Staying focus-driven sometimes means staying misunderstood. 

From being the only person on her high school’s math olympics team to moving from Argentina to the U.S. during college to taking a months-long international solo trip in her early twenties, Giuliana Mendoza has always done things her way. And with an independent streak that sometimes takes you off the beaten path, comes the doubters, the naysayers, and the judges. 

In a conversation with A Merry Loner, Giuliana shares how she sets intentional goals, cultivates a resilient mindset, and sticks to her guns, no matter what the critics say. 

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Let’s talk about the months-long solo trip you took in your early twenties—what was that like? 

I will never forget when I traveled around Europe. I did meet up with some friends in certain cities, but I was mostly by myself. I was on this flight from Dublin to Rome, and I was telling [my seat neighbors] how I was planning on going to all these different places and I was doing it by myself for a month, and they were like, “That’s strange.” It wasn’t like, “Oh, be careful.” It was just like, “That’s very strange, and people will, like, judge you for being by yourself as a woman.” It was like, “Something’s wrong with you or whatever.” It was just funny to me. I remember that comment. It didn’t impact anything for me on that trip, but it was just a funny perspective to get. 

So I was by myself doing a lot of this traveling, and I think I’m very aware of my surroundings, so it never really occurred to me that I wasn’t safe. I think that’s one of the biggest questions I get from girls who are trying to go to Europe for the first time and might be thinking about solo traveling. They’re always concerned about safety.

“I’m ready to go. I’m ready to start exploring, and I don’t want to be held back [by] someone.”

I think in a sense, I’m grateful those things didn’t really cross my mind because maybe if I had been a little more cautious, I would have held back a little. But, yeah, I felt really safe, and I loved my time—just deciding what I wanted to do every day and not having anyone determine or have an influence on my plans. I think that was the biggest thing for me: I’m ready to go. I’m ready to start exploring, and I don’t want to be held back [by] someone.

There are some people who want to try solo travel, but they’re nervous. Like you said, maybe because of safety or just wondering what they would do by themselves. For example, eating alone at a restaurant is really scary for a lot of people—and restaurants are a huge part of travel. What advice could you give to people who are worried about traveling alone? 

I think one of the nice things about social media is that you can find a lot of inspiration. If you are someone who just doesn’t know how they would do this, sometimes it helps to see someone else doing it. There are a lot of solo travelers sharing their experiences and how they do it. I think that’s great. 

I think it’s great to ask for advice. If you know someone who has done it, just ask them for tips. I do that all the time. I remember, one of my friends at work, he came up to me recently, and he was like, “I want to thank you for encouraging me to go to Ireland by myself.” He was like, “I fell in love with Ireland, and I would have never done if you weren’t, like, ‘Just go by yourself!’” I remember him coming up to me and being like, “oh, I wanna go, but nobody wants to come with me” or “it’s hard to plan with another friend.” And I was like, “Just go by yourself.” I’ve been to Ireland by myself many times, and it’s such a great country to explore by yourself.

To hear that that was all he needed to do it, it meant a lot to me. And I remember, last year, we went to hibachi, and this other family sat next to us. This girl was saying she’d been dying to go to Europe, and I said, “You should totally go by yourself.” I ended up becoming friends with her on Instagram, and I saw a couple weeks ago, she posted this whole, like, gratitude post about how much growth she’s experienced traveling around Italy by herself. And I was just like, “Yay, she did it!” But she was really scared.

Was your Europe trip your first time traveling by yourself? 

It was my first big trip. Definitely not my first time doing any kind of travel by myself. Actually, right after I graduated, I went to California by myself.

I was kind of a geek in high school; I was in the math Olympics. And I was the only person in my school that was part of the math Olympics. So every time I got to travel for that, it was just me. I was used to staying in the hotel by myself—and my mom never came along on those [trips] because I had my [younger] sister. So I did that kind of on my own. 

Was it scary for you at first to travel by yourself? Or was it always no big deal for you? 

I think I’ve always been a little independent. I’ve always had, kind of, this entrepreneurial mindset, as well. I’ve always saved my own money, which allows you to do the things that you want to do without having to ask for permission. Like say, if the school wasn’t funding the math Olympics or whatever, I could be like, “Well, I’ll fund myself.” Things like that.

I think there’s a lot of freedom that comes with having that type of personality and perspective. I was always like that from a young age. 

And this was back in Argentina, right? When did you move to the US? 

After I did at least two years of college. I was two weeks short of turning 21. [I was living with my dad,] but as soon as I got my job, I moved out. And I didn’t have any roommates, which also was weird. People were like, “You don’t have any roommates? What do you mean you don’t have any roommates?” And I was like, “I just want to live by myself. I can afford to do that, and it works for me. I don’t need any roommates.” 

I had grown up sharing a room with my sister—she was kind of my roommate, and she stayed back in Argentina. So then it was just like, “Okay. I’m out of that roommate phase because my sister’s not here, and now I’m just on my own.” 

When you moved to the US, your dad was already here, but that’s still a very big move to do at a fairly young age. What were some of the fears or excitement you had? 

I was very excited. I was ready for the life that I knew I could have in the US. I think the whole college experience was a little scary, especially because I had never gone to school in English. I had done everything through high school in Argentina in Spanish, and then I had started college in Spanish. So coming here—even though I was bilingual—coming here and having to write papers in English and do all of my schooling in English was something that definitely felt a little scary. But I knew I could do it. 

I even remember the whole application process. I was very blessed to get a full scholarship to URI, and that required a lot of extra steps to get funding. So it wasn’t just me applying to school; it wasn’t just me transferring and getting validation for my classes that I had already taken. It was also me trying to get the money that I needed to afford school here. I had to take everything one step at a time, and that’s just how I felt about the school experience once I got here. It was like, “Okay, one class at a time. We’ll see how everything goes, so don’t overwhelm yourself.”

It sounds very overwhelming—the move, the paperwork, everything. And you were doing that all by yourself. People can get really overwhelmed sometimes and just want to give up. What advice can you give to someone who feels like they’re facing too many obstacles and doesn’t even want to try anymore? 

Just to keep your goal in mind and why you’re doing [it]. That was always top of mind for me. Just reminding myself what was at the finish line and that everything was going to be worth it. I think I do that in everything in my life. When you see the big picture, you understand that everything else is just something that gets you closer to that.

It does require you to be super focused and disciplined, but it’s okay to take breaks when you need to or to. I think a lot of people, they’re like, “Oh, I have to knock this out,” or they overwhelm themselves. But you don’t have to. If you give yourself time, you can just [go] step by step and switch gears a little bit if you need to and to come back to it. 

You’re such a doer. You’ve got a very demanding job in tech, and you’re also doing projects on the side, like working with Beautycounter for more ethical cosmetic manufacturing. What gives you your drive?

Passion. I think when you find something you love, it just doesn’t feel extra. It doesn’t feel like work. I know there’s a lot of cheesiness around that, but I think it’s just something I really enjoy—and I try to find things that feel that way. Right? And if they don’t, it’s okay to admit that to yourself. 

“It’s okay to say no to something that you might have started and that no longer lights you up.”

I think I’ve seen people start things and then be like, “Oh, now I’m stuck with this project or something that I started, and I’m not really feeling passionate about it anymore.” It’s okay to say no to something that you might have started and that no longer lights you up. I think I’m really good at that. I’m really good at focusing on the things that bring me joy.

One of the reasons I started my work with Beautycounter was the advocacy work. I think it’s just so meaningful. Again, there’s this big picture. So when it’s hard to squeeze in the things that I’m trying to do for that advocacy work, I just remind myself, “Oh, this is gonna help [someone.]” I think I’ve been lucky to feel inspired and do things that bring me joy. 

I think an important component is being self-assured, especially if you get a little pushback. I’m sure you’ve heard all the controversies about MLMs [multi-level marketing businesses] and how they’re a scam. Do you ever get negative feedback? How do you continue working on something that’s important to you when people are criticizing it? 

I think that’s why it’s so important to have conviction about the work you’re doing. I don’t care about [other people’s] opinions about my life or the work that I do. And I think with Beautycounter, it is a little easier because we are very different. We’re a B corp. I think there are only two brands in this space that are certified B corporations, so I always felt that Beautycounter was so different, and it was easy for me to speak to that when people had differing opinions.

I think in everything in this world, people might have opinions, and they just might not be informed, you know? They might have had a bad experience. I always felt it was part of my job to educate and to make sure that if someone is going to have an opinion that at least they have the right information to form that opinion. 

I think having a strong sense of conviction and self confidence comes a lot more naturally for some people than it does for others. What advice could you give someone who has something that’s important to them that they want to work on, but they’re having a hard time staying the course when they get negative feedback from others? 

Mel Robbins has this theory. It’s called the “Let Them” theory. It’s basically, like, let people think what they want to think. Let them do whatever. You stay focused. I think, like you said, it is harder for some people to not feel the weight of other people’s opinions. But I think it has to do a lot with mindset—and mindset is something that you work on, right?

“Let people think what they want to think. Let them do whatever. You stay focused.”

I think reading certain authors and listening to podcasts and kind of shifting the way your mind works makes you more confident. Even, like, the most badass founders out there are scared, have gotten a ton of no’s, have gotten doors shut in their faces—but they just kept going. If you don’t have that already, you have to make that shift.

It’s like that old saying: “You are who and what you surround yourself with.” When you change what you’re consuming every day, it really changes the way you think. Do you have any recommendations? 

I really like Simon Sinek. He has a couple books: Start with Why; Leaders Eat Last. And I just started Confessions of a Female Founder. I’m probably going to listen to every episode from that one because she’s [Meghan Markle] going to have different female founders, sharing their entrepreneurial experience. 

I think something that also really helps with that is taking some alone time to reflect, refocus on your priorities, and recharge a little. I’m that way—I’m quite social, but I really need my alone time to come back to myself. What are your favorite ways to recharge? 

I’m really big on self care. Red light therapy, skin care. I feel like those are just little rituals in your day where you can just take time off. I have a Lumebox, and I basically just sit in front of it for twenty minutes at the end of the day. It’s like my time to just sit there with my thoughts and let the light hit me. 

And then my skin care because I’m taking care of myself, and I think there’s something about connecting with your body and massaging yourself and things like that. And it’s a little ritual and something that you do for yourself. When you are a mom and you’re caring for little ones, it’s like, “Okay. This is my time” I also take long, hot showers. I find it just very calming, and I have eucalyptus in my shower—I love it. Just enjoying that hot shower and that me time. 

For some people, enjoying that alone time can actually be quite difficult. In those moments where you’re alone, instead of recharging, you can have a feeling of FOMO or “I should be doing something productive instead of relaxing.” What advice would you give someone to learn to appreciate alone time more? 

I think we need it. I think it’s important, and I choose to make it a priority because of how it recharges me. I think one of the issues with society, like you just said, is that we need to feel productive. 

And sometimes rest is productive. Sometimes rest is more productive than you doing something. So you might have FOMO or you might have guilt because you’re not making progress on something. It’s like when you were studying for exams in school, and you’re thinking, “Oh, my gosh. If I take a one-hour break, I should be studying during this time.” But now you’re going to be so much more focused because you took that one hour to rest, recharge, take a hot shower, take a break from studying, and then come back to it. And I think that is so much more valuable than not taking that time. 

Recommended Reading:

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• How to Balance Solitude and a Social Life: A Dual Guide for Introverts & Extroverts
• How to Get Over Yourself and Go to that Damn Wedding, Gloriously Solo

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