Books are natural companions for merry loners. Find reading lists, classic and contemporary book recommendations, and themed round-ups for people who love being alone with a good story—and don’t need a book club to enjoy it.
Starting anew can happen at any moment. Joy Sullivan shares her instructions for taking off.
September is the ninth month of the year, but for many, brings the same refreshing feeling of January. Perhaps it’s the smell of fresh notebooks, new class schedules, and first-day-of-school outfits that lingers in our minds and makes the end of the summer feel like a beginning. But sometimes, we get the urge to start anew on a Wednesday. Or in July. Or at two o’clock in the afternoon when we’ve had a very disagreeable morning and want to restart the clock to try to win back those lost, grumpy hours.
A few deep breaths can help. A short walk to the corner and back can bring an entirely new perspective. Sometimes, simply brewing a fresh cup of coffee, cracking your knuckles, and opening to a clean page in a book or notepad can trick our minds into starting the day anew.
It’s not always just the morning hours we wish we could take back, though. It’s the entire week, the last few months, or, when our spirits are particularly low and tomorrow feels more like an obligation than an opportunity, it’s the last several years that have been weighing us down, tethered to the ankles.
How to set ourselves free? How to, despite everything, start again?
Poetry can help.
During my college years when melancholy trailed me like cigarette fumes, I found solace in leftover napkins, corners of newspapers (for I used to luxuriate in the free time of a college student by reading the newspaper cover to cover every day at eleven o’clock, accompanied only by a toasted bagel with cream cheese and a black coffee), and torn-out, crinkled notepads. I wrote away the malaise, releasing it from me in a disjointed anthology of mediocre poems thrown together in between classes, during classes, at coffee shops, and even in the car when I would hurry to pull into the nearest parking lot to preserve an idea. In a way, those poems preserved me, or at least the me who was ailing, and in capturing her inky ponderings, those poems set the new me free.
“Professional” poems (what I call those published and printed in a book for mass-market sale) helped set the new me free, too.
During difficult times, my melancholy introduced me to Charles Bukowski, Molière and my beloved, dreamy William Butler Yeats. Their works fed the melancholy, helped it steep and simmer until I felt ready enough to let it go. But it was Joy Sullivan who spooned me an all-together new kind of elixir that tasted like optimism, more like a soup, really, the kind of broth over which someone labors for hours, one spoonful of which is enough to soothe the sorest throat and deliver a week’s worth of bed rest in one warm gulp.
Here are a few loving spoonfuls for you:
“I wrote a pep talk recently to myself on a bar napkin: no matter which road you take, it will be both glorious and unbearable. Every road is lonely. Every road, holy. The only error is not walking forth.”
“First, you must realize you’re homesick for all the lives you’re not living. Then, you must commit to the road and the rising loneliness. To the sincere thrill of coming apart.””
“I opened the door for her. Draped the linen napkin across her lap. Fed her sauteed mushrooms licked with lemon. Bought her a second glass of wine: darling, you look lovely tonight.
When it was time for home, I said I’d like to take her out again. The rain came and I covered her head. In the bedroom mirror, I asked forgiveness for letting men love her when I could not. Patted the ripe pillow of her thighs. Her ostentatious ass. Marveled at the good dip of her belly, softness of her breast, sweet wizardry of her feet.
I stood in awe of her beautiful bones. I begged her not to leave me.”
These extracts are from Instructions for Traveling West by Joy Sullivan, a collection of poems I read in one sitting in the bath one winter night, marinating in the memories of who I once was and who I’d become, trying to figure out what was still holding me back from outwardly being the me only I know me to be.
And then I pulled the plug and watched the suds swirl away and decided that that evening was as good a time as any to start anew.
If you’re feeling the winds giving you a gentle nudge to start anew, see quotes about feeling alone to remind yourself that we are each steering our own ship and capable of reorienting our lives at any moment we choose. Traveling alone can help us determine where we want that ship to go; for cautious or new travelers, these books on traveling alone provide courage to set off.
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For those born with an innate sense of wanderlust, it can be difficult to imagine there are others who don’t share the same yearning to move. But for some, traveling isn’t a series of glittering memories. When prompted to pack a suitcase and brave the rails, road, or sky, be it across the world or a stone’s throw away, they see not picturesque walks along riverbanks, new aromas wafting their way, or foreign tongues catching their ears. They see long queues, packing restrictions, and suffocating crowds. Above all, they see the unknown.
The idea of traveling alone can be even more jarring. Still, even if you’re afraid of traveling alone, you might feel a quiet stirring within to test yourself and see how far you can go, both on the map and in your mind. Doing so requires quieting the anxieties bubbling beneath the surface and turning your attention to the voice of optimism pushing you forward. These books will feed that voice.
The shortlist: 4 books on traveling alone to feed your wanderlust
4 books about traveling alone to inspire your next trip
The clichés of traveling are true, I fear. It, quite literally, expands your horizons and pushes you past the geography, language, and culture that have contained and shaped you. You meet new people, smell new smells, savor (or spit out) new tastes, and learn that the world and its inhabitants, customs, and philosophies are far more numerous than that which you’ve encountered—or will ever. For no matter how many flights we board or rails we cross, we simply can’t see everything, leaving many lessons unlearned and stories unread.
All this to say, traveling is always worth the effort because we always return home with a new perspective about ourselves, the world, and everything we thought we knew. If you’ve never traveled alone before and you’re hesitant to try, let these stories inspire you.
About the author: Joy Sullivan (unknown) is a poet and educator. She was the poet-in-residence for the Wexner Center for the Arts and has guest-lectured at Stanford, Florida State University, and other institutions. She now leads writing workshops and writes the newsletter, Necessary Salt.
I love this book so much that I no longer own it. I gave it to a friend last year who had recently moved into a new apartment in a new city by herself. I hoped it would give her the same balm it did me. Written by Joy Sullivan during the pandemic, this collection of poems recounts the emotional aftermath of leaving: getting a divorce; quitting one’s job; moving across the country.
As in solo travel, there’s loneliness in leaving. But loneliness is the necessary precursor to self-discovery, growth, and paths towards greater things:
“First, you must realize you’re homesick for all the lives you’re not living. Then, you must commit to the road and the rising loneliness. To the sincere thrill of coming apart.” — from “Instructions for Traveling West” by Joy Sullivan
During your solo travels, there will likely be moments where you feel you’re “coming apart.” That means you’re on the road to somewhere worthwhile. Keep trekking.
About the author: Cheryl Strayed (1968—) is an American writer and podcast host. In addition to “Wild,” she’s written two nonfiction books, “Tiny Beautiful Things” and “Brave Enough,” and one novel, “Torch.”
A sensation of the 2010s, Cheryl Strayed’s memoir also lives on in a 2014 film adaptation, in which Reese Witherspoon portrays the author’s daring quest to hike 1,000+ miles of the Pacific Crest Trail — without training, guidance, or companionship. It’s another poignant memoir that gives credence to the cliché: Particularly in periods of transition when what we thought were constants in our lives begin to give way, voluntarily displacing ourselves (however temporarily) is sometimes the only way to regain balance and rediscover ourselves. Or as is blithely summarized in small talk at parties, “Solo travel helped me find myself.”
The loss of a parent and the end of a marriage are likely more relatable to a middle-aged audience, but younger readers can also find comfort in Strayed’s story as a reminder that the power to redesign your life and start anew is always within you. The presence (or absence) of others, though, can be a powerful force and, in some cases, the deciding factor of how we live our lives. Read How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone for proddings to regain your independence and stop waiting on other people’s permission to live your life.
About the author: Paulina Bren (1966—) is an American writer, historian, and Adjunct Professor of Multidisciplinary Studies on the Pittsburgh Endowment Chair in the Humanities at Vassar College. Born in Brno, Czechoslovakia, her early work focused on postwar Europe. In recent years, she’s turned her attention to women’s history. In 2024, she wrote “She-Wolves: The Untold History of Women on Wall Street.“
This book tells the story of a different kind of solo travel. Not one of visiting foreign lands for cultural or self-discovery but to begin a new life — and leave an old one behind. In “The Barbizon,” Paulina Bren tells the history of the Barbizon Hotel and its evolution from a respectable women’s boarding house to “the go-to destination for any young American woman with a dream to be something more.” Up until its closure in 1981, the women’s-only hotel hosted was a temporary home to “young women with artistic aspirations,” including names such as Sylvia Plath, Joan Didion, Grace Kelly, and Betsey Johnson.
The most courageous solo trip one can take is with a one-way ticket, leaving behind all that is familiar for the promise of a better life. Though your next (or first) solo trip may include a return ticket, the stories of the young women who journeyed to The Barbizon are an inspiring reminder to take risks, move outside your comfort zone, and actively pursue becoming the person you want to be.
Are you the person you want to be? Learning about who we are (and who we want to become) is a never-ending journey, but it helps to know where you’re starting from. These books on self-awareness can help you meet yourself.
About the author: John Bell Bouton (1830—1902) was an American newspaper editor, journalist, and author. He also published a novel exploring male friendship, “Round the Block: An American Novel.“
Published in 1887, this travelogue captures John Bell Bouton’s journey to Russia and his experiences of new-to-him cuisine, landscapes, and people.
Without the ease of modern technologies that make it easy to feel at home even when we’re on the other side of the world, it goes without saying that traveling (and traveling alone) in the 19th century was an altogether different kind of experience than we know today. Still, Bouton’s reflections remain relatable as they underscore one of the timeless benefits of traveling alone: freedom to let our curiosity lead us. Like “Instructions for Traveling West,” “Wild,” and “The Barbizon,” this solo travel book focuses not on destinations but on the desires to begin traveling and the many complications and delights encountered along the way.
It’s much easier to let your own curiosity guide your travels when you’re not constantly tned into the voices of others. Getting off social media (or at least reducing your time spent staring into the void) makes a big difference. Learn How to Quit Social Media, without deleting your accounts, to turn your focus from algorithms to the real world.
Books on solo travel — my top pick
Poetry is always a good idea. Maybe you’re contemplating a cross-country road trip or a spontaneous trek to the other side of the world. Perhaps you just need a change of scenery, and a cozy weekend alone in the next over will do. Joy Sullivan’s poems can help you tune into heart’s yearnings so your feet can lead you where your soul needs to go.
Books on traveling alone remind us of what is possible
There’s something inherently stirring about the open road. When we move beyond our known territories (even just for a weekend), we allow ourselves to move into new ways of thinking and consider different realities. For embarking on the open road alone is as much a journey within as it is outward, giving you the chance to explore not only different tastes, sights, and sounds but different vesions of yourself.
When travel feels out of reach, overwhelming, or otherwise unmanageable, books on traveling alone remind us that it’s never too late to begin the journey. We need only the courage to take the first step forward.
Next Steps:
Choose the first book that piques your interest. Don’t overthink it (and don’t put it off and keep scrolling). Not sure where to start. Just read a few pages to start. Joy Sullivan’s “Instructions for Traveling West” is short but powerful reading.
Pick a day your next (or first) solo trip. It doesn’t have to be far to be worthwhile. Why not take a day trip to a neighboring town where you don’t know anyone and the streets are unusual?
If you’ve never traveled alone before, practice doing things alone first in a place you feel comfortable in. A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge guides you through a week of bite-sized challenges to get more comfortabel (and confident) doing things alone without feeling lonely.
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Books on Traveling Alone: FAQs
What are some good travel books to invoke wanderlust?
“Roundabout to Moscow” by John Bell Bouton is a 19th-century travelogue that inspires dreamy fantasies of crossing Europe by train. If you’re tired of RyanAir and crowded airports and want a slower, more romantic way to travel, start here.
What are the most inspirational books on traveling that you have read?
Cheryl Strayed’s “Wild” tells the tale of a recent divorcée who sets off to hike 1,000+ miles of the Pacific Crest Trail alone. It’s an inspiring story of challenging yourself, quite literally moving outside of your comfort zone, and finding it in you to anew when life comes undone.
What is the best book you have read which has inspired you to travel and live abroad?
“The Barbizon” by Paulina Bren isn’t a modern memoir on becoming a digital nomad or bacpacking around the world. But in my eyes, it does much more to incite solo travel and inspire you to leave what you know a build the life you’ve been dreaming of.
What are some good books to read while travelling?
While traveling alone, I suggest bringing along Joy Sullivan’s collection of poems, “Instructions for Traveling West.” Compared to a dense novel, it’s easy to start or end each day of your journey by reading one poem—and her verses on “commit[ting] to the road” and “the sincere thrill of coming apart” will help you stay the course even when things get tough.
In general, I’m pretty anti short-form video and the fact that information is becoming more and more condensed into visually-stimulating, “aesthetically-pleasing” 30-second sound bytes.
Give me words. Give me chapters. Give me delicious sentences to underline and real paper pages to dog-ear.
Naturally, books are a big part of that. Even when I feel like I have no time.
If you’re short on time this week but still want to enrich your precious downtime instead of losing it to a doomscrolling spiral, try this: 9 good books you can read in a day.
Reading the classics can feel like a daunting, arduous task. Crime and Punishment, for example, (the much-celebrated, 19th-century Russian novel that I’ve yet to read) is over 600 pages, which for most of us, puts it well out of bounds of a casual beach read.
But there are other, lighter ways to get into reading classic literature. I like these two:
I devoured this one over the course of a few metro rides last summer in Paris—a fitting landscape for the French writer’s existential classic. At only 144 pages, The Stranger is a short and snappy read that will make even non-bibliophiles fly through it.
The scene is an Algerian beach, where an unsuspecting man finds himself witness to a murder and is quickly drawn into the subsequent moral and legal fallout. Ranking number one on Le Monde’s 100 Books of the Century list, The Stranger will make you well read on both continents.
About the author: Albert Camus (1913—1960) was a French philosopher, journalist, novelist, and recipient of the 1957 Nobel Prize in Literature (the second-youngest recipient in history, in fact). In addition to his renowned The Stranger, he also wrote the novels The Fall and The Plague, as well as many short stories, plays, and essays.
This was a gift from a friend and a wonderful introduction for me into Polish literature.
Written by Stanisław Lem, whom writer and critic Theodore Sturgeon supposedly heralded as the “most widely read science fiction author in the world,” Solaris is probably Lem’s most famous novel. It has been adapted for the screen many times, most prominently by the Soviet Union in 1968 and 1972 and again by the USA in 2002, starring a certain George Clooney and Natascha McElhone. (How did this go under my radar?)
I see the appeal. Solaris has one of the more intriguing concepts I’ve seen explored in science fiction: Aboard the Solaris Station for scientific research, psychologist Kris Kelvin faces a physical simulacra of his dead wife, chillingly reconstructed from his repressed memories.
Of note: The English translation that’s been in print since 1971 was not directly translated from Polish but, rather, translated from Jean-Michel Jasiensko’s 1964 French translation. Lem has, on the record, stated his disappointment with the subsequent English translation, considering it unfaithful to his writing.
In 2011, Bill Johnston completed a direct Polish-to-English translation, which Lem’s family praised as having “captured the spirit of the original.” Unfortunately, this edition was only released in print in a limited run of 400 copies in 2024. Today, it is only available as an ebook.
Why am I pointing this out?
There’s a gross imbalance between literature that is translated from English to other languages and literature that is translated from other langauges to English.
Feast your eyes on these astounding statistics:
According to the UNESCO Index Translationum, from 1979 to 2019, 1.27 million works were translated from English to another language. But the other direction (i.e., any other language translated to English), only counts 164,000 works.
To say this is a bummer is an understatement.
I’m currently working on a longer piece detailing the dominance of English literature, along with tips on how to find translated works to expand your reading list beyond the Anglo-Saxon publishing industry.
About the author: Stanisław Lem (1921—2006) was a Polish writer of novels, short stories, and essays that explore science fiction, philosophy, satire, and futurology. He’s particularly recognized for his ideas on intelligence, both human and artificial, and the limits of their abilities to interact with each other.
Available at Bookshop.org(paperback, Polish-French-English translation)
Available at Amazon (ebook, Polish-English translation) Note: This is the first and last time I will link to Amazon, as I do not condone Amazon’s deplorable treatment of their workers and thus do not buy from them or otherwise support them financially. If you, too, want to stop buying books from Amazon, I encourage you to check out these 5 Alternatives to Amazon for Books.
If you have more than one day to read…
There are obviously many more classic novels worth poking your nose into, but they’re not all short enough to be read in a day. Still, they are accessible, relatable, and fun.
I’m frequently extolling the benefits of reading classic literature, but that doesn’t mean I’m always hankering for an old-fashioned novel. For something a little more of the times, I like these two short novels:
Written entirely in Post-It messages stuck to the refrigerator, the aptly named Life on the Refrigerator door is a heartfelt story exploring the mother-daughter relationship.
Between single motherhood and the all-consuming torment that is adolescence, this mother and daughter rarely find time to physically be together; nonetheless, their daily written exchanges, however brief, keep them deeply connected—all the more so as they navigate a family tragedy together.
Powerful, uplifting, and highly relatable, this may even be a nice book to read with a family member.
About the author: Alice Kuipers (1979—) is a British novelist who has won the Grand Prix de Viarmes, the Livrentête Prize, the Redbridge Teenage Book Award, and the Saskatchewan First Book Award and has seen her Life on the Refrigerator Door adapted for the stage in England, France, and Japan. She writes young adult and children’s books.
Few books make me cry, but this one made the list—and I don’t think I’m the only one. The 160-page romance chronicles the love story of a Harvard jock and a working-class music student.
That’s all I’ll say about the plot, but even better: This book has a trivia-rich backstory:
Love Story was originally written as a screenplay and unceremoniously rejected by many Hollywood studios. Ali MacGraw, an actress, friend of the author, and at-the-time wife of Paramount executive vice president Robert Evans, apparently convinced her husband to greenlight the film. MacGraw would play the leading lady.
To promote what was expected to be a lackluster film, Paramount supposedly requested Segal transform the screenplay into a novel for promotional purposes, to be serialized in Ladies Home Journal and released in a few-thousand-copies run on Valentine’s Day. (Valentine’s Day to promote a romance novel? Groundbreaking.)
Unexpectedly, the novel became a best-seller, topping The New York Times Best Seller list and has since been translated into 30+ languages.
Though many literary critics were not fans. Upon its nomination for a National Book Award, one judge famously deemed it “banal,” saying “it…simply doesn’t qualify as literature.”
About the author: Erich Segal, Ph.D. (1937—2010) was an American screenwriter, author, and professor. Beyond writing over a dozen novels and screenplays, he was also a classics scholar, teaching at Yale, Harvard, Princeton, and Dartmouth.
I’m a bit of a wellness freak (though I’m not that into the world, “wellness”). I exercise almost daily. I rarely eat processed food. And I’m a frequent meditator. I also consume mushrooms, lots of mushrooms.
I’ll be brief here, but functional or medicinal mushrooms, per the International Journey of Molecular Sciences, “have important health benefits and exhibit a broad spectrum of pharmacological activities, including:
Antiallergic
Antibacterial
Antifungal
Anti-inflammatory
Antioxidative
Antiviral
Cytotoxic
Immunomodulating
Antidepressive
Antihyperlipidemic
Antidiabetic
Digestive
Hepatoprotective
Neuroprotective
Nephroprotective
Osteoprotective
And hypotensive activities.”
Some functional mushrooms are also adaptogens or as Dr. Dana Ellis Hunnes, UCLA Fielding School of Public Health assistant professor of community health sciences and senior dietitian at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, defines them:
“herbs, roots and other plant substances (like mushrooms) that help our bodies manage stress and restore balance after a stressful situation.”
TLDR: Mushrooms have very powerful health benefits that are finally starting to garner attention from Western medicine—and this book gives you a crash course in a light, easy-to-read book.
About the author: Tero Isokauppila is the founder of the Finnish-American functional foods company, Four Sigmatic, which (full disclosure) does sell adaptogenic mushrooms. (I’m a fan.) His book, however, is highly informative and educational. He has a degree in chemistry and a certificate in plant-based nutrition from Cornell University. He has also authored a companion book, Healing Mushrooms.
This book did take me more than a single day to read, as it was one I carried around in my bag and puzzled over for a while—but I could have.
At 144 pages, Become What You Are is a delightfully thought-provoking, inspiring little book that can be consumed in a single afternoon, though you’ll likely want to keep the evening free for the musings, self-introspection, and general philosophizing that are sure to follow. It gives a glimpse into various religious philosophies on how to discover your true self: a question we’ve all asked ourselves at one time or another but whose answer is often elusive if not ephemeral.
About the author: Alan Watts (1915—1973) was a British and American writer and speaker who popularized and interpreted Eastern philosophies for a Western audience. In addition to his 25+ books and essays on Buddhist, Taoist, and Hindu philosophy, Watts gained a significant following through his radio broadcasts, which are still circulated today.
Memoirs and biographies are some of my favorite types of books. As a long-time journal-er, I appreciate the dedication and insight it takes to attempt to articulate the chaos within—and the courage to bear it publicly.
From household names to emerging voices, these short memoirs are worth taking the afternoon off:
There have been countless books, essays, documentaries, memes, and other think pieces written about the life of Marilyn Monroe.
Tragic. Beautiful. Famous. Blonde. Married thrice. Institutionalized once. Medicated often. The superficial details of Monroe’s life provide easy material to romanticize and sensationalize. But what would she say?
My Story is, for once, the woman’s own words. Written throughout her life but published posthumously, this unfinished memoir touches on her childhood, her career, and her highly publicized marriage to Joe DiMaggio. If you’re curious what lies beneath all the pop culture hullabaloo and want to get straight to the source, this is it.
About the author: Marilyn Monroe (1953—1962) needs little introduction. Born Norma Jeane Mortenson, the American star was a top-billed actress, famous sex symbol, and an enduring cultural icon. She was also an intelligent, compassionate person who, despite the ongoing speculations, the public will never truly know.
A few years ago, I surprised myself by falling into an enormous Marily Monroe reading rabbit hole. I was never that intrigued by the famed starlet (I was more of an Audrey Hepburn fan) but quickly became mesmerized by her so widely dispersed yet so little understood story.
These books, in particular, were well researched and illuminating:
I found this book on a friend’s bookshelf while visiting her in Washington, D.C. for the weekend and spent a rainy afternoon sitting on her couch reading it from cover to cover.
In this memoir, Albom recounts his weekly visits with his former sociology professor who is dying from ALS. I believe it’s been made into a film and adapted for the screen several times, but (as always) I recommend reading the book first.
It’s one of those heartwarming, feel-good books that IMHO is best enjoyed with a delightful beverage, i.e., tea. If you’re not yet a tea drinker but want to be, you can find a cup to suit your palette in my enormous guide on How to Start Drinking Tea: The Best Tea for Non Tea Drinkers.
About the author: Mitch Albom (1958—) is an American writer, journalist, and radio host, best known for his books about life, loss, and meaning. Altogether, his works have sold 42+ million copies and have been translated into 48 languages. He currently writes a lifestyle column for the Detroit Free Press and a sports column, syndicated by Tribune Content Agency. He also hosts two radio programs.
Sometimes, only poetry will do. If you want to spend the afternoon with some light reading that will inspire, uplift, and take you on a journey to get in touch with those deep-down feelings you have that you’ve always struggled to articulate, then Joy Sullivan is your ideal partner in crime.
I devoured this book of poems over two days, on both occasions luxuriating in the bath with candles and, you guessed it: tea. Both times, I emerged feeling understood, reassured, and certain that any wild ideas I have are well worth pursuing.
I’ve since gifted my copy to a friend, and I wish to do the same to you.
About the author: Joy Sullivan (unknown) is a poet and educator. She was the poet-in-residence for the Wexner Center for the Arts and has guest-lectured at Stanford, Florida State University, and other institutions. She now leads writing workshops and writes the newsletter, Necessary Salt.
If the state of the world has you feeling troubled lately, I hope these will help you or at least offer a few hours of respite.
Ready to read?
Don’t procrastinate—grab a book you can read today:
The best book to read in a day, depending on your mood
“Best” is, of course, subjective. But I’ve spent a long time creating a curated guide to help you find a short book to read in an afternoon that accurately matches your mood:
Best books to read in a day — based on your mood
What’s the best book to read in a day… Based on your mood
Conclusion: Books you can read in one sitting are always worth “wasting” the day
There’s something delicious about spending the entire afternoon reading, especially when there’s something else you really “should” be doing. But in the grand scheme of things, is there any better way to spend your time than bettering your mind?
If so, I’ve yet to discover it.
Next Steps:
Pick one book from this list and buy it now so you’re ready for your reading day. Or head over to your local library and grab a copy for free.
Set aside a full afternoon (or morning or evening). Book a spot at your favorite restaurant. Plan to head to your coziest cafe. Or just nestle at home with a freshly brewed cup.
Put the kettle on. Because what goes better with a brand-new book than a steaming pot of tea? Before you brew, I encourage you to consider one of these 6 Ethical Tea Companies from which to source your leaves. (Big Tea is a thing, and it’s gnarly.)
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Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she’s headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master’s in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.
Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:
LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company
BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story
ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline
SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone
MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life
LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life
Working on yourself is the most important work of your life.
My toxic trait is that I can be quite oblivious to my surroundings.
Until recently, I had no idea that that friend of a friend had a crush on me. Yesterday I walked right by a friend who was waving to me in the street—not because I’m a stuck-up snob with my nose in the air, but because I genuinely didn’t notice her. Sometimes, I childishly don’t realize what I’m feeling about a specific situation until I’ve had the time and distance to sort it all out in my head (and maybe also have a snack, which somehow makes everything clearer).
I’ve always got my head in the clouds, but lately I’ve been trying to come back down to Earth. At least for a little bit.
And I’m getting there with a little help from my friends. By friends, I mean a whole retinue of books on awareness—books on self-awareness, that is.
I’ve done a lot of reading, a lot of highlighting, and a lot of dog-earing the pages. (Don’t tell your neurotic book friends.)
In my eternal quest for self-development, I think I’m getting one step closer with my carefully curated list of the seven best books on self-awareness.
If you’re asking yourself this question, you’re already off to a good start.
Europe’s Journal of Psychology defines self-awareness as “the extent to which people are consciously aware of their internal states and their interactions or relationships with others.”
Let’s break that down:
“…aware of their internal states…” AKA, what’s really going on in that complicated noggin of yours? What are you feeling, reeling with, dealing with, or (dare I say) oppressing?
“…aware of…their interactions or relationships with others.” That’s quite the loaded phrase, isn’t it? Most immediately, it makes me think: Am I actually treating other people the way I think I am? Am I listening to them? Am I considering their feelings when I interact with them? Am I considering MY feelings when I interact with them?
Top 7 Books on Self-Awareness
I’m not here to play doctor. But what I can do is help you begin (or continue) your personal development journey.
Light up a candle that makes you feel something. Put on your best moody, mellow playlist. And tear into one of the best books on self-awareness.
I read this book a few months before I got married after my soon-to-be-husband and I had an argument. (What it was about, I can’t even remember, which just goes to show you how so many of the things we stress about in this world end up being unimportant in the long run.)
Listening is probably one of the more important components in improving your self–awareness. (Really, it’s one of the more important factors in life.) And we rarely give it enough attention.
Warning: Reading this book may make you cringe—repeatedly—since it’ll force you to recall some of the many, many times you failed to be a good listener. (Don’t worry, aren’t we all?)
Then, it gives you strategies to course-correct yourself so you can stop being the friend who only talks about herself and start being the friend who actually, truly, really cares.
“In modern life, we are encouraged to listen to our hearts, listen to our inner voices, and listen to our guts, but rarely are we encouraged to listen carefully and with intent to other people.”
I read this book after I saw some random person on X mention it. Thanks, random person on X—you were right: This book made me do a double-take on:
All the things I’m constantly stressing about
All the things I want to do in my life
All the things I will probably never be able to do
It’s depressing—in a good way. (The same kind of way that we believe “Life Is Sad and Then You Die” is actually a pretty great, uplifting life motto. This is why.)
The (perhaps sad) reality of life is that we only have so much time here. We don’t even know how much, exactly, we have. And far too many of us squander far too much of it. This book gave me pause and inspired me to drop a lot of dead weight that was only dragging me down and stressing me out.
“Convenience culture seduces us into imagining that we might find room for everything important by eliminating only life’s tedious tasks. But it’s a lie. You have to choose a few things, sacrifice everything else, and deal with the inevitable sense of loss that results.”
I read this book during probably the most stressful summer of my life. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I was staying in an acquaintance’s apartment (without Wi-Fi, quelle horreur!) in a country where I knew only two people. I think I had a panic attack for the very first time.
So one of the two people I knew gave me this book.
I read it in, I think, two days, and I’m pretty sure I felt my heart rate decelerating with each turn of the page.
Basically, Sapolksy explains how we’re all walking balls of stress. (Okay, nothing new there.) In our modern society, we have few opportunities to release this stress physically, so we remain trapped in a chronic physiological state of stress. That’s not a good thing.
Remember how we talked about being aware of your internal state? If your internal state is a stressed-out dumpster fire screaming for help, this book will help you find a hose.
My favorite quote from Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers:
“For the vast majority of beasts on this planet, stress is about a short-term crisis, after which it’s either over with or you’re over with. When we sit around and worry about stressful things, we turn on the same physiological responses—but they are potentially a disaster when provoked chronically.”
Learn how to do things alone—without feeling lonely
a comfortable, nonjudgmental email challenge that helps you own the power of being alone
I remember reading this book over a few warm summer nights back when I lived in Providence, huddled under the porchlight in my robe, absentmindedly flicking away mosquitos and curious passersby.
I was deep in my Depression Era, and I was mostly turning to books for some solace and a beacon of light in my search for meaning. I’m not saying this book cured my depression (certainly not), but it made the future seem a little less bleak. And in some chapters, it gave me the warm fuzzies.
Mostly, it made me more aware of my own level of emotional intelligence—where I excelled, where I was lagging behind, and what I could do to try to become better.
“Paradoxically, it is friendship that often offers us the real route to the pleasures that Romanticism associates with love.
That this sounds surprising is only a reflection of how underdeveloped our day-to-day vision of friendship has become. We associate it with a casual acquaintance we see only once in a while to exchange inconsequential and shallow banter.
But real friendship is something altogether more profound and worthy of exultation.
It is an arena in which two people can get a sense of each other’s vulnerabilities, appreciate each other’s follies without recrimination, reassure each other as to their value and greet the sorrows and tragedies of existence with wit and warmth.”
Buckle in: This self-awareness book recommendation comes with a story.
When I was a sophomore in college, I took a class called Interpersonal Communications. I vividly remember being in the car with my dad and older brother when I received an email from the professor about the upcoming course. Her message read something along the lines of:
“By the end of this class, you will be more in touch with your emotions, more compassionate and understanding of those around you, and better able to navigate delicate emotional—blah blah blah…”
I was not enthused. I was 19. I was angst-y and consumed with existential dead. I wanted nothing to do with (what I considered )to be this unnecessary, flowery nonsense.
Cut to a year later. This professor asked me to be her teaching assistant. We got coffee outside of class. And I confessed to the very awesome Kristine Cabral that I had been totally wrong about this book, her class, and my approach to communication.
I’ve read many magnificent books in my life, but few among them I would call life-changing. This book is life-changing. (I even bought copies of this book for some family members as gifts. You take from that what you will.)
I think I read this book during the COVID-19 pandemic lock-downs. (So trigger warning to myself.)
Clearly, it was a time when we were all online more than ever, and I don’t know about you, but my mental health was really suffering. Before the pandemic, I would happily power down my phone some nights just to have some mental peace and quiet and get away from the incessant notifications, messages, and urges to scroll. My loneliness and my lack of interaction with anyone outside my house put an abrupt end to my former healthy practice.
And though the pandemic has come and gone, my old habit has not quite fully returned.
But I did put down my phone long enough to read this book, which made me do a hard think on my relationship with technology and what factors I can control to stay out of the clutches of Big Tech.
“The problem isn’t that people lack willpower; it’s that ‘there are a thousand people on the other side of the screen whose job it is to break down the self-regulation you have.’”
This is probably the most buzz-worthy among the self-aware books on this list—and for good reason.
If you’re not already familiar, Jennette McCurdy was a child actor on popular shows like iCarly and Sam and Cat. But this memoir isn’t a juicy tell-all on the woes of child stardom nor is it a critique of the predatory child acting industry so much as it is a reflection on her difficult relationship with her mother and, by consequence, herself.
Remember what Europe’s Journal of Psychology said about self-awareness? Self-awareness also pertains to how much we are aware of our interactions or relationships with others.
Paying attention to how we interact with others, how they interact with us, and what that means for our mental and emotional well-being is A LOT easier said than done. McCurdy’s brutally honest tale sets the course for profound self-reflection that most of us are sorely in need of.
All the self-awareness books in this line-up give you something of value, but this is the one that really made me look inward and then actually change not only my way of thinking but my behavior. (It also made me eat my words.)
Ready to read?
Don’t procrastinate—grab a book on self-awareness and get started:
The best books on self-awareness, depending on what you need right now
Of course, I can’t speak for everyone. While we could all probably use a little more time giving ourselves constructive criticism, we don’t all need the same kind of constructive criticism.
So here’s your quick cheat sheet, i.e., the best self-awareness books for you in this present moment.
P.S. Don’t overthink it! Just follow your gut instinct. It knows the way.
It’s an uphill battle that won’t be solved in a day.
But that’s life. And you can do it.
Next Steps:
Choose one book that speaks to what you’re going through right now. Not sure where to start? I think The School of Life: An Emotional Education is an all-around enlightening pick that has a little something to help everyone.
Commit to reading the whole thing. Just a few minutes a day is all it takes. Take 5 seconds right now and put a reminder in your phone right to read for 15 minutes a day.
Set aside time for solo reflection. Give yourself space to digest and think about what you read. If the book brings up some frustration, let it out with these 20 Journal Prompts for Anger.
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Books on Self-Awareness: Common FAQs
What is the best book on how to have more self-awareness?
There’s no one best book on self-awareness because we’re all different (duh). But if had to recommend one book to get you started, that would be The School of Life: An Emotional Education.
While the other self awareness books in this list tap into more niche emotions, this one covers a greater breadth of the human experience and, IMHO, has a little something for everyone.
Why is self-awareness important?
You can’t work on becoming a better person if you don’t know where you’re starting from—and we all need to work on ourselves at least a little.
Self-awareness helps you better understand what makes you tick, where you shine, and where you fall short so you can start taking steps to becoming a better you.
Can self-awareness be taught?
Yes! Self-awareness is like a muscle: the more you work it, the stronger it becomes.
But like a muscle, self-awareness requires consistent effort to see progress. That means incorporating habits that help build self-awareness into your regular routine, like reading more self awareness books, journaling, or meditating.
What are some great classics to read to help build self-awareness?
Self-awareness is an age-old challenge. If you want more books on self-awareness, you can also get a lot of useful insight and inspiration from literature.
Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she’s headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master’s in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.
Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:
LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company
BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story
ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline
SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone
MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life
LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life
Hello, old friend. So we meet again. You’re never very far, are you? Whether it’s work struggles, family strife that is slowly making you develop an ulcer, or Big Bad Politics rearing its ugly head and taking your sanity and sense of joy with it, existential dread is a constant companion I just can’t seem to ghost.
I try to do the right things. I avoid listening to melancholy music (though to the gravely voice of Tom Waits I always return). I meditate. I do yoga. I buy fresh flowers, take luxurious bubble baths, grind my own coffee beans, and practice other analog rituals designed to help me slow down and live a less scattered, manic life.
Often, these things work. Despite my frequent complaining (which I usually milk for comedic effect), I sometimes feel like the happiest person I know. Still, the icy fingers of existential dread (or is it a clammy clutch?) find their way back to me like a stray dog whining for scraps. The scraps are my mental health. And sometimes it’s in short supply.
When old existential dread comes a-knockin’, I try to find solace in books — but not the fictional reads in which the monsters are manufactured, the endings endearing, and the characters’ flaws cathartic. In times of trouble, I need poetry. Self-help books dressed up as philosophy. And yes, maybe even a novel or two—but they should be poignant enough to make me ponder.
Are you in times of trouble? I’m here for you, and so are my five go-to books for existential dread.
The shortlist: 5 books for existential dread to help you see the light again
1. Instructions for Traveling West — for feeding the beautiful beast in you that wants to sprint, hair streaming, through the wildflowers
I’m superficial. When I enter a bookstore, I’m a bachelorette on the prowl, scanning the room to see just who may come home with me, potentially into my bed or maybe even the bath, i.e., I judge books by their covers. So when I strolled past the colorful spine of Joy Sullivan’s “Instructions for Traveling West,” the nostalgia in me swooned.
Years ago, I developed an alternate reality for myself in which I turned 40, got divorced, and moved to Montana to romantically live out my days on a horse ranch. (I recall having just bought a pair of Levi’s at the time.) Turns, out Sullivan’s book of poetry explores feelings not too dissimilar from those that inspired my imaginary mid-life crisis: dreams of a fantastical fleeing to seek a new life founded on freedom and beauty.
But let’s look at Sullivan’s words, which are much more eloquent than mine. The book flap reads:
“First, you must realize you’re homesick for all the lives you’re not living. Then, you must commit to the road and the rising loneliness. To the sincere thrill of coming apart.”
“…the sincere thrill of coming apart” — that’s a doozy. I don’t know about you, but when it feels like your life is coming apart at the seams, thrilling is hardly the word I would use. More like gut-wrenching. Or panic-inducing. Or hand-wringing, the kind you do when you start praying to a God you didn’t know you believe in. But then there’s poetry, and your wound finds the balm it needs.
When this book came home with me, it was an instant all-nighter. I remember staying up late and reading it on the front stoop in my bathrobe like the crazy, unkempt woman my lace-up oxfords would never let you believe I really am.
I’m not sure exactly what led me to this book, but I know one thing: It was bought during The Sad Time, i.e., the period of depression that ate my early twenties and caused me to do such things as read at odd hours in my bathrobe on my front stoop. It was worth the spectacle. And as I recall reporting to a few curious passersby (I lived on a fairly busy street at the time), “Yes, it is worth the read.” I’ve since recommended “The School of Life: An Emotional Education” to a friend who was battling his own Sad Time. And now I recommend it to you.
Apparently, The School of Life is a media company with lots of articles and podcasts and videos to help you deal with daily traumas like work, relationships, and socializing. I didn’t know that at the time. What I did know was this book felt like a wise, distant, older cousin whom you’ve really only met about six times in your life, but when you reconnect in your adulthood, they manage give you a philosophical pat on the back, releasing the tension you didn’t know was taking custody of your shoulders and whispering to your whole being: “It’s all going to be okay.”
Oh, this marvelous book. I’ve gone on record saying this is my favorite book of all time (just eeking past the formidable “The Picture of Dorian Gray” by Oscar Wilde), I bought a beat-up old copy at a used bookstore on a whim and have read it several times since. I even sent my husband a copy in the mail when he was my long-distance boyfriend and we did cute things like that from time to time. This 1929 tale recounts the existential crisis of a rich playboy (a real tragedy, I know) and his yearslong quest to make his life worth something.
The first time I read this book, I stayed up until all hours of the morning, so pressed was I to find out what became of our protagonist’s moral journey. It’s incredible to think this book is almost one hundred years old, yet it still intrigues. It still inspires. And it still reminds us during dark times that no matter how rotten you think you might be — no matter what mistakes color your character — it is never too late to turn yourself into the person you wish you were.
I’ve read every book Sally Rooney’s written. And I have news: She’s worth the hype. “Normal People” was my first step into the Rooney universe, devoured during a stay-at-home Loner date with myself, a large bowl of pasta with fresh tomato sauce, and a bottle of rosé, and it made me a forever fan of the Irish writer’s works. But after reading each of her novels, my all-time favorite must be “Beautiful World, Where Are You.”
According to Rooney’s acknowledgements, the title of this book is a translation from Friedrich Schiller’s 1788 poem, The Gods of Greece (in the original German: Die Götter Griechenlandes), a fact that really tells me nothing about the book itself but nonetheless heightens my intrigue. In this novel, four youthful protagonists are dealing with The Sad Times. At frequent intervals, they will annoy you; they are not always characters you want to root for. But they translate a realness that many, rosier novels choose to overlook. And amidst all of this wallowing, their fictional tribulations make real-life existential dread seem just a little more surmountable —and the beautiful world, a little more identifiable.
This is the book I take off my shelf when — when anything is happening, really. When I’ve been working too much and need to remind myself of art and beauty. When the world seems vapid and my spirit void, and I need a poet to lean on. When I’m somewhere in that dreamy state of nostalgic melancholy and I want to hear such lines as:
“…Considering that, all hatred driven hence, Tthe soul recovers radical innocence and learns at last that it is self-delighting, self-appeasing, self-affrighting, and that its own sweet will is heaven’s will; she can, though every face should scowl and every windy quarter howl or every bellows burst, be happy still…”
This is just one excerpt from one poem from one book, and yet it’s enough to lighten the load of the world that weighs upon us.
When the sky is falling, books are there
When doom-scrolling is killing your soul, frenemies are praying on your insecurities, family is suffocating you with expectations, or you’re having one of those days where the future looks bleak and empty of promise—turn to a book. It won’t ask you to double-tap or subscribe. It won’t inquire about your romantic life or any developments in producing grandchildren. It won’t even talk back. It will just be there when you need it. And even when you leave it, it will be waiting right where you left off when you’re ready to return.
Next Steps:
Pick one book that speaks to what you’re going through right now. Got the feels but don’t know what kind of feels? I recommend starting with “The School of Life: An Emotional Education.” It’s kind of an intellectual cure-all for all manner of yearning, woes, and wallowing.
Broaden your horizons with books on self-awareness. Often, existential dread and identity crises go hand in hand. Whether we’re zooming out and stressing about the whole world’s problems or we’re hyper-fixating on the details of our own lives, spiraling about one thing can quickly lead to spiraling about everything. Let books be your guiding light. Check out these “7 Best Books on Self-Awareness” to help you quell the stress.
Let it all out on paper. Existential dread is often a whirlwind of emotions, and anger can often make a grand appearance. Let out that rage in a healthy way with some introspective journaling; these 20 Journal Prompts for Anger are a helpful starting place.
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Books for Existential Dread: Common FAQs
What are some good books to read when dealing with an existential crisis or identity issues?
Existential dread means a little something different for everybody. But if you’re really going through it and questioning whether or not you’re going down the right path in life, I love “Magnificent Obsession” by Lloyd C. Douglas. (In fact, it’s my all-time favorite book.) It’s an inspiring tale about making mistakes, starting over, and realizing it’s never too late to change your life.
What are the best books for dealing with an existential crisis?
In times of emotional crisis, poetry can soothe like no other. I particularly like Joy Sullivan’s “Instructions for Traveling West,” a collection of poems written during the pandemic that “grapples with loss, loneliness and belonging.” If you feel like you’re searching but don’t know what you’re searching for, start here.
Which novels explore existential anxiety and how?
I have two favorite novels for helping me work through existential dread. “Magnificent Obsession’ by Lloyd C. Douglas (my favorite book, by the way) starts with tragedy, shame, and regret and ends with a heartwarming reminder that it’s never too late to become the person you want to be. “Beautiful World, Where Are You” by Sally Rooney deals with the existential dread and anxiety that sometimes seep into the everyday mundanity of life. It uplifts by reminding you that you’re not the only one going through a hard time.
Is existential dread normal?
Yes, it’s a normal part of the human experience, and you’re not weird or overly analytical for feeling this way sometimes. As beautiful as life can be, it’s also full of stressors, dangers, and fears. Talking it out helps a lot. So does writing, journaling, dancing, painting, and lots of other creative activities that don’t include scrolling social media. Of course, I believe books for existential dread are a great way to help you decipher the chaos of life.
It depends. If you’re caught up by a whirl of emotions, you might just need a few nights to ride it out. Call a friend. Write in your journal. Listen to some moody music. Explore books that help you digest your feelings (I love classic novels for a reminder that no matter what’s happening right now, life goes on. Remember, curiosity and intellectual exploration are all good things.). But if you find yourself consumed by feelings of dread and they’re not going away, don’t ruminate alone; ask for help. That might mean confiding in a trusted one or scheduling a visit with your doctor. If you need immediate help, remember in the USA, 9-8-8 is the national number for suicide prevention and mental health crises.
How to fix existential dread?
It’s hard to “fix” existential dread in one fell swoop, especially when it feels like every day brings new headlines about the sky falling, the world burning, and society as we know it falling apart. But there are ways to manage the stress, worry, and philosophical malaise that weigh on us.
Feelings of existential dread can crop up when you’re going through big changes in your life, like starting a new job, moving, or ending a relationship. But it can also rear its head even in the more mundane moments, like if you’re unfulfilled at work or just realizing how quickly time passes. But existential dread doesn’t always have to mean a crisis. It can be an awakening for deep thinking, self reflection, and a reckoning with the world around you, all good things. And whether you need to let it all out or take it all in, journaling and reading can help you process The Big Thoughts.
Am I ever going to finish my reading list? Definitely not. Do I keep adding to it almost every day, not because I have shiny-new-object syndrome but because there’s simply too big a world of too many marvelous books to read? Yes, I’m glad you asked.
My books-to-read list is ever-growing, but these nine just got a fast-track to the top of the stack. Here’s why:
1. Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show by Bethany Joy Lenz
Is it cheating if I already read this one?
I couldn’t help myself. Since I was at my parents’ in Rhode Island to visit my family for Christmas, my inner child was pulling me towards a Barnes & Noble visit with my mom. I’ve been living in France for 3+ years, but even so—I hadn’t been to good, old B&N for much longer than that, and I felt like a kid who had rediscovered the candy store.
When I walked in, this flashy pink cover was on one of the front display cases, and it immediately caught my eye. I’d seen the catchy name and the big, Southern hair pop up on the Internet for the past few months, but I really had no idea what the book was about or even who had written it. Apparently, it’s written by Bethany Joy Lenz who was apparently on some early-2000s TV show called One Tree Hill?
I’ve never seen the show, so it wasn’t nostalgic pop culture gossip that was pulling me in. Instead, I’d recently discovered that Lenz had created a new, print-only newspaper called Modern Vintage News—and that was enough to make me a fangirl. (Yay for what feels like the start of society’s return to a more analog lifestyle.)
Long story short, I started reading this book at the airport on my way home to Paris—and I finished it the next day. It’s an unbelievable page-turner that I very well may read again. 10/10 recommend.
Honestly, until a few months ago, I had never even so much as picked up a Sally Rooney book. I wasn’t avoiding her on pretense, but I was going through a years-long novel drought. Fortunately, my pretentious phase of only reading about politics, history, or high-brow classic literature has come to an end, and I’m rediscovering my love of the novel.
In the last three-ish months, I’ve read the other three Rooney books and have been patiently waiting to sink my teeth into Intermezzo. I read Normal People and Conversations with Friends (my least favorite) on my Libby app, and I bought a used copy of Beautiful World, Where Are You? (my favorite so far), but I can’t wait to head to my local bookstore and pick up a fresh, delightfully crisp, brand-new copy of her latest writing. Please, no spoilers.
Yet another book the Internet sold me on—and then I promise it stops there.
I think I saw this book circulating on Instagram through most of last year. Like I said, I first turned a blind eye to it because I wasn’t yet back in my I-love-novels-again phase. It was Normal People that steered me back in the right direction, and since then, I’ve been looking for similar writers. I don’t know if this is necessarily going to scratch the Sally-Rooney itch, but it may sparkle and dazzle me in its own unique way.
I’m definitely intrigued by the title and the absolutely stunning cover art, so I already know this is one I’m going to want to buy in hard cover. I plan to carry it in my bag at all times, flash it at the bookshop and local café, and then proudly display it on my bookshelf like the artful trophy it is. (I hope it’s worth it.)
4. Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi
At last, something that inspired me from the analog world.
For the last year or so, no matter what bookstore I went into, in what country, in what language, I would see this book staring back at me in French, German, English, etc. In the marketing world, they say it takes at least seven touchpoints before a prospect is ready to become a buyer—and it guess it worked on me this time because my curiosity has finally gotten the better of me.
I’m someone who like to go to into a book (or movie, for that matter) totally blind with as little information about the plot as possible, so to be honest, I don’t even know what this book is about. But it’s clearly a bestseller; it’s clearly everywhere; and it’s clearly well loved. And I want in on this story (finally).
Another book about coffee—and the reason this one is on my reading list is a little bit embarrassing.
I couldn’t remember the name of the book “Before the Coffee Gets Cold,” but I knew I wanted to add it to my list even a few months ago, so I pathetically tried searching online with the phrases “café book” or the equally pointless “coffee shop book.” Eventually, I got to the Japanese novel I was looking for, but first, I kept stumbling on The Café with No Name by Robert Seethaler.
Although it goes against my usual practice, I did check out the synopsis for this one: “a vibrant tale of love.” “Summer 1966.” “Robert Simon is in his early thirties and has a dream.”
I didn’t need to read anymore—they’ve already got me. Just skimming a few lines from synopsis makes me feel like my world has instantly become sepia-toned and poetic and scored by Alan Menken. I’m planning a vacation in April, and I can already picture myself reading this on dreamy spring days in a train car while stealing glances out the window at green, rolling landscapes. (Yes, please.)
I can’t remember where exactly I heard about this book, but I remember it was from another book.
It was some novel where the protagonist was commenting on another character by saying, “They look like they’ve probably read The Golden Notebook.” I totally didn’t get the reference.
When I looked it up, I immediately realized how un-well read and sophisticated I am. Apparently, this is “the landmark novel by Nobel Prize winner Doris Lessing” and “a powerful account of a woman searching for her personal, political and professional identity.” Definitely something I want to check out.
Plus, I’m someone who is unabashedly sold by a book’s title or cover. It’s the title that’s drawing me in this time, though the jury’s still out on whether or not I’ll agree with the Nobel Committee’s high marks.
Another mystery on my reading list—I can’t remember why this book is there, but it certainly deserves its spot.
It covers all the points an exquisite novel should: 19th century New York society. A romance with “a dashing and determined suitor.” And a father determined to squander said romance.
Plus, I’ve never read any of Henry James’s works (and even though I said I’m getting back into the modern novel, I’m not giving up on classic literature altogether), so this seems like as good as any place to start.
P.S. I haven’t even read this book yet, but the 19th-century New York society is already brining back memories of one of my all-time favorite book series that I devoured when I was in middle school and then again in high school and then again in my early twenties. If you’ve never checked out The Luxe series by Anna Godbersen and you want a high drama mixed with silken dresses and passive-aggressive, old-fashioned manners, then this is for you.
I haven’t read a science fiction book in a long time, so I was really thrilled when a friend gave me this book on their recent visit to Paris.
I’m actually a huge sci-fi fan, so I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit that I’d never even heard of Stanisław Lem. As I’ve recently learned, he’s considered a very prolific writer, particularly in philosophy, futurology, and science fiction. In fact, according to Wikipedia, fellow sci-fi heavyweight Theodore Sturgeon called Lem “the most widely read science fiction writer in the world.” (That was in 1976.)
Plus, Lem is a Polish writer, and I’m married to a Polish man, so I consider it personally important to read more Polish works. I’m excited to dive into this one. Who knows, perhaps it will be the first of many Lem books on my shelf.
9. Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey
And lastly, a good, old self-help book.
(Is that what this is?) I don’t mean to be insulting. I feel like the self-help book category is the subject of a lot of mockery—but couldn’t we all use a little more help?
I’ve heard of this book over the years since it was published in 2013, but it wasn’t until a couple of artist friends mentioned it to me last year that it earned a place on my reading list. Normally, I don’t really go for these inspiration, find-your-way-to-creativity books, but Nikita Andester is one of the best writers I know, so I hold her opinion in good favor.
I’m envisioning myself reading this while drinking tea from a fancy cup on a Sunday morning—or maybe I’ll do it on a random Wednesday afternoon so I can feel like a real broke artist. We’ll see.
P.S. Nikita Andester is also a contributing writer at A Merry Loner. Check out her latest article, In Defense of Laughing Alone.
Last year, I only read 17 books, which is nothing to be sad about, but it still leaves me with a reading list a mile long—and the unfulfilled dreams of being an extremely literary person.
This year, I’m aiming to read 25 books (and I’m already three in!). But you know what helps? Setting up good habits. Reading every day for even just 15 minutes brings me a little bit of joy—and a lot of progress towards my reading goals. (Plus, isn’t anything better than doomscrolling.)
Want in? We’re making it a mini club.
Ready to get to reading?
Read with me. Pick your favorite from my 2025 reading list:
Merry
Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she’s headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master’s in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.
Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:
LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company
BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story
ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline
SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone
MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life
LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life
My 2024 books-read tally isn’t all that impressive, though I like to tell myself that that’s because I also spend a lot of time reading magazines and articles that don’t make their way into my precious GoodReads tracker. (Plus, I’ll unnecessarily point out that one of the books I read in 2024 was almost 500 words, so surely that’s got to count for something?)
Then again, reading isn’t a numbers game. It’s for the art, the entertainment, the culture, the knowledge, and—above all—the pleasure.
Out of the 17 books I shelved this year (from fiction to philosophy to history), these are my top five:
Yes, I am super behind the times. I know everyone already read this book back in 2018 when it came out, but I’ve only just been bitten by the Sally Rooney bug.
And it was a quick case of obsession. I devoured this angsty, intoxicating novel in less than 48 hours. In true Merry Loner fashion, I stayed in one Friday night, made myself delicious gluten-free pasta with fresh tomato sauce, and drank far too much rosé while I cocooned under my favorite woolen blanket in my reading nook for hours on end, nose in book. No regrets.
I think I was finally called to read Normal People because I kept seeing Intermezzo in every bookshop window whenever I went outside for a walk (and every article and round-up whenever I did some doom-scrolling). So I’m working my way through the Sally Rooney bibliography: I’m currently reading Beautiful World, Where Are You? and Conversations with Friends is in the wings on my shelf.
I understand Sally Rooney is a bit of a controversial writer—the real, love-it-or-hate-it type. If you’ve read her books, which side are you on?
Last year, I fell in love with E.M. Forster after reading A Room With a View. I remember it well. It was a glorious April day. I sat outside on my balcony with my feet up on the flower boxes and my well-loved Roland-Garros straw hat keeping out the sun rays. Lucy was young, in love, and in Italy—and so was I (at least vicariously).
After breezing through this 1908 novel in just a few days, I promptly added it to my list of easiest classic novels to read—and then made it my mission to read Forster’s entire bibliography. Next up with his 1907 The Longest Journey.
I’ll be honest: This book is (apparently) widely considered to be Forster’s most inferior work in his otherwise illustrious literary career. Sure, this book takes place in rainy England instead of sunkissed Italy, but otherwise… I’m not getting the rebuff. My copy of The Longest Journey is laden with yellow marks (I highlight my favorite lines) and lovingly abused with dozens of dog-eared pages.
Is it a little depressing? Yes, but life is sad and then you die. So if you want a moody book that will make you ponder, consider this your next read.
This is a book I never would have picked out for myself. It recounts the truly devastating story of two sisters separated from each other by the horrors of the second world war. My summary will likely be insufficient, so here’s a better overview from Barnes & Noble:
Korea, 1943. Hana saves her younger sister from a Japanese soldier and is herself captured and transported to Manchuria. There she is forced to become a “comfort woman” in a Japanese military brothel.
South Korea, 2011. Emi has spent more than sixty years trying to forget the sacrifice her sister made, but she must confront the past to discover peace. Seeing the healing of her children and her country, can Emi move beyond the legacy of war to find forgiveness?
A friend gave me a copy of this book last year for my birthday, and while it’s something I never would have picked off the shelf by myself, it ended up being one of my most memorable reads of the year.
Fair warning: This definitely isn’t a beach read, and certain parts get pretty graphic. Nonetheless, or rather, for those reasons, this is a story worth telling.
My husband is a big fan of Slavoj Žižek, though while I’ve born witness to a fair number of memes and videos about the Slovenian philosopher, I hadn’t read any of his works before last year. So when my husband’s cousin gifted him this book for Christmas 2023, my curiosity got the better of me, and I stole it for the plan ride home.
It did not disappoint. I finished this collection of essays (just under 200 pages) in one day, and I’ve recommended it to several friends since.
You know how everyone is always talking about how terrible everything is and how the world is ending? (See my book recommendation #5.) Well, Žižek basically discusses ways we can course-correct (and, sadly, how we probably won’t).
P.S. If you find philosophy daunting, don’t! This short book reads like you’re having a chat with a mate over a beer. The words flow easily, but you’re still left with much to think about.
I believe this is the first book I read in 2024, and it left quite an impression on me. (Side note: I discovered this book via Seth MacFarlane’s Instagram, where (among Family Guy and Ted promo), the writer-actor-producer-singer I once overheard referred to as “The Elon Musk of the Arts” occasionally shares actually pretty good book recommendations.)
Anyway, in case you missed it: Climate change is slowly killing the planet—and soon, us too. (Yay.) But while floods, storms, and other natural disasters usually get the most press coverage, rising temperatures are also horrifically deadly. According to Goodell, we don’t pay nearly enough attention.
If you want to be empowered with facts to tell your friends, family, or the stranger in line next to you at the grocery store, this book won’t uplift but it will inform. And sometimes, that’s really what we all need.
It’s no big deal if you didn’t. Actually, 81% of Americans say, “I don’t read as much as I like to.” It’s easy to see why. Does anybody else feel like they’re absolutely drowning in a near-constant siege of notifications, emails, messages, and other screen-first activities that exhaust, annoy, and enrage?
There’s good news. In the same study, 85% said they believe reading is an investment in their well-being—and themselves. And 55% say they only need to read for at least 15 minutes to feel like they’ve accomplished something.
15 minutes a day. Come on—we can handle that.
If you want to join me in working on my reading goals for 2025 (this year, I’m aiming to read 25 books), then welcome. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 30-Day Reading Challenge, and let’s make it happen.
A Merry Loner’s 30-Day Reading Challenge
Daily accountability emails
A free reading tracker
Book recommendations
Hand-selected author quotes to get you in the literary spirit
