In times of trouble, I need books.
Hello, old friend. So we meet again. You’re never very far, are you? Whether it’s work struggles, family strife that is slowly making you develop an ulcer, or Big Bad Politics rearing its ugly head and taking your sanity and sense of joy with it, existential dread is a constant companion I just can’t seem to ghost.
I try to do the right things. I avoid listening to melancholy music (though to the gravely voice of Tom Waits I always return). I meditate. I do yoga. I buy fresh flowers, take luxurious bubble baths, grind my own coffee beans, and practice other analog rituals designed to help me slow down and live a less scattered, manic life.
Often, these things work.
Despite my frequent complaining (which I usually milk for comedic effect), I sometimes feel like the happiest person I know. Still, the icy fingers of existential dread (or is it a clammy clutch?) find their way back to me like a stray dog whining for scraps.
The scraps are my mental health. And sometimes it’s in short supply.
When old existential dread comes a-knockin’, I try to find solace in books—but not the fictional reads in which the monsters are manufactured, the endings endearing, and the characters’ flaws cathartic.
In times of trouble, I need poetry. Self-help books dressed up as philosophy. And yes, maybe even a novel or two—but they should be poignant enough to make me ponder.
Are you in times of trouble? I’m here for you—and so are my five go-to books for existential dread.
The shortlist: 5 books for existential dread to help you see the light again
1. Instructions for Traveling West — for feeding the beautiful beast in you that wants to sprint, hair streaming, through the wildflowers
2. The School of Life: An Emotional Education — for when you need to hear, “It’s all going to be okay.”
3. Magnificent Obsession — for when you need to remember that it’s never too late to change your life
4. Beautiful World, Where Are You — for when you need to remember that you’re not the only one wallowing
5. Yeats’s Poetry, Drama, and Prose — for when you need something beautiful to lighten the weight of the world
I’m superficial. When I enter a bookstore, I’m a bachelorette on the prowl, scanning the room to see just who may come home with me—potentially into my bed or maybe even the bath.
TLDR, I judge books by their covers. So when I strolled past the colorful spine of Joy Sullivan’s Instructions for Traveling West, the nostalgia in me swooned.
Years ago, I developed an alternate reality for myself in which I turned 40, got divorced, and moved to Montana to romantically live out my days on a horse ranch. (I recall having just bought a pair of Levi’s at the time.) Turns, out Sullivan’s book of poetry explores feelings not too dissimilar from those that inspired my imaginary mid-life crisis: dreams of a fantastical fleeing to seek a new life founded on freedom and beauty.
But let’s look at Sullivan’s words, which are much more eloquent than mine. The book flap reads:
“First, you must realize you’re homesick for all the lives you’re not living. Then, you must commit to the road and the rising loneliness. To the sincere thrill of coming apart.”
Hmm. “…the sincere thrill of coming apart”—that’s a doozy. I don’t know about you, but when it feels like your life is coming apart at the seams, thrilling is hardly the word I would use. More like gut-wrenching. Or panic-inducing. Or hand-wringing, the kind you do when you start praying to a God you didn’t know you believe in.
But then there’s poetry, and your wound finds the balm it needs.
Available at Bookshop.org
When this book came home with me, it was an instant all-nighter. I remember staying up late and reading it on the front stoop in my bathrobe like the crazy, unkempt woman my lace-up oxfords would never let you believe I really am.
I’m not sure exactly what led me to this book, but I know one thing: It was bought during The Sad Time, i.e., the period of depression that ate my early twenties and caused me to do such things as read at odd hours in my bathrobe on my front stoop.
It was worth the spectale. And as I recall reporting to a few curious passersby (I lived on a fairly busy street at the time), “Yes, it is worth the read.” I’ve since recommended The School of Life: An Emotional Education to a friend who was battling his own Sad Time. And now I recommend it to you.
Apparently, The School of Life is a media company with lots of articles and podcasts and videos to help you deal with daily traumas like work, relationships, and socializing.
I didn’t know that at the time. What I did know was this book felt like a wise, distant, older cousin whom you’ve really only met about six times in your life, but when you reconnect in your adulthood, they manage give you a philosophical pat on the back, releasing the tension you didn’t know was taking custody of your shoulders and whispering to your whole being:
“It’s all going to be okay.”
Available at Bookshop.org
Oh, this marvelous book. I’ve gone on record saying this is my favorite book of all time (just eeking past the formidable Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde),
I bought a beat-up old copy at a used bookstore on a whim and have read it several times since. I even sent my husband a copy in the mail when he was my long-distance boyfriend and we did cute things like that from time to time.
This 1929 tale recounts the existential crisis of a rich playboy (a real tragedy, I know) and his yearslong quest to make his life worth something.
The first time I read this book, I stayed up until all hours of the morning, so pressed was I to find out what became of our protagonist’s moral journey.
It’s incredible to think this book is almost one hundred years old, yet it still intrigues. It still inspires. And it still reminds us during dark times that no matter how rotten you think you might be—no matter what mistakes color your character—it is never too late to turn yourself into the person you wish you were.
Available at Bookshop.org
I’ve read every book Sally Rooney’s written. And I have news: She’s worth the hype.
Normal People was my first step into the Rooney universe, devoured during a stay-at-home Loner date with myself, a large bowl of pasta with fresh tomato sauce, and a bottle of rosé—and it made me a forever fan of the Irish writer’s works. But after reading each of her novels, my all-time favorite must be Beautiful World, Where Are You.
According to Rooney’s acknowledgements, the title of this book is a translation from Friedrich Schiller’s 1788 poem, The Gods of Greece (in the original German: Die Götter Griechenlandes)—a fact that really tells me nothing about the book itself but nonetheless heightens my intrigue.
In this novel, four youthful protagonists are dealing with The Sad Times. At frequent intervals, they will annoy you; they are not always characters you want to root for. But they translate a realness that many, rosier novels choose to overlook. And amidst all of this wallowing, their fictional tribulations make real-life existential dread seem just a little more surmountable—and the beautiful world, a little more identifiable.
Available at Bookshop.org
This is the book I take off my shelf when—when anything is happening, really.
When I’ve been working too much and need to remind myself of art and beauty.
When the world seems vapid and my spirit void, and I need a poet to lean on.
When I’m somewhere in that dreamy state of nostalgic melancholy and I want to hear such lines as:
“…Considering that, all hatred driven hence,
The soul recovers radical innocence
And learns at last that it is self-delighting,
Self-appeasing, self-affrighting,
And that its own sweet will is heaven’s will;
She can, though every face should scowl
And every windy quarter howl
Or every bellows burst, be happy still…”
This is just one excerpt from one poem (A Prayer for my Daughter) from one book—and yet it’s enough to lighten the load of the world that weighs upon us.
Available at Bookshop.org
Ready to tame the beast?
Give your mind some TLC. Grab a book for existential dread:
Conclusion: When the sky is falling, books are there
When doom-scrolling is killing your soul, frenemies are praying on your insecurities, family is suffocating you with expectations, or you’re having one of those days where the future looks bleak and empty of promise—turn to a book.
It won’t ask you to double-tap or subscribe. It won’t inquire about your romantic life or any developments in producing grandchildren. It won’t even talk back.
It will just be there when you need it. And even when you leave it, it will be waiting right where you left off when you’re ready to return.
Next Steps:
Pick one book that speaks to what you’re going through right now. Got the feels but don’t know what kind of feels? I recommend starting with The School of Life: An Emotional Education. It’s kind of an intellectual cure-all for all manner of yearning, woes, and wallowing.
Broaden your horizons with books on self-awareness. Often, existential dread and identity crises go hand in hand. Yay. Whether we’re zooming out and stressing about the whole world’s problems or we’re hyper-fixating on the details of our own lives, spiraling about one thing can quickly lead to spiraling about everything. Let books be your guiding light. Check out these 7 Best Books on Self-Awareness to help you quell the stress.
Let it all out on paper. Existential dread is often a whirlwind of emotions—and I don’t know about you, but anger can often make a grand appearnce. Let out that rage a healthy way with some introspective journaling. These 20 Journal Prompts for Anger are a helpful starting place.
Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.
Books for Existential Dread: Common FAQs
What are some good books to read when dealing with an existential crisis or identity issues?
Existential dread means a little something different for everybody. But if you’re really going through it and questioning whether or not you’re going down the right path in life, I love Magnificent Obsession by Lloyd C. Douglas. (In fact, it’s my all-time favorite book.)
It’s an inspiring tale about making mistakes, starting over, and realizing it’s never too late to change your life.
What are the best books for dealing with an existential crisis?
In times of emotional crisis, poetry can soothe like no other. I particularly like Joy Sullivan’s Instructions for Traveling West, a collection of poems written during the pandemic that “grapples with loss, loneliness and belonging.” If you feel like you’re searching but don’t know what you’re searching for, start here.
Which novels explore existential anxiety and how?
I have two favorite novels for helping me work through existential dread. Magnificent Obsession by Lloyd C. Douglas (my favorite book, by the way) starts with tragedy, shame, and regret and ends with a heartwarming reminder that it’s never too late to become the person you want to be.
Beautiful World, Where Are You by Sally Rooney deals with the existential dread and anxiety that sometimes seep into the everyday mundanity of life. It uplifts by reminding you that you’re not the only one going through a hard time.
Is existential dread normal?
Yes, it’s a normal part of the human experience—and you’re not weird or overly analytical for feeling this way sometimes. As beautiful as life can be, it’s also full of stressors, dangers, and fears.
Talking it out helps a lot. So does writing, journaling, dancing, painting, and lots of other creative activities that don’t include scrolling social media. Of course, I believe books for existential dread are a great way to help you decipher the chaos of life.
But if you need more help, please ask for it. If you’re in the USA, 9-8-8 is the national number for suicide prevention and mental health crises.
Does existential dread go away?
It depends. If you’re caught up by a whirl of emotions, you might just need a few nights to ride it out. Call a friend. Write in your journal. Listen to some moody music. Explore books that help you digest your feelings (I love classic novels for a reminder that no matter what’s happening right now, life goes on). Remember, curiosity and intellectual exploration are all good things!
But if you find yourself consumed by feelings of dread and they’re not going away, don’t ruminate alone. Please ask for help if you need it. That might mean confiding in a trusted one or scheduling a visit with your doctor. If you need immediate help, remember in the USA, 9-8-8 is the national number for suicide prevention and mental health crises.
How to fix existential dread?
It’s hard to “fix” existential dread in one fell swoop—especially when it feels like every day brings new headlines about the sky falling, the world burning, and society as we know it falling apart. But there are ways to manage the stress, worry, and philosophical malaise that weigh on us.
I’ve always believed books are a balm for the soul. If you have a yearning for poetry, you can’t go wrong with Yeats’s Poetry, Drama, and Prose. For something more contemporary, I recommend Instructions for Traveling West.
Novels for existential dread that I like include Beautiful World, Where Are You and Magnificent Obsession. And my recommendation for an all-around, help-my-soul kind of book is The School of Life: An Emotional Education.
Why do I have so much existential dread?
Feelings of existential dread can crop up when you’re going through big changes in your life, like starting a new job, moving, or ending a relationship. But it can also rear its head even in the more mundane moments, like if you’re unfulfilled at work or just realizing how quickly time passes.
But existential dread doesn’t always have to mean a crisis. It can be an awakening for deep thinking, self reflection, and a reckoning with the world around you—all good things. And whether you need to let it all out or take it all in, journaling and reading can help you process The Big Thoughts.
Merry
Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's halfway there.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.
Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:
LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company
BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story
ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline
SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone
MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life
LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life
