February isn’t just for lovers—it’s for loners, too.

Ah, Valentine’s Day. Yet another day manipulated by modern man to make us feel bad about ourselves or spend too much money on crap we don’t need. (Or both.)

And believe it or not, I’m a romantic!

I won’t be celebrating Valentine’s Day this year. Not because I’m single. Not because I’m lonely. But really, I just don’t care. My husband and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, nor do we celebrate our anniversary. We just celebrate life together.

Don’t worry—this is not a self-righteous speech on my rejection of commercialism, over-consumption, or materialism. (That’s here. And here.) I get it. People like to have fun! And sometimes in our spiraling world of moral decay, greed, and unspeakable political debauchery, clinging to these rosy, Hallmark holidays is all we have.

If that’s what you’re into, then I warmly raise my glass to you, and I want to make sure you have a seat at the table.

Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be reserved for the kinds of people who post picture-perfect, candlelit dinners on Instagram—and then fight on the way home from the restaurant. Nor should it be reserved for couples who are actually, truly, honest-to-goodness in love. (Don’t they have enough as it is?)

If you’re starry-eyed, gooey-hearted, Taylor-Swift-encoded, and all-around gaga for the Big Grand Day of Love, then you should also partake—no matter what box you’re checking on your taxes just 60 days later.

By the way, let’s not be confused: Being a Loner doesn’t necessarily mean you’re single. After all, Loners aren’t anti-social. Loners don’t lack companionship. And (above all), Loners aren’t lonely. They just know how to find value in their own company.

• So maybe you’re single this year.
• Maybe you’re in a relationship, but your partner isn’t so hot on Valentine’s Day.
• Maybe you want to have fun, but you’re not really into the whole Galentine’s Day thing—or you don’t have a good group of girlfriends at the moment to celebrate with.

No matter your situation, sometimes the best Valentine’s Day gift you can receive is from yourself: a night dedicated to nothing but your own interests.

If the latest rom-com doesn’t enthuse you, let’s look beyond the stereotypical ideas for spending Valentine’s Day alone. Instead, here are six rejuvenating (non-cringey) ways to celebrate a Loner’s Valentine’s Day:

Related Posts:

• No Date? No Problem—A Guide to Dating Yourself in 2025
• 5 New Things I Want to Do Alone This Year
• Embrace Being a Loner—Why February Is the Perfect Time

1. Write love letters to your friends

Is there anything more romantic these days than receiving a letter in the mail?

I can’t be the only one dreaming about living a more analog life, and taking your best friends’ text conversations from the digital to the tactile is a perfect solo Valentine’s Day activity to give yourself (and your relationships) a break from screen time.

Sure, you could also plan a Valentine’s Day video chat with a long-distance friend—but wouldn’t a surprise, handwritten, made-with-love-in-every-syllable letter brighten their day just a little bit more?

To elevate your evening of correspondence even more, first take your time to meander through your local stationary shop to hand-pick calligraphy pens, glitter markers, stickers (paint? ribbon? stencils?), and as much crafty goodness as your heart desires to create a letter that truly surprises and delights.

2. Indulge in a bubble bath and wine

Insert that ubiquitous Julia Roberts meme here. Need I say more?

Surely, you need no convincing that a bubble bath is the salve to all the world’s ailments? A broken heart. Cold toes. Bored Sunday afternoons. And a Loner’s Valentine’s Day is no exception.

Growing up, my mom would always reference this 1978 commercial where an overwhelmed, overstimulated (and probably under-appreciated) woman stresses aloud about traffic, work, and parenting (has nothing changed?) before calling upon the magical bath powder: “Caglon, take me away!”

Then, over a B-roll of said woman indulging in a fluff, pillowy cloud of bubbles wafting from a not-so-quiet-luxury marble bath, the retro announcer tells us:

“Lose your cares in the luxury of a Calgon bath.” And then: “Lose yourself in luxury.”

Honestly, that tagline still holds up today. And I gotta say, Valentine’s Day or not, spending hours soaking in bath oils and salts with a candle or two lighting the way and a glass(es) of wine at your fingertips is pretty much always a good idea.

3. Plan a zero-social-interaction day

With remote work that follows you home and notifications that never stop, unplugging is really the only way to remove the digital shackles and regain some sense of stillness.

Even for diehard social butterflies, putting your relationships on pause for a day and spending a little time with just yourself can do wonders for your mental health (and as a byproduct, your physical health, too).

• For uninterrupted lounging with the security of knowing you can still check your messages, switch your phone to silent.
• For something a little closer to the cone of silence, activate airline mode—and resist the temptation to check in.
• For hard-core relaxing, completely power-down your phone. Instead, pick up a book. Veg out with a marathon of your comfort show. Make yourself an elaborate cocktail—or literally anything in this list of 100 self-care ideas that doesn’t involve obsessively checking your phone. (You can do it!)

4. Take yourself on a date

The quintessential single person’s Valentine’s Day activity.

The bold will put on their very best little black dress or suit, reserve a table for one at the most date-y restaurant in your neighborhood, and order the special for two—to be eaten by one.

But if dining on display in all your solitude amidst the date nights is a little out of your comfort zone, that’s okay. There are other places to take yourself on a solo Valentine’s Day date, like consuming a large popcorn and too much candy at the cinema or wearing an elegant dress and staring cryptically at sculptures in an art gallery.

Not convinced? Contributing writer Eleanor Jones lays out the reasons to start taking yourself on more solo dates (plus a few solo date ideas you can lean on year-round) in A Merry Loner’s Guide to Dating Yourself.

5. Go on a spontaneous solo weekend trip

If Valentine’s Day falls on pretty much any day but Tuesday or Wednesday, why not go all the way and make a weekend out of it?

I’m having visions of a cozy seaside or mountainous bed and breakfast—not in a hot-and-happening destination but in a little, middle-of-nowhere town with nothing to do but stroll, get coffee, and peruse the local library.

There will be omelettes for breakfast and thick cashmere sweaters and maybe even the light smattering of rain and an upholstered armchair, if you’re lucky. Most importantly, there will be no one to answer to but the waiter asking if you would like to order dessert.

6. Do something nice for someone else

Be honest. Is being single on Valentine’s Day making you feel a bit crappy?

There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t need to get so hopped up on blind positivity that you deny yourself real emotions.

Maybe last year you had the Valentine’s Day of your dreams, and this year you’re still thinking about all the threads that came undone. Or maybe you’ve never had the Valentine’s Day you’ve always hoped for and you’re starting to wonder if it’ll ever happen.

Feeling blue sometimes is valid—and no amount of positive affirmations or manifestations can wipe your soul of its full-bodied spectrum of yearning. Nor should it.

Instead, I find sometimes the best way to feel better about yourself is to spend less time thinking about yourself.

• Visit a nursing home.
• Volunteer at an animal shelter.
• Give some of your time to a soup kitchen.

It may be Valentine’s Day, but the world carries on. And there are a lot of people who aren’t getting red roses today, tomorrow, or the next day. But your time, your compassion, and your smile can give them—and you—much more.

Embrace Loner Living every month of the year

Valentine’s Day is an occasion when we spotlight our relationships. But in the words of contributing writer Nikita Andester:

“Your relationship with yourself is the longest you’ll ever have.”

Are you paying it enough attention?

Taking the time to learn more about yourself and your evolving relationship with you is more valuable than any box of imported chocolates.

Wanna work on it? Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to reflect on your relationship with you.

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Recommended Reading:

• 9 Books on My 2025 Reading List
• How to Live a More Analog Life: 5 easy, cheap (or free) ideas
• How to Get Over Yourself and Go to that Damn Wedding, Gloriously Solo
• Ultimate Guide to Self-Care: 100 Self-Care Ideas
• 20 Journal Prompts for Anger | How Anger Writing Prompts Can Help You Work Through Your Feelings