Extroverts Can Be Loners, Too: How Solo Travel Taught Sarah Silvia to Love Spending Time Alone

“You can do more if you’re willing to be independent.”

When Sarah Silvia booked a one-way ticket to Spain to become an au pair just a few months after graduating from college, she had next to no travel experience under her belt and wasn’t sure what to expect. But something clicked. What started as a leap of faith ended up becoming her new way of life. Years later, Sarah still organizes her work around her travel (not the other way around), and she’s come to see solo travel as an essential exercise to learn more about herself.

In a conversation with A Merry Loner, this former barista, ESL teacher, and self-described extrovert shares how solo travel taught her how to get better at doing things alone, why flying solo feels easier abroad than in her own country, and how solo travel can actually be one of the best ways to meet new people.

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A Merry Loner: Before you became an au pair, what sparked your interest in international travel? 

Sarah Silvia: In university, I had an education professor who is one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. She organized a trip to Costa Rica to teach English (ESL); that was the first time I ever left the country. That was in January 2020, right before COVID. 

Also in my first year of university, I met a girl from Brazil who became my best friend. We are now inseparable — when we’re in the same country. In December 2021, when the borders finally opened again, I went to Brazil. I was like, “This is incredible. This is not something I want to stop doing.” 

AML: Did that experience influence your decision to go be an au pair in Spain? 

SS: Definitely. After seeing Brazil for the first time, I was like, “There is so much of this world to see, and there are so many people to meet and places to explore and foods to try.”

When I got home, the very first thing I did was get on my computer and get on Workaway, which is a work exchange website where you can offer a few hours of work in exchange for room and board. I just made a profile and looked up different opportunities in Europe. 

Almost immediately, a family in Spain got back to me. We sat on the phone for 30 minutes, and she asked me when I was booking my flight. But I decided to stay home and keep working for a couple of months first. Then it was like, “Cool, see you in September.” It was definitely a leap of faith because it was a woman I met off a random website. There was no fact-checking from my end. I just decided to trust my gut and go. It ended up turning out absolutely incredible. 

AML: Before going to Spain, you worked as a barista where you had a big community and social network. What was it like getting used to being by yourself so much in the Spanish countryside? 

SS: I didn’t expect it, but I actually spent a lot of time alone in Spain, which was an adjustment. Not difficult, but different because I’m a very social person. 

Later when I was an au pair again in France, I didn’t have the same work schedule as most of the people I met. I had the whole day free and then I started work