There’s no need to fear. In fact, I think it’s time to change what it means to be a “loner.”
When was the last time you took yourself out to dinner? Or went on a weekend getaway by yourself? Or just went to the movies alone? (OK, I know nobody goes to the movies anymore … )
If so (or if not), would you consider yourself a loner? And is that a good thing?
When you Google the word “loner,” the first thing that comes up is the Oxford English Dictionary, which says a loner is “a person who avoids company and prefers to be alone.”
Next, WebMD says pretty much the same thing: “Being a loner means that you would prefer to be by yourself rather than with others.”
At least Wikipedia (my love) gives the term “loner” a bit more nuance: “a person who does not seek out, actively avoids, or fails to maintain interaction with other people.”
All in all, the Internet seems to agree that being a loner is a bad thing—that it means you’re some kind of anti-social freak who hates being around people.
I strongly disagree. The word “loner” shouldn’t have a negative connotation.
Frankly, I’m really sick of everyone thinking being alone is just about the worst possible thing that could happen to you.
Think about it:
Being a loner.
Being lonely.
Being on your own.
They don’t have good connotations, do they?
Don’t get me wrong: I’m in no way an advocate for social isolation.
For one, I like people. I love a good party. I love spending time doing nothing with my friends. And to be honest, I know that I’m usually a little verbose.
Plus, it’s clear that spending too much time alone is bad for us—even bad for our health.
This 2013 study “revealed that social isolation predicted mortality for both genders, as did smoking and high blood pressure,” concluding that “the strength of social isolation as a predictor of mortality is similar to that of well-documented clinical risk factors.” [Source: PubMed Central]
The dangers of social isolation are such a problem that “in 2018, the U.K. appointed a minister for loneliness and Loneliness Awareness Week was introduced to encourage people to ‘fill their lives with new friends and experiences.’” [Source: University of California San Francisco]
ICYMI: Both of these studies were conducted BEFORE the COVID-19 pandemic, when the world started paying a lot of attention to the risks of isolation and loneliness. Since then, things have obviously gotten a lot worse:
A 2021 survey of 2,496 U.S. adults determined that more than half (58%) of U.S. adults are considered lonely. [Source: The Cigna Group]
Even the Surgeon General is sounding the alarm, releasing a report in May 2023 to “[call] attention to the public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection in our country [the U.S.]” [Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services]
So, yeah. Social isolation is definitely a bad thing.
But you know what’s also a problem? Being too afraid to ever do anything by yourself.
You know what I mean:
That friend who’s never been single for more than 2 months since they were in high school
That family member who won’t get on a plane by themselves
That co-worker who won’t take a break and eat lunch in the company kitchen by themselves
Of course, to each his own. I’m not trying to single anyone out or judge them.
What if being a loner is the secret key to finding happiness?
I’ve always been a bit of a loner. (And no, it’s not because I’m an anti-social freak who hates being around people. Thanks for asking, though.)
Instead, there are two main reasons why I’m a loner:
I genuinely enjoy doing things on my own.
I don’t feel uncomfortable being by myself.
Let me explain.
Back in the day, when I lived in an apartment in Providence, Rhode Island with three roommates, one of my favorite parts of the week was taking myself to the local pub around the corner with a couple of books and perhaps my journal where I would sit, read, daydream, and ponder the night away with just me, a couple of pints, and a cheeseburger.
(That and Sunday morning, when I did more or less the same thing but diner-style with a newspaper and/or The Economist, a veggie omelet, and some burnt coffee.)
To me, solo time is a luxurious reprieve from the chaotic world. So why do so many people think it’s weird?
So many times, I would
walk into a restaurant and ask for a table for one
travel for the weekend by myself
show up at a party without a date or a friend
…there would be a prolonged silence, and then:
“Good for you.”
“Wow, that’s so brave.”
“I could never do that.”
Huh?
I just don’t get it. What is so scary about being alone? What is so horrifying about the very thought of doing something by yourself? And (even more outrageous) being comfortable and at ease while doing it?
Maybe this is how you feel.
Maybe you’re afraid of being seen as a loner because that also means being a misfit, an outcast, and an anti-social weirdo. (And that’s certainly the case if you listen to what the Oxford English Dictionary and WebMD have to say.)
Who has read Atomic Habits by James Clear? I can’t raise my hand just yet, though I am a frequent reader of his 3-2-1 Newsletter in which he shares three of his own ideas, two quotes, and one question to ponder.
Many of the newsletter musings harken back to the theme of habits: how to create good habits and how to kill the bad ones.
Since I’m a big fan of lists and daily routines and most things related to self-improvement, you can bet that building good habits and habit tracking is right up my alley!
Plus, I just turned 27, so I’m definitely starting to feel the looming cloud of Turning 30 and all its rude questions like, “Do you have your shit together?” “Are you on a road to failure?” “Have you been wasting your 20s on useless endeavors?”
The usual, you know.
But while I do truly believe that life doesn’t end at 30 and that we can continuously recreate, redefine, and reinvent ourselves, it does help if you’ve got at least some things in your life running efficiently on autopilot in the background.
Enter the art of creating good habits—the ultimate snowball effect for personal growth.
It doesn’t have to be so hard. You can start today working on developing one new good habit—and then reap its benefits for all the weeks, months, and years you continue.
Whether you’re a young 20-something just dipping your toe into the world of adulthood or you’re rapidly approaching the 30-year-old milestone and you’re starting to panic, today is a great time to start.
4 Good Habits to Develop in Your 20s for Your Physical Health
Ever heard the saying, “Health is wealth”?
It may be a cliché, but it sure is true. Despite all those horrifying stories of billionaires trying to extend their lifetime with crazy diet and fitness routines, we’re all equal in one regard: We only get one body, one life.
And even though you may feel young, strong, and invincible when you’re in your 20s, the day will eventually come when your skin starts to sag, your energy levels start to drop, and you start making that sighing noise whenever you get into or out of a chair. (And that’s if you’re lucky enough to grow old!)
TLDR; take care of your body because you only get one.
Here are 5 habits to develop in your 20s for your physical health:
1. Establish an exercise routine
The sooner the better. And no—it doesn’t really matter what it is. I’ve read countless articles with experts all quoted saying pretty much the same thing: The best exercise is the one you’ll actually do.
So the next time someone tells you your workout is worthless because you’re not doing this exact, precise thing at the gym, you can tell them to kindly mind their own business. Basically, anything that gets your heart pumping and your body moving will do the trick. [Source: Harvard Health Publishing]
Personally, I’m all about yoga, pilates, and cycling. I try to do one of the above five times a week. Sometimes it’s three times a week. Sometimes it’s six. But I find that (like most habits) the more I do it, the more my body and my mind crave it.
If you’re not a gym rat—no worries. Neither am I. There’s plenty you can do to get your body moving and your heart rate pumping without running nowhere on a machine under a fluorescent light like you’re in some kind of chilling dystopia.
Instead, here are a few different types of exercise you can try if you don’t like the gym:
Swimming
Rock-climbing
Kayaking
Tai chi
Jumping rope
Jumping on a trampoline
Hiking
Roller-skating
Dancing
2. Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning
Here’s a horrifying statistic: Apparently, 47% of Americans don’t drink enough water. [Source: CivicScience]
I don’t think I have to tell you the many ill side effects of dehydration, like disease, dizziness, and confusion. [Source: Mayo Clinic] It’s no shock that not drinking enough water will start to make you feel like crap.
But—are you drinking enough water in the morning?
Up until recently, I didn’t. I would wake up, maybe have a sip or two of water, and then move on with my day.
And then complain later that I was always thirsty. (I know, it seems pretty pathetic in hindsight.)
But last winter, I tried something different. In the dead of the dark and cold when I forced myself out from under the warm covers, the first thing I did was chug an entire glass of water. And no kidding—that’s exactly what my body was craving. After hydrating first thing in the morning, my body is awake, energized, and ready to go.
This may be painfully obvious for some of you. But if you fall into the camp of people NOT drinking enough water (apparently, that’s 47% of us), then consider trying this trick.
It may just make your early mornings a lot less painful.
3. Don’t skip doctor’s appointments (yes, you’ll have to schedule them yourself)
I’m looking at you, you who hasn’t been to the dentist in the last two years.
When we’re younger (if we’re lucky), many of us have parents/caregivers who are responsible for making sure we stay on top of all our doctors’ appointments. But once you’re out there in the big, wide world all on your own, Mom stops picking up the phone to pencil in your biannual dentist appointment. (Or, at least, she certainly should.)
Of course, having healthcare and the means to pay for it is its own whole thorny subject, and I’m not going down that rabbit hole in this blog post.
Instead, I’m here to give you a friendly reminder (once again) that health is wealth and that proactive healthcare (i.e., seeing your doctor(s) regularly) is NOT something you want to skip out on.
Consider this: Preventive care can help catch early signs of conditions (like high blood pressure or high cholesterol) that could lead to bigger problems down the road. [Source: Temple Health]
Plus, remembering to keep your regular doctors’ appointments can help you save money! After all, if you can catch a small problem before it becomes a big one, you can stay away from larger health bills. [Source: Chicago Booth Review]
So don’t sleep on this one. This is one of the top habits to develop in your 20s—and keep throughout your life.
Of course, you know you better than I do. (And spoiler: I’m not a health professional.) So the specific appointments you need to keep is a conversation you need to have with yourself and your doctor(s). But in most cases, typical annual doctors’ appointments you may want to keep include:
General physician
Dentist (biannually)
Gynecologist (for the ladies)
Eye doctor
Every time you go, make an appointment right then and there for next year and put it in your calendar.
4. Start a simple skin care routine
Just as your body will thank you later in life for exercising regularly, your skin will thank you later in life for loving it every day with a special skin care routine.
Don’t panic. You don’t have to do anything crazy. (Unless you want to.)
The Internet is certainly ripe with literally millions of videos, blogs, and pictures of skin care routines with an incredibly dizzying array of products, products, products.
You do not need them all. (Unless you want them.)
Instead, there are really only three things you need to do to your skin every day for optimal health:
Wash. (You really only need to do this at the end of the day.)
Moisturize. (Twice daily. At night is most important.)
Wear SPF. (Every single day whether it’s rain or shine.)
If your head is swimming and you have no idea where to begin, I recommend you stay off of TikTok and Instagram. That’s only going to make things more confusing (and more clickbait-y).
Instead, here are two very good resources for skin care health, both of whom back up everything they say with scientific articles: Marie Veronique and Beautypedia.
Specifically, I recommend Marie Veronique’s5 Steps to Skin Health for introductory reading.
My favorite skin care brands are:
Kora Organics
KlarSkin
Marie Veronique
M
More recommendations on how to make your life better?
Yes, please. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s newsletter to get the latest in your inbox.
4 Important Habits to Learn in Your 20s for Your Mental Health
Exercise. Drink Water. Make regular doctor’s appointments. Eat healthy. These are all good habits to develop in your 20s for long-term physical health. But as we’re all (thankfully) starting to realize as a society, mental health is just as important.
Here are some of the most important habits to develop in your 20s for mental health:
1. Make mental health a priority
First things first, get used to making mental health a priority in your life. Easier said than done, right?
I get it. We’re all busy. Between managing work, staying active, and trying to maintain any kind of social schedule, adult life feels like one big hamster wheel that’s constantly running at maximum speed.
(Maybe that’s why the melting face emoji is now a thing? ????)
26% said they expected more stress in the new year
So, what can you do to start improving your mental health today?
It doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few simple ways to help you prioritize your mental health on the regular:
Make journaling a daily habit: Even five minutes or five written lines can be enough. Feeling stuck? Try out some journaling prompts to help you get started.
Practice self-care: It might be feel a little silly, but that’s kind of the point. Self-care activities are supposed to give you a little respite from otherwise hectic, stressful days.
Get lost in a good book: We all need a break from reality sometimes. Instead of scrolling for 30 minutes and feeling like a piece of shit afterwards, why not try picking up a book? If the idea of bookworm-ing is stressing you, start with something easy, like one of these classic novels for beginners.
2. Limit your social media use
It’s not just your annoying aunt complaining. Social media really is bad for your mental health. Even the Surgeon General is coming out and saying it.
All of these factors are particularly a threat for teenage girls. (!!!)
Think you’re better at critical thinking than teenagers are? Sorry, adults also fall prey to the dangers of social media.
Just look at the COVID States Project, where 5,000 adults with an average age of 56 from all 50 states were surveyed; as reported in Harvard Magazine, “those who used Snapchat, Facebook, and TikTok were more likely to report symptoms of depression.” [Source: Harvard Magazine]
Bottom line: Learning how to limit your social media use is one of the best habits to develop in your 20s for good mental health.
So, what to do instead of doom-scrolling? Try this:
Read a book (paper is better)
Go for a walk
Meditate
Take a quick nap
Play checkers with a friend
Learn to knit, crochet, cross-stitch, etc.
Color in a coloring book
Take up painting (it doesn’t have to be a masterpiece!)
3. Develop a reading habit
I was one of those kids growing up who could easily read a book a week. Even when I was older and studying in college, I still always made time for recreational reading.
But once you get out of that student mindset, it can be harder to fit regular reading into your busy “adulting” schedule.
But it’s important. And I don’t think I need to make a case for the fact that reading is good for your brain. So instead, I’ll just tease you with a few fun statistics (I can’t help myself):
I know. The term self-care is pretty lame sounding. But I think there’s a reason behind all the hype. (And I’m trying to ignore the cynic in me that says the huge marketing push behind self-care is just to sell us things…)
Anyway. Truly, taking time to spend on yourself is hugely important.
Not convinced? The University of Alabama at Birmingham had an interesting conversation with Sumayah Abed, M.D. and Kaylee Crockett, Ph.D. on why self-care is important for your health.
Best of all, self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. It could be as simple as lighting a candle that smells good, going for a walk, or just taking a nap. These are all easy, affordable (or even free) things you can do on a daily basis—or just when you need a self-care pick-me-up.
If you want to add more self-care into your life, but you’re at a loss for what to do—you’re in luck. I spent the time writing a huge list with a whopping 100 self-care ideas just for you.
The best daily habit? Reading.
Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 30-Day Reading Challenge, and let’s make better habits, together.
Daily accountability emails
A free reading tracker
Book recommendations
Hand-selected author quotes to get you in the literary spirit
5 Healthy Habits to Start in Your 20s for Your General Wellbeing
Taking care of your physical health and your mental health are obviously good ideas—both in your 20s, younger, and beyond.
But we are complex beings with complex needs. In other words, there’s a lot more to get out of life than just exercising, eating your vegetables, and remembering to go on your stupid little mental health walk.
Here are five more good habits to develop in your 20s to improve your general wellbeing:
1. Wake up early
Not to sound super lame, but you know what? My grandparents were right. It IS nice to wake up early in the morning.
For example, last week I signed up for a yoga class at 8:00 AM on a Monday. Naturally, by Sunday evening, I was regretting what I’d done and dreading waking up in the cold, dark hours, extricating myself from my cozy blanket, and biking in the morning bleakness to my local yoga studio.
Somehow, I managed to convince myself to do it anyway.
And I was really glad I did. When I walked out of the yoga studio at 9:15, the sun was shining and so was I. I was full of energy, all stretched out and limber, and walking down the street in a sparklingly good mood.
(I don’t know about you, but my favorite time of day to walk through the city is during the morning hours. It’s quiet, calm, and clear. And it makes me feel relaxed and happy, rather than feeling like I’m crawling through the rat race with my plebeian peers down in the metro.)
After yoga, I went to a cafe, indulged in a delicious cappuccino while reading for a bit, and was back at home, showered, and ready to work by 10:30.
Obviously, I don’t do this every day because I can be really lazy. But I’m trying to get better at it, because learning to wake up early (at least somewhat regularly) is probably one of the best habits to develop in your 20s.
2. Explore hobbies
Once again, I feel like an old man saying this one, but I think this is one of those highly underrated habits to develop in your 20s.
When you’re a kid and then later maybe a student, it feels like you’re constantly learning new things. (For one, you’re literally in school.) But beyond that, you might be taking after-school classes, playing sports, learning musical instruments, discovering new languages, etc.
And then most people promptly forget all these extracurricular activities until they reach their Golden Years, get bored in retirement, and sign up for a bunch of classes at the local rec hall.
But what about all the years in the middle?
TLDR: Make it a priority to keep up with your hobbies as an adult.
But why, though?
Well, it’s fun. And if that’s not enough to convince you, consider this:
One study reveals that participants who “engag[ed] in leisure” (AKA doing things you enjoy AKA having a hobby) had better moods, less stress, and lower heart rates. Meanwhile, related studies reveal that leisure activities are associated with:
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not a big cook.
But anyone who knows me also knows that I very rarely order takeout (which is partly because I’m a huge cheapskate).
What’s my point?
Not enjoying cooking is no excuse for not knowing how to cook. As you near thirty, you really don’t want to be one of those people who barely knows how to make pasta. It’s lame. It’s embarrassing. And it’s downright expensive.
I’m not suggesting you spend your time learning how to become an impressive home cook. I’m not even saying you have to learn to love cooking. But you should at least know how to cook a few basic, healthy recipes without having to spend 30 minutes Googling.
For example, I’m really lazy in the kitchen, so my quick go-tos are:
Roasted vegetables: Because roasted vegetables taste like candy. And roasting requires very little hands-on time in the kitchen.
Tacos: Because who doesn’t like tacos? Again. They’re healthy, cheap, and require very little effort.
Soup: This one takes a little more hands-on time, but I find it relaxing. Put on a good podcast. Pour a glass of wine. Chop all the veggies. Then basically do nothing while they simmer on the stove. Healthy, cheap, and requires very little effort. (Sensing a theme?)
Now, for recipe inspiration from someone who actually knows what the hell they’re talking about, I invite you to check out my friend Ally’s food blog, Nigella Eats Everything.
4. Contribute to the community
Because nobody likes a selfish son of a bitch.
But really, though.
And if you are a little selfish (Aren’t we all, sometimes?), then consider this. Volunteering can contribute to:
Lower rates of depression and anxiety
Reduced stress
More feelings of meaning (Don’t we all need that?)
Maybe you did a little (obligatory) volunteering when you were in college. But are you still volunteering as an adult? According to AmeriCorps’ biannual survey, an estimated 23.2% of Americans (i.e., 60.7+M people) formally volunteered between September 2020 and 2021.
I’ll be honest: I wasn’t one of them. But this is one of my goals for the year and another one of those good habits to develop in your 20s that I’m trying to make stick.
5. Start making and tracking goals
Speaking of goals. When life gets busy, it’s easy to feel like we’re just going through the motions. Then, suddenly you wake up one day and you realize years of your life have passed you by and you were on autopilot the whole time.
This is what I call passive living versus active living.
Passive living is when you kind of just go with the flow. You don’t actively make decisions about where you live, what you do for work, who you spend time with, etc. You just kind of roll with the punches.
The problem is, when you live passively and fail to make any concrete decisions, your life becomes the side effect of what’s going on around you. It isn’t something you chose.
Whereas with active living, you are actively taking control of your life. You reflect upon, decide, and take action to:
Live where you want
Do what you want
Be with whom you want
In the end, your life is something you created—and something you chose.
To do this, you need to pay attention to what’s going on around you and make goal-setting a part of your regular routine.
A Final Thought on Building Habits in Your 20s
Habits are hard to break. So make them good ones. Over the years, I’ve gotten pretty good at implementing most of the habits on this list—but I’m obviously not good at staying on top of all of them.
This year, I want to prioritize reading more, journaling more frequently, and volunteering.
What habits do you want to work on developing this year?
Before You Go …
When you think about habits to develop in your 20s, it doesn’t always seem so fun. Habits can feel like mundane chores that we (try to) force ourselves to do on the regular, like emptying the dishwasher or changing the sheets on the bed.
But habits can be fun things, too. Actually—they should be fun things. Particularly if you’re feeling stressed, burnt out, or just down in the dumps. That’s why it’s important to make self-care one of those habits you develop in your 20s—and stick with for life. If you need inspiration for cheap and/or free self-care activities, please read my next article to discover 100 things to do for self-care.
I can be quite a hothead sometimes. Call it passionate or strong-willed, and maybe it sounds a little bit better. But it’s still one of the main things I’m trying to work on in the realm of self-development. We all get angry sometimes, though. And suppressing those incensed feelings is certainly not the way to a happy mind and healthy relationships.
While we can’t always whip out a notebook and start writing down all our emotions in the heat of the moment, journaling can be a really useful tool to turn to for help managing anger, resentment, frustration, and all the other dark-cloud, daggers-in-the-eyes feelings that sometimes rise to the surface.
Whether you’re stewing in white-hot rage from something that happened earlier today or you’re still feeling the burn of what you pretend is a long-forgotten argument, anger writing prompts can help.
But first, why even consider turning to pen and paper when you’re feeling angry? Well, it obviously beats the other options:
Banging your head against the wall
Breaking something
Yelling at someone
Screaming into the abyss
Burying the angry feelings deep down and pretending they don’t exist—only to be revealed years later in arduous (expensive) therapy
In comparison, taking a few minutes to respond to some anger journal prompts sure seems like the better choice, right? Here are a few benefits of journaling for anger management:
1. It reduces stress
Journaling is an easy way to let out all your emotions without causing a dumpster fire. After all, no one’s going to read what you write, so you can release all the nasties without hurting someone else or burning bridges.
This makes journaling a great, risk-free way to express your emotions. In turn, you’ll also reduce your stress load. According to James Pennebaker, Ph.D., psychologist and Professor Emeritus of Psychology at University of Texas at Austin, repressing emotions leads to stress. And nobody wants that—so get journaling. [Source: Duke Health]
2. It helps you identify your triggers
If you make journaling for anger management your go-to response for dealing with frustrating situations, overtime you can actually become better at managing your feelings.
How? When you regularly write your feelings in a journal, you can begin to pinpoint the situations, people, etc. that trigger your anger. Then, you can develop tactics to help you keep your cool the next time you find yourself in a situation that makes you want to pull your hair out. [Source: Mental Health America]
3. It improves your emotional intelligence
Those angry feelings may be coming in hot—but that doesn’t always mean they’re easily identifiable. You know the feeling when you’re angry or frustrated about something … but you don’t really know why?
Journaling can help. By taking the time to slow down, really process your thoughts, and write it all out, you can get a better understanding of your own strengths, weaknesses, and behaviors. And being fully aware of your emotions is the first step in learning how to better control them—so they don’t control you. [Source: University of St. Augustine for Health Sciences]
More recommendations on how to live your life better?
Yes, please. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s newsletter to get the latest in your inbox.
10 Journal Prompts for Anger
I know—when your blood is starting to boil, turning quietly to your journal isn’t usually the first instinct. So if find yourself staring at a blank page and silently fuming, whip out one of these anger journal prompts.
Don’t like the first one? No worries—just move on to the next. I’m all about the options.
Here are 10 journal prompts for anger that you can use any time, anywhere:
1. Reflect on a recent situation that made you angry.
How did you handle the situation?
Why do you think you responded that way?
Could you have responded differently?
2. Write a letter to someone who has caused you anger or hurt in the past.
What did you say to them in the moment that you wish you hadn’t?
What did you NOT say to them in the moment that you wish you had?
What do you need (if anything) to move on from feelings of anger or hurt?
3. Imagine yourself in a peaceful and serene place.
Describe a scene that makes you feel calm and comfortable.
Why does it make you feel that way?
What can you do to recreate even a small part of that scene in your real life today?
4. Describe a healthy outlet or activity that helps you release anger.
How do you feel after doing this activity?
Why do you think it helps you release your anger?
Is it possible to do this activity more often?
5. Reflect on a time when you successfully managed your anger.
What made you feel angry at the time?
How did you respond? Why do you think it worked?
Can you do this again the next time you feel angry?
6. Write a dialogue between your angry self and your rational self.
What does your angry self want to tell your rational self?
What does your angry self think your rational self doesn’t understand?
How can your rational self help your angry self?
7. Create a gratitude list of things or people that bring you joy and happiness.
Do these things and/or people help relax you?
Can you return to this list every time you get angry?
How can you remember this list in times of anger?
8. Reflect on the long-term consequences of holding onto anger.
What does being angry do for you?
Is there something you feel angry about that you want to let go?
What will holding onto a grudge do to you in the long term?
9. Write a fictional story that symbolizes your anger.
Who are the characters?
What is their struggle?
Do they resolve their problems? Can they?
10. Imagine yourself having a compassionate conversation with someone who causes you stress, anger, or hurt.
Do they know they’re making you feel this way?
Do they intend to make you feel this way?
How are you making them feel?
5 Journal Prompts for Resentment
Oh, resentment. She’s a nasty beast. Not to get all Merriam-Webster on you, but let’s first go over exactly what the word means. This dictionary defines resentment as: “a feeling of indignant displeasure because of something regarded as a wrong, insult, or other injury.”
Ouch. Nobody likes to feel wronged or insulted. (And when we feel that way, it often brings out the very worst in ourselves.)
Let’s try to put a lid on it. Or rather, better understand it with these five journal prompts for resentment:
1. Reflect on a specific situation or person that you feel resentful towards.
Why do you feel resentful towards them?
How long have you been feeling this resent?
What do you need to let it go?
2. Identify three positive qualities or lessons you can draw from the situation or person that caused resentment.
Did you learn anything from them?
How has this situation helped you grow?
If you could get a do-over of the situation, what would you do differently, if anything?
3. Write a letter to the person you resent.
Do they know how you feel?
Do you want them to know how you feel?
When will you see them again?
4. Write a letter to yourself, forgiving yourself for holding onto resentment.
Why are you holding onto resentment?
Are you ready to let go?
What do you need to let go?
5. Imagine a scenario where you have completely let go of resentment.
How does this scenario make you feel?
Do you want to realize this scenario?
If so, how can you make it happen?
5 Journal Prompts for Frustration
Have you ever been so frustrated that you’ve thrown a wooden spoon across the room? No? Just me. Okay, then. (Maybe that makes me sound like a total crazy person, but I: 1) was really angry; 2) wanted to release my anger with something that made a clatter; 3) didn’t want to break and/or hurt anything and/or anyone (or clean up a mess.))
I digress. Seems like journaling might have been the better option. So next time, I’m going to turn to one of these journal prompts for frustration:
1. Describe a recent situation that caused you frustration.
Who was involved in the situation?
When did the frustration start?
Did you share your feelings in the moment? Why or why not?
2. Identify one aspect of the frustrating situation that you had control over.
Did you try to change that one aspect?
Why or why not?
How do you feel about the way you handled the situation?
3. Imagine yourself finding a resolution or a positive outcome to the frustrating situation.
What would you say or do? To whom?
Is there still time for you to say what you want to that person?
If not, is this something you can remember and apply for next time?
4. Reflect on a time when you successfully overcame a frustrating situation or obstacle.
What made you feel frustrated?
How did you react?
What effect did your actions have?
5. Write a letter to yourself, acknowledging and validating your feelings of frustration.
Why do you still feel frustrated?
Are you ready to let go?
What do you need to move on from your feelings of frustration?
What’s another great outlet for your anger?
Getting lost in a book. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 30-Day Reading Challenge to help you start a daily reading habit (and stick to it).
Daily accountability emails
A free reading tracker
Book recommendations
Hand-selected author quotes to get you in the literary spirit
How to Choose a Journal Prompt for Anger
There’s no need to overcomplicate journaling—and I’m not going to try to. But not every journal prompt is the right fit for what you’re feeling at the moment, so it does help to narrow down the search a bit before diving into writing.
As you look for a journal prompt for anger, ask yourself:
1. What am I angry about right now?
Are you thinking about a specific situation? Or are you reflecting on your feelings or anger in general?
If you’re seeing red because of something your unappreciative boss just said, you might not have time for a long journaling session right in the moment. Instead, try whipping out your phone and typing a few lines in your Notes app to help yourself calm down.
But if you’re stewing over reflecting on years of pent up feelings, then it may be a good idea to wait until you have at least 20 minutes to open up to a fresh page and try to release some of that angst.
2. What do I want to journal about?
Do you need to just word-vomit a whole bunch of rage? Or do you want to spend some time analyzing your feelings and finding strategies to work on your anger management and conflict resolution?
Depending on what feels you’re feeling, there are a couple of different styles of anger writing prompts you can try out, such as:
Open-Ended Journal Prompts for Anger
These prompts lend themselves to more of a free-form style. They’re a good fit when you have the time to really just let your thoughts run wild for pages and pages. (Basically, these are the prompts to turn to when you want to vent your feelings but your mom or best friend isn’t picking up.)
Try this: Write about something in your life that consistently makes you angry. What are your immediate thoughts about this issue? Why does it make you angry?
Reflective Anger Writing Prompts
Rather than simply doing a brain-dump of all your angry feelings, these anger writing prompts are designed to help you focus more on introspection and self-analysis. In other words, be prepared to face the looking glass and take some responsibility for your actions. These are not the journal prompts for you if you’re still in the phase of having a big, old pity party for yourself (which we all need sometimes).
Try this: Think about the patterns in your anger responses. How do you typically cope with anger? Why do you think you behave this way? What is good or bad about your reactions?
Problem-Solving Anger Journal Prompts
If your blood is boiling and you feel like that little red character in Inside Out, perhaps try one of the open-ended journal prompts above before turning to this section.
Problem-solving anger journal prompts are best used when you’re a little past the white-hot anger stage and are ready to get constructive. This is where to turn when you need a sounding board to help yourself come up with solutions to better manage your anger.
Try this:Think of a situation (or relationship) that frequently triggers your anger. Then, brainstorm different ways you can respond to create a more positive outcome. Finally, think of what you can do proactively to prevent yourself from being in this situation to begin with.
Journaling Prompts for Anger—with Gratitude
Sometimes, you just need to be that (slightly annoying) person who is always positive no matter what the situation. Basically, you need to fake being positive until you make it.
While I definitely don’t advocate taking this approach all the time (after all, suppressing anger is its own problem in and of itself), sometimes forcing a little bit of positivity is all it takes to change your perspective and genuinely turn your attitude around.
And don’t just take it from me. One study from Stanford University indicated that faking a smile can, in some cases, actually make you feel better—for real. [Source: Nature Human Behavior]
Try this:Start by writing down what’s making you angry. Then, force yourself to write at least three things that aren’t SO bad about the situation. Add three things you can do to improve the situation. Finish with three things you’re grateful for—whether they’re relevant to the situation or not.
3. How much time do I have?
Do you just have 10 minutes to quickly release some pent-up tension? Or do you have time for a long writing session where you can really pour your heart out?
Personally, I think opened-ended, free-form journal prompts for anger are the best option when you’re short on time (like if you’re at work or at a party). For starters, you don’t have to focus on adhering to a specific theme. Instead, you can just quickly get your thoughts down on paper (or in your phone) to help you cool down before you have to get back to reality.
Pro tip: Don’t stop there! Close the loop on your venting by returning to this quick journal entry later for deeper reflection.
When you do have time for more careful reflection, that’s when I think problem-solving journal prompts for anger come in handy. Make a cup of tea (these are some tea recommendations for people who don’t drink tea but want to start). Put on your favorite angsty music. And get prepared to get all meta about your feelings.
3 Tips for Effective Anger Journaling
Of course, sometimes you don’t even need a prompt for anger journaling. You can just open a notebook or a Word document or a new page in your Notes app and let those sparks fly.
And I’m not saying this style of anger journaling isn’t worthwhile. (It certainly feels pretty damn good, sometimes.) But if you want to get a little more out of your journaling session than just a brain dump and an explosion of bottled-up feelings, here are a few tips you can try to make your journaling practice more effective:
1. Incorporate mindfulness techniques
Before you start journaling all willy-nilly, take a second to ask yourself the above questions:
What am I angry about right now? What do I want to journal about? How much time do I have?Pick a prompt that corresponds with what you’re feeling right now.
Then, chill for a second. Try some mindful breathing. And if you think that sounds like a complete waste of time, consider this: Studies show that breathwork can actually be an effective strategy for reducing stress and improving mental health. [Source: Scientific Reports]
Finally, when it’s time to start writing, go easy on the self-judgment. Seriously. It’s all too easy for us to be our own worst critics, even about our own thoughts and feelings. But journaling is your no-judgment zone. Just let it all out, judgment-free.
You can reread your journal entry immediately after writing, in a few hours, the next day, a week later, a month later … you get the idea. Or you can never reread it. Maybe you want to crumple it up and throw it away or simply leave it forgotten in the pages of an old notebook.
Personally, I love rereading my old journal entries. You know those cleaning sessions every year or so when you turn your whole home upside down and find yourself sitting in a mess getting nostalgic about stuff you found in the back of your junk drawer? Yeah, that’s usually when I end up reading my old journal entries. It’s a real blast from the past. I love seeing what younger Merry was up to and how she’s changed. Plus, it’s a great reminder that most of the things we stress, fret, and worry about eventually pass with time. But that’s a topic for another day …
2. Start doing it regularly
I know, I know. Another habit to add to your list of things to do every day. Right up there with meditating and exercising and reading and practicing gratitude and all that self-improvement stuff we tell ourselves we need to do to become less stressed but which just ends up making us more stressed.
Sigh.
Don’t let journaling become something stressful. You don’t have to do it EVERY single day, nor does every entry have to be a huge novella of all the feels. Rather, just a few quick lines most days out of the week counts as journaling.
The key is to make it a regular practice—even if that doesn’t mean every day. Because making writing a regular part of your routine can, in the long term, help you better cope with stress. (And don’t we all need more of that?) [Source: PubMed Central]
3. Look for patterns in your journaling
As you regularly respond to different journal prompts for anger, try to stop yourself every now and then and go back over old entries to look for recurring patterns.
For example, see if you can identify:
What triggers commonly make you angry
How you normally respond to these triggers
What relationships in your life are sources of anger
How these relationships have evolved over time
What strategies help you manage your anger
What strategies don’t help you manage your anger
4. Feel free to stray from the prompt
Spoiler: There are no journaling police. At least not any that I know. We’re not living in a 1984 dystopia yet. (Didn’t get that reference? No sweat—but it’s not too late to start flexing your classic literature muscles. Start by catching up on this list of the easiest classic novels to read.) (1984 is one of them.))
Anyway, what I mean is, don’t worry if you end up straying from the original prompt. After all, these journaling prompts for anger are mostly there to help you get going. In the end, you may find yourself writing about something totally different—and that’s okay!
Basically, journal prompts for anger are helpful to 1) get you started or 2) help guide you for a more specific analysis, if that’s what you’re into.
No pressure.
5. Get insight from a professional
Clearly, I am no health professional. I’m just talking about journaling, dude.
And while journaling may have many reported benefits for mental health, it is in no way a substitute for professional treatment or guidance.
So if you feel you need more help than a quick journaling session, please do get it—from the pros.
Understanding Anger and Its Impacts
Being angry is annoying. (I don’t have to tell you that.) But beyond just being a less-than-pleasant part of your day, anger is bad for you, your health, and your relationships. (After all, no one wants to be around a sourpuss all day.)
So if you need some more motivation to cool it with a few journal prompts for anger, just take a lot at theses statistic about the consequences of anger:
How Suppressed Anger Affects Your Health
Not a big shock, but here it is in black and white: Suppressed anger has been linked to depression. [Source: PubMed Central]
For more bad news, consider this: Multiple studies show that anger can determine diseases, like coronary disease, bulimia nervosa, diabetes, etc., and even be the cause of car accidents. Yikes! [Source: PubMedCentral]
So, yeah. I think it’s time to stop ignoring those journal prompts for anger and get writing.
Anger Writing Prompts: One Healthy Outlet for Expressing and Managing Anger
Of course, starting a journaling practice won’t just magically solve all your problems. (Oh, if only it were that easy!)
But it’s no exaggeration that turning to journal prompts for anger can go a long way to help you:
Release your feelings to avoid anger suppression (and its scary potential consequences)
Better understand your feelings
Identify your triggers
Come up with solutions to better manage your anger
De-stress
Remember to be grateful for the many things that DON’T make you angry
Improve the way you communicate when you are angry
Help you track your progress in becoming a better communicator, partner, friend, and personal, overall
One step (or page) at a time, eh?
My Experience with Journaling
I’ve been keeping a journal since I was in middle school. (I go through phases of writing every day and then practically not at all.) But even though it’s always something I advocate for and remind myself to do, I don’t write in my journal every day.
(After all, there are so many good daily habits I want to pick up … But there’s only so much time in the day!)
But you know what I find in looking back on my old entries? When life is good, I journal less.
Of course, this means that when I reread my journal, I often think, “Wow. I’m super depressed and my life sucks.” I have to remind myself that this isn’t true, that rather, my journal is just not a good representation of my daily life. This is because it’s usually in the bad moments that I turn to my journal for a good rant. And you know what? Nine out of 10 times, it works!
After burning through some journal prompts for anger, my attitude usually does a 180. I calm down, get some clarity, and walk away feeling much more optimistic and energized.
That’s one reason why I’m trying (again) to become more regular about journaling. But I don’t want to put pressure on myself and stress my perfectionist self out. That would just be coming full circle …
Have you tried any of these journal prompts for anger yet? Do you think you’ll get into a regular journaling practice soon?
Before You Go …
Journaling is a great way to de-stress and take a break from our way-too-busy days.
Another way I like to chill out is simply pausing with a book for at least 20 minutes. Besides, you know, enjoying the book I’m reading, I welcome the pause from what feels like an always-stuffed schedule of always-urgent tasks.
It’s no secret that I’m a fan of a solo trip, whether that be a two-week jaunt to Québec to sit on rainy balconies and cosplay a tortured poet or a weekend spree to Warsaw to sing and dance in a crowd of strangers at The Eras Tour.
But as most female travelers can attest, solo trips are all fun and games until the sun sets.
No, our carriages aren’t turning into pumpkins and our elegant slippers aren’t falling off (though we may be leaving a bachelor on the dance floor), but our stranger-danger defenses are certainly going up. What’s a girl to do alone at night in Paris when the world is her oyster but also sometimes her undoing?
Stay safe! But also, recreate. Voilà un petit round-up of four fun (safe) things to do alone in Paris at night:
Truly, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. The beauty of The Merry Loner Lifestyle is that it empowers you to redefine loneliness as chosen independence. You’re not dining alone because no one will have you; you’re dining alone because you want to enjoy an evening out on the town with your own company. (And because you’re hungry.)
If you want to live The Merry Loner Lifestyle (Paris Version), then a prime endroit for a chic French meal is at Le Relais de l’Entrecôte. A friend took me to this restaurant way back in 2017 during my first visit to Paris, and young, green, wide-eyed Merry was surely dazzled.
Here’s how it works:
You line up outside the door with the rest of the evening’s restaurant-goers.
You enter with everyone else when the door’s open and are immediately whisked to a table.
You confirm your order to the waitress. (Spoiler: There’s only one thing on the menu. (Double Spoiler: It’s steak and fries.))
Within about five minutes, you chow down on the exact same meal as your table neighbors.
Yes, please. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s newsletter to get the latest in your inbox.
2. Act Like a Cinephile at a Local Movie House
Bonus points if you wear a turtleneck.
What is it about the movie theater that intimidates the solo traveler? Okay, so you don’t have anyone’s hand to hold during the previews. So what? Maybe their hands are sweaty.
In the age of streaming and ubiquitous short-form videos with impossibly cringe-y content (that the pioneers of the term “cringe-y” somehow fail to find cringe-y), few are those who seek more artful, lengthy films in traditional cinema. But perhaps the tides are turning. The Guardian claims “there is an incredible hunger” for classic films that are slowly crawling their way back into cinemas—and I’m here for it.
Actually, I’m there for it—in a local movie house in Paris. For my fellow women travelers looking for things to do alone in Paris that don’t involve drinking or eating, hitting up a cinema should be at the top of your list.
And if you don’t speak French, fear not. Many movie theaters play foreign films (i.e., non-French films), so it’s not that hard to find an American or English film in a Parisian cinema.
If you do speak French, then woo-hoo. This is your chance to soak up some real francophone action. Even if you’re not fluent, going to the movies is great, authentic exposure to the language to give your listening comprehension a boost.
3. Play Dress Up at a Parisian Cocktail Bar
If you want to feel effortlessly fancy in Paris (I’m assuming you do), then sashay over to a dimly-lit cocktail bar.
You can be mysterious and aloof by bringing a book along—try one of these classic novels if you want to give an allure of intellectual pretentiousness. Or maybe come armed with a luxe leather journal for all your daydreaming and musing.
If you need a little social support, that’s okay. Becoming a Merry Loner is a journey—and flying solo at a bar at night in a foreign city is playing on expert level. Turn to good old Facebook groups or dedicated apps like Meetup to find events for travelers in Paris. These groups usually give you a higher success rate if you’re staying in the city for the long term. But if you’re traveling to Paris solo for a weekend, then you’re better off booking an event in advance.
For example, on TripAdvisor, you can sign up for meetups in Paris like:
If drinking isn’t so much your thing and you’d rather focus on meeting new people, why not try a language café?
At language café, you can meet and mingle with other travelers (and even locals, sometimes) to practice your language skills. Naturally, these meetups usually take place in bars, but you can also find daytime activities in coffee shops or parks, if that’s more your style.
If you only speak English, don’t freak out. A lot of people come to language cafés to practice English, so you can usually find someone to talk to. Better yet, if you’re learning another language, this is your golden opportunity to practice chatting with other language learners and native speakers.
Again, you can find these language cafés in Facebook groups or on websites like Meetup.
Still not ready to take a solo trip?
That’s okay—we can help you get there.
Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to learn how to love spending time alone.
Sick of seeing the word self-care? Me too. Merely hearing it or daring to utter the phrase makes me cringe a bit. But you know what? It feels damn good. And turns out, it may actually be doing something? Even the National Institute of Mental Health is calling out self-care for its “role in maintaining your mental health.”
The trick is to be proactive. That means practicing self-care BEFORE you feel like you’re going to have a nervous breakdown—not mid freak-out when your symbolic hair is on fire and/or you’re about to collapse from burnout.
Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or even very time-consuming. If you’re suffering from a severe case of the blahs, and don’t even know where to get started, bookmark this page. This is your ultimate guide to self-care with 100 ideas for a self-care day, including:
It’s not easy to give self-care a strict definition because it means something different for everyone. Really, self-care can be pretty much anything you do for yourself to take care of both your mental health and physical health. [Source: National Institute of Mental Health]
We all hear about how important it is to go on a stupid little mental health walk, spend less time doomscrolling, and get regular physical activity. And while self-care certainly looks different for everyone, these three activities tend to be pretty good recommendations for just about every individual out there.
But do these self-care ideas even do anything? They sure do.
Self-Care Reduces Stress
A 2019 study from the Loyola University Chicagofound that “ongoing engagement in multiple types of self-care strategies may decrease perceived stress and influence one’s well-being.”
It’s worth noting, however, that you can’t really “catch up” on self-care when you’re already feeling distressed and overwhelmed. Instead, the study cautions that:
“Self-care is most effective when practiced on an ongoing basis with the goal of reducing stress … As stress builds towards distress, self-care needs become more pressing but paradoxically, self-care and the ultimate prevention of negative outcomes may become more difficult.”
TLDR: Basically, you can’t put self-care on the back-burner and then expect it to “work” (i.e., reduce stress) when you need it. Self-care really can help you reduce stress and improve your overall well-being and life satisfaction—but you need to make it a habit.
Self-Care Enhances Productivity
Taking time to focus on yourself usually comes at the expense of doing something “more productive.” Or at least it often seems that way.
But practicing self-care can actually go a long way in enhancing your overall productivity. (Not to put the emphasis of life on just being productive, but hey—we all gotta get stuff done sometimes, right?)
Dr. Russell Thackeray is a business psychologist and director of QED, where he provides training on emotional and mental toughness. In a conversation with Trello, he said:
“People that look after themselves [and practice self-care] do have better cognitive ability. They do have better focus and they do have better concentration.” [Source: Trello]
Clearly, I’m not telling you to practice self-care because it’ll help you work through your to-do list faster. (This is not a productivity blog.) But if you need a little encouragement to go for a walk or take a bit longer to brew and enjoy a cup of tea in the middle of the day, consider this your green flag to go ahead and do so.
Self-Care Improves Your Physical Health
Self-care means something different for everyone. Particularly, for a lot of people, self-care means spending time working on physical health, whether that’s practicing yoga, playing sports, or just going for a simple walk.
Naturally, all these activities are good for your physical health. But even self-care activities that don’t require physical exertion can have a roundabout positive impact on your physical health.
Like a lot of things in life, it all comes down to stress. Stress can not only complicate things for you emotionally and mentally, but it can also wreak havoc on your body. For example, unchecked stress can lead to headaches, muscle tension, stomach upset, sleep problems, and even a weakened immune system. [Source: Mayo Clinic]
So practicing regular self-care does more than keep you calm, cool, and collected—it could even help keep physical ailments at bay.
Pro Tip: I devoured this book a few summers ago when I was going through a particularly stressful time, and it really taught me a lot about stress. It’s not just something we should avoid because it’s unpleasant—stress has profound impacts on our physical health, like heart disease and cancer. I highly recommend Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert M. Sapolsky. Available at Better World Booksand Barnes & Noble.
Self-Care Has a Positive Effect on Your Relationships
Finally, I think one of the biggest reasons people don’t spend enough time on self-care is because they think it makes them selfish. After all, if you’re giving all that love and attention to yourself, it means you’re not giving it to someone else, right?
Wrong! Self-care isn’t selfish. Do you remember that adage: “You can’t pour from an empty cup”? How about every flight attendant’s #1 rule: “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others”? These phrases probably best sum up why self-care is so important. Or, you can take a cue from psychologist and relationship expert John Gottman who says, “By engaging in proactive self-care, we can create the conditions necessary for deep, mutually fulfilling connections with ourselves, our partners, families and friends.” [Source: Southern New Hampshire University]
13 DIY self-care ideas
Here are 13 DIY self-care ideas:
1. Cook a healthy and nourishing meal from scratch
Sure, it’s easy to order takeout. (In fact, treating yourself to takeout at the end of a long, stressful day can be an act of self-care, too.) But if you have the time (even just 20 minutes), treat yourself to a healthy, delicious home-cooked meal, courtesy of you. It tastes better that way. (You can get recipe inspiration from my friend Ally on her food blog, Nigella Eats Everything.)
2. Plant a small garden or take care of indoor plants
You can plant flowers, herbs, or vegetables outside in your yard or in small pots in a windowsill if you don’t have a lot of space. Don’t worry if you don’t have a green thumb. (Join the club.) It’s pretty hard to mess up caring for succulents, and they look damn cute, too.
3. Do a DIY face mask with you have in the kitchen
My favorite DIY face mask? Mix together raw honey and turmeric for hydrating and lightly exfoliating treatment. (Please, just stay away from putting lemon, sugar, and apple cider vinegar on your face. You can learn why from a blogger I love, Sara at Healthy Skin Glows.)
4. Create a self-care jar
Decorate an empty glass jar and then fill it with little notes with different DIY self-care ideas. When you need a little pick-me-up but are short on inspiration, randomly pick a note and let you guide it to some R&R.
5. Make a DIY body scrub
A favorite indulgence of mine. Here’s my recipe:
Combine two tablespoons of brown sugar with two tablespoons of olive oil.
Add 10–15 drops of your favorite essential oil (I like rose or lavender).
Scrub up in the shower for deliciously soft, smooth, silky skin.
6. Make your own tea blends
Create your own soothing herbal tea blend—you don’t even necessarily need to have tea on hand to do it. For example, I love to combine hot water with lemon juice, turmeric, and fresh ginger for a zingy-yet-calming herbal beverage.
7. Start a gratitude box and fill it with notes of things you’re grateful for throughout the year
I keep this jar in my living room. After a particularly great day—whether it was a fun night with friends or just a blissful Sunday afternoon at home—I make a quick note of it and toss it in the jar. I don’t read the notes again until the end of the year (or until the jar is full) when I sit down and read them all. Consider it your own highlight reel of the year’s best moments.
8. Create a vision board to visualize your dreams and aspirations
I used to do this with friends in high school and college—and I did it recently for the first time in a long time. Sure, you can always create a virtual mood board on Pinterest, but it’s a lot more fun to cut out text and images from old magazines and get messy pasting together an expressive collage.
9. Make DIY home decor
You can make your own artwork, repurpose old items into something newer and more beautiful, or create personalized decorations. If you spend a lot of time staring at the screen (don’t we all?), then taking the time to create something out of physical materials with your own hands can feel really rewarding.
10. Make yourself a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice
This one is severely understated. First of all, doing this somehow makes me feel very bougie and very peasant-y at the same time—which is apparently a combination I love. And it beats boxed orange juice, hands-down, every time.
11. Make scented sachets and put them in your drawers to have fresh-smelling clothes
You can do this one even if you have next-to-zero sewing skills. With just a needle and thread and a few scraps of fabric, you can fasten a tiny pouch, fill it with rice and dried herbs (Lavender or vetiver are my favorite picks.), and then tie it with a ribbon. Who doesn’t want to open their drawers to fresh-smelling sweaters and underwear?
12. Print out pictures and start a scrapbook
I don’t take a lot of pictures because I know that once I do, they are usually just lost in the abyss of my phone’s photo album. But this is something I want to change. There’s no feeling like sitting and flipping through the pages of a real, paper scrapbook, so start making yours this weekend.
13. Make your own cookbook
Once again, practice self-care by making your life a little less digital. Write down your favorite recipes (Any old family recipes from Nana?) in a notebook. Trust me: The cooking experience is much improved when you’re not always unlocking your phone every two minutes to read the next step.
11 10-minute self-care ideas
Even small pockets of self-care throughout the day can make a big positive difference on your overall well-being.
Here are 11 10-minute self-care ideas:
14. Practice deep breathing exercises or meditation
I meditate regularly, but I’m trying to remind myself to make it a daily habit. It doesn’t have to be complicated—and you don’t even need to do guided meditation to feel the benefits. If you’re new to meditation, you can read this article from Cleveland Clinic for tips on how to meditate.
15. Take a power nap to recharge your energy levels
Sometimes, a 10-minute nap can really make a world of a difference. You don’t really have to be asleep to enjoy this kind of self-care “nap.” Just try lying down for a few minutes with your eyes closed as if you would fall asleep. Strangely, I actually feel really re-energized after I let myself take this kind of break.
16. Write yourself a love letter or positive affirmations
This is definitely one of the 10-minute self-care ideas that can feel a little silly. That’s fine. Nobody else needs to know you’re doing it. Bonus: Once you’ve written this love letter to yourself, you can stash it away and save it for some time in the future when you need a little self-esteem boost. (No one needs to know.)
17. Practice mindfulness
No, meditation and mindfulness aren’t necessarily the same thing. If you’ve experimented with meditation and don’t really think it works for you, give mindfulness a try. Studies show it can still help with challenges like depression and anxiety—and you can practice it anywhere and at any time. [Source: Verywell Mind]
18. Take a stretching break
This is another self-care activity I try to do every day. And while you may not always have time for a full-on yoga session, simply stretching for 10 minutes (especially in the middle of the work day) can still have powerful benefits, including lessened anxiety, bodily pain, and exhaustion and improved vitality, health, and flexibility. [Source: PubMed Central]
19. Take a mindful tea or coffee break
The focus is on mindful here. No, you don’t necessarily have to make this a mindfulness session—but don’t just gulp down your tea or coffee while you’re still staring at the screen or running errands! Instead, take 10 minutes to sit and enjoy a warm beverage… And do nothing else.
20. Dance it out
This is another self-care activity that can feel a little silly—but so what. This is a particularly good one to do if you’re working from home (alone). Put on a few of your favorite songs and let yourself get groovy. Go ahead: Sing into your hairbrush in the bathroom mirror. There’s a reason you did it when you were 13—it’s fun.
21. Say positive affirmations
Whether you know some positive affirmations off the top of your head or need to do a quick search, find a few you like and repeat them out loud. Think positive affirmations are a total load of crap? Well, it actually may be worth your time. This article from Positive Psychology Today takes a look at the research (including MRI evidence) to assess the real health benefits of positive affirmations.
22. Look through old photos
Whether you’ve already taken the time to make a physical scrapbook or you just need to head to the photos app on your phone, be prepared. This self-care activity will likely hit you with a heavy dose of nostalgia with a trip down memory lane to nights out, vacations, and (let’s be honest) screenshot-ed memes from days past.
23. Change the sheets on your bed so they’re fresh and clean
Just do it. You’ll thank me after. In general, taking care of your home and hygiene really go a long way in supporting your mental health. And it just feels nice to get into a freshly-made bed at the end of the day. If you want to go the extra mile, give it a few spritz of a DIY pillow spray.
24. Go through your social media accounts and unfollow things that are a bad influence on you
You know what I’m talking about. People who try to present picture-perfect lives that just make you feel insecure. Brands pushing content so you’ll want to buy things you don’t need. That mean girl from high school you’re somehow still following even though you haven’t seen each other in 10+ years. Good-bye.
M
More inspiration on how to indulge in solo time?
Yes, please. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s newsletter to get the latest in your inbox.
13 Cheap self-care ideas
Here are 13 cheap self-care ideas:
25. Treat yourself to your favorite specialty coffee
Sure, it’s probably not the wisest financial decision to buy a $6 latte every single day. But don’t let anyone tell you the reason you’re not a millionaire is because you get coffee with a friend once a week. Sometimes, on those really rough days, that $4 cappuccino is giving you a lot more than just espresso and frothy milk.
26. Take yourself out on a date to your favorite restaurant or café
Now THIS is what The Merry Loner Lifestyle is all about. Truly, I think it is one of life’s great pleasures to take yourself out for a meal, a coffee, or a drink and sit there for hours all alone just reading and/or daydreaming. It’s good for the mind, and it’s good for the soul. And it doesn’t have to be expensive! A $4 coffee or a $10 burger will do the trick. It’s more about the experience.
Not comfortable going on solo dates? Try this.
A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge helps you build confidence doing things alone, step by step.
7 bite-sized challenges to do every day to help you experiment with doing things alone
A judgment-free zone to share all your feels about how the day’s activity went
Daily journal prompt to help you process and learn from what you did that day
27. Visit a museum, art gallery, or botanical garden
Most museum tickets don’t cost more than $20, but you can usually spend the whole day getting lost inside (or at least several hours). Plus, it seems most of us only go to museums when we’re on vacation. So why not treat yourself to the experience at home?
28. Sign up for a dance or fitness class
You don’t necessarily have to enroll for months of classes or sign up for a membership. Many dance studios and gyms offer day passes or single-class tickets. Try something new outside of your comfort zone—or just enjoy spending a few hours at a fancy gym whose yearly membership would normally be out of your budget.
29. Take a day trip to a nearby town or city
Get a change of scenery without taking PTO or splurging on an expensive vacation. Even spending just a few hours in a neighboring town takes you out of your daily routine and gives you the chance to explore someplace new.
30. Engage in random acts of kindness
Buy a stranger a cup of coffee. Give a stranger a (genuine) compliment. Write and mail a letter to your grandparents. Donate to a charity. (Even as little as $10 or $20 can make a big difference.) You’ll do good—and you’ll feel good about yourself, too.
31. Create a self-care corner in your home
Or if you don’t have enough space (I certainly don’t), create a self-care kit instead. This is a small space or kit that contains a few things you can turn to when you need to de-stress or give yourself a little self-love. For example, this could be a cozy blanket, a yummy-smelling candle, a favorite book, a journal, a yoga mat, etc.
32. Color in a coloring book
You can buy an adult coloring book, a kid’s coloring book, or just print some free coloring pages from the Internet. Listen to a podcast while you color or just let your mind wander. If you’re feeling stressed, coloring can actually help soothe anxiety and even improve your emotional well-being for the long term. [Source: PubMed Central]
33. Experiment with new cocktail recipes
As long as you have a few basics at home, you can really get creative and play bartender for the night. Better yet, invite a few friends over and have a DIY cocktail recipe competition.
34. Buy yourself fresh flowers
I really need to do this more often. Sure, there are crazy expensive bouquets out there, but you can also buy a simple bouquet of flowers for under $10. Seeing it sitting on your kitchen table can really put a spring in your step. And when the flowers eventually wilt, you can save the petals and make potpourri or sachets for your drawers (see self-care idea #11).
35. Go to a local bookstore and treat yourself
Strolling the aisles in a bookstore (preferably while wearing a thick and swishy skirt) is the kind of scene great rom-coms are made of. So why not turn your life into an old Meg Ryan flick? At least for a day. Plus, when you visit a local bookstore (even online, second-hand bookstores count in my book), you join the great fight in fighting over-consumption.
I remember seeing Mia Thermopolis do this with her mom in Princess Diaries. And when I recreated the art project with a friend after graduating high school, it was indeed just as much fun as it looked.
Fill up a few balloons.
Pour a little paint in each one.
Carefully affix the balloons to a plain poster board and attach the poster board to a wall. (Spoiler: We attached it to a chain link fence in an empty park.)
Throw darts at the balloons and watch your creation come to life.
(Please be careful, no matter where you do this.)
13 Free self-care ideas
Here are 13 free self-care ideas:
38. Unplug and disconnect from technology for a few hours
I think we’re all probably guilty of not doing this enough. And I don’t know about you, but spending 30+ minutes doing nothing and scrolling on my phone never leaves me feeling good. But going for a walk or reading a book for that same amount of time? It never feels like a waste.
39. Start a journaling practice
Whenever I’m feeling a little stressed, anxious, depressed, mad, or whatever, taking the time to write it down makes me feel better about nine times out of 10. And it’s not just me—the University of Rochester Medical Center says journaling can help improve your mental health and emotional wellness. And it’s free.
What can’t a good book solve? A book can help you learn something new, escape from reality, and challenge you to reflect on different ideas. Whether you prefer a physical book or an ebook is up to you—and there’s no shame in reading a cheesy romance novel, either. (Hey, it’s still better than social media.)
I’m very picky when it comes to podcasts, and I’m not really a big fan of audiobooks, but I know that some people absolutely love them. One podcast I return to over and over again through the years is The History Chicks. And my latest favorite is Your Weekly Breakdown.
42. Watch your favorite movie or binge-watch a TV series
I know I’m usually advocating for less screen time—but hey, we all need to veg out sometimes. These are a few of my old favorites for binge-watching:
The Nanny
StarGate SG-1
I Dream of Jeannie
Sabrina the Teenage Witch
Frasier
Cheers
Seinfeld
Friends
Mad Men
House, MD
43. Learn a new language or practice conversing in one you’re already learning
I’ve been working on learning Polish for almost a year now, and I have to say I’m surprised by how much you can learn from DuoLingo. (At the time of writing, I think my streak is around 622 days or something like that.) Once again, compared to social media, this is a little break on my phone that doesn’t make me feel like I just wasted time staring at people yelling at each other in the comments section. So I count that as a self-care win.
44. Go to the library and sit and read in quiet for an afternoon
One of my favorite solo pastimes is sitting and reading in a café. Usually, the hustle and bustle of other people working and moving around actually helps me focus. But sometimes it’s nice to have a bit of peace and quiet and sit in a library surrounded by nothing but books.
45. Write down your goals and create an action plan to achieve them
This one will definitely get you motivated and feeling inspired. I tend to do this every few months to check in on what I want in life, where I am now, and how I can get to where I want to go.
46. Sit down and spend time writing old-fashioned letters to loved ones—then mail them
When was the last time you received a letter in the mail? Not a bill. Not an advertisement. But a real, handwritten letter from someone who’s just telling you how you’re doing. It feels pretty great, doesn’t it? Give someone else this joy. (It also feels nice to write the letters, too.)
47. Create a self-care playlist with uplifting songs that make you feel good
Sometimes we all need that curated playlist to turn to when we’re feeling blue and need to stare pensively out the window like we’re in a music video. For me (and millions of other people on the planet), that’s Taylor Swift. I remember listening to her earliest songs with my best friend back when we were only nine. And then listening to her songs years later in high school when my best friend got her license. And then years later again and again. It’s a guaranteed, nostalgic, feel-good listen every time I tune in. What will be on your self-care playlist?
48. Start a morning or evening self-care routine
It can be lighting a candle. Or meditating. Maybe stretching. Applying skin care. Journaling. Or any combination of these or other self-care activities. Making it a routine guarantees just a few minutes of a little bit of self-care every day, even on your busiest days.
49. Find digital inspiration
Instead of scrolling through social media with your eyes glazed over, spend some time seeking out digital inspiration. For example, you can explore new blogs or subscribe to new newsletters. Some of my favorites are Wondermind and my friend Nikita’s Snail Mail Sweethearts.
50. Put your phone on airplane mode for a few hours
Or better yet, just turn it off. I used to do this a lot before the pandemic—just turn off my phone for the night or for a few hours on the weekend. I relished the uninterrupted time to just do my thing without constantly being pinged by notifications. During the pandemic, when I was using my phone to stay in touch with people, I stopped doing that. Now, I’m trying to pick up the habit again.
12 Beauty self-care ideas
Here are 12 beauty self-care ideas:
51. Take a long, relaxing bath
Is there anything better? I love to fill up a hot bath with salts, moisturizing oils, and essentials oils and luxuriate the evening away. I either bring along a book, watch a podcast, or just enjoy some moments of unstimulated bliss. (Seriously, why don’t I do this more often?)
52. Treat yourself to a massage or spa treatment
A lot of people won’t think twice about spending money to go out for dinner and drinks with friends—but they’ll draw the line at spending that money on themselves when they’re all alone. Sure, massages and spa treatments are expensive, so it might be something you only do once a year. But it can do a lot to help you relax and feel good about yourself, which I think is money well spent.
53. Practice aromatherapy
You can easily make your own aromatherapy room spray with just a few supplies and not a lot of money.
Just fill a small spray bottle with water.
Add a little bit of witch hazel or rubbing alcohol.
Get creative by mixing in a few of your favorite essential oils. My favorite combination? Peppermint and lavender.
54. Give yourself a manicure or pedicure
You can still indulge in a little bit of beauty self-care without having to spend a lot of money. A relaxing foot bath is an easy luxury we should all treat ourselves to more often. And there’s just something about a fresh manicure that puts a little spring in your step.
55. Indulge with a classic eye treatment
Sometimes I do this because I wake up with tired, puffy eyes. And sometimes I do this just because it’s silly and fun.
Place chilled cucumber slices or cooled tea bags over your eyes to reduce puffiness
Then, apply a hydrating eye cream or gel.
For a more intense cooling effect, you can also leave a teaspoon in the freezer overnight and hold it under your eyes in the morning. Trust me—that’ll definitely wake you up.
56. Dry brush before the shower
I do this every morning, and in my humble opinion, it’s a self-care ritual that’s worth the extra 30 seconds. For one, dry brushing exfoliates the skin, giving you baby-soft skin from head to toe. (It also keeps in-grown hairs at bay, if you shave). Plus, dry brushing daily helps increases blood circulation and promotes lymphatic drainage. [Source: Cleveland Clinic]
57. Give yourself a face massage
Not every morning, but when I have the extra time and feel a little fancy, I like to give myself a face massage. You can just use your fingers or a special facial massage tool (I like this one from Kora Organics). Now, I don’t believe any of the claims that face massage will give you supermodel cheekbones or anything like that. But that’s not the point. Instead, a face massage can just be a nice little self-care treat because it helps you relax, can relieve muscle tension, and feels damn good. Give it a try.
I used to do this all the time in high school. Many a time, my sister would walk into the kitchen to see me sitting in a bathrobe with a towel atop my head, leaning over a bowl of boiled water. It may look ridiculous, but steaming your face is one spa treatment you can easily recreate at home for basically no money. To get extra fancy, you can also add tea, herbs, or essential oils to the water for an invigorating aroma.
60. Create your own body oil
Another DIY beauty self-care activity I’ve been doing religiously since I was a teenager. It’s cheaper than what you’ll find in the Sephora aisle, and you won’t have to worry about any artificial fragrances aggravating your skin. Apply to slightly damp skin after a shower (or add a few drops into a hot bath), and you’ll be feeling silky, smooth, and sexy.
Pro Tip: This is my current favorite recipe for creating your own body oil:
1. Combine equal parts rosehip oil, jojoba oil, black cumin seed oil, and tamanu oil.
2. Add 10-20 drops each of copaiba essential oil, frankincense essential oil, and blue tansy essential oil.
3. Roll the bottle to blend oils.
61. Give yourself a scalp massage
Before shampooing, give yourself a scalp massage for stimulation. There’s limited research that indicates regular scalp massages may lead to increased hair growth or at least thicker hair because the massage stimulates blood flow to the scalp. These studies were small, so take their results with a grain of salt. But in any case, doesn’t a little self-care massage always feel good? [Source: GoodRX]
62. Enjoy a foot soak and massage
I’m not really one for nail polish, so I don’t care so much if my toenails are painted a flashy hue—but I do love to treat myself to a hot foot soak.
Just fill a basin with hot (but not too hot) water.
Add Epsom salts and your favorite essential oil (I like lavender and/or peppermint for a foot bath).
After soaking for 15–20 minutes (or until the water cools), use a moisturizing oil or lotion to massage your foot.
(Psst! This is the perfect chance to use that DIY body oil you just made.)
What’s the perfect Sunday self-care activity?
A day of reading. Fall back in love with daily reading with A Merry Loner’s 30-Day Reading Challenge.
Daily accountability emails
A free reading tracker
Book recommendations
Hand-selected author quotes to get you in the literary spirit
13 Sunday self-care ideas
63. Practice yoga or gentle stretching exercises
I’m a fan of this one any day of the week, but a yoga session feels particularly good on a Sunday. Among the many health benefits of yoga, one study reported that yoga can actually help improve sleep quality (if you stick to a committed practice). And starting off a new week with a good night’s sleep is definitely some self-care your body deserves. [Source: Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine Journal]
64. Spend time with your pet
Or if you don’t have a pet, how about volunteering at an animal shelter? I had a dog growing up, and while I’m not quite ready to take on the commitment (and cost) of pet ownership, I know that taking a dog for a walk or playing fetch in the park has always lifted my mood.
65. Go for a scenic drive and explore new places near you
Now that I’m a city girl and carless, this isn’t a Sunday self-care activity I can indulge in anymore, but I used to do this all time when I was younger, especially with my mom. A good playlist, a travel mug of your favorite tea or coffee, and winding backroads of an undiscovered town close to home is a sure-fire recipe for a relaxing Sunday afternoon.
66. Have a digital detox day and avoid social media
I think we should all make this a regular weekly practice. Many studies have looked at the adverse affects of social media on our mental health, like anxiety and depression, but most of us keep scrolling, anyway. You don’t need to shame yourself for it, but try taking the day off. It’ll probably make you feel better. [Source: PubMed Central]
67. Organize and declutter your living space
Maybe this is just something that appeals to me because I’m a bit of a neat freak… Actually, it might not just be me. In an interview between the Cleveland Clinic and clinical psychologist Dawn Potter, PsyD, Potter indicates that there’s a very legitimate link between decluttering and mental health. I could go on about this in an entire post of its own, but basically: Do a little a decluttering now, and your future self is sure to thank you. [Source: Cleveland Clinic]
68. Do a puzzle or play a board game
Like a lot of people, I spent a good amount of time during the pandemic doing puzzles, playing cards, and cracking out old board games. (Scrabble made many appearances.) It’s that kind of “good, clean fun” that’s actually fun and 10/10 better for your brain than staring at Netflix for three hours.
69. Have a lazy day in bed with your favorite snacks and shows
On the other hand, sometimes we just need to stare at Netflix and do nothing for three hours. (If you don’t do it too often, it really can be good for the soul.) Once in a while, I’ll spend Sunday morning luxuriating in bed with my favorite snacks (popcorn usually makes the list) while I binge-watch some of my favorite shows.
70. Volunteer for a cause that you care about
Unfortunately, I used to do a lot more volunteer work than I’m currently doing (which, sadly, is a big, fat zero). If you’re like me and want to do some good but keep letting volunteering drop to the bottom of your priority list, go ahead—be a little selfish. This study reported a “stress-buffering effect of volunteering” that “improved emotional well-being for participants who volunteered on a daily basis.” (Is karma at play here?) [Source: PubMed Central]
71. Treat yourself to a day of shopping and buy something you’ve been wanting for a while
Obviously, I’m not suggesting you go crazy with your finances, but we all deserve a little treat now and then. Besides, treating yourself doesn’t have to be expensive; it could be as simple as a lipstick or a new book.
Here’s a good tip: Keep a list of things you want to buy. If something’s remained on the list for several months after continued scrutiny, it’s probably something you actually want and won’t regret purchasing later.
72. Plan your dream vacation
This could be a dream vacation that you intend to put into action. For example, earlier in the year, I was dreaming of going on a yoga retreat—but a few other vacations got in the new way. (I know—what a hardship.) Even so, just looking up cool retreats I want to try one day was fun in and of itself. Or, you can really unleash your fantasies and mood-board that dream getaway you’d take if you ever won the lottery.
73. Sleep in
Enough said. And if you’re one of those people who shames themselves for sleeping too late on the weekend, consider this: You need that good sleep for your health! Without enough good-quality sleep, you’re at greater risk for heart disease, stroke, even dementia, and other diseases and disorders. So turn off your Sunday alarm. [Source: NIH News in Health]
74. Take the time to make a nice, healthy breakfast for yourself
I never really do this on weekdays. Even when I’m just working from home and don’t need to rush out anywhere, it always seems like an indulgence or a waste of time to prepare myself a nice, restaurant-quality breakfast. But on Sunday, it’s usually easier to make the time. So learn how to poach an egg; get fancy with olive oil and cracked pepper; or make a yogurt bowl that will give the café down the street a run for its money. Preparing will feel good; eating it will taste even better; and it’s cheaper than dining out.
75. Create a Sunday-evening self-care ritual to get you ready for the week
When I was in college, this used to mean painting my nails and watching a favorite Sunday-night show. Now, it usually means using luxurious skin care, making a cup of tea, and reading a book. If I’m feeling stressed, I’ll make a list of what I need to get done for the week ahead. Whatever it looks like for you, a Sunday-evening ritual can really help keep away the Sunday Scaries.
12 Outdoor self-care ideas
Here are 12 outdoor self-care ideas:
76. Go on a hike or natural trail
Whether you’re after a vigorous hike that will really challenge your fitness or just a casual nature stroll, this is an outdoor self-care activity you can do on your own or with a friend. (But be careful if you’re on your own!) Plus, the only thing you have to pay for is your transportation to the trail.
77. Go for a bike ride
When I was in college, I used to cycle for 45 minutes almost every day a week. Now, most of my bike rides are just around town to the grocery store, but it’s still something I always find relaxing. If you don’t own a bike, check out the options to rent one for a day or just a few hours (it’s usually cheaper than you think).
78. Watch the sunrise or sunset and appreciate the beauty of nature
Bonus challenge: Don’t post a picture on your Instagram story. Instead, just enjoy the colors of the sun and sky—it doesn’t need to be shared online to be meaningful. Personally, I prefer a sunrise to a sunset because I think they’re a little rarer to behold.
79. Go for a leisurely walk in nature
Or if you’re confined to a city grid, your closest park will do. Often, I’ll call a friend when I’m going for a walk or listen to a podcast. But I’m trying to fight that impulse to feel like I need to be DOING something every second of the day. Sometimes, it’s also good to walk a little aimlessly and let your mind wander.
80. Have a picnic in a local park
Another thing I don’t do as often as I really could or should. For whatever reason, having a picnic in the park makes me feel fancy (even though I don’t go all out and bring an actual basket (though, shouldn’t I?)). With friends or alone with a book, a picnic usually leads to an instant mood-lift.
81. Visit a farmer’s market and buy fresh produce
I try to make it to the local farmer’s market for my weekly grocery run every Sunday (I’m pretty spoiled to live close to a great one), but sometimes I can’t make it and just end up at the grocery store instead. Even if the farmer’s market isn’t a feasible option for you on the regular, treating yourself to a visit here and there sure makes a weekly chore a lot more fun (and usually more delicious).
82. Exercise outside
I get that gyms are convenient and a lot of people love them, but they’ve never been my thing. Instead, I faithfully practice yoga at home with a few of my go-to YouTube channels: Yoga with Kassandra, Charlie Follows, and Tana Yoga. Still, whenever I get the chance to venture outside with my yoga mat for a little workout under the sun, it’s always a 10/10/
83. Take a trip to the beach—no matter the season
Or lake… Or whatever kind of body of water is closest to you. Back when I lived in the Rhode Island, the beach was pretty much always just a 30-minute car ride away. My favorite time of year to visit was during the fall, when the warm weather had gone and taken the crowds with it. And in my opinion, a sandwich always tastes better when the wind has swept a little bit of sand between the slices.
84. Go star-gazing
This one’s definitely a lot harder to do (if not impossible) if you live in a city. But if you live away from light pollution, try heading with friends to spend a few hours just laying back and watching the stars.
85. Try forest bathing
Forest bathing (also called forest therapy) is more than just a walk in the woods. Instead, you consciously immerse yourself in “the sights, sounds and smells of the forest,” as described by the Global Wellness Institute. It may seem a little silly, but studies show forest bathing can significantly reduce cortisol levels. Not a bad way to spend a self-care afternoon. [Source: PubMed Central]
86. Go bird watching
You don’t have to be a big bird fan to enjoy a day of bird watching. Or at least, that’s what I’ve been told. Quite honestly, this is still on my bucket list of activities to try. But just wandering around my own neighborhood and spotting a sparrow (or, honestly, even a pigeon) tends to brighten my day. It’s the small things.
87. Visit the zoo
I recently went to one of the zoos in Berlin. It was the first time I’d been to a zoo in probably 10 years, and it was a lot of fun. But really, what’s not to love from a day spent outside, walking around and checking out some cute animals. Alone or with friends, a trip to the zoo is always a good outdoor self-care activity.
13 Creative self-care ideas
Here are 13 creative self-care ideas:
88. Attend a live concert, theater performance, or cultural event
It doesn’t have to be expensive, either. A few months ago, I bought tickets to a one-man play of Albert Camus’s The Stranger. It was actually cheaper than a usual evening or dinner and drinks out. Plus, I got to dress up and feel extra fancy.
89. Sign up for a workshop or seminar
If you live near a university, college, or community college, check out what events are coming up. Colleges offer events that are open to the public more often than we think. Sure, you may not want to party with a bunch of rowdy college kids, but there may be a seminar or lecture on a subject you’re interested in (and they’re usually free to register).
90. Take a painting class
Even if you’re not good at painting. I’m not disastrous with a paintbrush, but I definitely need some guidance. That said, even if my final piece is too embarrassing to share with anyone outside of my Paint Nite group, it always gives me a self-care boost. In fact, one study shows a positive correlation between participating in a creative activity (like painting) and improved mental health. [Source: Journal of Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing]
91. Start an art journal
If you don’t want to spend the time or money to go to a painting class, you can still get creative at home with an art journal. Treat yourself to a brand-new journal and then use it as your self-care haven for creative expression—drawing, painting, writing, collaging, whatever calls to you.
92. Go on a photography excursion
Grab a camera if you have one or just your phone and venture outside for a day of photography. You could visit a nature trail, go to the beach, or just get lost strolling unfamiliar streets downtown.
Pro tip: To stay off your phone for the day, buy a disposable camera from your pharmacy. They’re usually about $20 for 20–25 prints. But you get the added excitement of waiting to see how your pictures turned out with real, physical prints you can hang on the walls.
93. Create your own recipe
Even if you’re a mess in the kitchen—no one else has to be around to see it. Get creative with whatever leftovers you find in the fridge or buy something random at the grocery store you’ve never tried before. If you need inspiration, I invite you to check out my friend Ally’s food blog, Nigella Eats Everything.
94. Practice creative writing
Maybe your job involves some kind of writing or you’re an active journal-er. But when was the last time you sat down and wrote a story? Besides the fact that it’s just plain fun, 200+ research studies have shown that emotional writing can positively impact your mental (and even physical) health. [Source: Harvard Business Review]
95. Take the time to discover some new music
When I had a long commute to work, I was always discovering new music. With 80+ minutes alone in the car five days a week, I had plenty of time to listen to albums on repeat from start to finish and learn all the words before moving onto to something new. Now that I work from home, my time spent listening to music has drastically decreased—and that needs to change. Listening to music can not only improve your mood, sleep, and memory, but it can also help reduce anxiety, pain, and even blood pressure. [Source: John Hopkins Medicine]
96. Try mind mapping
This is a good self-care activity to do at pretty much any moment, but I find it particularly helpful if you’re stressed, depressed, or feeling anxious. Use a large sheet of paper, start with one central idea or phrase, and let your thoughts grow across the page in a web—as messy or as organized as you want.
97. Cut up old magazines and make a collage
Sure, Pinterest is fun, and there are a lot of cool pictures and videos on Instagram—but using your hands to cut, paste, and create something totally original is a lot more fulfilling than scrolling and double-tapping. One recent study from teacher education researchers reveals how effective collages actually are in promoting self-reflection and identity development, key self-care activities we should all be practicing. [Source: Teaching and Teacher Education]
98. Make your own jewelry
Another tactile self-care activity with a beautiful result. You can find jewelry-making kits online or just head to your local crafts store to find different baubles and odds and ends to experiment with. Remember: If you’re not pleased with the end result, you can always undo it and start again.
99. Learn how to knit, crochet, or embroider
My mom taught me how to cross-stitch when I was a kid, and I used to really love it. Like a lot of other people, I briefly rediscovered this hobby during the early days of the pandemic. Listening to a podcast in the background while I busied my hands on the intricacies of filling the grid with perfect stitches was a self-care double whammy: equal parts relaxing and stimulating for both body and mind.
100. Tie-dye old tee shirts
For a creative self-care idea that doesn’t require any intense artistic skills, you really can’t go wrong with tie-dye. You can also try reverse tie-dying: Instead of dying bright colors on a white shirt, try using bleach to make geometric designs on a black or dark-color shirt. (And get ready for an arm workout when you ring out your dyed shirts in the sink.)
My 10 Self-Care Go-Tos
Whew! That was a lot of self-care day ideas—a full 100 ways to self-care!
At the risk of beating this idea to death, I’ll say it again: Self-care looks a little different for everyone. While it’s fun to experiment with new self-care ideas, it’s nice to have a few go-tos in your back pocket that you know you can turn to when you’re feeling like you need to recharge.
These are my 10 favorite things to do for self-care:
Practicing yoga and meditation
Reading in a café
Using a face mask and doing an elaborate skincare routine
Brewing a pot of herbal tea
Going for an aimless walk by myself
Calling a friend
Journaling
Turning off (or at least ignoring) my phone for a few hours
Watching a favorite TV show
Taking myself out to breakfast
What are your favorite ways to practice self-care?
Self-care may seem like a very over-hyped term right now. (I won’t lie. Part of me does roll my eyes every time I read or write that phrase.) But it’s damn important! And it doesn’t have to be big. Self-care can be as simple as taking the time to enjoy a cup of tea for 10 minutes while you stare dreamily out the window. (Is that one of my favorites out of all of these 100 self-care ideas? Maybe…)
