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Poems About New Beginnings for When You Need to Start Again

Merry May 14, 2026

Starting anew can happen at any moment. Joy Sullivan shares her instructions for taking off.

September is the ninth month of the year, but for many, brings the same refreshing feeling of January. Perhaps it’s the smell of fresh notebooks, new class schedules, and first-day-of-school outfits that linger in our minds and make the end of the summer feel like a beginning.

But sometimes, we get the urge to start anew on a Wednesday. Or in July. Or at two o’clock in the afternoon when we’ve had a very disagreeable morning and want to restart the clock to try to win back those lost, grumpy hours.

A few deep breaths can help. A short walk to the corner and back can bring an entirely new perspective. Sometimes, simply brewing a fresh cup of coffee, cracking your knuckles, and opening to a clean page in a book or notepad can trick our minds into starting the day anew.

But sometimes, it’s not just the morning hours we wish we could take back. It’s the entire week, the last few months, or, when our spirits are particularly low and tomorrow feels more like an obligation than an opportunity, it’s the last several years that weigh us down, tethered to the ankles.

How to set ourselves free? How to, despite everything, start again?

Poetry can help.

During my college years when melancholy trailed me like cigarette fumes, I found solace in leftover napkins, corners of newspapers (for I used to luxuriate in the free time of a college student by reading the newspaper cover to cover every day at eleven o’clock, accompanied only by a toasted bagel with cream cheese and a black coffee), and torn-out, crinkled notepads. I wrote away the malaise, releasing it from me in a disjointed anthology of mediocre poems thrown together in between classes, during classes, at coffee shops, and even in the car when I would hurry to pull into the nearest parking lot to preserve an idea. In a way, those poems preserved me, or at least the me who was ailing, and in capturing her inky ponderings, those poems set the new me free.

“Professional” poems (what I call those published and printed in a book for mass-market sale) helped set the new me free, too.

During difficult times, my melancholy introduced me to Charles Bukowski, Molière and my beloved, dreamy William Butler Yeats. Their works fed the melancholy, helped it steep and simmer until I felt ready enough to let it go. But it was Joy Sullivan who spooned me an all-together new kind of elixir that tasted like optimism, more like a soup, really, the kind of broth over which someone labors for hours, one spoonful of which is enough to soothe the sorest throat and deliver a week’s worth of bed rest in one warm gulp.

Here are a few loving spoonfuls for you:

“I wrote a pep talk recently to myself on a bar napkin: no matter which road you take, it will be both glorious and unbearable. Every road is lonely. Every road, holy. The only error is not walking forth.”
— from “Culpable” in “Instructions for Traveling West” by Joy Sullivan

“First, you must realize you’re homesick for all the lives you’re not living. Then, you must commit to the road and the rising loneliness. To the sincere thrill of coming apart.””
— from “Instructions for Traveling West” in “Instructions for Traveling West” by Joy Sullivan

And one big bowl:

“I opened the door for her. Draped the linen napkin
across her lap. Fed her sauteed mushrooms licked
with lemon. Bought her a second glass of wine:
darling, you look lovely tonight.

When it was time for home, I said I’d like
to take her out again. The rain came and I covered
her head. In the bedroom mirror, I asked forgiveness
for letting men love her when I could not. Patted
the ripe pillow of her thighs. Her ostentatious ass.
Marveled at the good dip of her belly, softness
of her breast, sweet wizardry of her feet.

I stood in awe of her beautiful bones.
I begged her not to leave me.”
— from “I Took My Body Out to Dinner” in “Instructions for Traveling West” by Joy Sullivan

These extracts are from Instructions for Traveling West by Joy Sullivan, a collection of poems I read in one sitting in the bath one winter night, marinating in the memories of who I once was and who I’d become, trying to figure out what was still holding me back from outwardly being the me only I know me to be.

And then I pulled the plug and watched the suds swirl away and decided that that evening was as good a time as any to start anew.

I’ve since gifted my copy of Instructions for Traveling West to a friend and need to replace it. In the meantime, I keep a space on my shelf for these four books that soothe me when existential dread comes back to rear its ugly head.

If you’re feeling the winds giving you a gentle nudge to start anew, see quotes about feeling alone to remind yourself that we are each steering our own ship and capable of reorienting our lives at any moment we choose. Traveling alone can help us determine where we want that ship to go; for cautious or new travelers, these books on traveling alone provide courage to set off.

Why Being Alone Is Good for You

Merry March 30, 2026

There are many benefits of solitude, but you have to give yourself the chance to sit there.

It’s the tale as old as time: “I’m afraid I will die alone.”

While such a worry often comes to us in more dire moments, like when a relationship dissolves or family ties begin to come undone, the fear of being alone also creeps its way into our everyday activities: going to a wedding alone; traveling alone; living alone; even celebrating Valentine’s Day alone.

When we compare our inner circle to that of those around us, it can sometimes feel embarrassingly small by comparison. Then that familiar pang of loneliness creeps in, and we’re quick to fill it with scrolling, watching, or consuming—content or otherwise.

But there’s no reason to be afraid of being alone. If you step back from the screen, fake friends, and other mind-numbing distractions and learn how to truly enjoy your own company, you’ll uncover a new, calmer, more peaceful world, one where doing things alone feels comfortable instead of punishing.

Though the silence may at first exacerbate feelings of loneliness, if you learn to sit with it instead of running to distractions, you’ll find you already have everything you need to be happy within you.

Here are six reasons why being alone is good for you and how it helps you live a more creative, fulfilling, connected life:

Not comforting sitting alone with yourself?

Learn how to find confidence and comfort in your own company with A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge.

The shortlist: 6 benefits of solitude that help you think clearly, create freely, and build more meaningful relationships

How spending time alone helps you:

Plus, why intentional solitude is getting harder and harder to come by.

More popular posts on the Loner Mindset:

Why Being a Loner Helps You Make New Friends

Quotes About Feeling Alone to Remind Us We’re Each Steering Our Own Ship

How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone

6 reasons why being alone is good for you

The benefits of spending time alone go beyond helping you decompress from a day of overstimulation.

Intentional solitude helps you think more clearly, live more creatively, and feel more confident. Over time, that confidence and comfort in your own company helps you build more meaningful relationships and make new friends more easily.

1. Think for yourself

It’s hard to know what you think when you’re constantly inundated with others’ opinions.

When you spend time alone, you give yourself the mental space to reflect on your life, the world, and what you truly believe without depending on or being influenced by the ideas of others.

And don’t beat yourself up for parroting your neighbor; it’s normal to do so.

In the 1950s, Polish-American social psychologist Solomon Asch conducted a series of conformity experiments where he examined people’s willingness to adopt an obviously incorrect belief due to social pressure. As summarized by EBSCO: “In the end, more than one-third of Asch’s test subjects conformed to the predominant, and incorrect, group answer.”

Over 70 years later, a 2023 replication and extension of the Asch experiment published by PLoS One confirmed the original findings.

Groupthink is a powerful force that few if any of us can evade entirely, but spending some time alone can help.

From menial decisions, like deciding what to wear or what we really think of that new film everyone is talking about, to more grave concerns, like choosing who to vote for or where you stand on the latest political polemic, taking time to separate from your pack, look away from your algorithm, and tune out the voices around you gives you room to ponder, puzzle, and come to your own conclusions based on none other than your moral compass.

Not really sure what you think about the world (or yourself)? Get to know yourself better with these 7 books on self-awareness.

2. Be creative and come up with new ideas

For the same reason I can’t write an original sentence while reading another, I can’t develop a new idea while consuming another.

What I consider one of the most important benefits of solitude is the space it affords you to daydream, experiment, and invent.

The neuroscientists are on my side.

In an interview for Stanford University’s Wu Tsai Neurosciences Institute, cognitive scientist Vinod Menon explains default mode network (DMN) and what happens when we let our minds wander:

“The default mode network is a collection of brain areas that becomes active when we turn our attention inward. And it’s a network that generates your internal mental life, your memories, your sense of who you are, your plans and daydreams, and the ongoing inner narrative that reflects our own individual experiences.”

Importantly, Menon stresses that “one of the key aspects of this system is that it’s actually suppressed during externally focused tension demanding tasks.”

Essentially, when you give your brain a break from the constant stream of external stimuli our modern world subjects it to, it starts connecting ideas, memories, and experiences to lead you to original, creative insights.

Perhaps this is why some of time’s most prolific writers, artists, and other creative minds have been described as recluse or solitary. Their proclivity to spend time alone doesn’t necessarily mean they’re anti-social or introverted but that they recognize it takes pointed time and space alone to think, dream, and create.

Does sitting in your own company feel more stifling than inspiring? You can shift it. Learn how to enjoy your own company (and why it’s so important).

3. Gain more confidence being yourself

Doing things alone has a hideous reputation. “Spend too much time alone,” people fearmonger, “and you’ll become a lonely, depressed, uncivilized hermit.”

A study published in Nature begs to disagree.

During a 21-day experiment, participants totaled how many hours they spent in solitude. The findings were thus:

Solitude doesn’t always lead to loneliness: People were lonelier and less satisfied on days when they spent more time alone, but this effect was reduced or disappeared “when daily solitude was autonomous,” i.e., chosen rather than forced.
It supports a sense of autonomy: On days when people spent more time alone, they reported feeling less stress and greater autonomy satisfaction, feeling “volitional, authentic, and free from pressure.”
There are long-term benefits to spending time alone: The benefits of solitude snowballed over time: “…those who spent more time alone across the span of the study were less stressed and more autonomy satisfied overall”—not lonelier.

More alone time only translates to more loneliness when it’s unwanted. But when you choose to actively spend time alone with yourself, stress goes away and you feel more comfortable and confident being you.

When we’re alone, the default is often to fill that empty space with social media. But imagine the places your imagination could take if you listened to it instead of your algorithm. These are the strategies that helped me learn how to quit social media.

4. Experiment and try new things

No matter how brash or confident one claims to be, trying something new is always tough, especially if you have an audience.

What if you fail? What if you embarrass yourself? What if everyone remembers you for a buffoonish utterance you wish you could take back?

Counterintuitively, it can feel even more nerve-wracking to try new things in front of people we know as opposed to a room full of strangers. If we experiment with reinventing ourselves, be it through new wardrobe choices, a change in social circles, or the simple trying on of a new habit, our inner circle is often the first the notice and interject unwelcome commentary:

“Oh, you’ve changed your hair?” “Is that how you’re dressing now?” “Since when do you read and quote Kerouac?”

Known social circles come with expectations and voices ready to question you if you deviate from the person they know you as.

Another one of the main benefits of solitude is the freedom and nonjudgmental comfort it provides to experiment and try new things. When you’re alone, there’s no audience (or judgment) to trail every experiment. You can try something new, fail, change your mind, and start over without anyone watching.

Research published in Metodo International backs up why being alone is good sometimes:

“Solitude can minimize forms of intrusive self-consciousness by reducing the immediate demands of experiencing oneself as the object of another person’s thoughts and actions. Other studies have shown that people have decreased self-awareness when they are alone.”

In other words, solitude removes the social pressure and fear of public failure that often holds us back from trying new things, giving us the comfort to experiment and reinvent ourselves, sans external noise.

If you’re simply at a loss of how to spend time alone without feeling anxious, lonely, or strange, just take baby steps. Read 5 simple ways to get better at doing things alone so you can start feeling confident and comfortable in your own company.

5. Build more intentional relationships

Ironically, another reason why being alone is good for you is that it helps you develop more intentional, genuine relationships.

When you’re lonely, uncomfortable in your own company, and desperate for companionship, you’re more likely to strike up a relationship with someone just because they’re available.

This goes for both platonic and romantic relationships.

When you don’t have anything to do on Friday night but you feel anxious about staying home alone, you jump at the first invitation that comes along. You go to restaurants you don’t like; you spend money on drinks that don’t fill your cup; and you wake up the next morning feeling tired, like you wasted the evening, and lonelier than ever as you look back on last night’s sour memories.

Chasing romance from a place of loneliness leads to similar if not more disastrous aftereffects.

When you’re not comfortable being single, you jump from partner to partner—not because you’re having fun meeting new people and learning about yourself along the way but because you feel incapable of living alone, making your own decisions, and spending time with just yourself. You prefer to default to someone else and absorb their friends, routines, and habits so you don’t have to sit with yourself, explore what really makes you happy, or put the effort in to build a life of your own choosing. You may have developed a fondness for your partner over time, but it’s based on proximity and convenience, not real connection.

Either way, when you avoid spending time alone with yourself and rush to fill every moment with a social engagement, you rob yourself of the chance to develop more meaningful relationships founded on a true desire to be with that person. Instead, you live your life with people who are simply there.

Do you still feel lonely, even though you’re in a relationship? It’s not necessarily your partner’s fault. Read guest writer Janine Canillas’s personal story on why so many of us feel alone in our relationships (and how to fix it).

6. Make new friends more easily

Everyone wants to make more friends, no matter how grouchy you may pretend to be.

But it’s getting harder.

Our individualist societies are becoming more and more pod-like. A 2025 survey from Pew Research Center shows 16% of all adults “feel lonely or isolated from those around them all or most of the time.” Worryingly, “adults under 50 are more likely than older adults to feel lonely”—not a good sign for the young’uns.

While making friends in school may seem easy, the years following graduation often spell isolation, loneliness, and eventual bitterness for many. If you didn’t find your crew and/or significant other in college, destined are you to search soullessly for your soulmates on an app, it seems.

But there are other ways to make new friends as an adult. You can go to in-real-life meetup events or join local clubs, for example.

The catch is, to turn random people you meet at events into friends, you need the confidence to approach strangers, be the one to text first, and initiate plans—again and again. These steps are much harder to take if you don’t have the ease and self-assurance to go to social events alone and strike up conversations with people you don’t know.

Practicing doing things alone can give you that confidence to make new friends.

Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to learn how to do things alone without feeling lonely so you can make life richer and more connected.

Why intentional solitude is getting harder to come by

In the midst of a global loneliness epidemic, it sounds counterintuitive to champion alone time. But spending time alone with yourself is when we can explore new ideas, fail without judgment, learn about ourselves, and build the confidence to create the life we want for ourselves.

That alone time, however, must be actively chosen and intentionally filled, i.e., no doomscrolling, binge-watching, or otherwise dulling ourselves with external stimulants.

Unfortunately, intentional solitude is getting harder and harder to come by:

The world is always on—and demands we are, too. Notifications are ever present. Work and friends alike pressure us to respond to all communications immediately. Almost no place of business operates without music playing in the background. Seeking silence and solitude is now considered a radical act (if not a selfish one) in a world that is constantly churning, shrieking, and vying for our attention.

Social media is considered a given, not an option. Strangers becoming friends at parties ask for my Instagram instead of my phone number; for many, the idea of existing offline is simply inconceivable. We must engage; we must perform; and we must be public. Otherwise, there’s something off about you.

Being alone is considered something to be feared instead of something to appreciate. You should get on an app and meet a partner; pull out your phone at the bus stop, instead of standing quietly with your thoughts; optimize your free time instead of sitting in boredom. There is so much pressure to constantly move, make, and monetize. Simply existing (and existing just for ourselves) is considered lazy or lame.

We are all alone—and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, so we should stop running from it.

For a philosophical mood lift, explore these quotes about feeling alone to remind yourself that we’re each steering our own ship and are responsible for our own happiness.

Conclusion: the benefits of solitude compound over time

Spending time alone is not an act of isolation or even overt individualism. It is a conscious effort to think for yourself, be more creative, gain more confidence, and try new things.

With the space to think without influence, daydream, experiment, and get to know yourself, you can start becoming the person you want to be. Along the way, building that confidence and comfort in your own company enables you to make friends more easily, build more meaningful relationships, and have an overall more creative, fulfilling, and connected life.

There are many benefits of solitude, but you have to give yourself the chance to sit there.

Next Steps:

Start getting over the embarrassment, anxiety, or self-consciousness of doing things alone. Learn 5 simple ways to get better at doing things alone.

Consider if you even like being with yourself—and why you should. Read 5 reasons why it’s important to learn to enjoy your own company and how to get started.

Practice spending time with just yourself. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge so you can own the power of being alone.

Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.

Why Being Alone Is Good for You: Common FAQs

Is spending time alone good for you?

Yes, spending time alone can be very beneficial—if you do it intentionally. That means actively choosing to spend quality time with yourself rather than filling the silence with scrolling or binge-watching. The benefits of “me time” include learning how to think for yourself, developing a stronger sense of self, and then using that newfound self-confidence to make new friends and build deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Does it seem counterintuitive? Learn why being happy alone can actually help you make new friends.

Why spending time alone is important

Spending time alone is important because it gives you the space to think for yourself, experiment without judgement, and make decisions without outside pressure. Several studies on the psychology of being alone have actually shown that solitude can reduce self-consciousness and help you be more creative.

If you’re not comfortable sitting in solitude, see 5 reasons why it’s important to learn how to enjoy your own company—and how to get started.

Why is being alone good for your mental health?

Being alone can improve your mental health by reducing stress, lowering self-consciousness, and giving you space to feel free from outside pressure.

It’s easier to be happy being alone the more you work at it. When you sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge, you get one week of bite-sized daily challenges to help you practice spending intentional time alone so you can build self confidence, reduce social anxiety, and stop waiting on others to enjoy your life.

Is it healthy to be alone all the time?

Being alone all the time isn’t a good idea. Humans are social creatures, and we need friends, family, and community to feel our best. That said, adding in intentional alone time can help us better understand ourselves and our own needs, values, and patterns of behavior, which actually helps us strengthen our relationships and even make new friends more easily.

Learn why being a loner helps you make new friends, whether you’re moving to a new city or just facing a social dry spell.

Is it bad to prefer to be alone?

No, it’s not bad to prefer solitude. Many people genuinely feel happy being alone and use that time to recharge, reflect, or otherwise recreate. But you want to make sure you’re not isolating yourself or avoiding connection out of fear or anxiety.

If you want to learn how to spend time being alone but not lonely, check out 5 simple strategies to get better at doing things alone.

Can being alone be good for you?

Yes, being alone can be really good for you—when that alone time is intentional and balanced with healthy social interaction. Several studies on the psychology of being alone show that intentional (i.e., chosen) solitude can reduce feelings of stress and pressure and help you be more authentically you.

But fighting distraction, saying no to overstimulation, and truly enjoying spending time alone with yourself isn’t intuitive for everyone. See 5 reasons why it’s important to enjoy your own company—and how to get started.

Why being alone is powerful?

Being alone is very powerful because it forces you to think for yourself, get creative, and make your own decisions without any outside influence. Over time, this intentional solitude helps you become more confident, self-assured, and less likely to be influenced or controlled by others. That’s why people who master being alone and happy can often build stronger relationships.

Do you think you’re running into a relationship because you’re afraid of being alone? It’s a common pattern. This personal essay provides insight on why so many people feel alone in a relationship—and how to course-correct.

Why Being a Loner Helps You Make New Friends

Merry March 3, 2026

When you’re confident and comfortable in your own company, it becomes easier to talk to strangers, reach out first, and make plans repeatedly. That’s what builds friendship, whether you’re moving to a new city or just facing a social dry spell.

We are suffering from a loneliness epidemic. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you.

Depending on whom you talk to, some might even tell you we’re suffering from a male loneliness epidemic, specifically.

Whether we let men claim loneliness as their own personal plight or evaluate the larger spectrum of adult relationships, the present and future states of friendship look bleak:

People are making fewer friends. In 1990, one-third of Americans said they had 10 or more close friends. In 2021, just 13% said the same. Even worse, in 1990, only 3% said they had no friends. In 2021, 12% of Americans said they have no friends, per the Survey Center on American Life.

They’re going to fewer social gatherings. “Only 4.1% of Americans attended or hosted a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023—that’s a 35% drop from 2004, says The Atlantic.

They’re having less sex. “…researchers have become alarmed at declines in sexual activity around the world, from Japan to Europe to Australia,” explains Scientific American.

And this isn’t just a problem with “the kids these days.” Across genders and generations, people everywhere are struggling to make new friends.

In this post, I share four truths on how to make new friends as an adult—and why learning to get confident and comfortable in your own company will actually help you make more friends.

Do you feel lonely doing things by yourself?

It shouldn’t be that way. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to learn how to get more confident doing things alone.

More popular posts on the Loner Mindset:

Quotes About Feeling Alone to Remind Us We’re Each Steering Our Own Ship

How to Enjoy Your Own Company

How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone

What it takes to learn how to make new friends as an adult

Four in ten U.S. adults describe making new friends as “hard” or “very hard,” per a survey from YouGov. I simply don’t agree.

While I concede it takes time, pointed effort, and (let’s be honest) a little patience to make new friends in adulthood, I wouldn’t call it particularly hard. In fact, I find it even easier than making friends in college.

That’s because I’ve accepted four key truths about how to make new friends:

1. To make new friends, you have to meet strangers.

Duh. All friends start out as strangers, which means if you want to make more friends, you have to start talking to more strangers.

I always say that friendship is like dating; it’s a numbers game.

As you search for the people that feel like home, you may go to dozens of meet-ups, parties, or even app-facilitated events. Many of the people you meet there will not become your friends. Most, you will never see more than once or twice. Some you may see a few times on “friend dates” until you run out of things to say to each other and the lack of chemistry causes your outings to fizzle out.

But you don’t need 20 new friends right now. You just need a few close friends to make life better. And the more strangers you meet and mingle with, the greater your chances of finding those few close friends.

Not confident going to meet-ups and mingling with strangers?

It takes practice getting comfortable trying new things on your own. A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge helps you own the power of being alone so meeting new people is easier and less daunting.

2. To make new friends, you have to reach out first.

Again, this sounds pathetically obvious, but really, this is where most people trip up when trying to make new friends in adulthood.

Simply exchanging numbers with someone is not enough to turn them into the kind of friend you laugh until you cry with, share embarrassing stories with, and keep in your inner circle for years to come. You have to build up to that—one “friend date” at a time.

That requires making plans. As with most things in life, the hardest part is getting started.

—

What happens when you don’t make the first move

Imagine Jill, a young working professional who is having a hard time figuring out how to make friends in a new city.

She goes to a meet-up event and has a jolly time enjoying a few drinks while mingling with strangers. She has a particularly interesting conversation with two women who, like her, love going to yoga class; the three even decide to exchange phone numbers. Everyone smiles and says they look forward to seeing each other soon.

Then everyone returns to their respective homes… And they never speak again.

Why? Because each person is waiting for someone else to reach out. Each feels that if the other person doesn’t contact them, then they aren’t really interested in becoming friends.

In the end, nobody contacts anybody. What were once promising seeds of a beautiful friendship (or at least a very pleasant acquaintance, as we need those to be happy, too) die before they even get a chance to be planted.

—

This is where most people make a mistake when trying to make new friends.

They believe making new friends after college is impossible: “I’m going to the events. I’m mingling with strangers. I’m exchanging numbers. But it doesn’t work. I never make new friends there.”

They’re forgetting a crucial step: To turn strangers into friends, you have to have the courage to text first.

Find yourself scrolling social media more often than you spend time socializing?

That’s a fast-track to feeling lonely, depressed, and isolated. Try these 5 strategies to quit social media to start reclaiming your time (and your sanity) from Big Tech.

3. To make new friends, you have to make plans, repeatedly

How can you turn an acquaintance into a new friend? Repeated, regular contact.

Let’s say Jill does have the courage to send the first text. She and Allison meet for coffee and go to a yoga class together and generally have a grand, old time.

That’s still not enough to become friends. After all, you don’t make friends from one conversation. You make new friends from repeated, consistent interactions over time.

—

Why does it feel so easy to make new friends in college (and so hard in adulthood?

When you’re in college, you’re forced to spend time with the same people, day in and day out.

Maybe it’s your roommate or someone with whom you share a few classes. You might not even like each other at first, but after several months of prolonged exposure, overlapping experiences, and obligatory small talk via group projects or mutual acquaintances, you begin to form a bond.

That’s when friendship starts to take shape.

Not with everyone, of course. We still have personalities. You’ll hit it off with some people more easily than others; some, not at all.

But without spending any time together, how can you ever have the chance to hit it off?

After college, when we’re no longer living in artificial communities where the larger population has more or less the same lifestyle, it’s much harder to repeatedly see the same people every day (at least without our own doing).

—

We have to create these repeated, consistent interactions ourselves by taking the initiative to make plans—over and over again. Like this:

A few days after meeting someone new, invite them out for coffee.
If getting coffee was fun, tell them so afterwards. Then invite them to dinner a week later.
If things are still going well, invite them over later in the month for drinks with a few other potential friends.

By this point, if things actually are going well and you both enjoy spending time together, the seeds of friendship will naturally begin to germinate. But it takes effort to get the ball rolling.

You don’t make friends from one conversation. You make new friends from repeated, consistent interactions over time.

Moving to a new city and feeling lonely is a feeling too many people are familiar with.

Read guest writer Gavin Willima’s personal essay on moving to a new city in his thirties and what unexpected change he made to overcome loneliness.

4. To make new friends, you have to separate yourself from your pack.

One of the easiest ways to make new friends is to meet friends of friends and let things snowball from there. This way, you don’t have to go out and meet strangers, build up the courage to text first, or even initiate regular meet-ups.

But sometimes, your friends can actually hold you back.

When you’re constantly surrounded by people you already know, you live in a safe, familiar bubble—which severely limits your opportunities to try new things and meet new people.

I’m no stranger to this familiarity trap, and I’ve observed it plenty in others, as well. Imagine:

You go to a party with one or two of your best friends. Instead of mingling with anyone new and talking with them beyond a few initial pleasantries, you spend the entire evening in the corner absorbed in conversations with your best friends.

On its own, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this; spending time with friends is obviously one of the greater joys of life. But if you’re trying to figure out how to make new friends, this approach isn’t going to help you.

By over-relying on your existing friends and using them as a security blanket with which to navigate new social situations, you limit your exposure to new people and, thus, many opportunities to make new friends.

Are you afraid to step out of your comfort zone?

It’s hard to know if you don’t really know yourself. Check out these 7 books on self-awareness to help you learn more about who you are.

Why it’s easier to make new friends when you’re confident and comfortable in your own company

When we’re young, making new friends is as natural as asking your kindergarten peer, “Do you want to be my best friend?”

In high school, the friendship-building experience is easy for some, brutal for others. In college, social interactions tend to get easier for most. By adulthood, however, the ease with which we make friends seems to vanish, as evidenced by a study from the Survey Center on American Life that reveals those who don’t go to college have noticeably smaller social networks than those who do.

The solution to learning how to make new friends in adulthood isn’t downloading more apps or going to more meet-ups. These moves can be helpful, but they’re only one part of the equation.

Instead, making new friends starts with getting comfortable being alone. Here’s why:

It’s easier to meet (and talk to) strangers

Meeting strangers is nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing, and downright scary for a lot of people. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that 12% of U.S. adults (that’s about 41 million people) have experienced some social anxiety disorder at at least one point in their lives.

But you have to meet people you don’t know in order to make new friends. And it’s a lot easier to talk to strangers if you’re confident and comfortable with yourself.

It’s less nerve-wracking to reach out first.

To turn a stranger into a known, trusted friend, you have to see them over and over again. That doesn’t happen by itself. Someone has to step up to the plate and reach out first. And because we’re adults taking control of our own lives, that “someone” is you.

It’s much easier to send that first text (and not stress about the slowness or lack of a response) when you’re already confident, comfortable, and content with who you are.

Without healthy self-esteem to begin with, you’re much more vulnerable to ghosting or rejection (which are inevitable parts of life, no matter how great we are).

It’s more natural to make plans, again and again.

After you’ve built up the courage to put yourself out there and send the first text, you probably haven’t made a new friend yet. It takes more than one coffee to develop a relationship—which means sending those texts over and over again to invite people for dinner, wish them happy birthday, or suggest a weekend party.

It’s hard to remember to make plans if you’re not playing an active role in your own life, like waiting to be invited to events or just generally waiting for life to “happen” to you.

But if you are a confident, engaged character in your own life, then hosting a dinner party, taking day trips, or planning other activities where you can invite other people to join you is as natural as waking up in the morning.

It’s not scary to try new things alone.

You can’t try new things and meet new people if you’re too busy talking to those you already know.

But leaving behind your social security blanket is hard to do if you don’t have the confidence to step out of your comfort zone, put yourself in different situations, and try new things on your own.

Conclusion: Learning how to make new friends starts with you alone

A common gripe of the modern era (right up there with skyrocketing housing prices and job instability) is the ongoing friendship recession. People are lonely, lacking community, and unsure how to develop close ties after school.

The answer is not downloading another app or texting your ex in hopes of rejoining your old friend group.

Making new friends starts with you.

By learning to get confident and comfortable in your own company, it’ll be easier to meet and talk to strangers, initiate plans, and make new friends, whether you’re moving to a new city or just facing a social dry spell.

Friends are undeniably one of the treasures that makes life worth living, but don’t forget that creating a life you love starts with you.

Next Steps:

Sign up to attend one event this month. You can use tools like Creative Lunch, Meetup, or Facebook groups to find events near you.

Text one acquaintance already in your contacts. Don’t overthink it. A simple, “How’s it going? Want to grab a coffee this week?” can go far.

Remind yourself that you’re steering your own ship. If you’re feeling lonely, check out these quotes on feeling alone to remember that the cure for loneliness must come from you.

Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.

How to Make New Friends: Common FAQs

How to make new friends

It’s simple: talk to strangers; then talk to them again and again until they become friends.

But that requires putting yourself in new environments where you can meet strangers and then reaching out first to make plans—both things that are difficult if you lack self-confidence.

Read How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone to learn how to find confidence and comfort in your own company.

Why is it so hard to figure out how to make new friends as an adult?

School forces us to spend time with the same people over and over again, naturally setting the stage for long-term friendships. But when you’re on your own as an adult, you have to take the initiative.

That means pushing yourself outside your comfort zone and building up the courage to reach out first.

It gets easier with practice, though. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to learn how to get more confident and comfortable trying new things (like talking to strangers) by yourself.

How to make new friends in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s?

Whether you’re fresh out of college or beginning to think about retirement, the same four truths about making new friends apply.

To make new friends, you have to: 1) meet strangers; 2) reach out first; 3) make plans, repeatedly; 4) step outside of your known friend group.

All of these steps are easier when you’re already confident and comfortable trying new things alone. If you’re not there yet, try these four ways to learn how to enjoy your own company.

Where can I make new friends as an adult?

To make new friends, you have to do four things: 1) meet new people; 2) invite those new people to hang out; 3) keep inviting them to hang out; 4) give yourself permission to meet new people without your friends keeping you company.

You can start by meeting new people online from events organized by Creative Lunch, Meetup, or Facebook groups. If you’re really confident trying new things on your own, you can meet new people by joining clubs, going to the gym, volunteering, signing up for co-working spaces, etc.

Not confident showing up to new events by yourself? Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to get confident and comfortable in your own company so you can get out there, meet new people, and make new friends.

Merry

Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

Quotes About Feeling Alone to Remind Us We’re Each Steering Our Own Ship

Merry January 30, 2026

Consider these quotes a chance to rub shoulders with unmet kindred spirits.

It’s really impossible to avoid. No matter how many friends we have, how cherished we feel by our family, or the current state of our romantic entanglements, at the end of the day, we are all on our own.

Being alone is something we can’t escape, though many people try.

In moments of quiet, they rush to the screen to fill the void, staring at Reels that don’t interest them but are simply there.

Or they swipe through dating apps, not really with any intention of meeting someone. But it’s something to fill the time; to pique the curiosity; to busy the fingers; to attempt to assess our own appearance, status, and social standing by seeing how we stack up against the other fish in the sea.

Others choose to wallow, to lament their solitude and what they perceive as their unique suffering: “No one understands my grief, my troubles, my depression, my demons.”

But they do.

Perhaps not everyone. It’s unlikely that every soul you cross is a long-lost kindred spirit who can understand your intimate yearnings and despair with nary a glance. After all, those are your crosses to bear; they have theirs.

But in recognizing that each of us is lost on our individual paths, searching for meaning and something to give substance to the confusing series of events we call life, we can find a comfort.

That comfort is knowing we are all lost and alone and swimming through the dark. But every now and then, we brush fingers with a passing swimmer and are reminded that, though we may be paddling alone, floundering and thrashing, we are all together in the same ocean, fighting against the same currents, trying our best to stay afloat.

Consider these quotes a chance to rub shoulders with unmet kindred spirits. They may not share your exact troubles, but they can understand the pain.

Still feeling lonely? The cure for loneliness doesn’t come from others; it comes from within.

If you want to learn how to get comfortable being alone in your own company, join A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge.

The shortlist: 42 quotes about feeling alone to make you feel less lonely

8 quotes about feeling alone in life — to help you get more comfortable in solitude

4 quotes about feeling alone and unwanted — to help you find self-worth in alone time

4 quotes about feeling alone and lost — to remind you that the way forward is by charting your own path, not following others’.

5 quotes about feeling alone in a relationsip — to remind you that solitude is not something to be rescued from

5 quotes about feeling alone in a crowd — to remind you that the cure for loneliness must come from you

3 quotes about feeling alone and depressed — to remember that sadness is a part of the human condition and is always surmountable

6 short quotes about feeling alone — to teach you that alone time isn’t punishment

7 inspirational quotes about feeling alone — to remind you that solitude is not only worthwhile but necessary

More popular posts on the Loner Mindset:

How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone

How to Enjoy Your Own Company

Feeling Alone in a Relationship? It’s Not Always About the Other Person

Quotes about feeling alone in life

There’s no point in trying to run away from loneliness; it is a part of life.

When you learn to not fear solitude but embrace the time and space it gives you to think deeply and experiment freely, then you’ve found the key to a more peaceful life.

Test the waters of spending time alone with these six quotes about feeling alone in life:

1. “All great and precious things are lonely.”

Speaker: John Steinbeck, American writer (1902—1968)

2. “We live as we dream: alone....”

Speaker: Joseph Conrad, Polish-British novelist (1857—1924)

3. “If one's different, one's bound to be lonely.”

Speaker: Aldous Huxley, English writer and philosopher (1894—1963)

4. “Loneliness is and always has been the central and inevitable experience of every man.”

Speaker: Thomas Wolfe, American writer (1900—1938)

5. “ Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.”

Speaker: Janet Fitch, American author (1955—)

6. “Loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself.”

Speaker: Rupi Kaur, Indian-Canadian poet, illustrator, photographer, and author (1992—)

7. “That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”

Speaker: F. Scott Fitzgerald, American novelist, essayist, and short story writer (1896—1940)

8. “She was beautiful, in the quiet way that lonely, unnoticed people are beautiful to those who notice them.”

Speaker: Jedediah Berry, American writer (1977—)

Want to do more soul-searching than short quotes on feeling alone can provide?

Explore these five Books on Existential Dread, including novels, poetry, and philosophical writings, to probe your inner thinker.

Quotes about feeling alone and unwanted

We often view solitude, not as something we’ve chosen, but as something that has happened to us. If we are alone, it means we have been rejected; we have been left out; nobody wants to love us or hold us.

But that’s not true. Solitude is not a curse foisted upon us but the very place where we can most be ourselves. Learn to find self-respect and self-worth in your alone time, and you will no longer fear the quiet days.

Get inspired with these 4 quotes about feeling alone and sad:

1. “For fear you will be alone, you do so many things that aren’t you at all.”

Speaker: Richard Brautigan, American novelist, poet, and short story writer (1935—1984)

2. “If you feel unwanted or unappreciated where you are or by those you're with, it only means you're in the wrong place or with the wrong people. Hang in there. Someone else will see you for the true gift you are.”

Speaker: L.K. Hunsaker, American writer (unknown)

3. “I feel profoundly alone, cut off, unattractive…I feel unloveable. But I respect that unloveable soldier—struggling to survive, struggling to be honest, just, honourable. I respect myself.”

Speaker: Susan Sontag, American writer and critic (1933—2004)

4. “I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.”

Speaker: Warsan Shire, British writer, poet, teacher (1988—)

When we feel unwanted by people, we often cushion the blow by wanting material things.

“Once I have these things, then I will be better,” we tell ourselves. “And then I can be loved.”

Don’t be tricked into thinking material goods can take away your loneliness.

Read How to Stop Wanting Things to finally stop trying to fill the void.

Quotes about feeling alone and lost

It’s a natural default to turn to others for guidance.

Surely, others know more than we do. We may not know the details of their lives, their inner turmoil, or their own shortcomings, but from the outside, they seem to be doing much better than we.

So we try to copy them.

This is a mistake and one we are more likely to make when feeling alone, lost, or unsure of what to do next.

Read these 4 quotes about feeling alone and lost to remind yourself that the way forward is by charting your own path, not following another’s:

1. “Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.”

Speaker: Douglas Coupland, Canadian novelist, designer and visual artist (1961—)

2. “God, but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of 'parties' with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear. And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter—they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship—but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.”

Speaker: Sylvia Plath, American poet and author (1932—1963)

3. “If you don't like the scene you're in, if you're unhappy, if you're lonely, if you don't feel that things are happening, change your scene. Paint a new backdrop.”

Speaker: Leo Buscaglia, American writer, motivational speaker, and professor (1924—1998)

4. “But you can vanquish the demons only when you yourself are convinced of your own worth.”

Speaker: Adeline Yen Mah, Chinese-American author and physician (1937–)

Moving is a major cause of loneliness.

When we step away from familiar surroundings, we sometimes feel like we’re stepping away from our own identity: “Who am I without these people, these places, these things I recognize?”

But wherever you go, you are still there. You still have you.

Read Moving to a New City in Your 30s—Feeling Lonely in Your “Prime” for a true story of searching for fulfillment in new places, only to realize that home and contentment were always within.

Quotes about feeling alone in a relationship

It’s a common misconception that the easiest way out of loneliness is to tie yourself to someone else.

But relationships, whether romantic or familial or platonic, cannot stop us from feeling lonely if we aren’t at peace with ourselves. Actually, getting tangled up in a romantic affair with someone who is merely there to fill the space is a surefire way to feel even more lost, misunderstood, and alone.

These five quotes about feeling alone in a relationship remind us that solitude is not something to be rescued from:

1. "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

Speaker: Robin Williams, American actor and comedian (1951—2014)

2. “It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.”

Speaker: George Washington, a Founding Father and first president of the USA (1732—1799)

3. “People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.”

Speaker: Kim Culbertson, American author (unknown)

4. “I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”

Speaker: Hunter S. Thompson, American journalist and author (1937—2005)

5. “Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best thing you can do it know yourself... know what you want.”

Speaker: Janet Fitch, American author (1955—)

What is the real reason so many people feel alone in their relationship?

It’s not their partner’s fault. It’s their own. Read why loneliness in a relationship isn’t always a shared responsibility.

Quotes about feeling alone in a crowd

People do not guarantee connection or understanding or fulfillment. Surrounding ourselves with others can give us a preliminary, surface-level validation: “People like me. I must have value.”

But when we rely on others for validation, our self-worth becomes as fickle as their attention.

Here are five quotes about feeling alone in a crowd to remind you that the cure for loneliness must come from you:

1. “When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don't feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.”

Speaker: Fiona Apple, American singer-songwriter (1977—)

2. “We are all alone in this world; even in a crowd.”

Speaker: Kenneth G. Eade, American attorney, political activist, and author (1957—)

3. “People empty me. I have to get away to refill.”

Speaker: Charles Bukowski, German-American poet, novelist, and short story writer (1920—1994)

4. “A crowd is not company.”

Speaker: Seneca the Younger, Stoic philosopher (4 BC—AD 65)

5. “Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”

Speaker: Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist, psychotherapist, psychologist (1875—1961)

Likes, comments, follows, and subscribers cannot cure loneliness.

They may provide a tingle. They may spark a little joy. They may stroke the ego. But when those sensations evaporate, we’re often left feeling more hollow and hungry for validation than ever before.

Stop the chase. Learn How to Quit Social Media and find 30+ ideas to replace the urge to scroll—morning, noon, and night.

Quotes about feeling alone and depressed

Depression is not something to take lightly, to meme-ify, or to self-diagnose. It is serious suffering that impedes and impairs.

If you or someone you know needs help in the USA, you can call or text 988 or chat at www.988lifeline.org.

If you merely need a few moments to remember that sadness is a part of the human condition and is always surmountable, find comfort in these three quotes about feeling alone and depressed to know others share your plight:

1. “There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”

Speaker: Laurell K. Hamilton, American fantasy and romance writer (1963—)

2. “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

Speaker: John Milton, English poet, polemicist, and civil servant (1608—1674)

3. “What people never understand is that depression isn’t about the outside; it’s about the inside.”

Speaker: Jasmine Warga, American children’s and YA book author (1988—)

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but: There is no end to sadness in life.

That doesn’t mean life can’t also be joyous and buoyant and celebratory.

Learning to accept the bad with the good can help us enjoy the good moments even more and remember that the bad, no matter how all-encompassing it may now feel, will at some point, also be behind us.

Read “Life Is Sad and Then You Die.” Why this is the motto that will bring you peace.

Short quotes about feeling alone

Alone time isn’t a punishment. It’s where thinking, reflecting, and resting happen.

But we’ve been conditioned to see alone time as embarrassing, selfish, or even shameful. Let these six short quotes about feeling alone change your mind:

1. "If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.”

Speaker: Andy Rooney, American radio and television presenter (1919—2011)

2. “If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.”

Speaker: Paulo Coelho de Souza, Brazilian lyricist and novelist (1947–)

3. “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.”

Speaker: Wayne Dyer, American self-help author (1940—2015)

4. “Solitude makes it possible for us to literally enjoy ourselves.”

Speaker: Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African author and philosopher (1985—2023)

5. “If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.”

Speaker: Jean-Paul Sartre, French philosopher, playwright, novelist, screenwriter, political activist, biographer, and literary critic (1905—1980)

6. “The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.”

Speaker: Mark Twain, American writer, humorist, and essayist (1835—1910)

Do you feel embarrassed doing things alone? Selfish for taking time for yourself? Or ashamed to be without a partner?

Solitude isn’t shameful. It’s where peace is found and creativity is born.

Learn how to reclaim your solitude and find peace doing things alone with A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge.

Inspirational quotes about feeling alone

Spending time alone can certainly feel lonely. It’s no secret that we are social beings who crave connection, compassion, and community. But that doesn’t mean solitude has to be a punishment.

We should never let ourselves reach the point where we are so desperate for external validation that self-appreciation becomes worthless.

Let these seven inspirational quotes about feeling alone remind you that solitude is not only worthwhile but necessary:

1. “In the middle of winter, I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer.”

Speaker: Albert Camus, French philosopher, novelist, author, journalist, and political activist (1913—1960)

2. “When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”

Speaker: Elizabeth Gilbert, American journalist and author (1969—)

3. “A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.”

Speaker: Mandy Hale, American blogger (unknown)

4. “Someday you’re gonna be all alone, so you need to figure out how to take care of yourself.”

Speaker: “The Queen’s Gambit,” American miniseries (2020)

5. “Even in the loneliest moments I have been there for myself.”

Speaker: Sanober Khan, Mumbai-based poet and writer (unknown)

7. “It’s easy to stand in the crowd but it takes courage to stand alone.”

Speaker: Mahatma Gandhi, Indian lawyer, anti-colonial nationalist, and political ethicist (1869—1948)

Are you afraid of being alone?

Afraid of turning into a spinster? Being a forever bachelor? Being friendless. Childless. All descriptors we’ve accidentally made synonymous with “worthless.”

Learn why being alone isn’t only not something to be afraid of—it’s the key to happiness.

Conclusion: Quotes of feeling alone remind us we are the only constant in our own lives

Loneliness is unavoidable. Just consider how individual and unique every human being is.

How can we expect others to understand (or even be aware of) the intricacies of each year of our lives that laced together have made us who we are today? They cannot.

This does not mean we cannot experience profound connection or camaraderie or closeness with others. These moments are necessary to the human experience and should also be prioritized.

But as we bond and grow with others, we must never lose the bond we maintain with ourselves. The bond we can only cultivate when we are alone.

This is not a call to shun community or to isolate. But when lonely moments do arrive, don’t rush to fill them with external stimuli. Let yourself steep in them.

For as the years go by, life is made up of many moments of solitude. How will you fill yours?

Next Steps:

Practice spending time alone—without using external stimuli to numb yourself. Join A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge for daily exercises to teach you how to find comfort in your own company.

Scale back the strange voices you let in. It’s hard to get to know yourself and listen to your intuition when you’re constantly consuming ads, videos, and other people’s ambitions. But you don’t have to let them in. Learn How to Quit Social Media to reclaim your time and sanity.

Give yourself permission to spend time with yourself. It isn’t selfish, embarrassing, or shameful. See 5 reasons why it’s important to learn to enjoy your own company.

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Quotes About Feeling Alone: Common FAQs

What are some quotes to read when you’re feeling alone?

One quote from Joseph Conrad, Polish-British novelist comes to mind: “We live as we dream: alone.”

For deeper musings on feeling alone in a turbulent world, crack open Books for Existential Dread.

What are the best quotes about loneliness?

My favorite author, F. Scott Fitzgerald, said: “That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longers are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”

Read seven more quotes about feeling alone in life for a new perspective on loneliness.

Is there a quote about love and feeling lonely?

British writer, poet, and teacher Warsan Shire shares a poignant one: “I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.”

See four more quotes about feeling alone and unwanted to help you feel less lonely in love.

What are some quotes on finding happiness in loneliness?

“In the middle of winter, I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer,” said French philosopher, Albert Camus.

Get more perspectives on finding peace in solitude with six more inspirational quotes about feeling alone.

Merry

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

Books on Traveling Alone to Feed Your Wanderlust

Merry January 23, 2026

Stories to push you forward.

For those born with an innate sense of wanderlust, it can be difficult to imagine there are others who don’t share the same yearning to move. But for some, traveling isn’t a series of glittering memories. When prompted to pack a suitcase and brave the rails, road, or sky, be it across the world or a stone’s throw away, they see not picturesque walks along riverbanks, new aromas wafting their way, or foreign tongues catching their ears. They see long queues, packing restrictions, and suffocating crowds. Above all, they see the unknown.

The idea of traveling alone can be even more jarring. Still, even if you’re afraid of traveling alone, you might feel a quiet stirring within to test yourself and see how far you can go, both on the map and in your mind. Doing so requires quieting the anxieties bubbling beneath the surface and turning your attention to the voice of optimism pushing you forward. These books will feed that voice.

The shortlist: 4 books on traveling alone to feed your wanderlust

Instructions for Traveling West — for encouragement when travels are difficult
Wild — for courage to push yourself out of your comfort zone
The Barbizon — for inspiration to chase a dream
Roundabout to Moscow — for a reminder to always stay curious

4 books about traveling alone to inspire your next trip

The clichés of traveling are true, I fear. It, quite literally, expands your horizons and pushes you past the geography, language, and culture that have contained and shaped you. You meet new people, smell new smells, savor (or spit out) new tastes, and learn that the world and its inhabitants, customs, and philosophies are far more numerous than that which you’ve encountered—or will ever. For no matter how many flights we board or rails we cross, we simply can’t see everything, leaving many lessons unlearned and stories unread.

All this to say, traveling is always worth the effort because we always return home with a new perspective about ourselves, the world, and everything we thought we knew. If you’ve never traveled alone before and you’re hesitant to try, let these stories inspire you.

1. “Instructions for Traveling West: Poems” by Joy Sullivan

About the author: Joy Sullivan (unknown) is a poet and educator. She was the poet-in-residence for the Wexner Center for the Arts and has guest-lectured at Stanford, Florida State University, and other institutions. She now leads writing workshops and writes the newsletter, Necessary Salt.

I love this book so much that I no longer own it. I gave it to a friend last year who had recently moved into a new apartment in a new city by herself. I hoped it would give her the same balm it did me. Written by Joy Sullivan during the pandemic, this collection of poems recounts the emotional aftermath of leaving: getting a divorce; quitting one’s job; moving across the country.

As in solo travel, there’s loneliness in leaving. But loneliness is the necessary precursor to self-discovery, growth, and paths towards greater things:

“First, you must realize you’re homesick for all the lives you’re not living. Then, you must commit to the road and the rising loneliness. To the sincere thrill of coming apart.”
— from “Instructions for Traveling West” by Joy Sullivan

During your solo travels, there will likely be moments where you feel you’re “coming apart.” That means you’re on the road to somewhere worthwhile. Keep trekking.

This book is top-tier on my bookshelf. I’ve also included it among my recommendations for Books for Existential Dread, Books You Can Read in a Day, and Poems About New Beginnings for When You Need to Start Again, because when you’re short on strength and need respite fast, poetry is an always reliable cure.

2. “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed

About the author: Cheryl Strayed (1968—) is an American writer and podcast host. In addition to “Wild,” she’s written two nonfiction books, “Tiny Beautiful Things” and “Brave Enough,” and one novel, “Torch.”

A sensation of the 2010s, Cheryl Strayed’s memoir also lives on in a 2014 film adaptation, in which Reese Witherspoon portrays the author’s daring quest to hike 1,000+ miles of the Pacific Crest Trail — without training, guidance, or companionship. It’s another poignant memoir that gives credence to the cliché: Particularly in periods of transition when what we thought were constants in our lives begin to give way, voluntarily displacing ourselves (however temporarily) is sometimes the only way to regain balance and rediscover ourselves. Or as is blithely summarized in small talk at parties, “Solo travel helped me find myself.”

The loss of a parent and the end of a marriage are likely more relatable to a middle-aged audience, but younger readers can also find comfort in Strayed’s story as a reminder that the power to redesign your life and start anew is always within you. The presence (or absence) of others, though, can be a powerful force and, in some cases, the deciding factor of how we live our lives. Read How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone for proddings to regain your independence and stop waiting on other people’s permission to live your life.

3. “The Barbizon: The Hotel That Set Women Free” by Paulina Bren

About the author: Paulina Bren (1966—) is an American writer, historian, and Adjunct Professor of Multidisciplinary Studies on the Pittsburgh Endowment Chair in the Humanities at Vassar College. Born in Brno, Czechoslovakia, her early work focused on postwar Europe. In recent years, she’s turned her attention to women’s history. In 2024, she wrote “She-Wolves: The Untold History of Women on Wall Street.“

This book tells the story of a different kind of solo travel. Not one of visiting foreign lands for cultural or self-discovery but to begin a new life — and leave an old one behind. In “The Barbizon,” Paulina Bren tells the history of the Barbizon Hotel and its evolution from a respectable women’s boarding house to “the go-to destination for any young American woman with a dream to be something more.” Up until its closure in 1981, the women’s-only hotel hosted was a temporary home to “young women with artistic aspirations,” including names such as Sylvia Plath, Joan Didion, Grace Kelly, and Betsey Johnson.

The most courageous solo trip one can take is with a one-way ticket, leaving behind all that is familiar for the promise of a better life. Though your next (or first) solo trip may include a return ticket, the stories of the young women who journeyed to The Barbizon are an inspiring reminder to take risks, move outside your comfort zone, and actively pursue becoming the person you want to be.

Are you the person you want to be? Learning about who we are (and who we want to become) is a never-ending journey, but it helps to know where you’re starting from. These books on self-awareness can help you meet yourself.

4. “Roundabout to Moscow an Epicurean Journey” by John Bell Bouton

About the author: John Bell Bouton (1830—1902) was an American newspaper editor, journalist, and author. He also published a novel exploring male friendship, “Round the Block: An American Novel.“

Published in 1887, this travelogue captures John Bell Bouton’s journey to Russia and his experiences of new-to-him cuisine, landscapes, and people.

Without the ease of modern technologies that make it easy to feel at home even when we’re on the other side of the world, it goes without saying that traveling (and traveling alone) in the 19th century was an altogether different kind of experience than we know today. Still, Bouton’s reflections remain relatable as they underscore one of the timeless benefits of traveling alone: freedom to let our curiosity lead us. Like “Instructions for Traveling West,” “Wild,” and “The Barbizon,” this solo travel book focuses not on destinations but on the desires to begin traveling and the many complications and delights encountered along the way.

It’s much easier to let your own curiosity guide your travels when you’re not constantly tned into the voices of others. Getting off social media (or at least reducing your time spent staring into the void) makes a big difference. Learn How to Quit Social Media, without deleting your accounts, to turn your focus from algorithms to the real world.

Books on solo travel — my top pick

Poetry is always a good idea. Maybe you’re contemplating a cross-country road trip or a spontaneous trek to the other side of the world. Perhaps you just need a change of scenery, and a cozy weekend alone in the next over will do. Joy Sullivan’s poems can help you tune into heart’s yearnings so your feet can lead you where your soul needs to go.

Books on traveling alone remind us of what is possible

There’s something inherently stirring about the open road. When we move beyond our known territories (even just for a weekend), we allow ourselves to move into new ways of thinking and consider different realities. For embarking on the open road alone is as much a journey within as it is outward, giving you the chance to explore not only different tastes, sights, and sounds but different vesions of yourself.

When travel feels out of reach, overwhelming, or otherwise unmanageable, books on traveling alone remind us that it’s never too late to begin the journey. We need only the courage to take the first step forward.

Next Steps:

Choose the first book that piques your interest. Don’t overthink it (and don’t put it off and keep scrolling). Not sure where to start. Just read a few pages to start. Joy Sullivan’s “Instructions for Traveling West” is short but powerful reading.

Pick a day your next (or first) solo trip. It doesn’t have to be far to be worthwhile. Why not take a day trip to a neighboring town where you don’t know anyone and the streets are unusual?

If you’ve never traveled alone before, practice doing things alone first in a place you feel comfortable in. A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge guides you through a week of bite-sized challenges to get more comfortabel (and confident) doing things alone without feeling lonely.

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Books on Traveling Alone: FAQs

What are some good travel books to invoke wanderlust?

“Roundabout to Moscow” by John Bell Bouton is a 19th-century travelogue that inspires dreamy fantasies of crossing Europe by train. If you’re tired of RyanAir and crowded airports and want a slower, more romantic way to travel, start here.

What are the most inspirational books on traveling that you have read?

Cheryl Strayed’s “Wild” tells the tale of a recent divorcée who sets off to hike 1,000+ miles of the Pacific Crest Trail alone. It’s an inspiring story of challenging yourself, quite literally moving outside of your comfort zone, and finding it in you to anew when life comes undone.

What is the best book you have read which has inspired you to travel and live abroad?

“The Barbizon” by Paulina Bren isn’t a modern memoir on becoming a digital nomad or bacpacking around the world. But in my eyes, it does much more to incite solo travel and inspire you to leave what you know a build the life you’ve been dreaming of.

What are some good books to read while travelling?

While traveling alone, I suggest bringing along Joy Sullivan’s collection of poems, “Instructions for Traveling West.” Compared to a dense novel, it’s easy to start or end each day of your journey by reading one poem—and her verses on “commit[ting] to the road” and “the sincere thrill of coming apart” will help you stay the course even when things get tough.