should give back to their local communities.” Eight in 10 believe that giving back to their local community is part of their business’s mission.

Keep an eye out for that philanthropy. It’s in more places than you think.

When I went to see a production of The Nutcracker at the Providence Performance Arts Center, I remember flipping through the program to the sponsors page. It was full of small businesses I recognized: a local pizza shop, my favorite local brewery, a crowd-pleasing Italian restaurant. All supporting art in the community.

Does Amazon support art in your community?

2. You build your community’s cultural identity

What’s the second good thing about keeping money in your local community?

It keeps it thriving, culturally.

I grew up in East Greenwich, Rhode Island, which has a lively Main Street full of restaurants, coffee shops, art galleries, and boutiques. But during tough times, some of those shopfronts become barren.

It’s always a sad sight to see. Less friendly chatter on the sidewalks. Fewer smiling faces walking down the street with takeout coffee in one hand a dog leash in the other.

That’s what happens when people order their books from Amazon instead of buying from local bookstores or when they auto-subscribe to coffee beans from Amazon instead of meeting their local barista once a week for a freshly ground bag.

And no surprise, a culturally vibrant place—not one dominated by big business—is where most people want to live.

Americans are willing to spend an extra $150 per month (and travel up to 30 minutes) to keep their local shops in business.
Nearly 75% say they appreciate their local shops more since the pandemic. SOURCE: Faire

Eight in 10 (82%) say small businesses positively impact peoples’ lives—only four in 10 people say the same about large businesses. SOURCE: Bentley University

3. You (usually) get better customer service

When you interact with a megacorporation, you are but one among thousands if not tens of thousands or even millions of customers. You are not special to them.

After all, just think back to the last interaction you had with customer service for a big-name store.

Were you even talking to a human? Or did they siphon off your concerns to an (unhelpful) AI chatbot? These days, it seems big business don’t even deign to speak to us.

When they do, they don’t make it easy. How many times have you wasted hours of your day waiting on hold, exchanging useless emails, and all but begging to get help from a compassionless corporate portal?

Compare that to communicating face to face with an actual person in a real-life shop.

I’ve been the customer of many small businesses where the owner or employee clearly went out of their way to help me. Not because they had a middle manager breathing down their neck or tracking software watching their every move.

But because they were one person talking to another. And once you strip away the chatbots and automated workflows and the never-ending customer service queues, we can remember that other people are generally nice.

That time the local barista did me a solid.

When I was a teenager, I always used to study in the local coffee shop.

One day, after settling in with my books and laptop, I approached the counter to order a coffee.

My peppermint mocha or whatever the hell teenage, pre-coffee-drinking Merry was into was already in my hand when it was time to ring up.

But my debit card didn’t work, and I didn’t have any cash.

I handed the cup back and awkwardly said, “Sorry, I can’t pay for this.”

But the barista just waved his hand and told me don’t worry about it, to keep the drink anway—and let me sit there for hours on the couch and study.*

Think that would happen in a chain store?

*When my mom arrived a few hours later to pick me up (this was pre-driving days), she handed me a $20 to put in the tip jar, along with my profuse gratitude.

Don’t forget to pay the good deeds forward.

4. You support skilled artisans instead of mass production

When you shop locally, you can more directly give your money to talented artisans—instead of trusting corporate structures to let it “trickle down” to the people doing the actual crafting.

That’s why I chose to commission a handmade trench coat from a local seamstress instead of buying one from a luxury brand:

Last year, I wanted to buy a trench coat. I was prepared to invest because I saw this as a forever item.

So intent was I on buying classic and quality, I even briefly considered splashing out on a Burberry trench coat that costs somewhere in the insane realm of $1,000.

But when I went to the store to try it on, I was underwhelmed with the fit and the fabric.

“I’m willing to spend on an investment, but only if it’s perfect and I love it,” I told a friend.

The Burberry trench coat, a major (and majorly expensive) name brand wasn’t cutting it.

“I know what I’ll do. I’ll ask the seamstress who made my wedding dress.”

The woman who made my wedding dress has a God-given talent. Not only did she make an absolutely divine dress off little more than a grainy picture I gave her, she didn’t even charge me for the fabric.

I had wanted an all-lace dress, which would normally double the price of the garment. But she had leftovers from a fancy gown she’d made for someone else, so she gave it to me for free.

Remember what I said about small businesses providing better customer service?

What she did with the trench coat was even more impressive.

All I did was show her a picture of a style I liked. Within a week, I had the coat in my hands.

It fit my body like a glove. It had the printed silk lining I chose. And it even included an inside breast pocket that I requested (because why don’t women’s clothes ever have this?).

Yes, it was expensive. (I paid her 600€, and I believe I spent about 150€ on fabric and notions.) But with her incredible talent, artistry, and craftsmanship, she deserved every penny.

And I would gladly give my money to a hardworking, skilled artisan over a global corporation any day.

5. You give money to working people instead of celebrities and billionaires

Jeff Bezos doesn’t need your help.

Nor do the Waltons (of Walmart). Nor does the Bettencourt Meyers family of (L’Oréal). Nor does Hailey Bieber or George Clooney or any of the Kardashians.

Perhaps the most important reason to support local businesses are the people at the receiving end of those purchases: the people in your community.

The artist mustering the courage to publicly display their work.
The restaurateur putting all their savings into their dream venture.
The coffee shop owner who commits to waking up at 5AM every day because they’re still a one-person show.

Wouldn’t you prefer to give them some of your hard-earned money? Instead of adding to the accounts of celebrities, millionaires, and billionaires?

How to discover local businesses near you

It might seem obvious, but since we’ve become so used to tuning into the algorithms and distant influencers for recommendations, it can actually be hard to find local shops near us, especially if they don’t have a huge online presence.

Here are a few fast ways to discover local businesses in your community:

1. Google Maps

Easy enough, right? Open your phone app and search for what you need: coffee shops, restaurants, bookstores, boutiques.

Of course, you can just do a basic Google search, but that’s usually going to pull in a lot of online stores with big Internet presences optimized for SEO—not what we’re going for here.

To discover local mom-and-pop restaurants and small-town boutiques without fancy websites, Google Maps can help you tune out the SEO noise and see what’s really going on close to home.

2. Instagram

This one’s a little bit tricky, a little bit more cluttered, and honestly, not my favorite. But if visuals are what stimulate and entice you, then head here to discover local businesses near you.

Simply open up search and type in the name of your town.

You’ll likely find some mildly entertaining but largely unhelpful Reels. But through that chaos you can sometimes find small town guides created by locals or travelers, highlighting the local businesses that don’t optimize for Google Search.

3. Local business directories

I like this because it’s less flashy and more to the point.

Most towns and cities maintain a public list of registered businesses—which you can use as your very own local shopping guide.

Just go to Google and type: “[insert town name here] business directory.”

Because my home state, Rhode Island, is so small, I made the search a little broader. Here’s some of what I found:

Voilà, easy-to-read, well-organized, no-fuss lists of the local businesses in your community.

4. Bulletin boards in local spaces

Trying to live a more analog life? One where you don’t turn to the Instagram and Google overlords for every decision you make in life?

Me too. I tire of the scrolling and algorithm gatekeeping, which is why I’m making a pointed effort lately to live life in the real world. And that includes shopping.

If you want to find local businesses in your community, then start by getting out in your community.

Head to a local coffee shop, town hall, library, or another public meeting place. More often than not these spaces have bulletin boards overflowing with business cards, flyers, and pamphlets for local events, classes, and businesses in your community.

While you’re in the building, don’t forget to smile at people, hold the door for strangers, and practice a few other basic pleasantries that make life nicer for all of us.

Looking for more ways to go analog?

With so much pressure to digitize and automate, it’s no longer always intuitive to live an analog life.

Try these five simple swaps to bring analog living into your daily routine, without spending a lot of money or otherwise inconveniencing yourself.

5. Asking people

Of course, the best way to get in the know about your local community is to ask your local community.

The next time you head out for a coffee, you get your oil changed, or you mail something at the post office, ask the person behind the counter:

“I’m looking for a new restaurant to try this weekend? Anything good near here you can recommend?”
“I’m trying to wean off of Amazon Prime. Do you know any local bookstores in the area?”
“I want to pick up some flowers on the way home, but I don’t want to go to Stop & Shop. Is there a local florist near here?”

Unsurprisingly, people who live in your community will know more about it than Google does, which gets easily duped by strategically optimized websites and sponsored placements.

Plus, you’re actually interacting with a person, not an algorithm. And isn’t that the whole point?

Does it feel weird asking a perfect stranger such a question?

For some people, it really does. But it doesn’t have to be that way forever.

If you want to build your self-confidence, reduce social anxiety, and get more comfortable speaking up alone in public, we can work on it together.

Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge, a comfortable, nonjudgmental email challenge that helps you own the power of being alone.

Support local business quotes

When it feels easier to default to Amazon Prime or order online from Starbucks, remind yourself why it’s worth walking that extra block to the local bookstore or coffee shop.

Plus, two quotes to inspire you to keep working on your small business venture, even if it feels like an uphill battle against the big guys:

“Every purchase you make is a vote for the world you want to live in.”

Speaker: Anna Lappé, author and educator (1973—)

"A small business is an amazing way to serve and leave an impact on the world you live in."

Speaker: Nicole Snow, contemporary romance author (unknown)

"Support your friend’s business and progression like you support the celebrities that you actually don’t know."

Speaker: Anonymous

“Shopping locally is an act of love for your community and the people who make it special.”

Speaker: Dolly Parton, singer, songwriter, actress, philanthropist, businesswoman (1946—)

"People do not buy goods and services. They buy relations, stories, and magic."

Speaker: Seth Godin, author and marketer (1960—)

"Giving a gift from a small business is giving a gift twice."

Speaker: Anonymous

"Don't be intimidated by what you don't know. That can be your greatest strength and ensure that you do things differently from everyone else."

Speaker: Sara Blakely, businesswoman and philanthropist (1971—)

"Dream big, start small, but most of all, start."

Speaker: Simon Sinek, author and inspirational speaker (1973—)

Conclusion: Supporting local businesses is an act of love, to yourself and your community.

Overconsumption is tiresome. Everywhere we look, we are being encouraged to buy, subscribe, upgrade.

In the fight against materialism, it often feels like we just can’t win.

Foregoing buying new goods altogether is too difficult if not impossible—and also, a little pointless. (Who says we can’t treat ourselves to something new once in a while?) But ordering everything from Amazon feels soul-sucking and sad.

Buying from local businesses, instead, feels nourishing.

We nourish working families in our town, instead of celebrity brands or billionaires. We nourish our communities, keeping the streets full with locally owned restaurants, flower shops, and bookstores. And we nourish ourselves, filling our homes with wares dreamed up and crafted by artisans.

We don’t have to buy everything from local businesses; that’s often not realistic. But shifting just a few purchases to locally owned stores makes a difference as we fight the good fight against mass production and megacorporations.

It’s one small, artful battle after another.

Next Steps:

Start small. Pick one category (like coffee or books) and start buying from a local business instead of a Starbucks or Amazon.

Spread the word. Try a new local restaurant that you love? Tell a friend or invite them to join you next time. Then, send them this blog post so they can get more ideas to support local businesses.

Track your purchases. Whipping out the credit card is so easy, it’s hard to keep track of where our money goes. Sit down, go through your bank statements, and review the last month’s purchases. Then, make a list: What did you order from Amazon? And what can you purchase from a small business moving forward instead?

Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.

How to Support Local Businesses (and Why): Common FAQs

Why is supporting local businesses important?

Supporting local businesses is important for two main reasons: it keeps money in your local community and it builds your community’s cultural identity. Shopping at local businesses also helps support local artisans and craftspeople, honoring people doing the real work instead of corporations churning out mass production.

Does Amazon support local businesses?

Not really. Some people argue that small business owners can expand their reach beyond their local community by promoting their products on Amazon—but they pay a pretty penny for doing so. A study from Marketplace Pulse revealed that Amazon takes more than 50% of sellers’ revenue due to an intricate web of fees, e.g., transaction, fulfillment, and advertising.

So even if you’re buying a small business on Amazon, you mostly end up supporting Amazon and its shareholders—not the small business.

What happens when you support local businesses?

When you shop local, you help working families in your community make a living; add money to your local economy; and you invest in the character and cultural identity of your community—because every purchase that stays local is a vote for the kind of world you want to live in.

How does supporting local businesses help the community?

It keeps money in your local community instead of sending it to celebrities’ or billionaires’ global brands. This way, your money can stay local, keeping your neighbors employed, your public services funded, and your culture thriving.

Merry

Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

The post 8 Easy, Affordable Ways to Support Local Businesses—and Why It’s Important appeared first on A Merry Loner.

9 Books You Can Read in a Day

Merry — Wed, 12 Nov 2025 20:22:43 +0000

For wisdom, distilled.

The Internet loves to write think pieces about how we’ve lost our attention spans. Where did they go?

Social media is one obvious culprit. I personally like to pick on TikTok for reasons such as: 5 TikTok Challenges That Left Thousands Injured and Over 100 Dead.

In general, I’m pretty anti short-form video and the fact that information is becoming more and more condensed into visually-stimulating, “aesthetically-pleasing” 30-second sound bytes.

Give me words. Give me chapters. Give me delicious sentences to underline and real paper pages to dog-ear.

And give it to me even when I’m short on time. Because, yes, me too, I sometimes feel like life is a vat of quicksand mercilessly pulling me in. It’s part of why I’m trying to live a more analog life—one where I spend time away from social media and make my downtime less consumption-based and more pleasure-based.

Naturally, books are a big part of that. Even when I feel like I have no time.

If you’re short on time this week but still want to enrich your precious downtime instead of losing it to a doomscrolling spiral, try this: 9 good books you can read in a day.

Start with one, and then let the good vibes roll.

The shortlist: 9 short books to read in a day

2 Classic books to read in a day… One from a French author and one from a Polish author

2 Fiction books to read in one day… One inspired by family and one romance novel

2 Non-fiction books you can read in one sitting… One book about health and one about philosophy

3 Memoirs under 200 pages… One from an Old Hollywood starlet; one from a NYT bestseller; and one from a poet

Or if reading by mood is more your thing...

The Stranger — If you want to work on the classics
Solaris — If you’re interested in books from non-English-speakers
Life on the Refrigerator Door — If you want an emotional, mother-daughter story
Love Story — If you’re looking for a tear-jerking romance
Healing Adaptogens — If you’re curious to learn something new about health
Become What You Are — If you want to explore a bit of philosophy
My Story — If you’re in the mood for an honest celebrity autobiography
Tuesdays with Morrie — If you want to read a book about life
Instructions for Traveling West — If you’ve got a craving for poetry

More popular articles on books:

5 Alternatives to Amazon for Books (and why I no longer buy books from Amazon)

Easiest Classic Novels to Read | 18 Easy-to-Read Classics for Beginners

7 Books on Self-Awareness to Become a Better Person

Classic books you can read in a day

Reading the classics can feel like a daunting, arduous task. Crime and Punishment, for example, (the much-celebrated, 19th-century Russian novel that I’ve yet to read) is over 600 pages, which for most of us, puts it well out of bounds of a casual beach read.

But there are other, lighter ways to get into reading classic literature. I like these two:

1. The Stranger by Albert Camus, translated by Matthew Ward

I devoured this one over the course of a few metro rides last summer in Paris—a fitting landscape for the French writer’s existential classic. At only 144 pages, The Stranger is a short and snappy read that will make even non-bibliophiles fly through it.

The scene is an Algerian beach, where an unsuspecting man finds himself witness to a murder and is quickly drawn into the subsequent moral and legal fallout. Ranking number one on Le Monde’s 100 Books of the Century list, The Stranger will make you well read on both continents.

About the author: Albert Camus (1913—1960) was a French philosopher, journalist, novelist, and recipient of the 1957 Nobel Prize in Literature (the second-youngest recipient in history, in fact). In addition to his renowned The Stranger, he also wrote the novels The Fall and The Plague, as well as many short stories, plays, and essays.

Available at Bookshop.org

By the way, do you speak a little French?

Not only is The Stranger a tight, snappy read, the original French version is also highly accessible to language learners.

If you’re learning French and want to work on your reading comprehension, I highly recommend giving Camus’s original words a go.

2. Solaris by Stanisław Lem, translated by Joanna Kilmartin & Steve Cox

This was a gift from a friend and a wonderful introduction for me into Polish literature.

Written by Stanisław Lem, whom writer and critic Theodore Sturgeon supposedly heralded as the “most widely read science fiction author in the world,” Solaris is probably Lem’s most famous novel. It has been adapted for the screen many times, most prominently by the Soviet Union in 1968 and 1972 and again by the USA in 2002, starring a certain George Clooney and Natascha McElhone. (How did this go under my radar?)

I see the appeal. Solaris has one of the more intriguing concepts I’ve seen explored in science fiction: Aboard the Solaris Station for scientific research, psychologist Kris Kelvin faces a physical simulacra of his dead wife, chillingly reconstructed from his repressed memories.

Of note: The English translation that’s been in print since 1971 was not directly translated from Polish but, rather, translated from Jean-Michel Jasiensko’s 1964 French translation. Lem has, on the record, stated his disappointment with the subsequent English translation, considering it unfaithful to his writing.

In 2011, Bill Johnston completed a direct Polish-to-English translation, which Lem’s family praised as having “captured the spirit of the original.” Unfortunately, this edition was only released in print in a limited run of 400 copies in 2024. Today, it is only available as an ebook.

Why am I pointing this out?

There’s a gross imbalance between literature that is translated from English to other languages and literature that is translated from other langauges to English.

Feast your eyes on these astounding statistics:

According to the UNESCO Index Translationum, from 1979 to 2019, 1.27 million works were translated from English to another language. But the other direction (i.e., any other language translated to English), only counts 164,000 works.

To say this is a bummer is an understatement.

I’m currently working on a longer piece detailing the dominance of English literature, along with tips on how to find translated works to expand your reading list beyond the Anglo-Saxon publishing industry.

If you’d like to read it, sign up for A Merry Loner’s mailing list, and I’ll send it to you when it’s finished.

About the author: Stanisław Lem (1921—2006) was a Polish writer of novels, short stories, and essays that explore science fiction, philosophy, satire, and futurology. He’s particularly recognized for his ideas on intelligence, both human and artificial, and the limits of their abilities to interact with each other.

Available at Bookshop.org (paperback, Polish-French-English translation)

Available at Amazon (ebook, Polish-English translation) Note: This is the first and last time I will link to Amazon, as I do not condone Amazon’s deplorable treatment of their workers and thus do not buy from them or otherwise support them financially. If you, too, want to stop buying books from Amazon, I encourage you to check out these 5 Alternatives to Amazon for Books.

If you have more than one day to read…

There are obviously many more classic novels worth poking your nose into, but they’re not all short enough to be read in a day. Still, they are accessible, relatable, and fun.

Find 18 easy-read classic novels to diversify your reading list.

Fiction books you can read in a day

I’m frequently extolling the benefits of reading classic literature, but that doesn’t mean I’m always hankering for an old-fashioned novel. For something a little more of the times, I like these two short novels:

3. Life on the Refrigerator Door by Alex Kuipers

Written entirely in Post-It messages stuck to the refrigerator, the aptly named Life on the Refrigerator door is a heartfelt story exploring the mother-daughter relationship.

Between single motherhood and the all-consuming torment that is adolescence, this mother and daughter rarely find time to physically be together; nonetheless, their daily written exchanges, however brief, keep them deeply connected—all the more so as they navigate a family tragedy together.

Powerful, uplifting, and highly relatable, this may even be a nice book to read with a family member.

About the author: Alice Kuipers (1979—) is a British novelist who has won the Grand Prix de Viarmes, the Livrentête Prize, the Redbridge Teenage Book Award, and the Saskatchewan First Book Award and has seen her Life on the Refrigerator Door adapted for the stage in England, France, and Japan. She writes young adult and children’s books.

Available at Bookshop.org

4. Love Story by Erich Segal

Few books make me cry, but this one made the list—and I don’t think I’m the only one. The 160-page romance chronicles the love story of a Harvard jock and a working-class music student.

That’s all I’ll say about the plot, but even better: This book has a trivia-rich backstory:

Love Story was originally written as a screenplay and unceremoniously rejected by many Hollywood studios. Ali MacGraw, an actress, friend of the author, and at-the-time wife of Paramount executive vice president Robert Evans, apparently convinced her husband to greenlight the film. MacGraw would play the leading lady.

To promote what was expected to be a lackluster film, Paramount supposedly requested Segal transform the screenplay into a novel for promotional purposes, to be serialized in Ladies Home Journal and released in a few-thousand-copies run on Valentine’s Day. (Valentine’s Day to promote a romance novel? Groundbreaking.)

Unexpectedly, the novel became a best-seller, topping The New York Times Best Seller list and has since been translated into 30+ languages.

Though many literary critics were not fans. Upon its nomination for a National Book Award, one judge famously deemed it “banal,” saying “it…simply doesn’t qualify as literature.”

Final fun fact: This book is also the origin of the now famous catchphrase, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

About the author: Erich Segal, Ph.D. (1937—2010) was an American screenwriter, author, and professor. Beyond writing over a dozen novels and screenplays, he was also a classics scholar, teaching at Yale, Harvard, Princeton, and Dartmouth.

Available at Bookshop.org

Sources for Love Story’s trivia-rich backstory:

The Pop History Dig: The Love Story Saga

MAYDAY Magazine: Sellouts 1970: Love Story: The Year a Screenplay-Turned-Novel Almost Broke the National Book Award

The Washington Post: ‘Love Story’ author Erich Segal dies at 72

Non-fiction books you can read in a day

I’m a big fan of non-fiction. Biographies and history books are my favorites, though those are often quite long and involved.

These two short non-fiction books are decidedly informative and enlightening but short enough to enjoy over a cup of coffee:

5. Healing Mushrooms by Tero Isokauppila

I’m a bit of a wellness freak (though I’m not that into the world, “wellness”). I exercise almost daily. I rarely eat processed food. And I’m a frequent meditator. I also consume mushrooms, lots of mushrooms.

I’ll be brief here, but functional or medicinal mushrooms, per the International Journey of Molecular Sciences, “have important health benefits and exhibit a broad spectrum of pharmacological activities, including:

Antiallergic
Antibacterial
Antifungal
Anti-inflammatory
Antioxidative
Antiviral
Cytotoxic
Immunomodulating
Antidepressive
Antihyperlipidemic
Antidiabetic
Digestive
Hepatoprotective
Neuroprotective
Nephroprotective
Osteoprotective
And hypotensive activities.”

Some functional mushrooms are also adaptogens or as Dr. Dana Ellis Hunnes, UCLA Fielding School of Public Health assistant professor of community health sciences and senior dietitian at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, defines them:

“herbs, roots and other plant substances (like mushrooms) that help our bodies manage stress and restore balance after a stressful situation.”

TLDR: Mushrooms have very powerful health benefits that are finally starting to garner attention from Western medicine—and this book gives you a crash course in a light, easy-to-read book.

About the author: Tero Isokauppila is the founder of the Finnish-American functional foods company, Four Sigmatic, which (full disclosure) does sell adaptogenic mushrooms. (I’m a fan.) His book, however, is highly informative and educational. He has a degree in chemistry and a certificate in plant-based nutrition from Cornell University. He has also authored a companion book, Healing Mushrooms.

Available at Bookshop.org

6. Become What You Are by Alan Watts

This book did take me more than a single day to read, as it was one I carried around in my bag and puzzled over for a while—but I could have.

At 144 pages, Become What You Are is a delightfully thought-provoking, inspiring little book that can be consumed in a single afternoon, though you’ll likely want to keep the evening free for the musings, self-introspection, and general philosophizing that are sure to follow. It gives a glimpse into various religious philosophies on how to discover your true self: a question we’ve all asked ourselves at one time or another but whose answer is often elusive if not ephemeral.

About the author: Alan Watts (1915—1973) was a British and American writer and speaker who popularized and interpreted Eastern philosophies for a Western audience. In addition to his 25+ books and essays on Buddhist, Taoist, and Hindu philosophy, Watts gained a significant following through his radio broadcasts, which are still circulated today.

Available at Bookshop.org

Who are you, really?

Continue the never-ending project of getting to know yourself better with My Favorite Books on Self-Awareness.

Learn how to do things alone—without feeling lonely

a comfortable, nonjudgmental email challenge that helps you own the power of being alone

(See what’s inside.)

Memoirs you can read in a day

Memoirs and biographies are some of my favorite types of books. As a long-time journal-er, I appreciate the dedication and insight it takes to attempt to articulate the chaos within—and the courage to bear it publicly.

From household names to emerging voices, these short memoirs are worth taking the afternoon off:

7. My Story by Marilyn Monroe with Ben Hecht

There have been countless books, essays, documentaries, memes, and other think pieces written about the life of Marilyn Monroe.

Tragic. Beautiful. Famous. Blonde. Married thrice. Institutionalized once. Medicated often. The superficial details of Monroe’s life provide easy material to romanticize and sensationalize. But what would she say?

My Story is, for once, the woman’s own words. Written throughout her life but published posthumously, this unfinished memoir touches on her childhood, her career, and her highly publicized marriage to Joe DiMaggio. If you’re curious what lies beneath all the pop culture hullabaloo and want to get straight to the source, this is it.

About the author: Marilyn Monroe (1953—1962) needs little introduction. Born Norma Jeane Mortenson, the American star was a top-billed actress, famous sex symbol, and an enduring cultural icon. She was also an intelligent, compassionate person who, despite the ongoing speculations, the public will never truly know.

Available at Bookshop.org

More Marilyn?

A few years ago, I surprised myself by falling into an enormous Marily Monroe reading rabbit hole. I was never that intrigued by the famed starlet (I was more of an Audrey Hepburn fan) but quickly became mesmerized by her so widely dispersed yet so little understood story.

These books, in particular, were well researched and illuminating:

Marilyn Monroe: The Final Years by Keith Badman

The Last Days of Marilyn Monroe by Donald H. Wolfe

The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe by J. Randy Taraborrelli

8. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

I found this book on a friend’s bookshelf while visiting her in Washington, D.C. for the weekend and spent a rainy afternoon sitting on her couch reading it from cover to cover.

In this memoir, Albom recounts his weekly visits with his former sociology professor who is dying from ALS. I believe it’s been made into a film and adapted for the screen several times, but (as always) I recommend reading the book first.

It’s one of those heartwarming, feel-good books that IMHO is best enjoyed with a delightful beverage, i.e., tea. If you’re not yet a tea drinker but want to be, you can find a cup to suit your palette in my enormous guide on How to Start Drinking Tea: The Best Tea for Non Tea Drinkers.

About the author: Mitch Albom (1958—) is an American writer, journalist, and radio host, best known for his books about life, loss, and meaning. Altogether, his works have sold 42+ million copies and have been translated into 48 languages. He currently writes a lifestyle column for the Detroit Free Press and a sports column, syndicated by Tribune Content Agency. He also hosts two radio programs.

Available at Bookshop.org

9. Instructions for Traveling West by Joy Sullivan

Sometimes, only poetry will do. If you want to spend the afternoon with some light reading that will inspire, uplift, and take you on a journey to get in touch with those deep-down feelings you have that you’ve always struggled to articulate, then Joy Sullivan is your ideal partner in crime.

I devoured this book of poems over two days, on both occasions luxuriating in the bath with candles and, you guessed it: tea. Both times, I emerged feeling understood, reassured, and certain that any wild ideas I have are well worth pursuing.

I’ve since gifted my copy to a friend, and I wish to do the same to you.

About the author: Joy Sullivan (unknown) is a poet and educator. She was the poet-in-residence for the Wexner Center for the Arts and has guest-lectured at Stanford, Florida State University, and other institutions. She now leads writing workshops and writes the newsletter, Necessary Salt.

Available at Bookshop.org

In times of trouble, I need books.

That’s why I also included Instructions for Traveling West in my collection of Books for Existential Dread.

If the state of the world has you feeling troubled lately, I hope these will help you or at least offer a few hours of respite.

Ready to read?

Don't procrastinate—grab a book you can read today:

The best book to read in a day, depending on your mood

“Best” is, of course, subjective. But I’ve spent a long time creating a curated guide to help you find a short book to read in an afternoon that accurately matches your mood:

Best books to read in a day — based on your mood

What’s the best book to read in a day… Based on your mood	The book
If you want to work on the classics…	The Stranger by Albert Camus
If you’re interested in books from non-English-speakers	Solaris by Stanisław Lem
If you want an emotional, mother-daughter story	Life on the Refrigerator Door by Alice Kuipers
If you’re looking for a tear-jerking romance	Love Story by Erich Segal
If you’re curious to learn something new about health	Healing Adaptogens by Tero Isokauppila
If you want to explore a bit of philosophy	Become What You Are by Alan Watts
If you’re in the mood for an honest celebrity autobiography	My Story by Marilyn Monroe
If you want to read a book about life	Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
If you’ve got a craving for poetry	Instructions for Traveling West by Joy Sullivan

Conclusion: Books you can read in one sitting are always worth "wasting" the day

There’s something delicious about spending the entire afternoon reading, especially when there’s something else you really “should” be doing. But in the grand scheme of things, is there any better way to spend your time than bettering your mind?

If so, I’ve yet to discover it.

Next Steps:

Pick one book from this list and buy it now so you’re ready for your reading day. Or head over to your local library and grab a copy for free.

Set aside a full afternoon (or morning or evening). Book a spot at your favorite restaurant. Plan to head to your coziest cafe. Or just nestle at home with a freshly brewed cup.

Put the kettle on. Because what goes better with a brand-new book than a steaming pot of tea? Before you brew, I encourage you to consider one of these 6 Ethical Tea Companies from which to source your leaves. (Big Tea is a thing, and it’s gnarly.)

Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.

Books You Can Read in a Day: Common FAQs

What is the best book to read in a day?

It depends on your mood. If you want to work on the classics, I highly recommend reading The Stranger by Albert Camus. If you’re in the mood for poetry, I’m smitten with Instructions for Traveling West by Joy Sullivan. And if you’re just looking for a good, old novel, I’m in love with Love Story by Erich Segal.

What are some classic books that can be read in one sitting?

The Stranger by Albert Camus is very short and snappy to read. I didn’t include it in this list, but George Orwell’s 1984 and Animal Farm are also quick reads; they’re included in my round-up of easy-to-read classic novels for people dipping their toe into the world of classic literature.

What are some great short novels you can read in one sitting?

There are many, actually! Some of my current favorites are Love Story by Erich Segal (if you’re going for romance), Life on the Refrigerator Door by Alex Kuipers (if you want a mother-daughter tale), or Solaris by Stanisław Lem (for science fiction fans).

Want to support local bookstores?

So long, Bezos.

find alternatives to Amazon for books

Merry

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

The post 9 Books You Can Read in a Day appeared first on A Merry Loner.

What To Do Instead of Social Media

Merry — Mon, 18 Aug 2025 10:27:19 +0000

Live what’s beyond the screen.

It feels a little sad thinking about writing this, but such is life in the age of an in-your-face, 24/7 newscycle, look-at-me-aren’t-I-interesting influencers, and cat videos. Understandably, I think it’s safe to say we’re all a little addicted to social media—even those of us trying to live a more analog life with paper books and journals replacing excessive screen time.

But it’s not easy.

When you’re eating dinner, unwinding after work, or just waiting in line at the grocery store, for so many of us, it’s become a natural impulse to reach for the phone. Even if we’re not looking at anything interesting. Even if we’re not really paying attention to what we’re reading or watching. Despite the lack of intrigue or real joy, it seems like we just can’t help ourselves. We. Must. Look.

But really, we don’t have to. We do have a choice to use social media less or not at all. It may not be easy at first to abstain. That’s okay. It’s not your fault. Big tech companies literally spend millions of dollars lobbying governments and paying huge teams large salaries to make their apps addictive and to craft crafty algorithms that bewitch, beguile, and tantalize.

Don’t give up, though.

The power of good habits is real. While it may be hard at first to use social media less, the more you pay attention to your impulses and make small, daily efforts to replace them with healthier (and more enjoyable!) activities, the less you’ll even want to look at social media. Because you’ll be too busy living life in the real world.

Start today. There’s no excuse. I’m giving you dozens of ideas of what to do instead of social media—and there are infinite other possibilities.

The shortlist: 34 things to do instead of social media

After you wake up: meditate; stretch; journal

When you eat: read a book; sit in silence; phone a friend

During your commute: listen to music; read; do a puzzle

At night: make a cup of tea; take a warm bath; write tomorrow’s to-do-list and today’s done list

If you want to be productive: learn a new language; do a word puzzle; study geography

If you want something creative and mindful: doodle; color in a coloring book

When you’re bored inside: do a puzzle; try a DIY craft; bake something simple

If you want to go outside but don’t know what to do: go for a quick walk; do nothing

When you have just a few minutes to fill: do a five-minute stretch; look out the window; drink a glass of water

When you need to zone out: play with kinetic sand or putty; color, doodle, or knit

If you want to unwind before bed: stretch; journal; read

If you want a hobby you can do anywhere:draw; learn a new language; play cards; knit

More articles on analog living:

How to Live a More Analog Life

How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone

5 New Things I Want to Do Alone This Year

Things to do instead of social media

When was the last time you let an entire day pass without spending at least a few minutes scrolling?

No judgment here—it’s hard! The entire world is clawing for our attention online, and resistance is tough. In my opinion, the easiest way out is finding new activities to replace the scrolling urge.

And there are plenty. Here are 34 ideas of things to do instead of social media:

What to do instead of social media in the morning after you wake up

Did you know that over half (55%) of US adults check Facebook as soon as they wake up? Scary stuff, right? Especially when you consider these apps “cause the release of large amounts of dopamine into our brains’ reward pathway all at once, just like heroin, or meth, or alcohol.” Those words are from the Standard Medicine News Center, not me.

Instead of attacking your brain with advertisements and angry news articles, why not take a gentler start to the day?

Meditate. Or if meditating isn’t for you, just take 10 deep breaths. I know it sounds silly, but give it a try. Do it sitting upright in bed, standing in front of a window, or American Psycho-style while looking at yourself in the mirror. The point is to start your day slow and easy rather than flooding your brain with advertisements, doomsday news, and comparison-inducing pictures of random people on the Internet who always seem to have it more together than you.

Stretch. If meditating or breathing exercises are a little too bland for you, then let’s get physical. Again, just five to 10 minutes of stretching is better than nothing. Do it in bed. Follow along with a YouTube video or just do what naturally feels good. Don’t forget to breathe deeply throughout.

Journal. Do you wake up with your mind already racing? Clear the air first thing by getting all that energy down on paper. It could be a to-do list if you’re really stressing, but try to save the responsibilities for later. Instead, maybe jot a few lines about the best part of yesterday, what you’re looking forward to today, or (the faithful standby) what you’re grateful for.

Things to do instead of scrolling social media when you eat

Has eating while scrolling (or watching) become the default? I guess so. A new report from YouGov reveals about one-third of adults look at their phones while eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Fight the urge to fill downtime (and chow time) with screen time.

Read a book. Or a magazine. Or a blog or even the newspaper. Whatever—but make it something you actually read. No skimming, no flitting through articles, and absolutely no scrolling. And when you get to the end of a page, maybe ponder it for a few seconds before immediately jumping to the next form of stimulation.

Sit in silence. Yes, it shouldn’t feel insane or serial killer-ish to just sit, unstimulated for a few minutes. I fear that’s become the case, though. Try it. Look out a window. Eat slowly. Let your mind wander or even become bored. (I’ll let you in on a secret: Boredome is where thinking and creativity blooms. And after that, you’re off to the races.)

Phone a friend. Don’t text them first. It’s really no big deal to call someone; if they’re busy or don’t feel like talking, they won’t pick up. Simple. But if they are free, lucky you. You get a few minutes to chat, catch up, and laugh with a friend—the oh-natural way to de-stress.** (Just be careful to not chew too loudly into the phone.)

Not at ease doing things alone?

What to do instead of scrolling social media during your commute

Your options here vary depending on whether you drive, walk, cycle, or ride public transportation to work. Or maybe you work from home and don’t have a commute at all. (In that case, I still recommend creating a brief relaxing morning routine for yourself before plunging headfirst into your inbox.)

Listen to music. Not just in the background. Really listen to the music. Actually, this is the #1 thing I miss from my old commute. Every morning, I could listen to almost an entire album in its entirety, memorize all the lyrics, and catch the sonic nuances I miss when songs are just playing in the background.

Read. Yes, reading will make a few appearances on my list of things to do instead of social media. I simply can’t extol the benefits of reading enough. And given our society is experiencing an alarming decline in reading comprehension, I think reading a book, a blog, a magazine (anything, really) is one of the best things you can do for yourself—morning, noon, or night.

Do a puzzle. I’m partial to Sudoku, but there are a lot of options out there: crossword puzzles, word searches, dare I say Wordle. It seems like there’s a new word game dominating the App Store rankings every few months. While mobile games have their own addictive qualities, I still think it’s better than getting sucked into the infinite social media scroll.

What to do instead of social media at night

This is prime scroll time. And I get it. We’re all damn tired. Life is hectic, expensive (ever more so, it seems, with each passing day). When you can finally call it quits for the evening and do some R&R, social media is an easy, low-effort go-to.

But there are better (less destructive) ways to unwind.

Make a cup of tea. Don’t just boil water, plop a tea bag in a mug, and be on your way. Instead, make it a ritual. Take out a teapot, a teacup, and a tray. Stand in the kitchen while you wait for the water to boil. Measure out loose leaf tea. Maybe even create your own blends, like mixing chamomile and peppermint together. Stir in honey, milk, or lemon—you get the idea.

Not a tea drinker?

You just need to find your favorite cup. Discover the best teas for non tea drinkers.

Take a warm bath. Is there anything more luxurious? While I prefer a good 45-minute soak with some tea, candles, and a good book, I realize this allotment isn’t practical for every night of the week. (Then again, most TV shows or doom-scrolling sessions end up being 45 minutes…) Even 15–20 minutes in the hot water with some bath oil and/or salts can melt away tension, warm up cold feet, and prep you for deeper, more restful sleep.

Write tomorrow’s to-do list and today’s done list. Preparing tomorrow’s to-do list the night before helps create mental space between where you are now (i.e., unwinding time) and the next day’s load of responsibilities. I’ve also recently gotten into writing “done” lists. Especially on days when I feel like I didn’t accomplish a lot, writing it all out on paper gives me a little screen-free dopamine hit—and helps me transition to relaxing time guilt-free.

Productive things to do instead of scrolling social media

The screen is just too irresistible. So re-train your brain.

Instead of scrolling mindlessly through advertisements (seriously, it feels like Instagram is mostly just ads these days), try downloading a few more “productive” apps to take over your screen time.

Learn a language. Duolingo is the mainstay, and the one I’ve used to learn a little Polish and a few words in Italian. But there’s also Babbel, Drops, or Memrise. Sure, you’re not going to get fluent using a language-learning app—but you’ll certainly do more good for your brain learning how to order a coffee in German than watching someone show off a Shein haul on TikTok.

Do a word puzzle. There’s a reason retired people start picking up crossword puzzles and Sudoku books (besides all the extra free time). They help keep your mind sharp. One study from the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry found a link between the frequency of doing word puzzles and cognitive functioning in adults aged 50 to 93. So instead of killing your brain with scrolling, how about helping it out with an analog, paperback puzzle book?

Study geography. The word “study” may be a bit of a stretch here, but quick: What’s the capital of Eritrea? It’s embarrassing not to know geography, isn’t it? Rather than burning your retinas with memes and hot takes, why not take the 10 minutes you would have wasted on TikTok and use it to learn capitals with apps like World Map Quiz?

Creative, mindful activities to do instead of doomscrolling on Instagram

This art isn’t going on the Internet. In fact, it could go straight in the trash if you want it to. The point isn’t to create something award-winning or innovative but to let the mind (and hand) wander freely for a few minutes and exercise your creative muscles—instead of numbing them with TikTok.

Doodle. ‘90s kids can draw that S shape (you know the one I’m talking about). A snowman. A house. An indiscernible abstract blob. (My go-to doodle in high school was different styles of Christmas trees.) Doodle on a napkin, in a notebook, or on the back of a receipt—anything to give your brain a little break without a glowing screen.

Color in a coloring book. If you prefer to color within the lines, that’s an option too. For this, you’ll need to buy an adult coloring book (Or a children’s coloring book. There are no age limits.) Put on some relaxing music, and let your hand and your crayons do the rest. I promise you’ll feel relaxed.

Indoor activities to do instead of social media

If you’re stuck inside for whatever reason (bad weather or waiting on the laundry), don’t reach for your phone out of habit to fill the space. Better yet, turn your phone on silent, put it in the other room, and focus on something analog. .

Do a puzzle. Jigsaw puzzles, in particular, are just the right combination of light mental stimulation and gentle motor movement. Enjoy a few moments of silence, or put on music or a podcast in the background. And when you’re done (even if it takes awhile), you can glue it, frame it, and hang it on the wall like a proud parent.

Try a DIY craft. It doesn’t have to be anything polished or Pinterest-worthy. Actually, it’s more fun if you don’t take it too seriously. Make a bookmark. Create a card to mail to a friend. Or cut up old magazines into a collage for your desk. (If you’re lost for inspiration, I share a lot more crafty inspiration in this list of 13 creative self-care ideas.)

Bake something simple. Again, you don’t have to get overly complicated (unless you want to). Baking brownies can literally take 15 minutes, especially if you use a boxed mix, so it doesn’t take much longer than a doomscroll. Plus, at the end, instead of FOMO, insecurities, and self-shame for feeling like you wasted time, you have a positive end result: brownies!

Outdoor activities to do instead of social media

Your grandma, your dad, and science are all in agreement: stepping outside and getting some fresh air is good for you. Period. In fact, a review of 42 studies “found an association with exposure to natural environments and improvements in several aspects of cognitive performance, including attention.”

As soon as you put down the phone and step outside, you’re already on the right track—it doesn’t really matter what you’re doing. Still, here are few ideas to inspire your day:

Go for a quick walk. Every time I take myself on a stupid little mental health walk, I come back home a new person. First, I tell myself, “Why don’t I do this more often?” And then I come home lighter, airier, sunnier, feeling more positive and even prettier—despite the fact that literally nothing has changed except I moved my body and got some fresh air. (On the flip side, has scrolling ever made you feel lighter and prettier?)

Do nothing. Sit on a bench. People-watch. Cloud-gaze. Lie in the grass if you’re near a park. Doing nothing is not only good for your mental health, it’s where the magic happens. As Professor Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, INSEAD Distinguished Professor of Leadership Development & Organisational Change told INSEAD: “…in many instances boredom can be a prelude to something. It can trigger our imagination and creativity.” And best of all? In a world that gets more expensive by the day, stepping outside and smelling the flower is free.

Quick minute activities to do instead of scrolling Instagram

Something that changed my life? Realizing I can still get value out of an activity even if I don’t do it for what I feel is a “worthwhile” amount of time. Doing yoga for 10 minutes is better than not at all. Going for a walk for 5 minutes is better than staying cooped up.

If you have less than 10 minutes? There’s still a lot of good you can do for your body and your mind:

Do a five-minute stretch. When I’m working from home and need a break between tasks, I used to “treat” myself with a few minutes on Instagram. Those few minutes usually ended up being longer than intended—and afterwards, I felt listless, burnt out, and mad at myself for wasting time. Now I pull up a 5-minute “at-your-desk stretch” on YouTube. Those five minutes feel like 15! At the end, I actually feel energized and ready to focus again—and happy with myself for making the right choice.

Look out the window. Not just a two-second quick break from your laptop. More like a long, rolling gaze. What do you see? Passers-by? Trees swaying a little in the breeze? Cute dogs walking by? Give yourself a few minutes to daydream. It’s like TV in your head.

Drink a glass of water. Like the most important things in life, it may not be glamorous, but it’s good for you. Then again, you can make it glamorous. Take five minutes to slice a lemon or some mint leaves. Toss in a few frozen raspberries. (I always keep those in the freezer for smoothies and fancy-ing up my water.) It gives your body a refresh; it gives your hands something to do; and it looks beautiful. Because life should be beautiful.

Mindless things to do instead of social media

Like everyone else in the world, I also sometimes just want to zone out and not think. That’s normal; that’s fine. But if you find yourself dissociating on TikTok too often for too long, it might be time to kick that habit and replace it with something equally brainless but a little less addictive.

Play with kinetic sand or putty. You can even get a little Zen garden to rake. It’s strangely satisfying and gives your brain a moment to zone out with an actually relaxing activity—instead of aggressive doomscrolling which, according to a research review published in Applied Research in Quality of Life, is bad for our mental well-being and life satisfaction. Just saying. SOURCE: Harvard Health Publishing

Color, doodle, or knit. All excellent options for zoning out without turning to social media. I’ve started doing this if I get stressed in the middle of the workday and need a few minutes to decompress. I put on some relaxing music (or even a guided meditation if I’m really stressing), grab a piece of paper, and let my brain be blissfully thoughtless.

Things to do instead of checking social media before going to bed

I don’t think I need to cite a statistic to demonstrate how often people look at social media before going to bed. We’re all guilty of it. And we know it’s bad for us, sending our bodies into a state of heightened alertness which (unsurprisingly) wreaks havoc on our sleep, per Scientific American.

Try this instead:

Stretch. A great way to start the day—and a great way to end it. Even if I’m super tired and come home later after a busy day, I can’t just crash into bed. Instead, I’ll open my laptop and pick a 10-minute evening wind-down stretch, which helps both my mind and my body decompress and get ready for a restful sleep.

Journal. Is there ever a bad time to journal? I don’t think so. Especially before bed when our minds are often running wild with the next day’s to-do list or a highlight reel of all the cringey stuff we said that day, journaling is a quick, easy, free way to let it all out and calm down for the night.

Read. I know people are into their e-readers, but in this case, a real book is best. In a study published by the journal Trials, one-third of participants said reading a book before bed improved their sleep. And I believe it. If I get into bed with a screen, I’ll probably stay up for 30+ minutes scrolling or watching. But if I crack open a book, I’ll be like an old man “resting my eyes” within 15 minutes.

Hobbies to replace social media you can do anywhere

If you want to quit your social media habit and make it stick, then you need to do more than resist temptation—you need to find a new go-to activity for filling downtime.

Enter hobbies. It seems like nobody has them anymore, even though research says hobbies are tied to better mental health. (Nobody’s saying that about social media, are they?)

Here are few on-the-go hobbies you can keep your bag to do instead of social media:

Drawing. Keep a tiny notebook in your bag and pull it out the next time you’ve got a few minutes to kill and want to reach for the phone. (No excuses! Pocket notebooks are easy to find, and these days, they’re probably smaller than that giant iPhone you’re carrying, anyway.)

Learning a new language. I’ve abandoned DuoLingo because I’m trying to go completely screen-free, but I have an impressive 700+ day streak for quite a while. (I actually used DuoLingo to help me kick my social media habit.) And guess what? All those five- or 10-minute daily exercises added up! These days, I can confidently order a coffee, clumsily ask for directions, or even struggle through reading a children’s book in Polish.

Playing cards. Solitaire. Go Fish. War. You may need a little more time (and space) to whip out a card game, but if you’ve got a flat surface, it’s a great way to fill the time without giving into the doomscroll.

Knitting. Or crocheting. I used to do cross-stitch. Depending on how big your everyday bag is, these projects can be surprisingly easy to carry out and pull out when you’ve got a few minutes of downtime. They keep your hands busy—and are much better for your brain than mindless scrolling.

Conclusion: There’s so much life beyond social media

Scrolling may seem like just a pesky habit, but it’s so much worse than that. Social media robs us of the most valuable thing in the world: time.

Time to spend with friends and family. Time to spend with ourselves. Time to learn new skills and discover new hobbies. Time to think.

Don’t you want to take that time back?

You don’t need to go cold turkey. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying checking out the fun goings-on online. But don’t let mindless scrolling become your default—not when there are so many great things to do instead of social media.

Things that leave you feeling refreshed rather than drained. Inspired instead of depressed.

If you’re looking for what to do instead of social media, just start small. Try one thing, and notice how it changes your mood, your focus, and your days.

The more we live life beyond the screen, the more we realize it’s actually more interesting than any feed.

Next Steps:

Pick one activity from this blog post and write in a Post-It. Stick that Post-It on your phone. The next time you get the urge to scroll, lock your phone screen, and try out your new analog activity instead.

Buy a book. Or rent one from the library. Keep it in your bag. When you want to reach for social media, reach for this book instead. Need reading inspiration? Check out my 2025 reading list.

Find more ways to cut the digital from your life. Read How to Live a More Analog Life: 5 easy, cheap (or free) ideas.

Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so these tips are there when you need them.

What To Do Instead of Social Media: Common FAQs

What to do when bored instead of social media?

Boredom actually isn’t a bad thing. The next time you’re feeling bored, instead of reaching for social media, let yourself sit with that boredom for a few minutes. Where does your mind go? If you need to let it out, try journaling or doodling—or just let the daydreaming run wild. When in doubt, move your body. Even a 10-minute walk can change your entire perspective.

Instead of going on social media, what hobbies can I pick up so I never get bored?

Hobbies are kind of like dating: You need to try a few and see what else is out there before you know what you like. So start experimenting! Keep a journal in your bag to draw or write in your free time. Explore classic novels to find your inner bookworm. Download a productive app to learn a new language, play chess, or try word puzzles. If one hobby doesn’t stick, no worries—try something else.

What do people with no social media spend their time doing?

Plenty! They read, write, draw, cook, play games, exercise… The list goes on and on! Most notably, people who don’t fill all their downtime with social media have usually mastered the skill of learning to do nothing. It’s not always easy at first, but the more you spend time in the real world, the less you’ll feel the pull to the digital. You can start with these 5 ways to live a more analog life.

What can I do on the Internet instead of social media?

Rather than scrolling mindlessly with whatever the latest algorithm decides to forcefeed you, try using the Internet intentionally. Read articles or blog posts. Watch documentaries. Take online courses. Listen to music—not just as background noise. The Internet literally contains all the knowledge of the universe. And it’s a lot easier to access the good stuff when you stop defaulting to your social media feed.

With what can you replace social media scrolling?

It depends what you’re into. If you’re a reader, start carrying a book everywhere you go. If that’s not your thing, invest in a good notebook for journaling, writing, or sketching. Or if you’re hooked on apps, try a more productive one, like DuoLingo for language learning or World Map Quiz for geography. An analog break is even better, like five minutes of stretching, walking, or looking out the window—anything offline to break the scroll and remind you there’s life beyond the feed.

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

Merry

Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's halfway there.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.

The post What To Do Instead of Social Media appeared first on A Merry Loner.

Living Alone as a Woman: Why Every Woman Should Live Alone at Least Once

Isabel Ravenna — Mon, 16 Jun 2025 13:05:56 +0000

Solitude isn’t loneliness—it’s liberation.

A few weeks ago, I received a text: “Should I live alone or move back in with my parents?” My friend had lived with the same roommate for half a decade, and life was inviting a change. To me, the answer felt obvious—perhaps that’s only because I’d already taken the plunge.

I was 20 years old when I first lived alone. It was a drastic transition from the home I’d grown up in to a one-bedroom apartment, 40 miles away (to Angelenos, I might as well have moved cross-country). I didn’t know a single person in my new city, and a growing pain was definitely felt. But I’d soon learn that it was only the beginning of the next (very important) four years. Yes, living alone is an economic privilege—for anyone. But living alone as a woman is not inconsiderate—it’s self-honoring.

In my response, I asked my friend, “What happens when a woman builds a life that belongs solely to her?”

Related Posts:

More honest essays on learning to love your alone time?

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Society tells us women are not meant to be alone

Women across cultures are brought up to serve others—emotionally, logistically, physically—even in the modern world and in such subtle ways that you might not notice it until a moment relieves you of those duties. Despite the feminist movement making significant social strides, society still manages to whisper rewards for partnership and condemnation for solitude.

In response to the longer, more philosophical answer than she probably expected, my friend replied, “So you’re team ‘Live on Your Own.’ That’s where I’m leaning too, but I don’t know—I feel bad.”

And there it is. Right on time: feminine guilt.

She wasn’t feeling bad for her multiple years of cohabitating with a friend. Perhaps because it felt justified for reducing costs on behalf of herself and another. Possibly the righteousness of providing company was enough to rationalize. And yet, given the option of her preference—personal space—she felt shame. Precisely my point.

What happens when a woman learns to hear her own voice

If the opportunity arises, women should, at some point, choose solitude, for what accompanies it is invaluable and rare: self-rootedness, independence, and autonomy.

At first, the feeling might be odd, even uncomfortable, not just from the sudden silence of external noise but from the internal clutter, as well.

When the alarm goes off in the morning, she’ll make her way out of bed, moving through her mute space, pour some coffee, take a shower, get dressed, and leave for work—all without saying a word. Saying “goodbye” to a coworker before clocking out some evenings might be her voice’s grand finale for the night (at least with an audience). So long as she doesn’t work from home, like I.

Her ordinary choices will be perceived and influenced by none other than her own heart and mind

Perhaps she’ll make an occasional call. But eventually, she’s thinking most of her thoughts aloud and becoming accustomed to constant background noise—classical music, television, or podcasts.

But what did she eat for breakfast? Anything? How much sugar did she add to her coffee with no one to judge? Was her shower a silent one? Or perhaps she rehearsed her monologue for the afternoon presentation.

Talking and singing to herself won’t be the sole side effects of her sovereignty. Eventually, she’ll see its impact—subtly, at first, and then all at once. Her confidence, habits, and emotional regulation will become natural responses to her truest thoughts.

When anxiety arises, she’ll find no distractions. She might look around, desperate for a reason to perform—but the room will be empty. When the inevitable sadness arrives unannounced, perhaps she’ll put on a romantic comedy. And possibly, this isn’t an unusual response. But the film she plays will be nothing other than a choice of her own.

Her ordinary choices will be perceived and influenced by none other than her own heart and mind: what to eat for dinner; what song to sing in the shower; how long the shower will be. Maybe the lights will be off. Maybe a single candle will be lit. I wonder if the soundtrack will be Lana Del Rey’s voice or that of a self-honoring silence.

And after that, who’s to say if she wears silk pajamas, a 10-year-old t-shirt, or nothing at all when she tucks herself into bed, saying, “Sweet dreams, Self.”

Not quite ready to go out on your own yet? Baby steps.

A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge can help you get there.

Daily bite-sized challenges to help you experiment with doing things alone
A judgment-free zone to share all your feels about how the day’s activity went
7 journal prompts to help you process and learn from what you did that day

Getting over the myth of loneliness

The weight of being alone is only a temporary feeling. And like any weight, picking it up often enough will strengthen the muscle of being alone.

It’s only natural that the first moments of reclamation will look like an empty space, but as an anonymous (probably female) person once said, “Sometimes you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time being yourself.”

It’s no secret that the same invisible weight can exist even when we’re among others. And in the opposite way, solitude can feel deeply fulfilling. In fact, in its truest form, the need to be seen and heard more often stems from the feeling of abandonment than state of solitude. Kent Nerburn wrote it well in Simple Truths:

“Loneliness is like sitting in an empty room and being aware of the space around you. It is a condition of separateness. Solitude is becoming one with the space around you. It is a condition of union.”

This otherness is among the most feared states in modern life: feeling alone, eating alone, sleeping alone, dying alone. But so much of our activity is rooted in a thing so separate from ourselves and our true desires. Perhaps you’re exhausted, but among company at a party. Disengaged, but among company watching TV. Heartbroken, but among company, feeling worse.

When you’re able to be alone, you can truly listen to yourself for a moment, hear what’s needed, and do that thing. Whether it includes, satisfies, or benefits another person mustn’t always be your concern. Only then will the company of yourself become more fulfilling than that of others.

Living alone as a woman—when every season is your own

Of course, much of this applies to everyone—but for women especially, living alone can be a rare and radical act of self prioritization, resisting the socialization that her life is only meaningful when making sacrifices for another.

Is the purpose of life to enrich the lives of others? Possibly. Is it also a purpose of life to unapologetically enjoy your own? I’d like to think so. But if that’s too radical, perhaps begin with getting to know yourself, in the truest way—undistracted, uncoerced, unrestricted. Carve out a season of solitude, plant some seeds, and give yourself some room to grow. Because when the only person you’re living for is you, it’s wild what you’ll discover.

Besides, as I told my friend, living alone isn’t forever—unless she wants it to be.

Recommended Reading:

Isabel Ravenna is a journalist and editor-in-chief of The Ravenna Report. Her work—featured in National Geographic, Business Insider, Complex and SFGate—explores culture, history, identity, and the quiet revolutions we live every day.

The post Living Alone as a Woman: Why Every Woman Should Live Alone at Least Once appeared first on A Merry Loner.

Looking Inward: Why Shelby DiNobile Decided to Get Off Social Media & What He Learned

Merry — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 11:22:49 +0000

“I needed to get away from all the distractions I had built around myself.”

Shelby DiNobile decided to get off social media for a year—not an easy feat when you work in the high-speed fashion industry and you’re used to keeping up with a big network of friends and colleagues. But Shelby says he needed what he calls his “Loner Year” to take a step back, slow down, and look inward.

In a conversation with A Merry Loner, Shelby opens up about why he chose to quit social media for a year, the pressure of maintaining an online persona, and how spending more time alone actually helped him focus on more real, authentic relationships.

This is Part I of a two-part interview with Shelby DiNobile. Sign up here to get Part II (and all future Loner Q&As) delivered straight to your inbox.

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More honest interviews about embracing Loner Living?

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AML: In the past year, you’ve decided to go a little off the radar. You moved. You’ve mostly stopped posting on social media. You even changed your phone number. What incited this?

SD: I had been on the radar for so long, but a lot changed over the past few years: COVID; meeting [my partner]; starting a new job. All those things made me realize like, “You know what? Right now, I don’t want to keep posting everything that I’m doing. I don’t really want everyone to know what I’m doing while I’m doing it. I don’t want them knowing all my personal business.” So I think I’m just getting out of the habit of doing that.

It was also a mental health thing. Every time I posted something, I had friends that’d be like, “Oh, where are you?” “Where are you going?” “What are you doing?” And I don’t want that anymore. It just wasn’t really a healthy situation. I started posting things years ago because I wanted to promote myself in general [for work] and because I did enjoy sharing what I was doing. But at some point, after COVID and when I started getting serious with [my partner], I was like, I just need a break from this. Plus, I’m not sure where social media is going right now and if people are [using] it the right way. It just kind of gave me anxiety.

AML: Did you feel pressure to check how many people were responding to your posts and what kind of responses you were getting to gauge your own personal statistics?

SD: Yes, exactly. That was a big part of it. First of all, I [would ask myself]: “Did I Photoshop the picture to look good enough?” There are so many photos up there, and it’s not like I Photoshop everything, but I do tweak things so they look good. And then it would be like: “Is it getting enough likes?” “Am I getting comments?” I just realized: I am worrying way too much about this, and I need to stop.

AML: Was it a difficult transition? When you stopped, how did you feel?

SD: It was difficult at first because when I was excited or I was out, I wanted to post things or just take a hot selfie or share what I was doing, whether it be for personal reasons or work-related. It was a little bit hard at first because I would go to do it but then I’d be like, “You know what? I don’t want to do that. I don’t know who’s looking at my stuff; I’m not sure of their energy or if I really want everybody knowing what I’m doing right now.”

“It was definitely a time to go inward.”

It was definitely a time to kind of go inward. Because it’s very easy to become very active with social media. If you do it the right way, you can get exposure—and I have. I have used social media; I’ve leveraged it a lot. I’ve made a lot of money off it. I’ve met clients; I’ve gotten jobs. I’ve made more money in certain situations just because my social media looked really good. So those are some of the reasons to keep up with it. But I just kind of got burned out with it.

AML: Yeah, when social media started out, we were just sharing stuff for our friends to keep in touch with them. But like you said, unless you have the right privacy settings activated, you don’t even know who’s looking at your pictures now. And it’s become a tool to get a job or make money or create this over-romanticized version of your life. It’s no longer just about communicating with your friends.

SD: Exactly. I was doing that for a while, exploiting the shit out of Instagram to just put out a really great persona. It’s not like I don’t have one, so I thought: “Why shouldn’t I put it out there?” But it became almost like a job. And then I would overthink certain decisions because my first thought was always how it would look online: “Should I live here?” “Should I look like this?” I buzzed my hair recently. Before, I would have thought: “Should I do that? Is it going to look good online? Is everyone going to like the way it looks?” At some point, I was like, okay–I’m exhausted. I’m just going to do what I want. I’m not going to show anybody anything.

“I would overthink certain decisions because my first thought was how it would look online.”

AML: You called this last year your “Loner Year” and a time to look inward. Without the distraction of social media, what have you been doing? What have you learned?

SD: What I’ve been doing a lot of is, I like to call it, taking stock—of just everything. When you’re on the go all the time and you’re in a certain world where you’re moving and shaking, you just don’t really know what’s going on [with yourself]. You kind of lose perspective of things like, what kind of people are you around? Who are really your friends? What kind of places are you going to? I used this past year to take stock of my life, reflecting on things like, “Maybe I shouldn’t be friends with that person. Maybe that person’s just kind of draining the life out of me. Maybe this industry—fashion and production in general—is draining the life out of me.”

One of the other reasons is—I’ll be completely honest with you—I drank a lot. Last year, I went on a health retreat. I’d been drinking a lot for a long time. I felt like I needed to get control of the drinking and take a look at who I was as a person.

“For the last few years, I’ve been whatever you see on social media.”

And when you go to start mental health retreats like that, one of the biggest things they say is try to stay away from social media. Try to give that a break. Give your phone a break. So that’s kind of where it all started. I knew something needed to change. And also, getting into a serious relationship, I wanted to be more private. It all just kind of hit me at once over the past year, like “Who is Shelby supposed to be for the next decade of his life?” Because for the last few years, I’ve been whatever you see on social media.

AML: You hear a lot of talk about overstimulation with technology, but it’s not just technology. We’re inundated by so much all the time.

SD: That was part of the reason I decided to make a big move; I felt like I needed to be left alone. I changed my phone number. I stopped posting so much on social media. I needed to just get away from all the distractions I had built around myself. I needed to focus on who I was and what I wanted to do and whether what I was already doing was good for me or not.

AML: It seems like spending more time alone, being offline, and looking inward actually helped you focus on more authentic, real relationships?

SD: Yes. I think when you’re looking inward and you’re not so worried about [life online], you’re just having authentic communication with the person you’re with. And when you’re spending more time alone with yourself, you have time to really reflect and understand which relationships in your life are authentic.

Like there was this person I used to travel with, and I don’t talk to them anymore because I realized they were not good [for me] to be around. It was kind of a shock, because this person and that group had once been really important people in my life.

AML: What do you like to do with your newfound alone time? I like to do the typical relaxation things, like candles and a bath with a book. I’m also really into yoga.

SD: That’s awesome. I just got one of those trays that go across my bathtub. I’m like, “Why has this piece of wood changed my life?” It’s just a plank that goes across the tub, but it leveled up the whole experience by a million. I also like to cook—good Italian dishes I grew up with, like pasta, sauces. I love making soups. Otherwise, nothing crazy. I just like to rest and enjoy myself.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

Don’t Miss Part II of Shelby’s Loner Q&A

Next month on A Merry Loner, Shelby dives deeper into what he’s doing to protect his alone time. Plus, he shares advice on learning how to prioritize yourself.

Recommended Reading:

Recommendations: How Shelby indulges in his Loner time

Walnut Bath Tray

Osprey Wolf Wild Woods

SHOP

Men’s Robe

Ralph Lauren

SHOP

Oat Cleansing Balm

The Inkey List

SHOP

The post Looking Inward: Why Shelby DiNobile Decided to Get Off Social Media & What He Learned appeared first on A Merry Loner.

9 Books on My 2025 Reading List

Merry — Wed, 29 Jan 2025 12:37:07 +0000

a memoir, fiction, and translated works

Am I ever going to finish my reading list? Definitely not. Do I keep adding to it almost every day, not because I have shiny-new-object syndrome but because there’s simply too big a world of too many marvelous books to read? Yes, I’m glad you asked.

My books-to-read list is ever-growing, but these nine just got a fast-track to the top of the stack. Here’s why:

The shortlist: 9 books on my 2025 reading list

Dinner for Vampires — a memoir
Intermezzo — the latest novel by a new favorite author
Cleopatra and Frakenstein — Instagram made me buy it
Before the Coffee Gets Cold — a mainstay in my local bookshops
The Café with No Name — a last-minute edition
The Golden Notebook — a Nobel Prize winner
Washington Sqaure — a new-to-me classic to discover
Solaris — a science fiction novel
Daily Rituals: How Artists Work — for creative inspiration

More articles on books:

5 Alternatives to Amazon for Books (and why I no longer buy books from Amazon)

Easiest Classic Novels to Read

Books for Existential Dread

1. Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show by Bethany Joy Lenz

Is it cheating if I already read this one?

I couldn’t help myself. Since I was at my parents’ in Rhode Island to visit my family for Christmas, my inner child was pulling me towards a Barnes & Noble visit with my mom. I’ve been living in France for 3+ years, but even so—I hadn’t been to good, old B&N for much longer than that, and I felt like a kid who had rediscovered the candy store.

When I walked in, this flashy pink cover was on one of the front display cases, and it immediately caught my eye. I’d seen the catchy name and the big, Southern hair pop up on the Internet for the past few months, but I really had no idea what the book was about or even who had written it. Apparently, it’s written by Bethany Joy Lenz who was apparently on some early-2000s TV show called One Tree Hill?

I’ve never seen the show, so it wasn’t nostalgic pop culture gossip that was pulling me in. Instead, I’d recently discovered that Lenz had created a new, print-only newspaper called Modern Vintage News—and that was enough to make me a fangirl. (Yay for what feels like the start of society’s return to a more analog lifestyle.)

Long story short, I started reading this book at the airport on my way home to Paris—and I finished it the next day. It’s an unbelievable page-turner that I very well may read again. 10/10 recommend.

Available at Bookshop.org

2. Intermezzo by Sally Rooney

Another book the Internet sold me on.

Honestly, until a few months ago, I had never even so much as picked up a Sally Rooney book. I wasn’t avoiding her on pretense, but I was going through a years-long novel drought. Fortunately, my pretentious phase of only reading about politics, history, or high-brow classic literature has come to an end, and I’m rediscovering my love of the novel.

In the last three-ish months, I’ve read the other three Rooney books and have been patiently waiting to sink my teeth into Intermezzo. I read Normal People and Conversations with Friends (my least favorite) on my Libby app, and I bought a used copy of Beautiful World, Where Are You? (my favorite so far), but I can’t wait to head to my local bookstore and pick up a fresh, delightfully crisp, brand-new copy of her latest writing. Please, no spoilers.

Available at Bookshop.org

3. Cleopatra and Frakenstein by Coco Mellors

Yet another book the Internet sold me on—and then I promise it stops there.

I think I saw this book circulating on Instagram through most of last year. Like I said, I first turned a blind eye to it because I wasn’t yet back in my I-love-novels-again phase. It was Normal People that steered me back in the right direction, and since then, I’ve been looking for similar writers. I don’t know if this is necessarily going to scratch the Sally-Rooney itch, but it may sparkle and dazzle me in its own unique way.

I’m definitely intrigued by the title and the absolutely stunning cover art, so I already know this is one I’m going to want to buy in hard cover. I plan to carry it in my bag at all times, flash it at the bookshop and local café, and then proudly display it on my bookshelf like the artful trophy it is. (I hope it’s worth it.)

Available at Bookshop.org

4. Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

At last, something that inspired me from the analog world.

For the last year or so, no matter what bookstore I went into, in what country, in what language, I would see this book staring back at me in French, German, English, etc. In the marketing world, they say it takes at least seven touchpoints before a prospect is ready to become a buyer—and it guess it worked on me this time because my curiosity has finally gotten the better of me.

I’m someone who like to go to into a book (or movie, for that matter) totally blind with as little information about the plot as possible, so to be honest, I don’t even know what this book is about. But it’s clearly a bestseller; it’s clearly everywhere; and it’s clearly well loved. And I want in on this story (finally).

Available at Bookshop.org

5. The Café with No Name by Robert Seethaler

Another book about coffee—and the reason this one is on my reading list is a little bit embarrassing.

I couldn’t remember the name of the book “Before the Coffee Gets Cold,” but I knew I wanted to add it to my list even a few months ago, so I pathetically tried searching online with the phrases “café book” or the equally pointless “coffee shop book.” Eventually, I got to the Japanese novel I was looking for, but first, I kept stumbling on The Café with No Name by Robert Seethaler.

Although it goes against my usual practice, I did check out the synopsis for this one: “a vibrant tale of love.” “Summer 1966.” “Robert Simon is in his early thirties and has a dream.”

I didn’t need to read anymore—they’ve already got me. Just skimming a few lines from synopsis makes me feel like my world has instantly become sepia-toned and poetic and scored by Alan Menken. I’m planning a vacation in April, and I can already picture myself reading this on dreamy spring days in a train car while stealing glances out the window at green, rolling landscapes. (Yes, please.)

Available at Bookshop.org

6. The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing

I can’t remember where exactly I heard about this book, but I remember it was from another book.

It was some novel where the protagonist was commenting on another character by saying, “They look like they’ve probably read The Golden Notebook.” I totally didn’t get the reference.

When I looked it up, I immediately realized how un-well read and sophisticated I am. Apparently, this is “the landmark novel by Nobel Prize winner Doris Lessing” and “a powerful account of a woman searching for her personal, political and professional identity.” Definitely something I want to check out.

Plus, I’m someone who is unabashedly sold by a book’s title or cover. It’s the title that’s drawing me in this time, though the jury’s still out on whether or not I’ll agree with the Nobel Committee’s high marks.

Available at Bookshop.org

7. Washington Square by Henry James

Another mystery on my reading list—I can’t remember why this book is there, but it certainly deserves its spot.

It covers all the points an exquisite novel should: 19th century New York society. A romance with “a dashing and determined suitor.” And a father determined to squander said romance.

Plus, I’ve never read any of Henry James’s works (and even though I said I’m getting back into the modern novel, I’m not giving up on classic literature altogether), so this seems like as good as any place to start.

P.S. I haven’t even read this book yet, but the 19th-century New York society is already brining back memories of one of my all-time favorite book series that I devoured when I was in middle school and then again in high school and then again in my early twenties. If you’ve never checked out The Luxe series by Anna Godbersen and you want a high drama mixed with silken dresses and passive-aggressive, old-fashioned manners, then this is for you.

Available at Bookshop.org

8. Solaris by Stanisław Lem

I haven’t read a science fiction book in a long time, so I was really thrilled when a friend gave me this book on their recent visit to Paris.

I’m actually a huge sci-fi fan, so I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit that I’d never even heard of Stanisław Lem. As I’ve recently learned, he’s considered a very prolific writer, particularly in philosophy, futurology, and science fiction. In fact, according to Wikipedia, fellow sci-fi heavyweight Theodore Sturgeon called Lem “the most widely read science fiction writer in the world.” (That was in 1976.)

Plus, Lem is a Polish writer, and I’m married to a Polish man, so I consider it personally important to read more Polish works. I’m excited to dive into this one. Who knows, perhaps it will be the first of many Lem books on my shelf.

Available at Bookshop.org

9. Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey

And lastly, a good, old self-help book.

(Is that what this is?) I don’t mean to be insulting. I feel like the self-help book category is the subject of a lot of mockery—but couldn’t we all use a little more help?

I’ve heard of this book over the years since it was published in 2013, but it wasn’t until a couple of artist friends mentioned it to me last year that it earned a place on my reading list. Normally, I don’t really go for these inspiration, find-your-way-to-creativity books, but Nikita Andester is one of the best writers I know, so I hold her opinion in good favor.

I’m envisioning myself reading this while drinking tea from a fancy cup on a Sunday morning—or maybe I’ll do it on a random Wednesday afternoon so I can feel like a real broke artist. We’ll see.

P.S. Nikita Andester is also a contributing writer at A Merry Loner. Check out her latest article, In Defense of Laughing Alone.

Available at Bookshop.org

What's your 2025 reading goal?

Last year, I only read 17 books, which is nothing to be sad about, but it still leaves me with a reading list a mile long—and the unfulfilled dreams of being an extremely literary person.

This year, I’m aiming to read 25 books (and I’m already three in!). But you know what helps? Setting up good habits. Reading every day for even just 15 minutes brings me a little bit of joy—and a lot of progress towards my reading goals. (Plus, isn’t anything better than doomscrolling.)

Want in? We’re making it a mini club.

Ready to get to reading?

Read with me. Pick your favorite from my 2025 reading list:

Merry

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

The post 9 Books on My 2025 Reading List appeared first on A Merry Loner.

How to Live a More Analog Life: 5 easy, cheap (or free) ideas

Merry — Wed, 22 Jan 2025 13:48:40 +0000

Is the analog revolution here?

Is going analog the new hipster obsession? That’s my prediction . You’ve heard of digital detoxing, dopamine fasting, and other go-screenless battle cries that ironically begin and see their heyday mostly on people’s screens. But one thing I can really get behind is going analog.

Like many people, I stare at my screen all day long for work (and too often, for pleasure, too), so I’m making it a point this year to rid myself of as many unnecessary machines as possible and live life more in the slow lane.

And I don’t just mean intelligent machines like your smartphone or whatever creepy smart device has recently memorized the layout of your living room—I’m talking basically anything that uses power.

Arbitrary as it may be, this is my new goal: to ditch the digital for the old-school and the manual—and, just maybe, cling to my sanity in our overflowing world of kaleidoscopic distractions.

The shortlist: 5 ways to live a more analog life

Brew coffee without a machine—what to do instead
Wake up to an alarm clock instead of your phone
Read on paper: books, magazines, and newspapers + recommendations on where to start
Cut unnecessary stimulation: run errands without listening to anything
Use candlelight (no, really)

More articles on analog living:

What To Do Instead of Social Media

How to Stop Wanting Things

5 Alternatives to Amazon for Books (and why I no longer buy books from Amazon)

1. Brew coffee without a machine

The minimalist fighting for its life in your maximalist routine will thank you.

Instead of beginning each morning by puncturing yet another Keurig cup or Nespresso pod, robotically pressing a button, and allowing the ungodly garbling sound of mechanized coffee-brewing to disturb your morning tranquility, how about a less audibly abrasive option?

These days, my preference is a moka or a classic pour-over, but I used to use an Aeropress. If you want to get really retro and funky, you can even use a Chemex like my parents do. (She’s not a regular mom; she’s a cool mom.)

There are a lot of reasons to go analog and brew your coffee without a machine:

It takes up less room. Instead of an enormous, ugly, plastic appliance spoiling your otherwise very Pinterest-y kitchen counter situation, you could show off an elegant stainless steel moka (this is the one I have), a glass Chemex, or a porcelain coffee filter for dreamy pour-over coffees.
It’s sexier. See above.
It’s quieter. I know espresso and Keurig technology have come a long way in the last years, but still. I want sunrise salutation music in the morning or birdsong—not my Keurig straining to do its very best.
It’s cheaper. Not only are analog coffee brewing methods a fraction of the price of their more mechanized counterparts, but they also don’t come with ongoing costs, i.e., no expensive pods to repurchase (and throw away) over and over again.
It’s more sustainable. Again with the pods. Not only is buying coffee pods an unnecessary expense, but it’s also unnecessary trash. Sure, some places let you bring them in to recycle them (but how often do you actually do that?).

Analog options for brewing coffee:

THE MOKA POT: My personal favorite. Elegant. Super low maintenance. And easy to brew. Plus, I love the way my all-stainless-steel moka pot looks on my stove.

THE POUR-OVER: My second favorite method. This is where I turn when I want a longer, lighter coffee. You can simply pop a pour-over on top of any mug. But I like the elegant combination of a porcelain filter and a glass coffee pot.

THE AEROPRESS: This is how I brewed my coffee when I was 21 years old in my first apartment. It’s cheap; it’s effective; and it’s travel-friendly. Only con? You need to buy the right-sized filters.

THE CHEMEX: Both my Millennial brother and my Boomer parents love to brew their coffee this way. IMHO, it’s like the pour-over method, but a little more complicated. Still, if you’re looking to make your daily coffee ritual coffee slow and soothing, this is a solid option.

2. Wake up to an alarm clock instead of your phone

This was my MO back in the day until the wreckage of a house fire turned my beloved alarm clock into a water-clogged mess. Honestly, that was over a decade ago, and I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t bought a new one since. Instead, I’ve become even more reliant on my phone—and my mental health is paying the price.

If I wake up in the middle of the night and want to check the time, not only do I have to hold a blaring blue light in front of my squinty, naked mole rat eyes, but I’m immediately assaulted by whatever emails or messages have accumulated while I sleep. (Considering I live in Paris and many of my friends, family, and colleagues are six hours behind me in the USA, the damage is usually severe.) Plus, that means I’m bombarded by notifications the very second I wake up to my alarm in the morning, which is a fabulous way to spike my blood pressure and cortisol levels before I even step out of bed.

My husband and I agree: We need to get an alarm clock ASAP. I’m thinking about getting a fancy one so I can wake up to birds chirping and fall asleep to rainfall—or I might just get your very ’90s clock radio so I can wake up to “classic jams” and a radio announcer à la Groundhog Day.

Another perk of switching to an alarm clock? There’s no need to keep my phone on my bedside table, so I can banish it to another room at bedtime and prevent doom-scrolling from taking hold of me.

Pro tip: Not ready to convert to an analog alarm clock, but want to do something about the middle-of-the-night notifications?

Switch your phone to Airplane Mode before going to bed.

I’ve recently started doing this, and it’s a total game-changer. Now at least when my phone alarm goes off in the morning, I’m not affronted with emails, text messages, and other notifications—and my morning stays peaceful.

3. Read on paper—books, magazines, and newspapers

I’ve been getting back into analog reading lately. When I moved to France three years ago, I started spending a lot more time reading on the screen because I no longer had access to my English-language library. While I do like reading in French, there’s still so much that I want to read in English.

Over the last few months, I’ve made a pointed effort to read more on paper—and it’s been bringing some serious calmness to my life.

Like many people, I stare at my screen all day, every day for work. Unfortunately, many of my favorite leisure activities (reading and writing) are also very screen-heavy. To be a little gentler on my eyes (and my mind), I’m switching to paper:

I’m buying more books. Besides romantically strolling through local bookstores, I’m a huge fan of Awesome Books. They ship worldwide and sell both used and new copies.
I’m going to the library. Honestly, a big part of the reason I’ve re-fallen in love with libraries is that they’re one of the few places you can go in public for some peace and quiet. And they’re free.
I’m visiting newsstands. In my mind, I’m wearing a trench coat and a magnificent pair of leather gloves while doing it. Most importantly, I like to buy newspapers or magazines that I choose instead of just scrolling through whatever articles the algorithm has decided to force-feed me today.

In the past, I used to buy books only very rarely. I thought it was a waste of money when I could just get what I needed at the library, but now I’m singing a different tune. What used to seem like a waste of money to me now feels like a way to hold onto my sanity in our digitally suffocating world.

Plus, reading on paper has really helped me sleep better. I love reading before bed, but reading on an iPad or Kindle doesn’t send me into Zen mode the same way turning a page does. I even bought myself a clip-on book light for Christmas. I haven’t had one of these since I was a kid and let me tell you: It is thrilling.

I know you probably already have books at home…

But what bookworm doesn’t love new book recommendations? For the curious…

This is what I’ve been reading in 2025. Memoirs. Novels. A Nobel Prize winnder. And some translated works.

These are bookshelf mainstays for the world is stressing me out—AKA, my favorite books for existential dread.

These are the easy-read classic novels I always recommend to people who want to get into the classics. (I support you.)

Need book recommendations? It's your lucky day.

I've compiled classic and contemporary book recommendations, themed round-ups, and book lists of what I'm reading, what I've read, and what's next on my bookshelf.

4. Run errands without listening to anything

The next time you take your stupid little mental health walk or commute or run errands, try to do it without stimulation. That means no listening to podcasts, no audiobooks, not even music.

If you’re not feeling enthused, take a moment to reflect: When was the last time you exercised or went grocery shopping or even just walked down the street without listening to something?

It’s an overstatement to say we’re constantly stimulated, but our content saturation goes beyond the typical doom-scrolling and notifications. Just try to go to a public place (besides a library) where they’re not playing music at an unreasonable decibel. (I’ve yet to find one.) Or try to find someone sitting on the bus or walking down the street who’s not also talking on the phone or listening to music or scrolling.

It’s harder than it seems, right?

The stimulation is everywhere—and it’s destroying us in new and exciting ways, like causing sleep problems, contributing to depression and anxiety, impairing learning and memory abilities, and even increasing risks of brain disease. [Source: National Library of Medicine and Stanford Lifestyle Medicine].

I’m definitely guilty of overstimulating myself. Even when I’m just walking down the street, I’m usually also answering text messages, reading emails, or making yet another list I will probably soon forget about.

So I’m trying to get better at catching myself: If I walk down the street and reach to pull my phone out of my bag, I force myself to put it away and go for an old-fashioned analog walk the way nature intended: without digital stimulation.

Learn how to do things alone—without feeling lonely

a comfortable, nonjudgmental email challenge that helps you own the power of being alone

(See what’s inside.)

5. Use candlelight (no, really)

Yes, I know this sounds insane, but hear me out.

I’m not saying you have to go all Laura Ingalls Wilder and give up electricity, but you’ll be surprised how good it can feel to live by candlelight, if only for a few minutes out of the day. You can:

luxuriate in a bath with half a dozen scented candles surrounding you like a Grecian goddess
create a reading nook where you only read by the flickering flame
enjoy dinner for one next to the heat of a candelabrum

Forgoing the bright (dare I say fluorescent) lights for a soft, candlelit glow is not only easier on the eyes, but it’s a simple (and cheap) way to romanticize your life, whether you’re striking a match for date night or settling in for a loner date with yourself.

There are literally billions of scented candles out there to choose from, but you don’t have to go luxury if you don’t want to. You can find affordable, basic candles at your local grocery store or even 7-Eleven.

What’s your style? Tea lights? Jar candles? Long candlestick holders that let you play Wuthering Heights and wander around the house in an elegant lace nightgown with only a small flame to guide you? You do you (no one else needs to know).

Conclusion: Living your analog lifestyle

What do you think, friends? Is the analog revolution here? I like to think so—at least, that’s what I tell myself whenever I open the news or read something even remotely involving the words “meme,” “cryptocurrency,” or “AI.”

In a world of bros, billionaires, and brats, I’m simply yearning for a little bit of romantic analog relaxation.

Next Steps:

Start small—pick one analog habit to adopt. Maybe that means getting a new coffee pot, switching to an analog alarm clock, or ordering a few books from your favorite bookshop. Need inspiration? Check out 5 Alternatives to Amazon for Books (and why I no longer buy books from Amazon).

Find more ways to cut the digital out of your life. If social media is stealing all of your attention and making you stressed, maybe it’s time to cut back a little. Here are 34 Ideas of What To Do Instead of Social Media for the next step you get the urge to scroll.

Practice getting comfortable with no stimulation. I know, it’s not easy. Many businesess are actively working to keep us addicted to technology. Get more comfortable spending time with just yourself—no digital stimulation—by signing up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge.

How to Live a More Analog Life: Common FAQs

How do you strike a balance between digital connectivity and unplugging from technology in your daily life?

I couldn’t give up technology cold turkey, even if I wanted to. I live in Paris, and my family and many friends are back in the USA. I’m also a full-time freelance writer and can’t possibly do my work without my laptop or the Internt.

But I take active steps to make sure my whole life isn’t on the screen. I read paper books—and I buy them from ethical bookshops instead of Amazon. I’m taking sewing lessons, and I try to fill my free time with activites other than social media.

To strike a balance between digital connectivity and unplugging from technology, try going screen-free one day per week, and build from there. Need ideas? Learn how to enjoy your own company without any external stimulation.

What is the digital-analog life balance?

It’s about finding a balance between the many digital device we touch every day and the analog world. And that balance looks different for everyone.

Maybe you can’t be without your smartwatch because you love using it to track your fitness and sleep—that’s fine. To balance it out, maybe switch to an analog alarm clock so your eyeballs don’t see a screen first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

It will take some experimenting, but basically the digital-analog balance is about adding some analog back into our lives so they’re not overrun by the chaos of screens, notifications, and advertisements.

How does one live a full and engaged life today without the Internet?

It’s totally possible to live an engaged life without the Internet—or any external stimulation, for that matter. I believe living a full, happy life starts with learning to enjoy your own company. That might mean taking yourself out to dinner, going on a solo trip, or just enjoying an afternoon cozy at home.

Not yet comfortable with solo travel or solo dinner dates? Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge, and learn how to own the power of being alone.

Merry

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

The post How to Live a More Analog Life: 5 easy, cheap (or free) ideas appeared first on A Merry Loner.

The 5 Best Books I Read in 2024

Merry — Mon, 13 Jan 2025 13:00:00 +0000

of the 17 I read, these are the crème de la crème

My 2024 books-read tally isn’t all that impressive, though I like to tell myself that that’s because I also spend a lot of time reading magazines and articles that don’t make their way into my precious GoodReads tracker. (Plus, I’ll unnecessarily point out that one of the books I read in 2024 was almost 500 words, so surely that’s got to count for something?)

Then again, reading isn’t a numbers game. It’s for the art, the entertainment, the culture, the knowledge, and—above all—the pleasure.

Out of the 17 books I shelved this year (from fiction to philosophy to history), these are my top five:

Related Posts:

1. Normal People by Sally Rooney

Yes, I am super behind the times. I know everyone already read this book back in 2018 when it came out, but I’ve only just been bitten by the Sally Rooney bug.

And it was a quick case of obsession. I devoured this angsty, intoxicating novel in less than 48 hours. In true Merry Loner fashion, I stayed in one Friday night, made myself delicious gluten-free pasta with fresh tomato sauce, and drank far too much rosé while I cocooned under my favorite woolen blanket in my reading nook for hours on end, nose in book. No regrets.

I think I was finally called to read Normal People because I kept seeing Intermezzo in every bookshop window whenever I went outside for a walk (and every article and round-up whenever I did some doom-scrolling). So I’m working my way through the Sally Rooney bibliography: I’m currently reading Beautiful World, Where Are You? and Conversations with Friends is in the wings on my shelf.

I understand Sally Rooney is a bit of a controversial writer—the real, love-it-or-hate-it type. If you’ve read her books, which side are you on?

Available at Better World Books and Barnes & Noble

2. The Longest Journey by E. M. Forster

Last year, I fell in love with E.M. Forster after reading A Room With a View. I remember it well. It was a glorious April day. I sat outside on my balcony with my feet up on the flower boxes and my well-loved Roland-Garros straw hat keeping out the sun rays. Lucy was young, in love, and in Italy—and so was I (at least vicariously).

After breezing through this 1908 novel in just a few days, I promptly added it to my list of easiest classic novels to read—and then made it my mission to read Forster’s entire bibliography. Next up with his 1907 The Longest Journey.

I’ll be honest: This book is (apparently) widely considered to be Forster’s most inferior work in his otherwise illustrious literary career. Sure, this book takes place in rainy England instead of sunkissed Italy, but otherwise… I’m not getting the rebuff. My copy of The Longest Journey is laden with yellow marks (I highlight my favorite lines) and lovingly abused with dozens of dog-eared pages.

Is it a little depressing? Yes, but life is sad and then you die. So if you want a moody book that will make you ponder, consider this your next read.

Available at Better World Books and Barnes & Noble

3. White Chrysanthemum by Mary Lynn Bracht

This is a book I never would have picked out for myself. It recounts the truly devastating story of two sisters separated from each other by the horrors of the second world war. My summary will likely be insufficient, so here’s a better overview from Barnes & Noble:

Korea, 1943. Hana saves her younger sister from a Japanese soldier and is herself captured and transported to Manchuria. There she is forced to become a “comfort woman” in a Japanese military brothel.

South Korea, 2011. Emi has spent more than sixty years trying to forget the sacrifice her sister made, but she must confront the past to discover peace. Seeing the healing of her children and her country, can Emi move beyond the legacy of war to find forgiveness?

A friend gave me a copy of this book last year for my birthday, and while it’s something I never would have picked off the shelf by myself, it ended up being one of my most memorable reads of the year.

Fair warning: This definitely isn’t a beach read, and certain parts get pretty graphic. Nonetheless, or rather, for those reasons, this is a story worth telling.

Available at Better World Books and Barnes & Noble

4. Too Late to Awaken by Slavoj Žižek

My husband is a big fan of Slavoj Žižek, though while I’ve born witness to a fair number of memes and videos about the Slovenian philosopher, I hadn’t read any of his works before last year. So when my husband’s cousin gifted him this book for Christmas 2023, my curiosity got the better of me, and I stole it for the plan ride home.

It did not disappoint. I finished this collection of essays (just under 200 pages) in one day, and I’ve recommended it to several friends since.

You know how everyone is always talking about how terrible everything is and how the world is ending? (See my book recommendation #5.) Well, Žižek basically discusses ways we can course-correct (and, sadly, how we probably won’t).

P.S. If you find philosophy daunting, don’t! This short book reads like you’re having a chat with a mate over a beer. The words flow easily, but you’re still left with much to think about.

Available at Better World Books and Barnes & Noble

5. The Heat Will Kill You First by Jeff Goodell

I believe this is the first book I read in 2024, and it left quite an impression on me. (Side note: I discovered this book via Seth MacFarlane’s Instagram, where (among Family Guy and Ted promo), the writer-actor-producer-singer I once overheard referred to as “The Elon Musk of the Arts” occasionally shares actually pretty good book recommendations.)

Anyway, in case you missed it: Climate change is slowly killing the planet—and soon, us too. (Yay.) But while floods, storms, and other natural disasters usually get the most press coverage, rising temperatures are also horrifically deadly. According to Goodell, we don’t pay nearly enough attention.

If you want to be empowered with facts to tell your friends, family, or the stranger in line next to you at the grocery store, this book won’t uplift but it will inform. And sometimes, that’s really what we all need.

Available at Better World Books and Barnes & Noble

Didn’t hit your reading goals for 2024?

It’s no big deal if you didn’t. Actually, 81% of Americans say, “I don’t read as much as I like to.” It’s easy to see why. Does anybody else feel like they’re absolutely drowning in a near-constant siege of notifications, emails, messages, and other screen-first activities that exhaust, annoy, and enrage?

There’s good news. In the same study, 85% said they believe reading is an investment in their well-being—and themselves. And 55% say they only need to read for at least 15 minutes to feel like they’ve accomplished something.

15 minutes a day. Come on—we can handle that.

If you want to join me in working on my reading goals for 2025 (this year, I’m aiming to read 25 books), then welcome. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 30-Day Reading Challenge, and let’s make it happen.

A Merry Loner’s 30-Day Reading Challenge

Daily accountability emails
A free reading tracker
Book recommendations
Hand-selected author quotes to get you in the literary spirit

Recommended Reading:

The post The 5 Best Books I Read in 2024 appeared first on A Merry Loner.

The Anti-Gift Guide: What NOT to Buy This Holiday Season

Merry — Mon, 09 Dec 2024 17:23:17 +0000

Gifts that look good, feel good, and DO good.

It’s that time of year again. When every brand you’ve ever interacted with (if only via a few, long-ago clicks) begins force-feeding you a list of “must-haves” for the holiday season.

Things you need. Things your mom needs. Your partner needs. Your best friend needs. But you know what they’re not telling you? You don’t need it.

Really. You don’t need more plastic. You don’t need more expensive, poor-quality clothes you’ll forget about come springtime. And you don’t need yet another useless trinket that’s just going to sit on your shelf and collect dust, unforgotten for a few years until it hits the landfills.

I get it. I’m no scrooge. People like to exchange and share and generally spread merriment. I’m all for that.

But before you click ADD TO CART for these classic holiday gifts, maybe do a double-take. Can you find a more ethical, more minimalist version instead?

Here are 5 gifts NOT to waste your money on this year—and better, less-evil alternatives.

The shortlist: what NOT to buy this holiday season (& what to consider instead)

Books from Amazon >> local, independent bookstores, instead
Sweaters made out of plastic >> handmade, woolen sweaters from Ireland
Cutesy mugs that no one ever uses >> fair-trade, organic tea
Personal care products that pollute the environment >> certified organic options instead
Any random, unnecessary material good >> the gift of knowledge and inner peace

More articles on mindful consumption:

5 Alternatives to Amazon (and why I no longer buy books on Amazon)

6 Ethical Tea Companies for Fair Trade Tea Bags & Organic Tea

How to Stop Wanting Things

1. Books from Amazon

If you haven’t already heard, one of the soapboxes I step up onto from time to time is: Can we please pay more attention to the (many) problems of shopping with Amazon Prime?

Consider this:

Amazon workers are physicall suffering. 42% of Amazon warehouse workers report physical pain, psychological pressure, and poor sleep, according to one survey cited by The Guardian.

Amazon’s carbon emissions are through the roof. 2022 Prime Day ALONE accounted for more than 1.2 million tonnes of carbon dioxide emissions. Fast Company says that’s “equivalent to the annual emissions of 68,000 Americans.”

Amazon is serioulsy lacking in the ethics department. “Toxic” and “brutal business practices.” That’s just the surface level of Vanity Fair’s deep dive into the nefarious online shopfront.

Why not support local bookstores, instead?

Spoiler: Books cost pretty much the same no matter where you buy them. This holiday season (and beyond), I strongly encourage you to consider shopping from your local bookstore instead of Bezo’s big bad machine.

If you can’t find what you need in a physical store-front, I love Bookshop.org. Every time you buy a book, the profits of your purchase go into their profit-sharing pool that supports a network of 2,000+ independent bookstores.

Other cools things about Bookshop.org:

They put their money where their mouth is. To date, they’ve raised over $43 million for local bookstores.

They’re not evil. They’re B Corp™ certified, which basically means they’re recognized for social and environmental performance, transparency, and accountability.

They’re committed to staying independent. Per their mission statement: “It is written in our governance documents that we will never sell the company to Amazon or any major U.S. retailer.”

Now really, what’s the excuse for turning to Amazon instead?

Ready to give?

Find gift-giving inspiration from my 2025 reading list—shelved:

Key Takeaways: Why Bookshop.org is one of the best alternatives to Amazon for books

They’re a B Corp.
For every book you buy, your purchase directly supports local independent bookstores.
They’re a Climate Neutral company.

Psst—curious about other alternatives to Amazon for books?

You got it.

SEE THE LIST

2. Sweaters made of plastic

Sadly, it’s the truth. Not to sound like your grandma, but they just don’t make things like they used to—and that sure as hell goes for clothes.

Today, even many expensive clothes are significantly inferior in quality than were their counterparts a few decades ago.

Amanda Mull for The Atlantic wrote a fantastic article about the degrading quality of clothes, knitwear in particular, in which she explains why our sweaters these days are “garbage.”

Hanna Rosin continued the conversation with Mull in a succeeding podcast. For those interested, here’s the transcript.

"In sweaters...you’re getting a lot of what is essentially plastic. That will show up on fabric labels as polyester or polyamide or acrylic. That’s what you’ll usually find in sweater weaves."

Amanda Mull

How are we supposed to buy sweaters now?

Reject crappy, mass-market labels, and seek handmade, high-quality wares from small businesses instead. Think wool, cashmere—even cotton, if you want a lighter weave.

AKA stop buying sweaters made of plastic. Here’s how:

If you love to shop: I advise you head to your local flea markets or second-hand shops, where you’re more likely to dig up vintage finds made from…ya know, actual fibers (i.e., not plastic).

If you’re like me and you hate the hunt for clothes: I’ve got a shortcut: Aran Sweater Market. They’re a small business in Ireland that makes tweed and wool-woven products.

My husband and I own a few of their sweaters, and we’re even buying a few as gifts this year for others. We like them because:

They’re warm.
They’re affordable.
They’re high quality and plastic-free.
They’re a small business.
They have great customer service.
They ship quickly.

(I’m not an affiliate. I just want to help people stop wearing plastic.)

Why should you stop shopping on Amazon Prime?

There are better choices.

THIS IS WHY I STOPPED

3. Another cutesy mug that'll never get used

You’ve given them. You’ve received them.

Mugs are a go-to gift, making regular appearances at Yankee Swaps, office holiday parties, and once-a-year gatherings with your most distant family members.

But be honest: Do they ever end up getting used? Or are they more likely relegated to the back corner of your cupboard, where they bide their time until you eventually move, declutter, or re-gift them to someone else?

This year, cut the waste (and the clichés) by skipping the basic mug gift.

Instead, if you’re intent on giving a beverage-themed gift, how about some fair-trade organic tea? Think:

Teas with robust flavors
Teas with high caffeine content (for the coffee addicts in your life)
Herbal teas for newbies
Teas with low caffeine content (for a gentle start to the day)

I give more research-backed recommendations on how to choose the right tea to give to a non-tea-drinker, plus tips on how to swap your coffee habit for tea:

It's the giving season! (and the avoiding Amazon season)

Discover 6 ethical tea companies for fair trade & organic tea

SEE THE LIST

4. Personal care products with silicone in them

Surprise! Every time you wash your face or moisturize your body, you’re contributing to the build-up of plastic pollution in oceans and waterways.

The culprit? Silicone.

Here’s the short-and-sweet need-to-know:

Silicone is NOT bad for your health. It’s basically an occlusive (which creates a barrier on the skin or hair). [Source: Healthline]

But it doesn’t do anything special for your skin, either. Dr. Deanne Mraz Robinson, a board certified dermatologist told Healthline: “Unless you’re dealing with an open wound on your face, silicones don’t provide any tangible benefits to the skin.”

The problem: Silicones are NOT biobased or biodegradable. The buildup of silicone waste is causing concern among environmentalists (which should be all of us). Apparently, the EU was even considering a ban. [Source: Chemical and Engineering News]

What can you do?

Look for silicone-free personal care products. Personally, I like Kora Organics. My favorite products are the bakuchiol moisturizer, hydrating mushroom mask, and exfoliating serum.

At-home spa day, anyone?

Stay moisturized, hydrated, and in your lane.

SEE 100+ SELF-CARE IDEAS

5. Any random, unnecessary material good

Every year, my mom asks me what I want for Christmas, and my answer is always the same: “I don’t know, nothing.”

Disclaimer: I am not special. I, too, buy unnecessary material goods and enjoy having them. I restocked my favorite Kora Organics bakuchiol moisturizer during their Black Friday sale, and I recently bought a new skirt.

So I don’t need any more things.

Instead, if someone is going to be nice enough to give me a gift, I’d much rather something intangible, like an experience or something I can learn from. Something like:

The gift of a quiet mind. I got myself the Calm meditation app a few months ago, and I’ve used it almost every day since: morning meditations; wind-down breathing before bed; some help in the middle of the day when I’m stressed and panicking about everything I have to do.

The gift of a new language. Last month, I signed up for LingQ. Shortly after, I told my husband: “I think they’ve finally created a language-learning app that doesn’t suck.” I’m learning Polish right now, but LingQ supports 50+ languages.

The gift of art. Instead of a foreign-made, plastic trinket, why not give the gift of art? That could be in the form of painting less, a ticket to a museum, or (for a tangible gift) a piece from a local artist.

More ideas for non-tangible gifts?

How about giving your loved one concert tickets or a certificate for a pottery class?

See more ideas for “experience gifts” in my post: 5 New Things I Want To Do Alone This Year.

Conclusion: Give gifts that feel (and do) good

An anti-gift guide doesn’t make you anti-holiday spirit.

While we could all probably consume a bit less, it’s natural to want to express your love for friends and family with a few choice tokens.

As always, I’m about quality over quantity. Because the best gifts are the ones that look good, feel good, and DO good.

Next Steps:

Share this guide with a friend or family member who’s been bugging you about what they should buy people for the holidays. Hopefully, this will give them some more ethical shopping inspiration.

Reflect on the most recent gifts you’ve given. Are they in line with your values? If not, what can you change this year?

Make your own “ethical wish list.” If someone does ask what you want for the holidays, you can guide them towards purchases that don’t create clutter, pollution, or plastic.

Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.

The Anti-Gift Guide: Common FAQs

How do I find ethical gifts without spending too much money?

Ethical gifts don’t have to be expensive. When in doubt, shop small and shop local.

That could be: fresh coffee breans from your local coffee shop; a thoughtfully chosen book from your local book shop; tickets to a local show or musem.

Isn't avoiding plastic sweaters and big name brands a bit extreme or elitist?

If it seems that way to you, you’re entitled to your opinion.

But doesn’t an actually wool sweater sound nicer, softer, and warmer than a polyester one? Ditto for buying from a small business instead of Amazon’s smorgasbord of questionable, Made-in-China crap.

What do I do if someone expects a storebought gift from me every year?

You’re not obligated to fulfill people’s own made-up expectations. But doesn’t mean you can’t get them a thoughtful, heartfelt gift.

Instead, how about homemade cookies? A from-the-heart note written in a handmade greeting card?

Merry

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

The post The Anti-Gift Guide: What NOT to Buy This Holiday Season appeared first on A Merry Loner.

Did This French Writer Just Reveal the Secret to Happiness?

Merry — Tue, 14 May 2024 16:39:19 +0000

I think I may have stumbled on the secret to happiness … Plus artful delights from a weekend in Cannes et Le Cannet

Last week I took a few days off to go visit a friend in Cannes. On my train ride back home to Toulouse, I spent my time chatting with the guy in the coffee cart (Sure, I have an anglophone’s accent, but if you tell me I sound like Jane Birkin when I speak French, I’ll take it), staring wistfully out the window at the languid, blue-green landscape, and reading the latest issue of L’Express from back to front.

Why back to front?

I can’t say why, really. This is always how I saw my mom reading magazines and catalogues when I was a kid—back when print still reigned supreme (i.e., it ran at all) and I was inducted into the hobby of magazine-reading via teeny-bopper starter subscriptions like Girls Life and Seventeen. But the habit stuck.

Plus, the artsy stuff is always in the back.

Related Posts:

First, I flipped past the closing column by Christophe Donner. (Sorry, dude, I wasn’t that interested this week.) I overlooked the next two pages of advertisements and word puzzles. (I’m terrible at crossword puzzles in English and couldn’t possibly imagine trying them in French (though I would say I’m fairly skilled at Sudoku).)

Then I stumbled on it: this week’s book review on Monique s’évade, by Édouard Louis.

I like to read book reviews, but they’re not always exactly works of literary marvel all on their own. This review, however, gave me pause (and maybe the secret to happiness?).

It wasn’t a review so much as it was a brief interview with the author, who had me rereading his words again and again.

Here’s a scan of part of the page:

Scan from L’Express N°3800

Here’s the original quote (highlighted above):

Je vois souvent dans la bourgeoisie des individus qui cultive leur blessure, qui y reviennent sans cesse, notamment en faisant de la psychanalyse, des thérapies collective. Je sais que cela peut aider certaines personnes, mais je me demande aussi à quel point cette culture de sa propre blessure empêche d’en sortir.

And here’s an English translation of that quote (provided by DeepL):

I often see bourgeois individuals who cultivate their wounds, who return to them again and again, particularly through psychoanalysis and group therapy. I know that this can help some people, but I also wonder to what extent this culture of one’s own wound prevents one from getting out of it.

(It’s not a great translation, but my translator (i.e., my husband) isn’t at home right now, so we’ve got to make do with the robots.)

Let’s focus on what the Frenchman is trying to say.

In this interview, he talks about his latest book, in which he details the story of his mother (Monique) who, at age 55, left the alcoholic and all-around rather boorish man she was living with to start a new life for herself in Paris. Louis says (again, via poor translation):

My mother has lived through extremely violent situations in her life, but when she manages to extricate herself from them, the incredible thing is that the trace of this violence suddenly disappears within her. She never maintains the wound.

This is likely a very moving story—one which I’ve yet to read since I only just discovered it a week ago and it’s currently living at the top of my reading list (a rather ephemeral place since I’m constantly finding new subjects that catch my interest). But what spoke to me most immediately were Louis’s words on “bourgeois individuals who cultivate their wounds” and whether or not “this culture of one’s own wound prevents one from getting out of it.”

This was the part where I started staring wistfully out the train window.

I asked myself: Is the secret to happiness just about being able to move on?

What if, instead of

licking our wounds
journaling about it ad nauseam
talking to our therapists
talking to our moms
talking to our friends as if they were our therapists or our moms
and generally living life in a metaphorical fetal position where we render ourselves completely inept and unable to keep going because we are so traumatized, offended, and insulted by one or more major and/or minor event(s) from our past

… what if you just decided to move on?

Ruminating is killing your chance to be happy.

I’m a big ruminator, myself. I’ve spent many sleepless nights reliving old memories, playing coulda-shoulda-woulda; going on long, aimless walks alone; and scribbling in my journal like the whacked-out girl from Gone Girl.

Or I should say: I WAS a big ruminator. Because I got tired of all those sleepless nights reliving old memories; my feet started to hurt from prowling the streets alone looking for answers; and I ran out of ink attempting to decode where it all went wrong in my journal.

I decided I wanted to be happy instead.

It would be very poetic and quotable and Instagram-worthy to follow that line with an uplifting, “So I did.”

But you’re not a child and neither am I, so we know life doesn’t march ahead in such a neat, straight line as that.

What life does do, is go on. You can either decide to move along with it and leave behind the past (however horrendous, joyful, or ripple-causing it might have been) or isolate yourself in your own tower of tortured memories.

I used to do the latter, but I’ve learned that the former is a lot more fun.

Life is sad, and it will hurt you and disappoint you. But you’ll hurt yourself more by choosing to live in that hurt forever.

Or you can do as this Frenchman suggests: Let the wounds heal, the scars fade, and keep on living.

Need a release from ruminating?

My favorite way to destress is with a book.

If you want to rediscover (or discover) your love of reading, I’m here to support you. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 30-Day Reading Challenge and you’ll get:

Daily accountability emails
A free reading tracker
Book recommendations
Hand-selected author quotes to get you in the literary spirit

In lighter news, let’s look at some French art together:

Before landing on the article about Édouard Louis, I also read: Ann Temkin : « L’Atelier rouge a conduit Matisse vers l’imprévu » (Ann Temkin: “‘L’Atelier rouge’ led Matisse into the unexpected”).

If you’re into art (or not into art but you at least know the name Matisse (like me)), then this might be an interesting one for you. I was a little gobsmacked by the aggressively red paintings from Matisse that in my very uneducated opinion look very un-Matisse-like:

Scan from L’Express N°3800 of Grand Intérieur Rouge by Matisse

Scan from L’Express N°3800 L’Atelier Rouge by Matisse

All of the above was discovered on my tiny, little siège westbound to Toulouse. So what did I actually see in Cannes and Le Cannet (besides the secret to happiness)?

Well, on one walk (that was neither aimless nor lonely) I found this mural, Le Mur des Amoureux de Peynets, or Peynet’s Lovers’ Wall.

My photo of Le Mur des Amoureux de Peynets

My photo of the sign describing Le Mur des Amoureux de Peynet

According to the sign (pictured above):

This fresco was painted jointly with Guy Ceppa in 1990 and it represents a metaphor of love, symbolized by a bride and groom flying over the Garden of Eden, inspired by the village of Le Cannet. Raymond Peynet, a citizen of honor of Le Cannet, painted this scene in honor of all young brides and grooms, to whom he offered a poetic interlude in their honeymoon. It was in 1942, in front of the bandstand in Valence that Raymond Peynet dreamt up his famous couple. In homage to lovers, hi friend Georges Brassens wrote the famous song, “Bancs Publics.”

A pretty enchanting sight to see while wandering around your friend’s neighborhood, no?

Recommended Reading:

The post Did This French Writer Just Reveal the Secret to Happiness? appeared first on A Merry Loner.

Slow Living Archives - A Merry Loner

8 Easy, Affordable Ways to Support Local Businesses—and Why It’s Important

The shortlist: 8 ways to support local businesses (without spending a lot of money)

The shortlist: 5 reasons why you should support local businesses

Plus:

What does mindful consumption have to do with being a merry loner?

How to support local businesses

1. Buy coffee beans or grounds from a local shop instead of a grocery store

2. Get groceries at your local farmer’s market

3. Buy books from a local, in-person bookstore

4. Shop clothes from local boutiques instead of name-brand stores or online

5. Eat at local restaurants instead of chains

6. For gifts, check out local shops instead of ordering online

7. Follow local businesses on social media—and tell friends

8. When in doubt, ask yourself: “Is there a local business I can buy this from instead?”

Why support local businesses

1. You keep money in your local community

2. You build your community’s cultural identity

3. You (usually) get better customer service

4. You support skilled artisans instead of mass production

5. You give money to working people instead of celebrities and billionaires

How to discover local businesses near you

1. Google Maps

2. Instagram

3. Local business directories

4. Bulletin boards in local spaces

5. Asking people

Support local business quotes

“Every purchase you make is a vote for the world you want to live in.”

"A small business is an amazing way to serve and leave an impact on the world you live in."

"Support your friend’s business and progression like you support the celebrities that you actually don’t know."

“Shopping locally is an act of love for your community and the people who make it special.”

"People do not buy goods and services. They buy relations, stories, and magic."

"Giving a gift from a small business is giving a gift twice."

"Don't be intimidated by what you don't know. That can be your greatest strength and ensure that you do things differently from everyone else."

"Dream big, start small, but most of all, start."

Conclusion: Supporting local businesses is an act of love, to yourself and your community.

Next Steps:

How to Support Local Businesses (and Why): Common FAQs

Why is supporting local businesses important?

Does Amazon support local businesses?

What happens when you support local businesses?

How does supporting local businesses help the community?

Merry

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

Feeling Lonely? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Bored?

9 Books You Can Read in a Day

The shortlist: 9 short books to read in a day

Or if reading by mood is more your thing...

What do books have to do with being a merry loner?

Classic books you can read in a day

Fiction books you can read in a day

Non-fiction books you can read in a day

Learn how to do things alone—without feeling lonely

Memoirs you can read in a day

Ready to read?

Don't procrastinate—grab a book you can read today:

The best book to read in a day, depending on your mood

Conclusion: Books you can read in one sitting are always worth "wasting" the day

Next Steps:

Books You Can Read in a Day: Common FAQs

What is the best book to read in a day?

What are some classic books that can be read in one sitting?

What are some great short novels you can read in one sitting?

Want to support local bookstores?

Merry

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

Feeling Lonely?

What To Do Instead of Social Media

The shortlist: 34 things to do instead of social media

What does analog living have to do with being a merry loner?

Things to do instead of social media

What to do instead of social media in the morning after you wake up

Things to do instead of scrolling social media when you eat

Not at ease doing things alone?

What to do instead of scrolling social media during your commute

What to do instead of social media at night

Productive things to do instead of scrolling social media

Creative, mindful activities to do instead of doomscrolling on Instagram

Indoor activities to do instead of social media