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Things To Do Alone in the Summer

Maja Krasnicka August 25, 2025

Solo summer activities you’ll love—no matter your relationship status.

I usually spend winters hibernating. Living in the UK, where you essentially experience six to eight months of gloom every year, I find my life energy reawakens with the return of spring and summer.

But this summer hits differently. It’s my first-ever summer living alone.

Since I’m in my early thirties, many of my friends are busy with their kids and/or are away on holidays with their partners, so I’ve found myself spending a lot of time alone—but I didn’t want that to stop me from making the most of these scarce, sunny months.

So I created a bucket list of solo summer activities. Turns out, there are plenty of things to do alone in the summer that are just as—if not more—fun to do without a partner or screaming babies in tow.

Are you on your own this summer? Soak up the sunny days with this guide of what to do alone in summer:

The shortlist: 8 things to do alone in the summer

More articles on the Loner Mindset:

How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone

Living Alone as a Woman: Why Every Woman Should Live Alone at Least Once

No Date? No Problem—A Guide to Dating Yourself

1. Spend time in parks

Making use of local parks or other green spaces is such a great way to enjoy the summer weather while doing other activities.

Whether it’s reading, listening to a podcast, journaling, or just simply relaxing, all of these activities can be made even more enjoyable with some sunshine, ice cream, or an iced beverage.

Merry’s tip: What to bring to take a day in the park to the next level?

A book. Duh. Go paper instead of digital to give your eyes a rest (and read more easily in the sun). Since we’re about halfway through the year, I like to take this time to dust off my new year’s resolution list and do a little soul-searching. That’s when I turn to this list: 7 Books on Self-Awareness to Become a Better Person.

A cool drink. I’m frugal and particular, so that means I like to make my own drink before heading out. I’m crazy about sparkling water with fresh lemon (it’s the little things). But if I have a bit of extra time, I love to brew up some homemade iced tea. Not sure which tea makes the best iced tea for you? Check out my guide on the Best Tea for Non Tea Drinkers.

A journal. For doodling. For daydreaming. For writing. All of these options are better than doomscrolling—and better yet, they’re free! If political angst, family troubles, or work stress is getting you down, let it all out at the park with these 20 Journal Prompts for Anger.

2. Attend events solo (even if it feels scary)

Many Londoners will tell you that the capital is a bit of a transient city, where a lot of people come and go— even more so since the pandemic. With the rising cost of living and the growing popularity of working from home, I’ve found my friendship circle shrinking year after year.

So this summer, I’ve been making a conscious effort to push myself beyond my normal circle of friends and find opportunities to get out and meet new people on my own.

To my surprise, I discovered a whole host of events (even free ones) available locally. I’ve found free yoga classes, run clubs, book clubs, clothes up-cycling workshops, and more.

Signing up for these solo events is a great way to meet people who have similar interests—but even if you don’t make friends, you still get to spend a couple of hours doing something you enjoy. And isn’t that the point?

Not at ease doing things alone?

I recently signed up for a book club. Earlier this month, I attended a crafts event. And I’m already scheduled to attend an after-work drinks meet-up and a free university lecture next month.

While it’s still early days and I haven’t made meaningful friendships through these events (yet), it’s been a great way to meet new people and hear different perspectives. Plus, chatting books and doing crafts is a really fun way to spend my afternoons.

If crafts or after-work drinks don’t sound like something you’d enjoy, there are lots of other events you can attend. For example, in my city, I’ve seen events like:

Volunteering
Baking classes
Flower-arranging classes
Art workshops
Psychology or history talks

You can find events like these through local universities, libraries, museums, and small businesses, as well as Facebook groups and apps like CLIQ or Meetup.

And if you can’t find any events near you that you’d like to attend, why not organize one yourself?

3. Learn a new skill

Summer often brings a slower pace at work, making it the perfect time to learn something new. Plus, picking up a new skill isn’t just a great way to fill time when you don’t know what to do alone in the summer—it can also be really rewarding! You never know, you may discover a new favorite hobby in the process.

This year, I focused on learning skills that were a little less business and a bit more fun.

I’ve been learning (or, should I say, clumsily attempting to learn) how to knit. I’ve also been brushing up on my German. And a couple of summers ago, I took a photography course—and actually learned how to use my DSLR camera that had been gathering dust in my desk drawer for years.

With so many resources (including free ones) available to learn new skills, it’s never been easier to start learning something new—and summer is the perfect time to do it.

4. Go to galleries, museums, and exhibitions

Museum-hopping usually gets the most attention in the darker winter months, but I think it’s actually one of the best things to do in the summer by yourself.

For one, galleries and museums rotate their exhibitions all year round, so if you only visit them in the winter, you’ll miss out on many temporary exhibits you might also enjoy.

I also like heading to museums and art galleries as a bit of a quiet escape from our loud, hectic world. Especially in the summer months when the city is extra lively (and crowded), ducking into a museum for a few hours of solo time is a nice way to chill out and recharge.

And honestly? When there’s a heatwave and crowds feel stifling, a calm, air-conditioned museum filled with art and sculptures is the best place to be.

5. Take yourself on a solo movie or theater date

I’m not going to lie, it took me forever to muster up the courage to go to the movies alone.

Even though it was something I’d been wanting to do for a while, I felt really embarrassed to approach the counter and buy a ticket for one. I was convinced that everyone would notice and judge me for being there alone. In reality though, I realized that nobody cares.

Now, going to the movies alone is actually one of my favorite ways to spend time by myself—and it makes sense if you think about it.

Both the movies and the theater require you to sit quietly in the dark, and (ideally) there’s no talking allowed. It’s the perfect thing to do alone—especially in the sweltering months when you’re looking for things to do in the summer by yourself where you can escape the heat.

Merry’s tip: Still feeling a little awkward going to the movies or theater by yourself?

It’s normal. Those are typically billed as very “date-y” activities, which can make it feel super lame at first when you approach the counter to buy a ticket for one.

But there’s nothing lame, embarrassing, or cringey about it.

For a little dose of courage before taking yourself on your own movie date, read How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone.

6. Do something you've been putting off for a while

I know this doesn’t sound too glamorous, but if you find yourself with a lot of time on your hands and you’re truly at a loss for things to do alone in summer, then this is a good way to use that extra time productively.

Yes, I know “summer” and “productive” don’t necessarily go hand in hand. But do you know that feeling when you cross something off your to-do list? The little dopamine rush? That’s what we’re going for here.

Case in point: Last month, I spent one whole weekend doing a big bedroom declutter.

I listened to a great audiobook, ordered take-out, made myself lots of iced tea, even treated myself to a glass of wine at the end. As much as I had dreaded doing this task, it ended up being almost fun—and I’m definitely glad to have finally gotten rid of some very unnecessary clutter.

Merry’s tip: Can’t bring yourself to do that chore you’ve been putting off for ages?

You’re not the only one. But keep this in mind: Little by little, healthy habits have a way of snowballing into an overall healthier (and happier) life.

If your home is already clutter-free and you’re not sure where to start, check out this list of 13 Habits to Start Now in Your 20s (or Whenever) for Long-Term Physical & Mental Wellbeing.

7. Be a tourist in your own city

Or if you’re feeling brave enough, go travel by yourself.

While I’ve moved abroad by myself twice, I’ve never traveled alone. For a reason unknown even to me, I find the idea of solo travel a lot scarier than moving countries. But since I’m focused on saving money this summer, I decided against traveling this year—instead, I’ve been rediscovering the city I live in: London.

But even if you don’t live in a big city, there are usually plenty of places to see and new things to do alone in the summer.

For example, you could:

Visit a garden, park, or local nature reserve
Tour a local historical landmark
Enjoy a solo picnic
Explore new coffee shops
Take a bike ride around town

Or if you’re feeling fancy, you could even treat yourself to an overnight hotel stay in your hometown—ideally, one with good room service and an outdoor swimming pool.

Taking a good, old staycation is a great way to try new local summer activities and get to know yourself a little better in the process.

Merry’s tip: Feeling nervous about solo travel?

You’re not the only one. For a little inspiration on pushing yourself outside your comfort zone and finally taking the big trip, read:

Scared of Traveling Alone: How to Deal with Solo Travel Anxiety

What I Learned Traveling the World Alone Without My Partner

I Don’t Like Traveling Alone—But I Keep Doing It Anyway

8. Eat out alone

Since warm, sunny weather doesn’t last forever, make sure you take advantage of the summer by treating yourself to an outdoor dinner for one.

Eating out alone is another one of those solo activities that initially seemed too intimidating to me—until one day I didn’t have a choice.

I was waiting for a dentist appointment after work and I was starving, so I decided to go out to dinner alone. After settling in and enjoying a tasty meal for one, I realized that it wasn’t as scary as I had built it up in my head.

Funnily enough, the restaurant I went to must not get many solo diners, because they assumed I wanted to get my food as takeaway—they even packed it up at first before serving it to me on a plate. But I didn’t let this discourage me. I enjoyed my first solo dinner with a book and even treated myself to a dessert after.

Tips for eating out alone for the first time:

Avoid the crowds; If you find the idea of eating out alone uncomfortable, try going outside of peak times.

Sit at the bar. It can also be helpful to pick a restaurant with bar seating. You’ll often find other solo diners seated at the bar, which can make your first time eating out alone feel less awkward.

Bring a distraction. And if you’re worried about spending the whole time doomscrolling or not knowing what to do with your hands, bring along a book.

For reading list inspiration, check out Easiest Classic Novels to Read | 18 Easy-to-Read Classics for Beginners.

Conclusion: How to Enjoy Summer Alone

Doing things alone can be scary, even in the best of times. And in a way, summertime can make it even more intimidating to do things alone since so many people’s social calendars are seemingly packed to the brim.

But you know those moments when you feel scared to do something new? And then when you finally push yourself to do it, you’re left wondering, “What was I so scared about?”

The truth is, most things aren’t quite as bad as we build them up to be in our heads—and that’s definitely true when it comes to doing things alone in the summer.

Over time, I’ve realized that enjoying doing things alone is like a muscle: The more solo summer activities you try, the easier it becomes.

So put your sunglasses on, pack your favorite book, treat yourself to an iced coffee, and do whatever makes you happy—all on your own.

I can guarantee you’ll be glad you did.

Maja Krasnicka

Maja Krasnicka is a project manager and freelance writer based in London. Her recent articles were published in Betches and Business Insider. In her free time, Maja likes to learn new skills, read, and obsess over interior design.

Next Steps:

Pick one solo summer activity from this list and schedule it. If it’s eating out alone, make the reservation. If it’s a meet-up group, commit to the event. Then, put it your calendar—making a countdown is (fun) but optional.

Find a book for your solo reading in the park. Borrow it from your local library or order it now from one of these Amazon Alternatives for Books.

Plan your summer solo travel trip. Even if it’s just a weekend away or a small day trip. Get wanderlust inspiration with these 21 Quotes for Traveling Alone.

Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so these ideas are there when you need them.

Things To Do Alone in Summer: Common FAQs

What can you do alone in the summer for fun?

There are plenty of things to do alone in the summer, no matter your budget.

If you’re looking for free things to do alone in the summer, why not spend the day luxuriating in a local park with a good book and a homemade iced tea? Dreamy sunset strolls and cloud-gazing are also free and accessible to all.

If you’re spending the summer alone and you want to treat yourself, how about leveling-up your staycation by booking a hotel in your hometown for the weekend? Think room service and chilling poolside—without the hassel of going to the airport.

How do I spend my summer when I have no friends?

If you find yourself spending the summer alone and aren’t sure how to fill the time, first of all—don’t despair! Alone time is a great opportunity to get to know yourself better and to make progress towards your personal and/or professional goals.

Start by getting in the right mindset. Find inspiration from these 7 Books on Self-Awareness. Then, follow these tips to learn How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone.

What to do on a summer day at home?

Whether it’s scorching hot outside or unseasonably cloudy, sometimes you have to get a little creative with solo summer activities inside.

That’s when I turn to my Ultimate Guide to Self-Care with 100 Self-Care Ideas, like working on DIY projects, doing a little yoga or meditation, or going analog with a puzzle or paperback book.

What are some things you can do at home instead of going on holiday when you're alone and have nothing to do during your summer vacation?

There are plenty of things to do in the summer by yourself when you need to stay at home. The classic advice is to learn to be a tourist in your own city. For example, you can take yourself to the movies; try a new restaurant; explore a local musuem; stroll in a park or nearby nature reserve.

If you’re at home alone during the summer, check out 100 Self-Care Ideas to turn your boring summer into some serious pampering time.

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

What To Do Instead of Social Media

Merry August 18, 2025

Live what’s beyond the screen.

It feels a little sad thinking about writing this, but such is life in the age of an in-your-face, 24/7 newscycle, look-at-me-aren’t-I-interesting influencers, and cat videos. Understandably, I think it’s safe to say we’re all a little addicted to social media—even those of us trying to live a more analog life with paper books and journals replacing excessive screen time.

But it’s not easy.

When you’re eating dinner, unwinding after work, or just waiting in line at the grocery store, for so many of us, it’s become a natural impulse to reach for the phone. Even if we’re not looking at anything interesting. Even if we’re not really paying attention to what we’re reading or watching. Despite the lack of intrigue or real joy, it seems like we just can’t help ourselves. We. Must. Look.

But really, we don’t have to. We do have a choice to use social media less or not at all. It may not be easy at first to abstain. That’s okay. It’s not your fault. Big tech companies literally spend millions of dollars lobbying governments and paying huge teams large salaries to make their apps addictive and to craft crafty algorithms that bewitch, beguile, and tantalize.

Don’t give up, though.

The power of good habits is real. While it may be hard at first to use social media less, the more you pay attention to your impulses and make small, daily efforts to replace them with healthier (and more enjoyable!) activities, the less you’ll even want to look at social media. Because you’ll be too busy living life in the real world.

Start today. There’s no excuse. I’m giving you dozens of ideas of what to do instead of social media—and there are infinite other possibilities.

The shortlist: 34 things to do instead of social media

After you wake up: meditate; stretch; journal

When you eat: read a book; sit in silence; phone a friend

During your commute: listen to music; read; do a puzzle

At night: make a cup of tea; take a warm bath; write tomorrow’s to-do-list and today’s done list

If you want to be productive: learn a new language; do a word puzzle; study geography

If you want something creative and mindful: doodle; color in a coloring book

When you’re bored inside: do a puzzle; try a DIY craft; bake something simple

If you want to go outside but don’t know what to do: go for a quick walk; do nothing

When you have just a few minutes to fill: do a five-minute stretch; look out the window; drink a glass of water

When you need to zone out: play with kinetic sand or putty; color, doodle, or knit

If you want to unwind before bed: stretch; journal; read

If you want a hobby you can do anywhere:draw; learn a new language; play cards; knit

More articles on analog living:

How to Live a More Analog Life

How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone

5 New Things I Want to Do Alone This Year

Things to do instead of social media

When was the last time you let an entire day pass without spending at least a few minutes scrolling?

No judgment here—it’s hard! The entire world is clawing for our attention online, and resistance is tough. In my opinion, the easiest way out is finding new activities to replace the scrolling urge.

And there are plenty. Here are 34 ideas of things to do instead of social media:

What to do instead of social media in the morning after you wake up

Did you know that over half (55%) of US adults check Facebook as soon as they wake up? Scary stuff, right? Especially when you consider these apps “cause the release of large amounts of dopamine into our brains’ reward pathway all at once, just like heroin, or meth, or alcohol.” Those words are from the Standard Medicine News Center, not me.

Instead of attacking your brain with advertisements and angry news articles, why not take a gentler start to the day?

Meditate. Or if meditating isn’t for you, just take 10 deep breaths. I know it sounds silly, but give it a try. Do it sitting upright in bed, standing in front of a window, or American Psycho-style while looking at yourself in the mirror. The point is to start your day slow and easy rather than flooding your brain with advertisements, doomsday news, and comparison-inducing pictures of random people on the Internet who always seem to have it more together than you.

Stretch. If meditating or breathing exercises are a little too bland for you, then let’s get physical. Again, just five to 10 minutes of stretching is better than nothing. Do it in bed. Follow along with a YouTube video or just do what naturally feels good. Don’t forget to breathe deeply throughout.

Journal. Do you wake up with your mind already racing? Clear the air first thing by getting all that energy down on paper. It could be a to-do list if you’re really stressing, but try to save the responsibilities for later. Instead, maybe jot a few lines about the best part of yesterday, what you’re looking forward to today, or (the faithful standby) what you’re grateful for.

Things to do instead of scrolling social media when you eat

Has eating while scrolling (or watching) become the default? I guess so. A new report from YouGov reveals about one-third of adults look at their phones while eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Fight the urge to fill downtime (and chow time) with screen time.

Read a book. Or a magazine. Or a blog or even the newspaper. Whatever—but make it something you actually read. No skimming, no flitting through articles, and absolutely no scrolling. And when you get to the end of a page, maybe ponder it for a few seconds before immediately jumping to the next form of stimulation.

Sit in silence. Yes, it shouldn’t feel insane or serial killer-ish to just sit, unstimulated for a few minutes. I fear that’s become the case, though. Try it. Look out a window. Eat slowly. Let your mind wander or even become bored. (I’ll let you in on a secret: Boredome is where thinking and creativity blooms. And after that, you’re off to the races.)

Phone a friend. Don’t text them first. It’s really no big deal to call someone; if they’re busy or don’t feel like talking, they won’t pick up. Simple. But if they are free, lucky you. You get a few minutes to chat, catch up, and laugh with a friend—the oh-natural way to de-stress.** (Just be careful to not chew too loudly into the phone.)

Not at ease doing things alone?

What to do instead of scrolling social media during your commute

Your options here vary depending on whether you drive, walk, cycle, or ride public transportation to work. Or maybe you work from home and don’t have a commute at all. (In that case, I still recommend creating a brief relaxing morning routine for yourself before plunging headfirst into your inbox.)

Listen to music. Not just in the background. Really listen to the music. Actually, this is the #1 thing I miss from my old commute. Every morning, I could listen to almost an entire album in its entirety, memorize all the lyrics, and catch the sonic nuances I miss when songs are just playing in the background.

Read. Yes, reading will make a few appearances on my list of things to do instead of social media. I simply can’t extol the benefits of reading enough. And given our society is experiencing an alarming decline in reading comprehension, I think reading a book, a blog, a magazine (anything, really) is one of the best things you can do for yourself—morning, noon, or night.

Do a puzzle. I’m partial to Sudoku, but there are a lot of options out there: crossword puzzles, word searches, dare I say Wordle. It seems like there’s a new word game dominating the App Store rankings every few months. While mobile games have their own addictive qualities, I still think it’s better than getting sucked into the infinite social media scroll.

What to do instead of social media at night

This is prime scroll time. And I get it. We’re all damn tired. Life is hectic, expensive (ever more so, it seems, with each passing day). When you can finally call it quits for the evening and do some R&R, social media is an easy, low-effort go-to.

But there are better (less destructive) ways to unwind.

Make a cup of tea. Don’t just boil water, plop a tea bag in a mug, and be on your way. Instead, make it a ritual. Take out a teapot, a teacup, and a tray. Stand in the kitchen while you wait for the water to boil. Measure out loose leaf tea. Maybe even create your own blends, like mixing chamomile and peppermint together. Stir in honey, milk, or lemon—you get the idea.

Not a tea drinker?

You just need to find your favorite cup. Discover the best teas for non tea drinkers.

Take a warm bath. Is there anything more luxurious? While I prefer a good 45-minute soak with some tea, candles, and a good book, I realize this allotment isn’t practical for every night of the week. (Then again, most TV shows or doom-scrolling sessions end up being 45 minutes…) Even 15–20 minutes in the hot water with some bath oil and/or salts can melt away tension, warm up cold feet, and prep you for deeper, more restful sleep.

Write tomorrow’s to-do list and today’s done list. Preparing tomorrow’s to-do list the night before helps create mental space between where you are now (i.e., unwinding time) and the next day’s load of responsibilities. I’ve also recently gotten into writing “done” lists. Especially on days when I feel like I didn’t accomplish a lot, writing it all out on paper gives me a little screen-free dopamine hit—and helps me transition to relaxing time guilt-free.

Productive things to do instead of scrolling social media

The screen is just too irresistible. So re-train your brain.

Instead of scrolling mindlessly through advertisements (seriously, it feels like Instagram is mostly just ads these days), try downloading a few more “productive” apps to take over your screen time.

Learn a language. Duolingo is the mainstay, and the one I’ve used to learn a little Polish and a few words in Italian. But there’s also Babbel, Drops, or Memrise. Sure, you’re not going to get fluent using a language-learning app—but you’ll certainly do more good for your brain learning how to order a coffee in German than watching someone show off a Shein haul on TikTok.

Do a word puzzle. There’s a reason retired people start picking up crossword puzzles and Sudoku books (besides all the extra free time). They help keep your mind sharp. One study from the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry found a link between the frequency of doing word puzzles and cognitive functioning in adults aged 50 to 93. So instead of killing your brain with scrolling, how about helping it out with an analog, paperback puzzle book?

Study geography. The word “study” may be a bit of a stretch here, but quick: What’s the capital of Eritrea? It’s embarrassing not to know geography, isn’t it? Rather than burning your retinas with memes and hot takes, why not take the 10 minutes you would have wasted on TikTok and use it to learn capitals with apps like World Map Quiz?

Creative, mindful activities to do instead of doomscrolling on Instagram

This art isn’t going on the Internet. In fact, it could go straight in the trash if you want it to. The point isn’t to create something award-winning or innovative but to let the mind (and hand) wander freely for a few minutes and exercise your creative muscles—instead of numbing them with TikTok.

Doodle. ‘90s kids can draw that S shape (you know the one I’m talking about). A snowman. A house. An indiscernible abstract blob. (My go-to doodle in high school was different styles of Christmas trees.) Doodle on a napkin, in a notebook, or on the back of a receipt—anything to give your brain a little break without a glowing screen.

Color in a coloring book. If you prefer to color within the lines, that’s an option too. For this, you’ll need to buy an adult coloring book (Or a children’s coloring book. There are no age limits.) Put on some relaxing music, and let your hand and your crayons do the rest. I promise you’ll feel relaxed.

Indoor activities to do instead of social media

If you’re stuck inside for whatever reason (bad weather or waiting on the laundry), don’t reach for your phone out of habit to fill the space. Better yet, turn your phone on silent, put it in the other room, and focus on something analog. .

Do a puzzle. Jigsaw puzzles, in particular, are just the right combination of light mental stimulation and gentle motor movement. Enjoy a few moments of silence, or put on music or a podcast in the background. And when you’re done (even if it takes awhile), you can glue it, frame it, and hang it on the wall like a proud parent.

Try a DIY craft. It doesn’t have to be anything polished or Pinterest-worthy. Actually, it’s more fun if you don’t take it too seriously. Make a bookmark. Create a card to mail to a friend. Or cut up old magazines into a collage for your desk. (If you’re lost for inspiration, I share a lot more crafty inspiration in this list of 13 creative self-care ideas.)

Bake something simple. Again, you don’t have to get overly complicated (unless you want to). Baking brownies can literally take 15 minutes, especially if you use a boxed mix, so it doesn’t take much longer than a doomscroll. Plus, at the end, instead of FOMO, insecurities, and self-shame for feeling like you wasted time, you have a positive end result: brownies!

Outdoor activities to do instead of social media

Your grandma, your dad, and science are all in agreement: stepping outside and getting some fresh air is good for you. Period. In fact, a review of 42 studies “found an association with exposure to natural environments and improvements in several aspects of cognitive performance, including attention.”

As soon as you put down the phone and step outside, you’re already on the right track—it doesn’t really matter what you’re doing. Still, here are few ideas to inspire your day:

Go for a quick walk. Every time I take myself on a stupid little mental health walk, I come back home a new person. First, I tell myself, “Why don’t I do this more often?” And then I come home lighter, airier, sunnier, feeling more positive and even prettier—despite the fact that literally nothing has changed except I moved my body and got some fresh air. (On the flip side, has scrolling ever made you feel lighter and prettier?)

Do nothing. Sit on a bench. People-watch. Cloud-gaze. Lie in the grass if you’re near a park. Doing nothing is not only good for your mental health, it’s where the magic happens. As Professor Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, INSEAD Distinguished Professor of Leadership Development & Organisational Change told INSEAD: “…in many instances boredom can be a prelude to something. It can trigger our imagination and creativity.” And best of all? In a world that gets more expensive by the day, stepping outside and smelling the flower is free.

Quick minute activities to do instead of scrolling Instagram

Something that changed my life? Realizing I can still get value out of an activity even if I don’t do it for what I feel is a “worthwhile” amount of time. Doing yoga for 10 minutes is better than not at all. Going for a walk for 5 minutes is better than staying cooped up.

If you have less than 10 minutes? There’s still a lot of good you can do for your body and your mind:

Do a five-minute stretch. When I’m working from home and need a break between tasks, I used to “treat” myself with a few minutes on Instagram. Those few minutes usually ended up being longer than intended—and afterwards, I felt listless, burnt out, and mad at myself for wasting time. Now I pull up a 5-minute “at-your-desk stretch” on YouTube. Those five minutes feel like 15! At the end, I actually feel energized and ready to focus again—and happy with myself for making the right choice.

Look out the window. Not just a two-second quick break from your laptop. More like a long, rolling gaze. What do you see? Passers-by? Trees swaying a little in the breeze? Cute dogs walking by? Give yourself a few minutes to daydream. It’s like TV in your head.

Drink a glass of water. Like the most important things in life, it may not be glamorous, but it’s good for you. Then again, you can make it glamorous. Take five minutes to slice a lemon or some mint leaves. Toss in a few frozen raspberries. (I always keep those in the freezer for smoothies and fancy-ing up my water.) It gives your body a refresh; it gives your hands something to do; and it looks beautiful. Because life should be beautiful.

Mindless things to do instead of social media

Like everyone else in the world, I also sometimes just want to zone out and not think. That’s normal; that’s fine. But if you find yourself dissociating on TikTok too often for too long, it might be time to kick that habit and replace it with something equally brainless but a little less addictive.

Play with kinetic sand or putty. You can even get a little Zen garden to rake. It’s strangely satisfying and gives your brain a moment to zone out with an actually relaxing activity—instead of aggressive doomscrolling which, according to a research review published in Applied Research in Quality of Life, is bad for our mental well-being and life satisfaction. Just saying. SOURCE: Harvard Health Publishing

Color, doodle, or knit. All excellent options for zoning out without turning to social media. I’ve started doing this if I get stressed in the middle of the workday and need a few minutes to decompress. I put on some relaxing music (or even a guided meditation if I’m really stressing), grab a piece of paper, and let my brain be blissfully thoughtless.

Things to do instead of checking social media before going to bed

I don’t think I need to cite a statistic to demonstrate how often people look at social media before going to bed. We’re all guilty of it. And we know it’s bad for us, sending our bodies into a state of heightened alertness which (unsurprisingly) wreaks havoc on our sleep, per Scientific American.

Try this instead:

Stretch. A great way to start the day—and a great way to end it. Even if I’m super tired and come home later after a busy day, I can’t just crash into bed. Instead, I’ll open my laptop and pick a 10-minute evening wind-down stretch, which helps both my mind and my body decompress and get ready for a restful sleep.

Journal. Is there ever a bad time to journal? I don’t think so. Especially before bed when our minds are often running wild with the next day’s to-do list or a highlight reel of all the cringey stuff we said that day, journaling is a quick, easy, free way to let it all out and calm down for the night.

Read. I know people are into their e-readers, but in this case, a real book is best. In a study published by the journal Trials, one-third of participants said reading a book before bed improved their sleep. And I believe it. If I get into bed with a screen, I’ll probably stay up for 30+ minutes scrolling or watching. But if I crack open a book, I’ll be like an old man “resting my eyes” within 15 minutes.

Hobbies to replace social media you can do anywhere

If you want to quit your social media habit and make it stick, then you need to do more than resist temptation—you need to find a new go-to activity for filling downtime.

Enter hobbies. It seems like nobody has them anymore, even though research says hobbies are tied to better mental health. (Nobody’s saying that about social media, are they?)

Here are few on-the-go hobbies you can keep your bag to do instead of social media:

Drawing. Keep a tiny notebook in your bag and pull it out the next time you’ve got a few minutes to kill and want to reach for the phone. (No excuses! Pocket notebooks are easy to find, and these days, they’re probably smaller than that giant iPhone you’re carrying, anyway.)

Learning a new language. I’ve abandoned DuoLingo because I’m trying to go completely screen-free, but I have an impressive 700+ day streak for quite a while. (I actually used DuoLingo to help me kick my social media habit.) And guess what? All those five- or 10-minute daily exercises added up! These days, I can confidently order a coffee, clumsily ask for directions, or even struggle through reading a children’s book in Polish.

Playing cards. Solitaire. Go Fish. War. You may need a little more time (and space) to whip out a card game, but if you’ve got a flat surface, it’s a great way to fill the time without giving into the doomscroll.

Knitting. Or crocheting. I used to do cross-stitch. Depending on how big your everyday bag is, these projects can be surprisingly easy to carry out and pull out when you’ve got a few minutes of downtime. They keep your hands busy—and are much better for your brain than mindless scrolling.

Conclusion: There’s so much life beyond social media

Scrolling may seem like just a pesky habit, but it’s so much worse than that. Social media robs us of the most valuable thing in the world: time.

Time to spend with friends and family. Time to spend with ourselves. Time to learn new skills and discover new hobbies. Time to think.

Don’t you want to take that time back?

You don’t need to go cold turkey. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying checking out the fun goings-on online. But don’t let mindless scrolling become your default—not when there are so many great things to do instead of social media.

Things that leave you feeling refreshed rather than drained. Inspired instead of depressed.

If you’re looking for what to do instead of social media, just start small. Try one thing, and notice how it changes your mood, your focus, and your days.

The more we live life beyond the screen, the more we realize it’s actually more interesting than any feed.

Next Steps:

Pick one activity from this blog post and write in a Post-It. Stick that Post-It on your phone. The next time you get the urge to scroll, lock your phone screen, and try out your new analog activity instead.

Buy a book. Or rent one from the library. Keep it in your bag. When you want to reach for social media, reach for this book instead. Need reading inspiration? Check out my 2025 reading list.

Find more ways to cut the digital from your life. Read How to Live a More Analog Life: 5 easy, cheap (or free) ideas.

Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so these tips are there when you need them.

What To Do Instead of Social Media: Common FAQs

What to do when bored instead of social media?

Boredom actually isn’t a bad thing. The next time you’re feeling bored, instead of reaching for social media, let yourself sit with that boredom for a few minutes. Where does your mind go? If you need to let it out, try journaling or doodling—or just let the daydreaming run wild. When in doubt, move your body. Even a 10-minute walk can change your entire perspective.

Instead of going on social media, what hobbies can I pick up so I never get bored?

Hobbies are kind of like dating: You need to try a few and see what else is out there before you know what you like. So start experimenting! Keep a journal in your bag to draw or write in your free time. Explore classic novels to find your inner bookworm. Download a productive app to learn a new language, play chess, or try word puzzles. If one hobby doesn’t stick, no worries—try something else.

What do people with no social media spend their time doing?

Plenty! They read, write, draw, cook, play games, exercise… The list goes on and on! Most notably, people who don’t fill all their downtime with social media have usually mastered the skill of learning to do nothing. It’s not always easy at first, but the more you spend time in the real world, the less you’ll feel the pull to the digital. You can start with these 5 ways to live a more analog life.

What can I do on the Internet instead of social media?

Rather than scrolling mindlessly with whatever the latest algorithm decides to forcefeed you, try using the Internet intentionally. Read articles or blog posts. Watch documentaries. Take online courses. Listen to music—not just as background noise. The Internet literally contains all the knowledge of the universe. And it’s a lot easier to access the good stuff when you stop defaulting to your social media feed.

With what can you replace social media scrolling?

It depends what you’re into. If you’re a reader, start carrying a book everywhere you go. If that’s not your thing, invest in a good notebook for journaling, writing, or sketching. Or if you’re hooked on apps, try a more productive one, like DuoLingo for language learning or World Map Quiz for geography. An analog break is even better, like five minutes of stretching, walking, or looking out the window—anything offline to break the scroll and remind you there’s life beyond the feed.

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

Merry

Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's halfway there.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.

Black and white painting of a woman with headscarf standing in a dramatic landscape, representing solo travel anxiety

Scared of Traveling Alone: How to Deal with Solo Travel Anxiety

Daniel John August 7, 2025

Don’t let your fear of traveling alone hold you back. These tips will help.

I’m pretty happy being by myself. In fact, I would say I’m comfortably a 4.5 on the Five Stages of Being a Merry Loner. I’ve gotten to the point where going to the cinema with anyone else seems utterly ridiculous (it’s the least social activity imaginable), and there is not a shred of self consciousness when eating alone at a restaurant. Zilch.

So, you’d assume solo travel would be a breeze, right? Well, let me introduce you to my pal: anxiety.

The shortlist: 4 strategies to stop being scared of traveling alone

If you’re spiraling over all the what-ifs
If you’ve heard hostels are great—but you’re nervous about staying with so many strangers
If you’ve got major decision fatigue when traveling alone
If you’re overwhelmed by all the new sights, sounds, and smells

Coping with solo travel anxiety

My love-hate relationship with anxiety (he is, in his own way, trying to protect me) began at an early age. I was the kid who got nervous at sleepovers, the one who fretted whether his toys were getting along, and above all, the one who really hated change. And guess what? As it turns out, travel is just one long exercise in change: new beds, new people, new daily uncertainties.

Despite all that, I’ve somehow managed to survive (and occasionally thrive) through two months of interrailing around Europe and half a year of navigating Turkey and Southeast Asia. In fact, as I type, I’m in the process of packing my bags to head back to Vietnam. All on my merry lonesome.

Whether you’re a proud loner or just Loner Curious, it’s still normal to be a little scared of traveling alone—but that doesn’t mean you have to let solo travel anxiety hold you back from your dream destinations.

Let’s go hand-in-hand through some of the top reasons people have a fear of traveling alone—and come up with strategies to kick your solo travel anxiety:

More articles on solo travel:

Solo Travel to Paris: Itinerary for Traveling to Paris Solo + 26 Things to Do Alone in Paris

I Don’t Like Traveling Alone—But I Keep Doing It Anyway

Alone at Night in Paris—Where to Take Yourself on a Solo Date

1. You're spiraling over all the what-ifs

There is absolutely no getting around it: Traveling alone comes with uncertainty. In the bucketloads.

You’re ditching the comfort of your own little bubble and swapping it for the big wide world. That can sound horrifically daunting, but taking it step by step is the way to go. And spoiler: The uncertainty and unknown is where the magic happens.

For me, the largest uncertainty was: “What if I can’t handle it?” For you, it might be: “What if I get ill?” “What if I hurt myself?” “What if I get stranded in an airport with the wrong visa?”

Whatever it is, these are just the what-ifs, and they are a very, very natural response to the prospect of solo travel. Your brain is simply trying to prepare for the worst-case scenarios.

It’s a pain in the arse, don’t get me wrong—but the less attention you give these thoughts, the less intense they become.

Tip: Prepare for your biggest solo travel fear—then let the rest go.

There’s a fine line between preparing and over-preparing.

Obsessive planning tells your nervous system there’s something to fear, which keeps you stuck in anxious loops. Instead, pick one major thing to plan well, and let the rest go.

For me, that involves doing a decent amount of research on accommodation options. I’m not a party-person anymore, so ending up in a rowdy hostel or in a hotel next to a club is nightmare-fuel. Once I know that where I’m staying will be quiet, comfortable, and welcoming, a lot of my what-ifs calm down.

For you, that might look like researching good restaurants, being near a medical centre, or staying in the safest neighbourhood in the area.

Then you have to stay firm and not fall into the trap of prepping for everything else. Remind yourself you have sorted out your main concern and that you can handle whatever else is thrown your way.

2. You’ve heard hostels are great—but you’re nervous about staying with so many strangers

Storytime: After five dreamy days in the Algarve, beach-hopping, making new friends, and feeling freer than ever, I booked the first decent-reviewed hostel I could find en route to Seville.

Big mistake.

The place revolved around drinking games (conveniently held right outside my bedroom), and I shared a dorm with a 60-year-old whose snores registered on the Richter scale. As I lay there, bed shaking from the aftershocks and sleep deprived, I promised myself: no more rushed hostel bookings.

For us Merry Loners, hostels can present all sorts of hurdles and challenges. Of course, you can choose to avoid them entirely—but they’re affordable, and meeting people from all over the world is one of the best parts of travel (yes, even as a loner).

Tip: Look for quiet, non-party hostels

My top tip for you if you have solo travel anxiety about overcrowded hostels is to pick hostels that aren’t considered very social.

There are a few ways to find these. First, look at the reviews. If you see things like “Really nice place, just a little quiet,” cha-ching! You’ve hit the jackpot.

Second, avoid any hostel with an on-site or nearby bar (double-check the pictures for this). Next, don’t go with the cheapest option. You pay for what you get in hostels, and cheapo ones typically attract the loud crowds.

I’m aware that it might sound like I’m setting you up for a boring stay, but keep in mind that for us introverted solo travelers, a place that is considered “not very social” to others could offer the perfect level of interaction for us. It also means you’re more likely to meet like-minded travelers.

A few more quick tips if you’re anxious about traveling alone and staying in a hostel:

If you’re staying in dorms, every week or two, book a couple days in a private room or move to a hotel.

If you’re a people-pleaser, practice saying no. Saying yes to everyone and every offer you receive is exhausting—people won’t mind if you decline.

3. You get major decision fatigue when traveling alone

Waking up each morning with a clean slate ahead and not having to cater to anyone else’s needs is unbelievably liberating. “Hmmm, today I think I’ll spend the morning at the beach, the afternoon at a cosy café with my book, and the evening eating good food with a view— bliss.”

There is, however, a negative to all this choice: decision fatigue.

I’m not the most decisive person (at the best of times), but if you throw in tiredness, language barriers, and a steady stream of revolving new situations, I’m like a deer in headlights.

I’m aware this sounds a little ridiculous.“Oh, poor you, having to decide what to do each day while traveling around the world must be so hard.” I get it. Plenty of my friends and family would kill for that challenge. But it’s a very real thing, and not having anyone to share decision-making responsibility with is tiring when you’re traveling alone.

Tip: Stick to routines, and keep your itinerary light

Routine is a key part of your life, whether you’re conscious of it or not. So when you’re on the road, finding structure is important.

Try to stick to the same sleep/wake cycle when possible; develop an exercise schedule (however light); and attempt to eat meals at similar times each day.

Speaking of meals, don’t feel bad about eating at the same place for several days (or weeks) in a row. There’s great pressure when traveling to try all the amazing foods on offer, but sometimes having a regular spot you know and love can really reduce decision fatigue.

I would also really recommend booking in “do nothing” days.

It’s very tempting to pack your calendar full of activities so you don’t miss out on anything. Great on paper, absolutely rubbish in reality—you’ll soon crash and burn. If I’m in a place for a week, I block out at least two to three days for relaxing, laundry, life admin (the new Gym, Tan, Laundry for those Jersey Shore fans).

4. You’re overwhelmed by all the new sights, sounds, and smells

This point might not apply to you, but I wanted to include it because it’s something I’ve had to manage—and I have a sneaking suspicion that if you also enjoy time alone, you might be a little sensitive to sensory input, too.

Sensory processing sensitivity is a heightened sensitivity to sensory stimuli (try saying that quickly), like light, sound, smell, and touch. Basically, if you find yourself squirming when loud emergency vehicles soar past or you’re someone who hates overhead lights and opts for lamps and candles, you might fall into this category.

It’s actually very common, with 15-20% of the population believed to experience the world in this way—so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It can, however, impact how you take in the world when you’re on the road.

One of the most amazing things about travel is that everything is new. It’s like seeing the world through a toddler’s eyes, and it makes you realize how switched off you can be in normal life. But after a while, all these new sights, smells, noises, and tastes can feel a little too much, making the magic of a busy Bangkok market turn into a sensory slaughterhouse.

Tip: Pack gear to help you find your zen

This will depend on which sense is the most sensitive for you. For me, that’s sound, so I won’t travel anywhere without my noise-cancelling headphones or earplugs. These two tools help bring the noise down to a far more manageable level and make me feel more in control of my environment.

If harsh lights bother you, I’ve found baseball caps and/or sunglasses are great, while steering clear of markets or harbors is best when smells are too much.

When in doubt, one of the best things you can do for sensory overload is to book a hotel room and allow yourself to withdraw from the world. Take a day or two with the curtains drawn, order food, and situate yourself horizontally. You’ll soon feel yourself again.

If imagining noisy, crowded environments is enough to get your solo travel anxiety going, then let’s take a look at some of the quieter spots you could enjoy on your travels: from the rivers of Yellowstone to the beaches of Ericeira to the cats of Istanbul.

I got over my fear of traveling alone—and you can too

If you had asked my friends a few years ago who among us would be the most likely to travel alone, I would have been rock bottom on the list—not due to my fear of being alone (quite the opposite) but due to solo travel anxiety.

But if I can do it, you absolutely can.

If you’re headed off on your first solo trip, then it’s normal to be feeling scared of traveling alone. To be honest, yes—you might have the odd wobble. But you’ll learn a lot about yourself (cliché, but true), meet some seriously interesting people, and have an adventure you’d never get sitting at home wondering, “What if?”

So start your research (but not too much), pack your bags, and go forth into the big wide world, even if you’re still a little anxious. You got this.

Daniel John

Daniel John is a freelance copywriter from the UK who spends his days writing words for brands across industries—from travel to automotive to mental health. When not working, you’ll most likely find him behind the lens coaxing cats into posing for the camera. You can see some of his professional work at danieljohncopy.com

danieljohncopy.com

Next Steps:

Start planning your solo trip. If could be close to home, like a weekend away in the next town. Or it could be a dreamy, long-haul vacation like a solo trip to Paris. If that’s the case, I’ve got your 7-day solo travel Paris itinerary.

Get a little more solo travel courage. If you’re not convinced about the value of solo travel, read this essay: I Don’t Like Traveling Alone—But I Keep Doing It Anyway.

Build some solo travel inspiration. Get yourself in the mood for solo travel planning with these 21 quotes for traveling alone.

Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so these tips are there when you need them.

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

Watercolor painting of a teapot and teacup with black tea on a table, next to a red box, with a draped purple and gray fabric background

6 Ethical Tea Companies for Fair Trade Tea Bags & Organic Tea

Merry July 30, 2025

Not to be a bummer, but even a seemingly harmless cup of tea is steeped in big business, environmental desolation, and capitalist exploitation. So I’ve been looking for ethical tea companies instead.

Tea has been a mainstay in my daily routine since early adolescence. I didn’t become a regular coffee drinker until college, when my go-to for surviving early mornings and dull classes was a large, dry cappuccino (sometimes with an extra shot of espresso if my soul was particularly suffering that day).

But even then, I still turned to my vat of piping hot peppermint tea to get me through late-night study sessions at the library. (Pro tip: I saved money by bringing my own tea bags with me so I only had to hand over fifty cents for a cup of hot water.)

Usually, those tea bags weren’t organic. While I grew up in a family that believed in regular exercise and three well-balanced meals a day, those meals typically comprised lean protein, frozen vegetables, and a standard rice, pasta, or potato product (thanks, mom!). Nutritious and delicious—but not certified organic.

It wasn’t until I started buying my own groceries and the like that I realized most of the mainstream crap we consume every day can have dire consequences on the environment and the safety and wellbeing of others.

In other words, as I entered early adulthood, became more interested in politics, and attempted to expand my worldview beyond my own tiny borders, I learned that even my simple cup of tea was tied up in the throes of big business, environmental desolation, and capitalist exploitation.

Dismayed and disheartened by the dark side of my morning Earl Grey, that’s how I found my way to ethical tea companies, i.e., ethical tea brands that prioritize environmental and social responsibility—ya know, like paying people a living wage and not needlessly wrapping every single little tea bag in a piece of plastic that will immediately get thrown away—and then haunt the Earth forever.

And good news: These brands aren’t prohibitively expensive. They’re not difficult to find. And they taste damn good.

After some careful research, I’ve weeded out the posers to identify six truly ethical tea companies that allow you to indulge in a delectable pot of herbal goodness—without the guilt of environmental destruction or poverty hanging overhead.

I also share why it matters where you buy your tea from and the importance of voting with your dollar.

The shortlist: the 6 most ethical tea companies for fair trade tea bags & organic tea

Traditional Medicinals—best for functional herbal teas
Numi Tea—best for 100% plastic-free packaging
Yogi Tea—best for a wide variety of flavors
Pukka Herbs—best for organic, Ayurvedic blends
Equal Exchange—best for worker-owned, fair trade tea
DAVIDsTEA—best for loose-leaf blends

More articles on mindful consumption:

Best Tea for Non Tea Drinkers | How to Start Drinking Tea

5 Alternatives to Amazon for Books (and why I no longer buy books from Amazon)

How to Live a More Analog Life: 5 easy, cheap (or free) ideas

My favorite ethical tea companies for indulgence without the moral consequences

These are my favorite ethical and sustainable tea brands that I’ve added to my tea repertoire over the years.

Whether I’m tucking a few fair trade tea bags into my purse to prepare for a future on-the-go tea emergency or going all-out at home with loose leaf tea and the antique tea cups I found at a flea market, these ethical tea companies let me enjoy the healthy, heart-warming benefits of a cup—without a guilty conscience.

What’s that—not a tea lover? You just haven’t found your perfect match yet.

I wrote an incredibly detailed, 3,000-word guide on how to start drinking tea, breaking down the basics of tea, the 10 best teas for non tea drinkers, and how to find the best tea(s) for you.

Join the thousands of other readers who have learned how to start drinking tea with my guide on the Best Tea for Non Tea Drinkers. (It’s free.)

1. Traditional Medicinals—best for functional herbal teas

Traditional Medicinals has been in business since 1974, long before “wellness” and “clean living” became the buzzwords at which so many of us roll our eyes today.

It was founded by herbalist Rosemary Gladstar and community activist and environmentalist Drake Sadler—the former of which is apparently something of a rockstar in the herbal community. Gladstar founded the California School of Herbal Studies, United Plant Savers, and Sage Mountain Botanical Sanctuary. She’s also written 27 books, including a few on my reading list:

Herbs for Stress & Anxiety

Herbs for Common Ailments

Herbs for Long-Lasting Health

The company goes more into their certifications and environmental projects in their annual impact report, but here’s a little taste: They are certified FairWild, Fair Trade, Fair for Life, USDA Organic, and a B Corp. On top of that, Traditional Medicinals is also a registered California Benefit Corporation (like Patagonia) and has been named among the Best Places to Work in the North Bay Business journal for seven years in a row.

Beyond these impressive credentials, what I like most about Traditional Medicinals is (as the name suggests), their tea blends are rooted in functional herbal practices—and if you’re totally lost on what that means, they explain in their Herb Library, where you can get a deep dive into the properties, health benefits, and traditional uses of different herbs, such as raspberry leaf, lemon balm leaf, and licorice root.

Key Takeaways:

Certified organic, FairWild, Fair for Life, Fair Trade, B Corp, and a registered California Benefit Corporation
Functional herbal teas, lozenges, and capsules
Award-winning workplace culture

Where to find Traditional Medicinals Tea?

My favorite Traditional Medicinals tea is their licorice root tea.

2. Numi Tea—best for 100% plastic-free packaging

Numi Tea has a pretty stacked resume when it comes to evaluating ethical tea companies. The brand was founded in Oakland, California in 1999 by brother-and-sister duo Ahmed Rahim and Reem Hasson who chose the name in memory of the steeped desert lime they drank during their childhood in Baghdad.

Unrelated, but one thing I always find inspiring is people who have diverse educational and professional backgrounds—and that’s Ahmed and Reem. Ahmed studied theater and psychology in the USA before working as a filmmaker and photographer and running teahouses in Europe. Reem, meanwhile, has a BS in bio medical engineering, a Diploma d’Arte from Lorenzo de Medici Art Institute in Florence, Italy, and an M.F.A. in Arts & Consciousness Studies from JFK University in California.

They both contribute to the Numi Foundation, a non-profit organization that’s provided global assistance for COVID-19, water access, and education in California and Iraq.

Other things I like? Numi Tea’s tea wrappers are 100% compostable and completely plastic-free, which means they contribute 67% fewer greenhouse gas emissions than conventional tea wrappers.

And they’ve got credentials in spades: Fair Trade Certified, Verified Fair Trade, Climate Neutral Certified, and B Corp certified. (In fact, they were among the first 30 companies certified as B Corps back in 2006.)

Key Takeaways:

Tea wrappers are 100% compostable & plastic-free, leaving 67% lower emissions than conventional tea wrappers
Fair Trade Certified, Verified Fair Trade, Climate Neutral Certified, certified B Corp, and active in community development through the Numi Foundation
Also makes organic whole leaf teas in gallon-sized pouches, specially made for brewing iced tea

Where to find Numi Tea?

My favorite Numi Tea is their Moroccan Mint.

3. Yogi Tea—best for a wide variety of flavors

On their website, Yogi Tea claims they’re more than a sustainable or ethical tea brand: They call themselves a “wellbeing company.”

This is due in part to their focus on Ayurveda, where they lean on ancient Indian practices and modern scientific research to create tea blends that restore energy, calm your mind, support digestion, etc., depending on what you need in the moment. And they’ve been at it for a while.

In business for over 50 years, Yogi Tea offers 40+ tea blends from 140+ different plants—and every tea they sell has been certified organic since Day 1.

Also cool? They’ve been a certified B Corp (which means they must meet certain social responsibility and environmental standards) since 2014. And their Oregon production facility was actually the first LEED-certified tea factory in the whole world, which means it meets the U.S. Green Building Council’s framework for efficient, cost-saving green buildings.

You can see more proof of Yogi Tea’s responsible business practices in their annual sustainability report, where the tea company spells out how they’re reducing waste by making their packaging lighter, shortening the distance their tea has to travel, and supporting regenerative agriculture.

Believe it or not, Yogi Tea has reduced the carbon footprint so much that the greatest source of emissions during the lifecycle of one of their teas is now actually the energy we use at home to boil water to brew a cup!

Key Takeaways:

Offers 40+ tea blends from 140+ plants with a focus on wellness and flavor
Certified B Corp and home to the world’s first LEED-certified tea factory
Continuously upgrading packaging and supply chain practices for greater sustainability

Where to find Yogi Tea?

My favorite Yogi tea is roasted dandelion spice detox.

4. Pukka Herbs—best for organic, Ayurvedic blends

Pukka Herbs is a certified organic tea brand founded by an ex-business consultant and a conservation and herbalism enthusiast. Together, the pair supposedly took inspiration from the Hindi word pukka, which means “real, authentic, or genuine.”

These are principles the company says they aim to uphold—and it looks like they’re staying true to their word.

For one, they’ve got third-party certifications to back up their claims.

Pukka Herbs is certified by Fair for Life, which ensures their supply chain is socially and environmentally responsible, guaranteeing fair wages and safe, respectful working environments, among other benefits for local families and communities. The tea brand also bears the FairWild certification, which verifies that wild plant ingredients are harvested legally, ethically, and sustainably. Plus, all of their tea is 100% certified organic, as verified by the Soil Association.

One thing that sets Pukka Herbs apart is their dedication to Ayurveda, what John Hopkins Medicine defines as “a whole-body (holistic) system of medicine that began in India more than 3,000 years ago” and “a natural approach to all aspects of health and well-being.” For example, some of the Pukka Herbs blends include ingredients like turmeric, ginger, holy basil, and licorice root, which are believed to support digestion, reduce inflammation, or calm the nervous system.

I also like that this tea brand donates 1% of their annual sales to environmental and social projects; their tea bags are certified compostable; and they’ve planted 1.6M trees in partnership with Tree Sisters, a reforestation charity.

(Plus, the packaging is pretty delightful-looking, which we all know shouldn’t be a selling point, but is.)

Key Takeaways:

Certified organic, Fair for Life certified, and FairWild certified
Blends are inspired by Ayurvedic tradition
Tea bags are compostable and free of plastic

Where to find Pukka Herbs?

My favorite Pukka Herbs tea is their Love herbal tea with rose, chamomile, and lavender.

5. Equal Exchange—best for worker-owned, fair trade tea

Maybe most impressive among these ethical tea companies is Equal Exchange (and actually, they make a lot more than tea, also offering coffee, chocolate, nuts, dried fruit, and olive oil).

Founded all the way back in 1986, Equal Exchange has a fascinating history. The founding trio was intent on creating an organization that valued every stage of the supply chain and gave farmers economic control of their future. So they made the bold (and risky) decision to import fairly traded coffee from Nicaragua—at a time when the US had an embargo against the Sandinista government.

They went all in on their decision, quitting their jobs and investing their own money in the company. By 1991, Equal Exchange reached $1 million in sales.

There’s much more to the history of Equal Exchange. Beyond the company’s commitment to partnering with farmer cooperatives and building economically and environmentally just trade partnerships, it is organized as a worker co-op. This is an alternative business model where every worker-owner gets one vote, invests an equal share in the business, and participates in profit distribution at the end of the year.

Treating people fairly and making decisions together as a team? Those are the kinds of values I like to see. Knowing I’m supporting those principles with my single cup of tea makes every sip that much more enjoyable.

If you wish, learn more about Equal Exchange’s mission, history, co-op model, and the alternative trade economy.

Key Takeaways:

Worker-owned cooperative using direct and fair trade practices
Partners with democratically-run farmer co-ops in 40+ countries
Sells fair trade coffee, chocolate, nuts, dried fruit, and olive oil

Where to find Equal Exchange?

One of my favorite teas of all time (not just from Equal Exchange) is their organic rooibos tea.

6. DAVIDsTEA—best for loose leaf blends

Founded in 2008 in Montréal, DAVIDsTEA is a tea and tea accessory shop and Canada’s largest tea boutique. At one point, the brand had 200+ stores with about 60 locations in the USA, but COVID-19 troubles forced them to shutter most of their storefronts.

While that’s a bummer for my fellow analog living enthusiasts who like to sniff and shop their tea in person, it’s super easy (a little too easy) to do a big old tea haul online directly from DAVIDsTEA.

What I like most about this shop is their wide selection of loose leaf tea blends—including black, green, oolong, white, and many herbal blends.They even sell matcha, maté, and all manner of different accessories to brew your perfect cup the way you want it—think teapots, tea cups, travel mugs, infusers, iced tea pitchers, you name it.

It’s worth noting that only about 60% of DAVIDsTEA is certified organic, but the company is taking steps to improve sustainability. They’re Fair Trade certified and a member of ETP, a global membership tackling economic, ethical, and environmental issues in the tea trade.

And they have other social projects of note, like financing supporting the installation of sustainable water filtration systems in Nepal and donating tea to frontline workers and educators.

Key Takeaways:

Huge variety of loose-leaf teas
Members of the Ethical Tea Partnership (ETP) and Fair Trade certified
Sells a big selection of brewing accessories

Where to find DAVIDsTEA

My favorite DAVIDsTEA is their Winter Earl Grey.

Why your choice of tea matters

A cup of tea seems pretty harmless, right? It’s just a few dried leaves in water. But the journey those leaves take to get from plantation to processing facility to your home can be a treacherous one.

I’ll keep the doomsday talk to a minimum, but here’s some food for thought:

As I entered early adulthood, became more interested in politics, and attempted to expand my worldview beyond my own tiny borders, I learned that even my simple cup of tea was tied up in the throes of big business, environmental desolation, and capitalist exploitation.

A Merry Loner Tweet

Large tea companies (including Starbucks) have been linked to plantations with human rights abuse. According to the 2022 report from the Business & Human Rights Resource Centre, employees on farms were “reprimanded or dismissed for union activity or protesting for better treatment.” SOURCE: Food Dive

Third-party certifications that are meant to ensure ethical working conditions aren’t always trustworthy. Per an investigation into the third-part Rainforest Alliance certification, Foreign Correspondent found workers on Sri Lankan estates were “without access to drinking water and toilets in the tea field.” The same investigation revealed “children working in vegetable gardens instead of attending school.” SOURCE: ABC News

Organic tea can significantly reduce environmental harm (and not just because of the pesticides). In a study on soil ecology, tea yield, and tea plan organic cultivation, converting conventional tea gardens into organic tea gardens improves soil health in several ways: pH balance optimizes; organic nutrient levels rise; beneficial enzyme activity increases; and microbial communities becomes more diverse, which is all needed to enhance the functional compounds in tea leaves. SOURCE: Frontiers

Consider the importance of voting with your dollar

I’m a big believer in voting with your dollar. When the world is spiraling out of control, simply reading about politics kills your soul, and it feels like you’ll never be able to effect change in a society caught in the dirty clutches of billionaires and AI, look to the money.

I think it’s (unfortunately) pretty obvious to most of us that money is power—which is why I think twice about who I give my money to.

For example, rather than letting my love of reading contribute to Jeff Bezos’s increasing wealth, I support local, independent bookstores and ethical online bookstores with these 5 Amazon Alternatives for Books.

(Also: long live the library.)

Ultimately, voting with your dollar is what the Loner Mindset is all about: bucking trends, choosing intention over convenience, and not letting the algorithms decide what you bring into your home.

A Merry Loner Tweet

Opting for ethical tea companies instead of mainstream brands like Lipton or Bigelow is another way I can use my money (even if it’s as little as $7) to stand up for what I believe in: fair labor, environmental sustainability, and socially responsible business practices.

Yes, sometimes organic, fair trade tea is a little bit more expensive than the cheaper brands. But I would rather drink one high-quality, ethically-sourced cup of tea than mindlessly consume five plastic-wrapped tea bags from a company that exploits the Earth and their workers.

Ultimately, voting with your dollar is what the Loner Mindset is all about: bucking trends, choosing intention over convenience, and not letting the algorithms decide what you bring into your home.

Conclusion: Into tea? Prioritize brands that do right by you, their workers, and the environment

Any tea fiend will tell you that a warm pot of tea is more than a beverage. It’s the gentle friend of difficult mornings, the balm for aching throats and breaking hearts, and the cozy companion for rainy days and quiet nights.

Some people really suffer to give us these special moments, though.

The tea industry is wrought with exploitative labor conditions and nefarious business practices that take advantage of workers and our precious Earth. Sadly, ethical shopping can sometimes get a bad rap as overly expensive and overly righteous—but that doesn’t help anybody.

There’s no need to feel guilty or pressure yourself to overhaul your entire pantry this afternoon. Just start small. One box of tea means a few more dollars funding sustainable farming, clean water access, or workers co-ops—and fewer dollars inflating Amazon’s shareholders’ pockets.

And bag by bag, cup by cup, we fund the better world we wish to see.

Next Steps:

Find more ways to shop more ethically. For my fellow bookworms, I encourage you to explore 5 Amazon Alternatives to Books, so we can enjoy reading without funding Amazon and unfair labor conditions.

Curb the itch to consume, altogether. Read How to Stop Wanting Things for a mindset shift that’s helped me crave less and live more.

Expand your tea palate. In this 3,000-word guide, I help the tea curious understand the tea spectrum and find new flavors to enjoy: How to Start Drinking Tea.

Ethical Tea Companies: Common FAQs

What makes a tea company “ethical”?

“Ethical” is, of course, a subjective term, but ethical tea companies generally have three things in common: 1) They treat workers fairly; 2) They minimize their environmental impact; 3) They contribute to social and environmental progress. One way to gauge a tea company’s ethics is to look for third-party certifications, like USDA organic, Fair Trade, and Fair for Life.

Are ethical teas more expensive?

Ethical teas can be more expensive than mainstream or store-brand teas—but not always. For example, Pukka Herbs, Yogi Tea, and Numi Tea are all easily accessible ethical tea brands you can find at Target. Other companies like Traditional Medicinals have a rewards program where you earn Plant Power Points and discounts every time you shop, which can help bring the price down.

Can I still get fast shipping from ethical brands?

Yes! These days, it’s quite easy to get quick shipping from ethical brands (Amazon isn’t the only company who offers free shipping!).

What are the healthiest tea brands?

As a general rule of thumb, tea is a healthy drink with numerous studies pointing to reduced inflammation, better heart health, and even cancer prevention, largely due to the high antioxidant levels in tea. So no matter what kind of tea you drink, you’re likely already on the path to better health. For the healthiest tea brands (note: I am not a doctor and this is not health advice), I’m personally a fan of brands that put the focus on herbal infusions, like Traditional Medicinals, Yogi Tea, or Pukka Herbs.

What are some brands of bagged tea that tea lovers recommend?

Diehard tea lovers like myself often look beyond the supermarket staples like Lipton or Bigelow for tea brands that offer organic ingredients and more varied flavor and herbal varieties. My personal favorites are Traditional Medicinals, Yogi Tea, or Pukka Herbs.

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

Merry

Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.

How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone

Merry July 23, 2025

When the presence (or absence) of others becomes the deciding factor for how you live your life, your life isn’t your own anymore.

I have always valued my independence. Being an unabashed loner means I can do what I want, when I want, without waiting for other people to approve, text me back to make plans, or otherwise give me the green light.

But not everyone has a natural inclination to do things alone, and that’s normal. I’ve had friends flat-out tell me they would never even think of going out to dinner by themselves. Others have called me up to join them at the grocery store because they didn’t want to run errands alone. There’s nothing wrong with enjoy the company of others’; spending time with friends is fun, healthy, and a key part of what makes us human. It becomes problematic, however, when you feel you can’t do something by yourself; when you’re dependent on the presence or approval of others to do the things you want and you’re afraid to act without them. For example, what if there’s a new restaurant you want to try, a film you want to see, or a weekend trip you want to take? But no one’s free, so the plan gets put on hold indefinitely as it’s simply inconceivable to think you’d do it alone.

If that’s the case, then it might be time to work on your loner mindset.

The loner mindset isn’t about shunning others or being anti-social. It’s not even about being an introvert. It’s about self-confidence, self-esteem, and feeling happy, calm, and at ease on your own. Learning to achieve this is really the best gift you can give yourself. Because if you can be happy on your own, then you can do anything.

In this post, I share five simple ways to get better at doing things alone so you can do things on your own without feeling self-conscious, lonely, or like everyone is staring at you.

The shortlist: 5 simple ways to get better at doing things alone

Understand what’s really making you nervous
Start small with low-stress activities
Imagine the worst-case scenario (so you can prepare for it)
Remind yourself: no one is actually looking at you
Try again—even if you didn’t like it the first time

1. Understand what’s really making you nervous

Being a human is a complicated mess, and a large part of that mess comes from social interactions. Even the most extroverted social butterflies can still get nervous in a room full of strangers. In fact, research from PLoS ONE posits that social anxiety disorder (which is “one of the most common psychiatric disorders characterized by a persistent and over-whelming fear of being negatively evaluated in one or more social or interactional situations”) can happen to lots of different people.

To get better at doing things alone, the trick isn’t to totally eradicate feelings of nerves or anxiety. (They’re kind of part of the package deal of being a human creature.) But you can learn to deal with the feelings, and that’s easier to do when you know exactly what’s making you nervous. Though nerves and anxiety can often feel like one big, foreboding cloud, there is a source. Finding it is the first step to overcoming it.

For example, suppose you want to take yourself out to dinner at that new Japanese restaurant. What are you anxious about? Do you think sitting at a table alone will make it look like you got stood up? Are you worried about what you would do if you didn’t sit on your phone the whole time? (Like stare into blank space like a weirdo while couples and friends canoodle around you?) Are you dreading telling the host “just one” and watching them smile kindly at you with what you can only assume is pity?

If you can specify the thing(s) that are making you nervous, then you can: 1) try to rationalize it away; and/or 2) come up with a strategy to tackle it.

Let’s take that dinner for example. If you want to go out by yourself and not doom-scroll the entire time (you’re already winning), be prepared to fight the urge to fidget by bringing along a book. Not that much into reading? Go analog and old-school with a stack of magazines. (You can buy those at the drugstore, by the way, for my readers who may have never touched a glossy stack in their Gen Z lives.)

Need a book for your solo dinner? See my curated reading lists, classic and contemporary book recommendations, and themed round-ups to accompany you on your solo night out.

Key Takeaway: To learn how to overcome the fear of doing things alone, first you need to understand that fear. Take time to really think about what’s making you uncomfortable. Once you can name it, you can plan for it, challenge it, or let it go.

2. Start small with low-stress activities

Sometimes, baby steps can make all the difference. In August 2024, I flew from Paris to Warsaw to see The Eras Tour all by myself. I’ve been told this is living The Merry Loner Lifestyle on expert level. If you’re not there yet (and you don’t plan to ever be there), that’s okay. Just start small.

If you’re getting ready to learn how to start doing things alone, go slow and easy with low-stress, everyday activities. Here are few ideas of beginner-friendly activities to start doing things alone:

Sit in a coffee shop for a few hours, but don’t use your phone. Instead, read a book. Bring a pack of cards and play solitaire. Knit. Draw. Hell, you could even just sit and sip and people-watch. The point is: Don’t do anything that takes you away from yourself or the present moment, i.e., scrolling on social media.

Go on a long walk. Again, no distractions. No listening to podcasts. No phoning a friend. Music is okay, but it’s even better if you can just really let yourself be alone with your thoughts for a bit to daydream.

Take yourself to a matinee movie. Remember those? ICYMI, movie theaters have gotten a facelift since the pandemic. The snacks have improved. The seats are more comfortable. There’s even booze. Alone at the movies, you don’t need to share snacks or agree on a time. Plus, no one’s paying attention to the empty seat beside you; they’re focused on the screen, just like you.

By starting with a gentle, low-stress activity, you’ll get to try out how it feels doing things alone in a low-pressure environment.

Try This: If hitting up coffee shops on your own is already the norm for you, let’s step outside of the box a little bit. For more inspiration on activities to help you learn how to get better at doing things alone, check out 5 New Things I Want to Do Alone This Year.

3. Imagine the worst-case scenario (so you can prepare for it)

Sometimes, a little doomsday thinking can actually help you look on the bright side.

Say you want to sign up for a cooking class, but none of your friends are into it and you’re worried about looking awkward when everyone else pairs up. Lean into that anxiety. What if no one talks to you? What Iif you’re the worst in the class and everyone notices? What if you feel like the odd one out the whole time?

What if? Are any of these outcomes really that bad? So no one talks to you; chances are, they’re nervous too. A small smile and an introduction from your part could be just the thing to put you (and them) at ease, and maybe even make a new friend.

The “worst case” is never as bad as we think.

Once you take the time to imagine your worst-case scenario and truly picture it happening, you can often poke holes in it and realize that even if it did happen, you’d still be okay, and perhaps even proud of yourself for trying. It’s called decatastrophizing, a technique “that explores the reality of a feared stimulus as a way of diminishing its imagined or anticipated danger,” as defined by the American Psychological Association. You can use it for help the next time you’re in an anxiety spiral, worrying about how to do things alone without feeling self-conscious.

Key Takeaway: Even if something embarrassing happens, it’s not really the end of the world. By imagining your fear in detail, you can give yourself a little reality check and realize that feeling awkward and embarrassed is a totally surmountable problem.

Curious how else a little doomsday thinking can (strangely) help you be more optimistic? Read “Life Is Sad, and Then You Die” for a surprising revelation that can help you find peace.

4. Remind yourself: no one is actually looking at you

If going to a concert by yourself or taking yourself out to that new French restaurant seems a little daunting, you’re not being weird. This is actually a totally normal reaction. It’s called the spotlight effect. As defined in a study by T Gilovich et al. for the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the spotlight effect describes the phenomenon where “people overestimate the extent to which their actions and appearance are noted by others.” In other words, you think people are paying attention to you a lot more than they actually are. As part of the study, some participants were asked to walk around wearing a tee shirt with either a flattering or embarrassing picture; most people overestimated the number of observers who remembered what they were wearing, i.e., nobody cares that much about what you’re doing.

Unwittingly, I was referencing this phenomenon when I was giving advice to fellow students back in high school.

If a friend was feeling nervous before giving a presentation in front of the class (again, a totally normal feeling), I would say to them: “There’s no need to be nervous. Were you paying attention to anybody else’s presentation on the potato famine? No, you were bored and daydreaming. No one is going to be listening attentively to your presentation.”

In hindsight, that probably came off as a little cold, but my intention was pure: Don’t sweat it. People aren’t paying as much attention to you as you think. What are they paying attention to? Themselves, probably.

It’s a brain thing, apparently. A paper by Meghan L Meyer et al. published in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience observed that “the same part of the brain that supports self-reflection…also spontaneously engages by default whenever the brain is free from external demands to attention.” In other words, when we have a free minute, we default to thinking about ourselves, yet another reason to remind yourself that when you’re out in public doing something alone (whether that’s dining solo in a restaurant or going to a concert), nobody is paying attention to you. So feel free to do what you want, anxiety-free.

Key Takeaway and Tip: When you’re eating dinner out alone, going solo to the movies, or taking yourself out on another solo date and you start to feel self-conscious, remind yourself that people are not hyper-focusing on you like you worry they are. You’re just yet another person experiencing the spotlight effect (and everyone else is doing it, too).

5. Try again, even if you didn’t like it the first time

You know what they say: “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.” Turns out, there’s a bit of psychological truth to that. Per the Cleveland Clinic, exposure therapy is “a type of therapy in which you’re gradually exposed to the things, situations, and activities you fear.”

I’m not saying that people need to go to therapy to learn how to get better at doing things alone. But the idea behind this technique is that by gradually facing your fears in approachable, manageable steps, you can little by little reduce anxiety, build your confidence, and make the intimidating thing less intimidating.

Again, it’s good to start with baby steps, like that coffee shop visit or solo walk in the park. But if your first solo outing feels uncomfortable, awkward, or makes you come home with your palms sweating, don’t give up after the first round. Stick with it.

Try a new solo activity altogether

There are literally infinite things you can do by yourself. Go to the cinema. Go see a play. Go ice skating. Sign up for a painting class. Take a sketch pad, head to the park, and do your best to capture nature’s beauty. Buy a Sudoko book and spend 30 minutes using your brain (and ignoring your phone) outside in the sunshine.

As the old saying goes: “Only boring people get bored.” So if you haven’t had any luck enjoying spending time with yourself, it’s not because it’s impossible; you just haven’t found the right fit yet.

Try your first solo activity again, but change one thing

Maybe reading solo in a cafe isn’t your thing. But reading in a cocktail bar with a gin and tonic? That could be the ultimate relaxing experience. Or maybe instead of setting up camp with your sketchpad in the busiest part of the park, you try heading to a calmer, quieter corner.

Learning how to start doing things alone can take a bit of experimenting, but that’s half the fun of it. Part of the beauty of learning to enjoy spending time with yourself is that you’re always on a great, big, magical quest of getting to know yourself. What piques your interest? What makes you curious? What do you find annoying? What did you use to find annoying, but with time and a new perspective, you’ve come to love?

Revert back to step one: understand what’s really making you nervous

Now’s the time to whip out your journal, your Notes app, a nearby paper napkin, or wherever else you can turn your thoughts into written word. If that first solo activity didn’t click, why? What went wrong? How did it make you feel? And what didn’t you like about that feeling?

The first step in solving a problem is to name it. Then, you can tweak your approach and try again next time. For example, if going to a museum by yourself made you feel too fidgety, bored, and stuck in your own head, then how about trying something a little more hands-on next time? Like signing up for a painting class, gardening outside, or going for a hike.

Key Takeaway: If you didn’t have the time of your life on your first solo date, that’s okay. Just don’t give up here. Reflect on what you didn’t like. Think about what you can do differently next time. And then try again.

Learning how to get better at doing things alone takes more than one shot, and that’s kind of the point. With every solo date, you’re learning more about yourself and building your confidence.

This isn’t about doing everything alone all the time; community is still important

The point of figuring out how to get better at doing things alone isn’t to avoid doing things with other people.

Belonging to and participating in a community plays an important role in enduring mental and even physical health. The research is all there:

Social interaction is good for your health. A study from Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America found that more social interaction “was associated with lower risk of physiological dysregulation,” AKA, your body’s ability to keep internal systems stable and balanced. In contrast, the same study found that people who are socially isolated can have greater risk of hypertension than those with diabetes.

The benefits extend to both physical and mental health. Per a study from SSM – Population Health, a weaker sense of community was associated with “poorer general and mental health.” And that goes for all three age groups studied: from 18 to over 60 years old.

Having strong social relationships may even make you live longer. After assessing the findings of 148 studies, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychologist at Brigham Young University, in Provo, Utah, came to the conclusion that “the size and quality of people’s social relationships either equalled or outmatched almost all the other factors in determining people’s mortality.” Source: BBC

So, why prioritize alone time? Spending time alone, caring for yourself, and learning more about who you are ultimately makes you a better you — and a better person to participate in and support your community, who, in turn, can better support and nurture you. It all comes full circle. Learn to fill your own cup, and you can better pour into others. Everyone wins.

Solitude isn’t a problem to be solved

There’s nothing wrong with craving company. We’re social animals and hardwired for community and connection. But when the presence (or absence) of others becomes the deciding factor for how you live your life, your life isn’t your own anymore.

Doing things alone isn’t lame. It isn’t embarrassing. And it doesn’t have to be anxiety-inducing. It’s a skill and something you can learn (and get better at) over time. Yes, sometimes it feels awkward, especially at first. But every time you take yourself out (whether that’s for a dinner, a walk in the park, or a weekend trip), you realize that you’re capable of creating your own happiness.

That’s freedom, not loneliness.

Next Steps:

Plan a solo date. Because if there’s something you really want to do, why wait for a date? This Guide to Dating Yourself explains why you should prioritize spending time with yourself and shares a few easy-breezy solo date ideas.

Get inspiration for your first (or next) solo trip. It could be as simple as a day trip to the next town over, a weekend away a few hours from your home, or something bold and bucket-list-worthy, like a solo trip to Paris.

Learn how to feel more comfortable going to social events alone, like going to a wedding solo (it’s not as daunting as it sounds).

Practice doing things alone, step by step. A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge gives you bite-sized daily challenges to help you experiment with doing things alone—no stress, no judgment.

How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone: Common FAQs

Why do I not like doing things alone?

A lot of us were taught that it’s shameful, lame, or embarrassing to do things alone. Oh, that must mean that no one picked you. Or you got stood up. Or you were left out of the party. Too often, people seem to forget that spending time alone can be a choice—not a consequence of lack of an invitation. Unfortunately, a lot of us picked up this bad habit. But you can start getting over it and learn how to get better at doing things alone with A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge.

How can I enjoy doing things alone and not feel the need to have someone to accompany me?

Reframe the scenario. Instead of thinking, “I have no one to go to dinner with tonight,” remind yourself: “This is pretty sweet. I can pick the restaurant. I can pick the time. And I can linger over dessert as long as I please.”

It can feel awkward, nerve-wracking, or even a little scary to start doing things alone if you’re always used to having a wingman. So if you still need a little emotional support on your first solo outing, why not bring along another kind of wingman? It could be a book, a journal, a sketchpad, a crossword puzzle. Just don’t let your phone be your wingman. The idea is to disconnect and focus on some in-the-moment you time—no FOMO or doom-scrolling allowed.

How to get used to doing things alone?

It’s like any skill: practice. If your first solo data feels uncomfortable or just weird, try not to overthink it. No one was staring at you. You didn’t have spinach in your teeth. And even if you said something a little lame, I can promise you that everyone has forgotten it by now.

The most important thing is that you get back out there again, whether that’s at the coffee house, restaurant, or yoga studio. The more you try new things alone, the more comfortable (and confident) you’ll feel about yourself.

How do you stop being scared of doing things alone?

Remember as a kid, how your mind would play tricks on you after watching a scary movie? Your imagination is where most of the fear lives. So bring yourself back to reality. Use the worst-case scenario trick from earlier. Ask yourself: “What exactly am I afraid of? What would I do if that actually happened?” Upon a little deeper reflection, you’ll find that most fears (like awkward glances or feeling out of place) are totally survivable.

Plus, courage builds over time. The more you push yourself outside of your comfort zone and spend time doing things alone, the easier (and more rewarding) it will be.

Things To Do Alone in the Summer

The shortlist: 8 things to do alone in the summer

What is the Loner Mindset all about?

1. Spend time in parks

2. Attend events solo (even if it feels scary)

Not at ease doing things alone?

3. Learn a new skill

4. Go to galleries, museums, and exhibitions

5. Take yourself on a solo movie or theater date

6. Do something you've been putting off for a while

7. Be a tourist in your own city

8. Eat out alone

Conclusion: How to Enjoy Summer Alone

Maja Krasnicka

Next Steps:

Things To Do Alone in Summer: Common FAQs

What can you do alone in the summer for fun?

How do I spend my summer when I have no friends?

What to do on a summer day at home?

What are some things you can do at home instead of going on holiday when you're alone and have nothing to do during your summer vacation?

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

Feeling Lonely?

What To Do Instead of Social Media

The shortlist: 34 things to do instead of social media

What does analog living have to do with being a merry loner?

Things to do instead of social media

What to do instead of social media in the morning after you wake up

Things to do instead of scrolling social media when you eat

Not at ease doing things alone?

What to do instead of scrolling social media during your commute

What to do instead of social media at night

Productive things to do instead of scrolling social media

Creative, mindful activities to do instead of doomscrolling on Instagram

Indoor activities to do instead of social media

Outdoor activities to do instead of social media

Quick minute activities to do instead of scrolling Instagram

Mindless things to do instead of social media

Things to do instead of checking social media before going to bed

Hobbies to replace social media you can do anywhere

Conclusion: There’s so much life beyond social media

Next Steps:

What To Do Instead of Social Media: Common FAQs

What to do when bored instead of social media?

Instead of going on social media, what hobbies can I pick up so I never get bored?

What do people with no social media spend their time doing?

What can I do on the Internet instead of social media?

With what can you replace social media scrolling?

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

Merry

Feeling Lonely?

Scared of Traveling Alone: How to Deal with Solo Travel Anxiety

The shortlist: 4 strategies to stop being scared of traveling alone

Coping with solo travel anxiety

What does solo travel have to do with being a merry loner?

1. You're spiraling over all the what-ifs

2. You’ve heard hostels are great—but you’re nervous about staying with so many strangers

3. You get major decision fatigue when traveling alone

4. You’re overwhelmed by all the new sights, sounds, and smells

I got over my fear of traveling alone—and you can too

Daniel John

Next Steps:

Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

Feeling Lonely?

6 Ethical Tea Companies for Fair Trade Tea Bags & Organic Tea

The shortlist: the 6 most ethical tea companies for fair trade tea bags & organic tea

What does mindful consumption have to do with being a merry loner?

My favorite ethical tea companies for indulgence without the moral consequences

1. Traditional Medicinals—best for functional herbal teas

2. Numi Tea—best for 100% plastic-free packaging

3. Yogi Tea—best for a wide variety of flavors

4. Pukka Herbs—best for organic, Ayurvedic blends

5. Equal Exchange—best for worker-owned, fair trade tea

6. DAVIDsTEA—best for loose leaf blends

Why your choice of tea matters

Consider the importance of voting with your dollar

Conclusion: Into tea? Prioritize brands that do right by you, their workers, and the environment

Next Steps:

Ethical Tea Companies: Common FAQs

What makes a tea company “ethical”?

Are ethical teas more expensive?