For those born with an innate sense of wanderlust, it can be difficult to imagine there are others who don’t share the same yearning to move. But for some, traveling isn’t a series of glittering memories. When prompted to pack a suitcase and brave the rails, road, or sky, be it across the world or a stone’s throw away, they see not picturesque walks along riverbanks, new aromas wafting their way, or foreign tongues catching their ears. They see long queues, packing restrictions, and suffocating crowds. Above all, they see the unknown.
The idea of traveling alone can be even more jarring. Still, even if you’re afraid of traveling alone, you might feel a quiet stirring within to test yourself and see how far you can go, both on the map and in your mind. Doing so requires quieting the anxieties bubbling beneath the surface and turning your attention to the voice of optimism pushing you forward. These books will feed that voice.
The shortlist: 4 books on traveling alone to feed your wanderlust
4 books about traveling alone to inspire your next trip
The clichés of traveling are true, I fear. It, quite literally, expands your horizons and pushes you past the geography, language, and culture that have contained and shaped you. You meet new people, smell new smells, savor (or spit out) new tastes, and learn that the world and its inhabitants, customs, and philosophies are far more numerous than that which you’ve encountered—or will ever. For no matter how many flights we board or rails we cross, we simply can’t see everything, leaving many lessons unlearned and stories unread.
All this to say, traveling is always worth the effort because we always return home with a new perspective about ourselves, the world, and everything we thought we knew. If you’ve never traveled alone before and you’re hesitant to try, let these stories inspire you.
About the author: Joy Sullivan (unknown) is a poet and educator. She was the poet-in-residence for the Wexner Center for the Arts and has guest-lectured at Stanford, Florida State University, and other institutions. She now leads writing workshops and writes the newsletter, Necessary Salt.
I love this book so much that I no longer own it. I gave it to a friend last year who had recently moved into a new apartment in a new city by herself. I hoped it would give her the same balm it did me. Written by Joy Sullivan during the pandemic, this collection of poems recounts the emotional aftermath of leaving: getting a divorce; quitting one’s job; moving across the country.
As in solo travel, there’s loneliness in leaving. But loneliness is the necessary precursor to self-discovery, growth, and paths towards greater things:
“First, you must realize you’re homesick for all the lives you’re not living. Then, you must commit to the road and the rising loneliness. To the sincere thrill of coming apart.” — from “Instructions for Traveling West” by Joy Sullivan
During your solo travels, there will likely be moments where you feel you’re “coming apart.” That means you’re on the road to somewhere worthwhile. Keep trekking.
About the author: Cheryl Strayed (1968—) is an American writer and podcast host. In addition to “Wild,” she’s written two nonfiction books, “Tiny Beautiful Things” and “Brave Enough,” and one novel, “Torch.”
A sensation of the 2010s, Cheryl Strayed’s memoir also lives on in a 2014 film adaptation, in which Reese Witherspoon portrays the author’s daring quest to hike 1,000+ miles of the Pacific Crest Trail — without training, guidance, or companionship. It’s another poignant memoir that gives credence to the cliché: Particularly in periods of transition when what we thought were constants in our lives begin to give way, voluntarily displacing ourselves (however temporarily) is sometimes the only way to regain balance and rediscover ourselves. Or as is blithely summarized in small talk at parties, “Solo travel helped me find myself.”
The loss of a parent and the end of a marriage are likely more relatable to a middle-aged audience, but younger readers can also find comfort in Strayed’s story as a reminder that the power to redesign your life and start anew is always within you. The presence (or absence) of others, though, can be a powerful force and, in some cases, the deciding factor of how we live our lives. Read How to Get Better at Doing Things Alone for proddings to regain your independence and stop waiting on other people’s permission to live your life.
About the author: Paulina Bren (1966—) is an American writer, historian, and Adjunct Professor of Multidisciplinary Studies on the Pittsburgh Endowment Chair in the Humanities at Vassar College. Born in Brno, Czechoslovakia, her early work focused on postwar Europe. In recent years, she’s turned her attention to women’s history. In 2024, she wrote “She-Wolves: The Untold History of Women on Wall Street.“
This book tells the story of a different kind of solo travel. Not one of visiting foreign lands for cultural or self-discovery but to begin a new life — and leave an old one behind. In “The Barbizon,” Paulina Bren tells the history of the Barbizon Hotel and its evolution from a respectable women’s boarding house to “the go-to destination for any young American woman with a dream to be something more.” Up until its closure in 1981, the women’s-only hotel hosted was a temporary home to “young women with artistic aspirations,” including names such as Sylvia Plath, Joan Didion, Grace Kelly, and Betsey Johnson.
The most courageous solo trip one can take is with a one-way ticket, leaving behind all that is familiar for the promise of a better life. Though your next (or first) solo trip may include a return ticket, the stories of the young women who journeyed to The Barbizon are an inspiring reminder to take risks, move outside your comfort zone, and actively pursue becoming the person you want to be.
Are you the person you want to be? Learning about who we are (and who we want to become) is a never-ending journey, but it helps to know where you’re starting from. These books on self-awareness can help you meet yourself.
About the author: John Bell Bouton (1830—1902) was an American newspaper editor, journalist, and author. He also published a novel exploring male friendship, “Round the Block: An American Novel.“
Published in 1887, this travelogue captures John Bell Bouton’s journey to Russia and his experiences of new-to-him cuisine, landscapes, and people.
Without the ease of modern technologies that make it easy to feel at home even when we’re on the other side of the world, it goes without saying that traveling (and traveling alone) in the 19th century was an altogether different kind of experience than we know today. Still, Bouton’s reflections remain relatable as they underscore one of the timeless benefits of traveling alone: freedom to let our curiosity lead us. Like “Instructions for Traveling West,” “Wild,” and “The Barbizon,” this solo travel book focuses not on destinations but on the desires to begin traveling and the many complications and delights encountered along the way.
It’s much easier to let your own curiosity guide your travels when you’re not constantly tned into the voices of others. Getting off social media (or at least reducing your time spent staring into the void) makes a big difference. Learn How to Quit Social Media, without deleting your accounts, to turn your focus from algorithms to the real world.
Books on solo travel — my top pick
Poetry is always a good idea. Maybe you’re contemplating a cross-country road trip or a spontaneous trek to the other side of the world. Perhaps you just need a change of scenery, and a cozy weekend alone in the next over will do. Joy Sullivan’s poems can help you tune into heart’s yearnings so your feet can lead you where your soul needs to go.
Books on traveling alone remind us of what is possible
There’s something inherently stirring about the open road. When we move beyond our known territories (even just for a weekend), we allow ourselves to move into new ways of thinking and consider different realities. For embarking on the open road alone is as much a journey within as it is outward, giving you the chance to explore not only different tastes, sights, and sounds but different vesions of yourself.
When travel feels out of reach, overwhelming, or otherwise unmanageable, books on traveling alone remind us that it’s never too late to begin the journey. We need only the courage to take the first step forward.
Next Steps:
Choose the first book that piques your interest. Don’t overthink it (and don’t put it off and keep scrolling). Not sure where to start. Just read a few pages to start. Joy Sullivan’s “Instructions for Traveling West” is short but powerful reading.
Pick a day your next (or first) solo trip. It doesn’t have to be far to be worthwhile. Why not take a day trip to a neighboring town where you don’t know anyone and the streets are unusual?
If you’ve never traveled alone before, practice doing things alone first in a place you feel comfortable in. A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge guides you through a week of bite-sized challenges to get more comfortabel (and confident) doing things alone without feeling lonely.
Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.
Books on Traveling Alone: FAQs
What are some good travel books to invoke wanderlust?
“Roundabout to Moscow” by John Bell Bouton is a 19th-century travelogue that inspires dreamy fantasies of crossing Europe by train. If you’re tired of RyanAir and crowded airports and want a slower, more romantic way to travel, start here.
What are the most inspirational books on traveling that you have read?
Cheryl Strayed’s “Wild” tells the tale of a recent divorcée who sets off to hike 1,000+ miles of the Pacific Crest Trail alone. It’s an inspiring story of challenging yourself, quite literally moving outside of your comfort zone, and finding it in you to anew when life comes undone.
What is the best book you have read which has inspired you to travel and live abroad?
“The Barbizon” by Paulina Bren isn’t a modern memoir on becoming a digital nomad or bacpacking around the world. But in my eyes, it does much more to incite solo travel and inspire you to leave what you know a build the life you’ve been dreaming of.
What are some good books to read while travelling?
While traveling alone, I suggest bringing along Joy Sullivan’s collection of poems, “Instructions for Traveling West.” Compared to a dense novel, it’s easy to start or end each day of your journey by reading one poem—and her verses on “commit[ting] to the road” and “the sincere thrill of coming apart” will help you stay the course even when things get tough.
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As an aside, let’s not forget that ChatGPT’s self-proclaimed mission is “to ensure that artificial general intelligence benefits all of humanity.” How encouraging people to buy more things they likely don’t need benefits humanity is beyond me. But what do I know?
One easy but impactful way to support your community and your own wellbeing is to shop local—and you don’t have to break the bank or otherwise inconvenience yourself to do it.
Read on to learn 8 easy, affordable ways to support local businesses and why this matters.
The shortlist: 8 ways to support local businesses (without spending a lot of money)
Shopping local seems pretty easy. Buy from shops near your home, right? Not really.
Most of the brands we touch on a regular basis can all be traced back to a few megacorporations:
“A handful of corporations control the majority market share of almost 80% of dozens of grocery items bought regularly by ordinary Americans,” reveals a joint investigation by the Guardian and Food and Water Watch.
More of a visual learner? Good created a fantastic infographic that shows how just ten companies own pretty much all the food and beverage brands we know and buy.
If you’re into videos, check out political economist Jennifer Clapp’s presentation at Duke’s World Food Policy Center on concentrated corporate power in food systems and why it matters.
I’m not saying we should all become homesteaders and start making our own toothpaste and milk. But shopping local when and where you can is a low-lift way to support your local community and put money in the pockets of families trying to make a living—not in the clutches of megacorporations and their shareholders.
And it doesn’t have to inconvenience you or cost you more money.
Try these 8 simple swaps to support local businesses in your community:
1. Buy coffee beans or grounds from a local shop instead of a grocery store
Instead of giving your money to Stop & Shop (AKA Ahold Delhaize, a Dutch-Belgian multinational retail and wholesale holding company), why not give it to the small business owner running the local coffee shop down your street?
It’s an easy swap in your weekly routine. Beyond supporting your local community, you get something out of it too: social connection.
Rather than mindlessly adding beans to your virtual cart or scanning your way zombie-like through self-checkout, you can meet your local barista.
And because coffee is a consumable, you’ll soon become a regular at your local coffee shop, filling up on freshly ground beans and low-effort, but comfortably familiar conversation with your local baristas.
Key takeaway: By buying beans from a local coffee shop instead of a corporate grocery store, you support a small business and build ties with your community.
There’s big power in small talk.
During the pandemic, I quit my desk job and worked as a barista for a year in my neighborhood coffee shop. Within a few weeks, I knew almost every regular (and their drink order) by name—and I became friends with many of them.
We went to dinner together, hosted parties, and exchanged masked-up, over-the-counter hugs when one of us was having a bad day. (In 2020—2021, it was often that one of us was having a bad day.)
The interactions were small and surface level at first, but all those tiny, consistent conversations built up over time. After that, Main Street wasn’t just somewhere I ran errands; it was a lively community full of familiar faces.
Not a coffee drinker? What about fresh tea leaves instead?
If your local coffee shop doesn’t sell tea, you have other options.
They may not be local to you, but these ethical tea companies prioritize workers’ rights and environmental protection (which can’t be said for just any tea brand you see on the grocery store shelf).
2. Get groceries at your local farmer’s market
If you’re already buying coffee from a local shop, take things up a notch by doing some of your weekly grocery shopping at the local farmer’s market.
Obviously, you’re still going to need to head to a big-box store for staples like toilet paper and sponges. But when it comes to actual food (e.g., milk, fruits, vegetables, bread, etc.) you can get most of it from a local seller.
And once you go farmer’s market, you won’t want to go back to grocery store tomatoes:
“Produce from local farmers has spent more time on the vine, on the tree or in the ground, so you get better taste and more nutrients,” Melinda Cater, MS, RD, CSG, LDN and Clinical Dietician II at Sibley Memorial Hospital told John Hopkins Medicine.
Browsing the stalls at your farmer’s market also gives you a chance to meet and mingle with your community, something we all need more of nowadays.
Key takeaway: When you shop at your local farmer’s market instead of your big-box store, you not only support and participate in your local community, you get to eat tastier, healthier food, too.
Getting involved in your local community makes life more enjoyable.
But it can be nerve-wracking to introduce yourself to strangers and initiate conversations.
Don’t have the courage to try new things by yourself? You can build it. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to build your self-confidence and reduce social anxiety.
3. Buy books from a local, in-person bookstore
This is one of my favorite ways to support local businesses, and IMHO, it’s the easiest way for beginners to get started shopping local.
Why? Because whether you order a book from Amazon or pick it up from your local bookstore, the end product is exactly the same.
But instead of giving the gazillion-dollar company even more money—and funding a business that puts workers’ health at risk, barely pays them a living wage, and lets them get injured on the job—you’re supporting a person making a living in your local community.
Plus, isn’t it just delicious to spend some time wandering the shelves of a bookstore?
I’d say it’s much more pleasant than clicking ADD TO CART and getting bombarded by notifications, ads, and emails pressuring you to buy more things you don’t need.
Key takeaway: Shopping at your local bookstore keeps money in your community instead of sending it to Jeff Bezos. And you still get exactly the same product.
Can’t find the book you want in your local bookstore?
Your local bookstore owner is usually more than happy to order it for you.
If you really can’t find what you need and want to order it online but stay away from the big, bad Amazon, try these affordable alternatives to Amazon.
4. Shop clothes from local boutiques instead of name-brand stores or online
I don’t think I need to tell you that fast fashion is one of the worst things to come out of the 21st century.
But let me jog your memory anyway:
60% of textiles contain microplastic, which can accumulate in soil and groundwater when textiles decompose in landfills. In fact, 11% of all plastic waste comes from clothing and textile, making it the third biggest contributor. SOURCES: U.S. Government Accountability Office and United Nations News
The fashion industry consumes 86 million Olympic-sized swimming pools of water per year. SOURCE: United Nations News
Of course, the best way to fight fast fashion is to simply buy less.
The next best thing we can do is buy better by shopping second-hand and/or local.
Shop from second-hand stores. It’s a win-win. You help eliminate fashion waste instead of contributing to it, and you’re supporting a small business at the same time.
Visit a local tailor. Ask them to transform an article of clothing you own or thrifted into something new. Or buy fabric and commission something from scratch. Instead of funding Zara, you’re supporting local artisan with an amazing skill.
Go to a local boutique. The clothes may be new, but you’re putting money in the hands of a local shop owner in your community instead of H&M, and that’s what matters most.
Key takeaway: Buy your clothes from small businesses by shopping at thrift stores and locally-owned boutiques. You can even bring fabric to your local tailor and ask them to create a bespoke piece for you.
Fashion is fun. It’s not your fault we got to this point.
Everywhere we look, we’re being pressured to buy more. It can be hard to fight it.
That’s why I wrote this post on How to Stop Wanting Thingsto help you kill the desire to consume, once and for all.
5. Eat at local restaurants instead of chains
Locally owned restaurants bring so much to their communities.
I’m sure we’ve all driven by a once-favorite local restaurant that went belly up when their lease expired or they just couldn’t fight the corporate competition anymore. Only when we see the gray husks of their storefronts do we realize how beloved a presence they were in the local lore.
Don’t let these folks go out of business.
Instead of getting your daily coffee fix from Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts, visit your local café.
Instead of ordering Uber Eats from Domino’s Pizza, go to your local pizza guy down the block for a box.
Key takeaway: Locally owned restaurants add energy and spirit to your community. Skip corporate chains that make you order on a screen and settle into a mom-and-pop booth instead.
Why not take yourself on a date to your local pub this week?
Back when I lived in Providence, Rhode Island, I was a regular at Harry’s Burger Bar (one of the many delightful bars in Providence). Every Tuesday night, I’d settle in with a book, a burger, and a beer for some quality time with myself.
It was a date I never skipped—but I know eating alone can feel weird for a lot of people.
6. For gifts, check out local shops instead of ordering online
Another easy way to support local businesses instead of buying more useless plastic trinkets made by unfortunate, overworked souls in an overseas factory: go to local shops and boutiques for gift-giving.
There are so many great, handmade wares to buy to support a local artisan and business instead of a factory and a robber baron, like:
Handmade pottery from a local studio
Flowers from a local florist
Sweaters from a local knitting shop
Paintings from a local artist
Beer from a local brewery
Honey from a local farmer
Pretty soap and bath things from a local craftsman
Key takeaway: Don’t default to Amazon when it’s time to buy gifts for loved ones. Instead, head to local shops for handmade goods made from local artists and tradespeople.
Know a fellow self-care fiend?
Create a locally sourced self-care gift basket with local honey, flowers, soap, and the like.
7. Follow local businesses on social media—and tell friends
If you’re not ready to spend any money, don’t. (Although I know this is often a lot easier said than done.)
You can still support local businesses without whipping out your wallet. Often, the best way you can help a small business is by simply spreading the word.
Did your local barista make your latte just the way you like it? Leave the coffee shop a review on Google so more people can find them.
Did you buy delicious fresh vegetables or flowers at your local farmer’s market? Tell a friend about it. Better yet, invite them to join you next week.
Did you discover the perfect burrito at a joint around the corner? Follow them on social media and tell your coworkers about it.
Key takeaway: Support doesn’t always have to mean money. Help your local business owners keep their shops going by spreading the word at work, with your friends, and online.
Did something in this post spark a new idea? Give you a different perspective? Make your day a little brighter?
Tell a friend. You can simply share this article with them.
Better yet, send them to A Merry Loner’s newsletter so they can also get ideas to enjoy their own company (and their life) more.
8. When in doubt, ask yourself: “Is there a local business I can buy this from instead?”
Buying beans from a local coffee shop. Shopping from local bookstores instead of Amazon. Eating at mom-and-pop restaurants instead of chains.
These are just some ways you can shop local. Once you get in the habit of it, it becomes a lot easier and more obvious to find other ways to support local businesses in your community.
Key takeaway: The next time you go to buy something online, stop and see if there’s a local business you can buy it from instead. Every purchase counts.
Why support local businesses
The jaws of Big Business are clamping down on us.
Doesn’t it feel like you need to create an account (and, in doing so, hand over your personal data) to buy pretty much anything online now? Corporations are squeezing us for fees wherever and whenever they can. All the while, quality seems to be tumbling fast.
When you support local businesses, you not only enrich your community and keep money in the hands of working people, but you fight the good fight against the megacorporations intent on owning it all.
More reasons to support local businesses in your town:
1. You keep money in your local community
When you buy from a local shop, you keep your money in your community instead of sending it to distant shareholders.
This does two good things for your community.
First, it keeps your town thriving, economically. I don’t think we need to get in the weeds about this. You know that when you shop from local businesses, you help keep them in business. That keeps families in your neighborhood making it money; it keeps tax dollars going back to your town and state; and it keeps money flowing to your local schools, libraries, and other public services.
Actually, even without getting taxes involved, most small business owners are committing to giving back to their communities, all on their own.
According to the Small Business Index from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, nine in 10 small business owners “believe that businesses should give back to their local communities.” Eight in 10 believe that giving back to their local community is part of their business’s mission.
Keep an eye out for that philanthropy. It’s in more places than you think.
When I went to see a production of The Nutcracker at the Providence Performance Arts Center, I remember flipping through the program to the sponsors page. It was full of small businesses I recognized: a local pizza shop, my favorite local brewery, a crowd-pleasing Italian restaurant. All supporting art in the community.
Does Amazon support art in your community?
2. You build your community’s cultural identity
What’s the second good thing about keeping money in your local community?
It keeps it thriving, culturally.
I grew up in East Greenwich, Rhode Island, which has a lively Main Street full of restaurants, coffee shops, art galleries, and boutiques. But during tough times, some of those shopfronts become barren.
It’s always a sad sight to see. Less friendly chatter on the sidewalks. Fewer smiling faces walking down the street with takeout coffee in one hand a dog leash in the other.
That’s what happens when people order their books from Amazon instead of buying from local bookstores or when they auto-subscribe to coffee beans from Amazon instead of meeting their local barista once a week for a freshly ground bag.
And no surprise, a culturally vibrant place—not one dominated by big business—is where most people want to live.
Americans are willing to spend an extra $150 per month (and travel up to 30 minutes) to keep their local shops in business.
Nearly 75% say they appreciate their local shops more since the pandemic. SOURCE: Faire
Eight in 10 (82%) say small businesses positively impact peoples’ lives—only four in 10 people say the same about large businesses. SOURCE: Bentley University
3. You (usually) get better customer service
When you interact with a megacorporation, you are but one among thousands if not tens of thousands or even millions of customers. You are not special to them.
After all, just think back to the last interaction you had with customer service for a big-name store.
Were you even talking to a human? Or did they siphon off your concerns to an (unhelpful) AI chatbot? These days, it seems big business don’t even deign to speak to us.
When they do, they don’t make it easy. How many times have you wasted hours of your day waiting on hold, exchanging useless emails, and all but begging to get help from a compassionless corporate portal?
Compare that to communicating face to face with an actual person in a real-life shop.
I’ve been the customer of many small businesses where the owner or employee clearly went out of their way to help me. Not because they had a middle manager breathing down their neck or tracking software watching their every move.
But because they were one person talking to another. And once you strip away the chatbots and automated workflows and the never-ending customer service queues, we can remember that other people are generally nice.
That time the local barista did me a solid.
When I was a teenager, I always used to study in the local coffee shop.
One day, after settling in with my books and laptop, I approached the counter to order a coffee.
My peppermint mocha or whatever the hell teenage, pre-coffee-drinking Merry was into was already in my hand when it was time to ring up.
But my debit card didn’t work, and I didn’t have any cash.
I handed the cup back and awkwardly said, “Sorry, I can’t pay for this.”
But the barista just waved his hand and told me don’t worry about it, to keep the drink anway—and let me sit there for hours on the couch and study.*
Think that would happen in a chain store?
*When my mom arrived a few hours later to pick me up (this was pre-driving days), she handed me a $20 to put in the tip jar, along with my profuse gratitude.
Don’t forget to pay the good deeds forward.
4. You support skilled artisans instead of mass production
When you shop locally, you can more directly give your money to talented artisans—instead of trusting corporate structures to let it “trickle down” to the people doing the actual crafting.
That’s why I chose to commission a handmade trench coat from a local seamstress instead of buying one from a luxury brand:
Last year, I wanted to buy a trench coat. I was prepared to invest because I saw this as a forever item.
So intent was I on buying classic and quality, I even briefly considered splashing out on a Burberry trench coat that costs somewhere in the insane realm of $1,000.
But when I went to the store to try it on, I was underwhelmed with the fit and the fabric.
“I’m willing to spend on an investment, but only if it’s perfect and I love it,” I told a friend.
The Burberry trench coat, a major (and majorly expensive) name brand wasn’t cutting it.
“I know what I’ll do. I’ll ask the seamstress who made my wedding dress.”
The woman who made my wedding dress has a God-given talent. Not only did she make an absolutely divine dress off little more than a grainy picture I gave her, she didn’t even charge me for the fabric.
I had wanted an all-lace dress, which would normally double the price of the garment. But she had leftovers from a fancy gown she’d made for someone else, so she gave it to me for free.
Remember what I said about small businesses providing better customer service?
What she did with the trench coat was even more impressive.
All I did was show her a picture of a style I liked. Within a week, I had the coat in my hands.
It fit my body like a glove. It had the printed silk lining I chose. And it even included an inside breast pocket that I requested (because why don’t women’s clothes ever have this?).
Yes, it was expensive. (I paid her 600€, and I believe I spent about 150€ on fabric and notions.) But with her incredible talent, artistry, and craftsmanship, she deserved every penny.
And I would gladly give my money to a hardworking, skilled artisan over a global corporation any day.
5. You give money to working people instead of celebrities and billionaires
Jeff Bezos doesn’t need your help.
Nor do the Waltons (of Walmart). Nor does the Bettencourt Meyers family of (L’Oréal). Nor does Hailey Bieber or George Clooney or any of the Kardashians.
Perhaps the most important reason to support local businesses are the people at the receiving end of those purchases: the people in your community.
The artist mustering the courage to publicly display their work.
The restaurateur putting all their savings into their dream venture.
The coffee shop owner who commits to waking up at 5AM every day because they’re still a one-person show.
Wouldn’t you prefer to give them some of your hard-earned money? Instead of adding to the accounts of celebrities, millionaires, and billionaires?
How to discover local businesses near you
It might seem obvious, but since we’ve become so used to tuning into the algorithms and distant influencers for recommendations, it can actually be hard to find local shops near us, especially if they don’t have a huge online presence.
Here are a few fast ways to discover local businesses in your community:
1. Google Maps
Easy enough, right? Open your phone app and search for what you need: coffee shops, restaurants, bookstores, boutiques.
Of course, you can just do a basic Google search, but that’s usually going to pull in a lot of online stores with big Internet presences optimized for SEO—not what we’re going for here.
To discover local mom-and-pop restaurants and small-town boutiques without fancy websites, Google Maps can help you tune out the SEO noise and see what’s really going on close to home.
2. Instagram
This one’s a little bit tricky, a little bit more cluttered, and honestly, not my favorite. But if visuals are what stimulate and entice you, then head here to discover local businesses near you.
Simply open up search and type in the name of your town.
You’ll likely find some mildly entertaining but largely unhelpful Reels. But through that chaos you can sometimes find small town guides created by locals or travelers, highlighting the local businesses that don’t optimize for Google Search.
3. Local business directories
I like this because it’s less flashy and more to the point.
Most towns and cities maintain a public list of registered businesses—which you can use as your very own local shopping guide.
Just go to Google and type: “[insert town name here] business directory.”
Because my home state, Rhode Island, is so small, I made the search a little broader. Here’s some of what I found:
Voilà, easy-to-read, well-organized, no-fuss lists of the local businesses in your community.
4. Bulletin boards in local spaces
Trying to live a more analog life? One where you don’t turn to the Instagram and Google overlords for every decision you make in life?
Me too. I tire of the scrolling and algorithm gatekeeping, which is why I’m making a pointed effort lately to live life in the real world. And that includes shopping.
If you want to find local businesses in your community, then start by getting out in your community.
Head to a local coffee shop, town hall, library, or another public meeting place. More often than not these spaces have bulletin boards overflowing with business cards, flyers, and pamphlets for local events, classes, and businesses in your community.
While you’re in the building, don’t forget to smile at people, hold the door for strangers, and practice a few other basic pleasantries that make life nicer for all of us.
Looking for more ways to go analog?
With so much pressure to digitize and automate, it’s no longer always intuitive to live an analog life.
Of course, the best way to get in the know about your local community is to ask your local community.
The next time you head out for a coffee, you get your oil changed, or you mail something at the post office, ask the person behind the counter:
“I’m looking for a new restaurant to try this weekend? Anything good near here you can recommend?”
“I’m trying to wean off of Amazon Prime. Do you know any local bookstores in the area?”
“I want to pick up some flowers on the way home, but I don’t want to go to Stop & Shop. Is there a local florist near here?”
Unsurprisingly, people who live in your community will know more about it than Google does, which gets easily duped by strategically optimized websites and sponsored placements.
Plus, you’re actually interacting with a person, not an algorithm. And isn’t that the whole point?
Does it feel weird asking a perfect stranger such a question?
For some people, it really does. But it doesn’t have to be that way forever.
If you want to build your self-confidence, reduce social anxiety, and get more comfortable speaking up alone in public, we can work on it together.
When it feels easier to default to Amazon Prime or order online from Starbucks, remind yourself why it’s worth walking that extra block to the local bookstore or coffee shop.
Plus, two quotes to inspire you to keep working on your small business venture, even if it feels like an uphill battle against the big guys:
“Every purchase you make is a vote for the world you want to live in.”
"Giving a gift from a small business is giving a gift twice."
Speaker: Anonymous
"Don't be intimidated by what you don't know. That can be your greatest strength and ensure that you do things differently from everyone else."
Speaker: Sara Blakely, businesswoman and philanthropist (1971—)
"Dream big, start small, but most of all, start."
Speaker: Simon Sinek, author and inspirational speaker (1973—)
Conclusion: Supporting local businesses is an act of love, to yourself and your community.
Overconsumption is tiresome. Everywhere we look, we are being encouraged to buy, subscribe, upgrade.
In the fight against materialism, it often feels like we just can’t win.
Foregoing buying new goods altogether is too difficult if not impossible—and also, a little pointless. (Who says we can’t treat ourselves to something new once in a while?) But ordering everything from Amazon feels soul-sucking and sad.
Buying from local businesses, instead, feels nourishing.
We nourish working families in our town, instead of celebrity brands or billionaires. We nourish our communities, keeping the streets full with locally owned restaurants, flower shops, and bookstores. And we nourish ourselves, filling our homes with wares dreamed up and crafted by artisans.
We don’t have to buy everything from local businesses; that’s often not realistic. But shifting just a few purchases to locally owned stores makes a difference as we fight the good fight against mass production and megacorporations.
It’s one small, artful battle after another.
Next Steps:
Start small. Pick one category (like coffee or books) and start buying from a local business instead of a Starbucks or Amazon.
Spread the word. Try a new local restaurant that you love? Tell a friend or invite them to join you next time. Then, send them this blog post so they can get more ideas to support local businesses.
Track your purchases. Whipping out the credit card is so easy, it’s hard to keep track of where our money goes. Sit down, go through your bank statements, and review the last month’s purchases. Then, make a list: What did you order from Amazon? And what can you purchase from a small business moving forward instead?
Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.
How to Support Local Businesses (and Why): Common FAQs
Why is supporting local businesses important?
Supporting local businesses is important for two main reasons: it keeps money in your local community and it builds your community’s cultural identity. Shopping at local businesses also helps support local artisans and craftspeople, honoring people doing the real work instead of corporations churning out mass production.
Does Amazon support local businesses?
Not really. Some people argue that small business owners can expand their reach beyond their local community by promoting their products on Amazon—but they pay a pretty penny for doing so. A study from Marketplace Pulse revealed that Amazon takes more than 50% of sellers’ revenue due to an intricate web of fees, e.g., transaction, fulfillment, and advertising.
So even if you’re buying a small business on Amazon, you mostly end up supporting Amazon and its shareholders—not the small business.
What happens when you support local businesses?
When you shop local, you help working families in your community make a living; add money to your local economy; and you invest in the character and cultural identity of your community—because every purchase that stays local is a vote for the kind of world you want to live in.
How does supporting local businesses help the community?
It keeps money in your local community instead of sending it to celebrities’ or billionaires’ global brands. This way, your money can stay local, keeping your neighbors employed, your public services funded, and your culture thriving.
Merry
Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.
Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:
LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company
BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story
ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline
SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone
MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life
LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life
One Christmas alone doesn’t mean all Christmases will be alone. This year may be a quiet moment—that’s okay.
Spending Christmas alone is a lot more common than people realize.
A Mission for Michael (AMFM) conducted a survey in December 2025, combining the results with US census data to estimate how many people will spend Christmas alone this year: 16.3 million.
But spending the holidays alone isn’t just an American phenomenon.
A study by the Policy Institute at King’s College London found that one in nine people in the UK will spend Christmas alone this year—that’s double the number of solitary Christmas celebrations from 1969.
No, this isn’t just more fodder about the loneliness epidemic that everyone’s going on about. According to AMFM’s survey, 16% actually say they prefer to spend Christmas alone.
Unsurprisingly, however, they’re in the minority. Twenty-five percent say they feel lonely about spending Christmas alone; 22% say it makes them feel sad.
This is not a post to encourage you to spend the holidays alone (unless you want to). But against our own wishes, there are sometimes factors at play that prevent us from being with loved ones on the holidays.
Your friends and family may live far away, and the cost of travel just isn’t feasible this year. Maybe you have to work during Christmas and can’t make it to your family’s festivities. Or perhaps you moved to a new city alone or you’re otherwise going through a phase in your life where your social circle is small. It happens.
If you’re spending the holidays alone this year, know that this is not your fate. Life will continue, and you will celebrate with loved ones again.
In the meantime, though, you can still bring some holiday cheer to your own loner Christmas.
As I like to call it, here’s a guide to A Merry Loner’s Christmas:
How to spend Christmas alone: a plan for spending the holidays alone and enjoying it
How to cope with spending holidays alone? Know that this is not your forever fate. The tides will change, and you will be merry under the mistletoe again.
For this year, see the day as an opportunity to spend time with yourself and celebrate the forgotten joys of solitude.
1. Don’t treat it like a regular day
Because it isn’t. And just because you’re spending Christmas alone this year, it doesn’t mean you can’t make it feel special.
Actually, the more you sit around feeling glum and sorry for yourself, the worse you’ll feel.
Instead, think about your solo Christmas as a blissfully free day to spend entirely by yourself and for yourself doing what you please, when you please, how you please.
For all my people-pleasers out there, all this “me time” can often be quite challenging, especially if you’re used to deferring to others for weekend plans, restaurant reservations, and travel itineraries.
Try this: Forget it’s Christmas and all ideas of activities you’re “supposed” to do. If you had a free day off to do whatever you wanted, what would you do? Can you plan your solo Christmas Day around that?
If spending the holidays alone has got you feeling down…
Consider this your opportunity to learn how to enjoy your company. (I promise you, it’s worth the effort.)
As tempting as it may be, don’t spend the whole day in your pajamas. This is generally a good rule, even when you’re not at home alone for Christmas.
While it might seem cozy to spend the whole day snuggled up in your softest pants and sweaters, it’s not the best move for your mental health:
A study published in The Medical Journal of Australia showed that wearing pajamas during the day “was significantly associated with more frequent reporting of poorer mental health than non-p[a]jama wearers.”
This wasn’t part of the study, but I would also posit that dressing up in slightly fancier clothes will make you feel even better than just throwing on a casual tee shirt and jeans.
I refuse to believe it’s a coincidence that I feel better leaving the house when I’m wearing a fabulous pair of shoes and that I generally feel like crap if I spend the whole day in a sweatshirt with unbrushed hair (but that’s just me).
TLDR: This is your invitation to don your favorite Christmas sweater, your holiday party dress, your high heels, your suit, or your red lipstick—even if no one will see you and you never leave the house.
3. Stay off social media
Again, another good rule of thumb in life.
I don’t think I need to tell you that obsessively scrolling social media is probably the worst habit we’ve collectively picked up as a society. I won’t get into it all here, but Stanford Law School has compiled a systematic review summarizing the cataclysmic effects of social media on both our mental and physical health, including but not limited to:
Depression
Anxiety
Psychological distress
Suicide
Attention deficits
Increased aggression
Low self-esteem
Why bring any of this energy into your holiday (or any day, for that matter)?
Still, I know it’s easy to reach for the phone, especially when you’re spending the whole day alone and are looking for connection or at least entertainment.
There’s nothing wrong with dressing in your Christmas finery just to dance around your kitchen to Mariah Carey and eat gingerbread cookies. But for your physical health and your sanity, I strongly encourage you to leave the house at least once when you’re spending Christmas alone.
Depending on where you live, there might be some places open on Christmas, like coffee shops, movie theaters, or restaurants. These are all great options to get out of the house and see the world instead of holing up alone and wondering what to do on holidays alone.
But if you don’t have the courage to eat alone at a restaurant on Christmas day, simply heading out for a walk will work. In fact, it’s probably the best thing you can do for yourself:
Taking 1,000 steps per day could reduce depression by 10%, per a peer-reviewed medical journal published by the American Medical Association.
The rhythm of a walk produces a specific brainwave linked to improved mood, explains NewScientist.
Not supported by science, but I bet listening to Christmas music—or at least walking past a few decorated houses—during your walk ups the ante.
5. Treat yourself to a special meal
Either at a restaurant or at home.
I personally love taking myself out to dinner because I don’t really like cooking; instead of experimenting in the kitchen, I’d much rather spend a few hours luxuriating over something tasty, a wonderful book, and a glass(es) of wine.
But if this isn’t in your budget or comfort zone, a home-cooked meal can be equally luxurious. And I say, why not pull out all the stops? Like a three-course meal for one:
Appetizer: Soup or salad (or both)
Entrée: A sheet pan dinner is an easy, hands-free way to cook a full (delicious) meal without spending hours in the kitchen
Dessert: Ice cream, cake, or Christmas cookies
Does the idea of eating alone in a restaurant freak you out?
That’s okay, most people get nervous about this, too. And then they realize how freeing it feels.
The obvious choice is Christmas cookies (I’m partial to gingerbread), but you go with whatever your heart desires, whether that’s simple chocolate chip cookies, sourdough bread, or a three-layer cake with fresh cream.
In addition to gingerbread cookies, my family always keeps a Christmas tea bread on hand to have in the morning with coffee and tea while we wait for the whole house to wake up.
Even if you’re not a big baker (I’m not), I still encourage you to put yourself in the kitchen and challenge yourself. If you’re spending Christmas alone at home, it’s a quick, slippery slope to the poor-me blues, but one of the best ways to keep your mood up is to stay active and busy.
Remember the Spending Christmas Alone Protocol: Get dressed. Put on some Christmas music. And get moving.
The perfect match for your Christmas cookies? Say it with me: Christmas tea.
In my book, every day is an occasion for a tea party, but I’m particularly fond of the Christmas brews: cloves, cinnamon, orange peel, and nutmeg.
Before you start brewing, peruse this list of ethical tea companies to double-check the tea you buy doesn’t contribute to environmental desolation or capitalist exploitation.
7. Watch a Christmas movie (but don't spend the whole day in front of the screen)
I’m a sucker for a classic Christmas movie. Before streaming days, I used to make my own viewing schedule to make sure I caught all my favorites on cable before Christmas Day.
Instead of a full-on binge-fest in your pajamas, stick to one or two films max. (I’m partial to “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Elf,” or any of the old-school claymation movies like “The Year Without a Santa Claus” or “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town.”)
You’re not the only one spending holidays alone this year. Unfortunately, no matter the month or where we are in the world, there are always lonely people, sick people, hungry people.
So maybe this year, as you try to figure out how to celebrate holidays alone, you could dedicate a bit of your holiday time to those in need.
It’s not only an act of kindness for someone else; it’s an act of love for yourself, too. I find when I’m feeling lonely, depressed, or just down in the blues, doing something nice for someone else is the quickest way to turn my mood around.
HOW TO FIND OPPORTUNITIES TO VOLUNTEER ON CHRISTMAS:
Visit a nursing home in your area. My mom worked in the Alzheimer’s unit at a nursing home when I was growing up, so I was a regular visitor to those residents who didn’t have nearby friends or family.
An hour playing cards, drinking tea together, or just chatting is a low lift for you but could be the highlight of someone else’s day.
Volunteer with Salvation Army. They always need help at shelters and food drives—or you can ring the bell to help raise donations.
9. Write Christmas or New Year’s letters to mail to loved ones
Another do-good-feel-good activity to help you figure out how to spend holidays alone at home.
Is there anything more delightful than receiving an unexpected letter in the mail? With just a few minutes of your time and less than a dollar, you can create that special moment for someone else.
Plus, if you’re unable to travel for the holidays and are missing your loved ones, letter-writing can be a very intimate, thoughtful way to stay connected despite the distance. So get creative:
Buy store-bought Christmas postcards in advance.
Get crafty and decorate your own Christmas cards.
Plain, unadorned paper works too. (It’s the message that counts most).
Writing letters sends love to someone else—but it can also be an act of self care.
Lately, I’ve been spending more time getting crafty at home, like making my own candles and bath salts. And it feels damn good.
Concerts, movie theaters, restaurants, light displays—there are usually more places open on Christmas Day than you think.
If you’re solo this holiday season and looking for things to do on Christmas alone, it usually just takes a little research to find a holiday event near you:
Search on Facebook. Not the most glamorous option, but still one of the easiest ways to find events in your area.
Try looking on Meetup. This is really handy if you don’t have Facebook. I’ve even used this website while traveling to find events in new communities.
When I was growing up, my family went to church every Sunday; then just on holidays; now not at all.
Not everyone is religious. Some people are religious and don’t go to church. Some people aren’t religious but still go to church. In fact, one of the main reasons US adults go to church isn’t even to practice religion; it’s to find “comfort in times of trouble or sorrow,” per a survey by the Pew Research Center.
All options are fine.
But if you’re feeling lonely during the holidays, attending a Christmas mass could be an interesting option: There’s music; there’s community; there sure is that Christmas vibe.
(And remember: Simply attending an event, reading a book, or listening to something new doesn’t mean you endorse it or agree with it; you’re just exposing yourself to different ideas and seeing what’s out there. That’s healthy for the mind.)
How to spend the holidays alone (beyond just Christmas day)
Christmas may be one of the loudest and most celebrated holidays, but it’s not the only time people find themselves sitting alone while others celebrate.
Valentine’s Day is a particularly woeful occasion for those unattached. And New Year’s Eve brings a lot of pressure to kiss a certain someone at midnight.
Beyond the Christmas season, these strategies can help you learn how to enjoy holidays alone, all year round:
1. Start traditions for yourself
Shared traditions are beautiful—but secret, sacred traditions you honor just with yourself can carry special meaning, too. That might be:
Responding to the same journal prompt on the same day every year to see how you and your ideas grow.
Taking a picture of yourself in the same spot year after year to create a flipbook that captures your life.
Writing a letter to your future self and reading last year’s letter to think about where you’ve been and where you’re going.
2. Stay off social media
It’s always a good idea. Especially when we’re feeling lonely, left out, or otherwise a little vulnerable, flashing through other people’s highlight reels (which may or may not even be real) is almost guaranteed to make you feel worse.
Plus, why stare at other people’s lives when you can be living your own?
Whether you’re alone for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, or New Year’s Eve, keep your social media notifications on mute. Better yet, delete the apps altogether for a day of mental peace and quiet.
I know—quitting social media is really hard. But you don’t have to go cold turkey.
If you know a holiday is coming up and you’re going to be spending the day alone, don’t wallow. Plan for it like it’s an exciting vacation.
Do you want to travel? You don’t have to go far. Even just a solo day trip to a neighboring town gives you a change of scenery—and often, a mood shift.
If you’re not convinced about the benefits of solo travel, take inspiration from some of the greats. Read 21 quotes on traveling alone from writers, poets, teachers, and professional wanderers.
What about a cozy day of reading? Prepare your reading list now. If you want to feel accomplished, pick up one of theseshort books you can read in a day.
I created a 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to help you learn how to enjoy doing things alone—easy steps (and a nonjudgmental space) to help you build confidence, reduce social anxiety, and stop waiting on others to enjoy life.
How to get through the holidays alone if you're feeling lonely
Even the most independent, confident, and self-possessed of us probably don’t want to spend Christmas alone. I’m not advocating for a solitary holiday season—but sometimes, it happens and you need to make the most of it.
Use these six strategies to help make a lonely Christmas a little merrier:
1. Schedule at least one connection for yourself
Just because you’re alone for Christmas, it doesn’t mean you have to stay silent the whole day.
To avoid getting caught up in the lonely holiday blues, plan ahead to bake some social interaction into your day. That could be a:
Phone call with a friend: If you feel awkward about calling someone out of the blue and “interrupting” their Christmas, ask yourself—have you ever been annoyed that a friend wants to express their love and appreciation for you?
Of course not. Stop stressing, and spread the love.
Visit to a coffee shop: Maybe no one is free this year or different time zones aren’t syncing up. Friendly faces don’t have to be known faces.
A trip to a beloved or new coffee shop with a few kind smiles and holiday greetings exchanged with strangers can often remind us that the world can be a warm, friendly place—if we have the courage to go and face it.
Volunteering work: You’re not the only one spending Christmas alone. An estimated 16.3 million Americans (at least) are in the same boat—so why not congregate? Volunteering your time on Christmas gets you out into the world and rubbing shoulders with new faces.
2. Acknowledge your feelings—but don't let them take over
It’s okay to feel sad. It’s part of life, and there’s no point pretending everything is perfect every second of every day. So let it out—and then let it go.
Journaling, meditating, or just plain talking out loud to yourself can help you name the troubles within and keep them from swallowing you whole.
But don’t stay here too long; you don’t want your casual journaling session to turn into a daylong emotional spiral.
Try this: Acknowledge your feelings—and then recognize that the way you feel today isn’t the way you’ll feel forever.
If you think you’re starting to spiral, cut the rumination.
Turn on a Christmas movie. Go for a walk. Or find inspiration in someone else’s stories; these 6 books for existential dread can guide you.
3. Step into a crowd, even if you don't interact with anyone
Sometimes, just the physical presence of others makes us feel better—even if they’re strangers.
It reminds us that the world isn’t all about us; that other people are in similar or even worse situations; and that we do, in fact, have a lot to be thankful for, no matter how bleak the day seems.
To get out of your house (and your head) for a bit, try this:
Go for a walk downtown. Head for the most crowded place you can find.
Take yourself to a restaurant. Talk to the bartender. Smile at strangers. You’re not trying to make them your friends; you’re just engaging with the world and making it a warmer place.
See a movie. Even in a streaming world, movie theaters still see a lot of foot traffic on Christmas. You’re probably not going to talk to anyone, but you’ll be out in a crowd, rubbing shoulders with strangers, and maybe even laughing together at a few shared moments.
Does going to the movies alone (especially on Christmas) seem weird to you?
Let’s normalize not being scared of doing things alone.
If you’re trying to figure out how to handle the holidays alone, burning your eyes (and your soul) staring at romanticized versions of other people’s lives isn’t going to make you feel any better.
Stop that. Instead of numbingly consuming content, put down your phone and use your hands to create something. (I promise you’ll feel better.) You could:
Bake something
Play an instrument
Exercise
Play cards (Is it too on brand to say I actually love Solitaire?)
Make a collage
Knit
Paint (even if you’re bad at it)
Rearrange a shelf to make your space feel new
Feeling uninspired by these ideas? That’s no excuse to return to the phone.
If you don’t want to spend Christmas alone next year, see what’s in your power to change.
I’m not talking about overhauling your entire life or setting stressful goals for yourself. But a few deliberate steps now can shape an entirely different world for future you.
Can you save a little each month to travel and visit a loved one next Christmas? Even setting aside a small chunk of every paycheck can create a sizeable nest egg for next year’s celebrations.
Can you swap days off at work or request holiday time earlier so you’re not stuck working on Christmas? Put a reminder in your calendar now to talk to your manager and/or co-workers next fall.
Can you sign up in advance for volunteering, a retreat, or another solo-friendly experience? This way, you’re not scrambling at the last minute to come up with ideas. Mark a date in your calendar now to start booking plans next September.
Making and tracking goals is one of the best habits you can pick up.
Without conscious goals and check-in points, it’s easy to let time slip away—and then one day you wake up, take stock of your life, and realize you didn’t choose any of it.
Words have meaning. That includes the words we use to talk to ourselves.
Our thoughts and inner dialogue create our mood, our perspective, and the way we interact with the day. So pay attention to what you say to yourself—and how.
Instead of thinking, “I’m alone on Christmas. How pathetic. This is how it’s probably going to be forever,” try being a little gentler on yourself:
“I’m spending the day catering to no one’s needs but my own.”
“I really needed this time to slow down and relax a little bit.”
“This is a great chance to watch a favorite movie and read that book I haven’t had time to finish.”
“I’m going to plan ahead so I don’t have to spend Christmas alone next year. But for now, I’m going to enjoy a quiet day all to myself.”
We grow up being told we’re super lame if we don’t have a partner or lots of friends constantly at our side—but there’s no shame in doing things alone.
Actually, learning to enjoy your own company helps us build the confidence and inner peace to be better partners and friends.
You may be spending Christmas alone this year, but that doesn’t mean you need to coop up at home.
Especially if you’re feeling a bit down and are worried about how to get through holidays alone, a change of scenery can be a cure-all.
If you want to travel far...
Maybe you have the time and means to travel for Christmas. In that case, there’s no need to wait for an invitation to see the world.
So how about checking out those European Christmas markets you’ve heard so much about?
My personal favorites are in Paris and Wrocław, but there are dozens of options to choose from. The BBC has a new round-up on what they deem the best Christmas markets of 2025—or you can be a totally wild card and just pick one at random.
Psst! Not interested in Christmas markets, specifically? Paris is still always a good idea.
My 7-Day Solo Paris Itinerary is your cheatsheet on where to eat, walk, shop, and be in Paris, any time of the year.
If you want to stay close to home...
I think we as a society tend to forget that traveling doesn’t necessarily mean journeying to the other side of the world. There’s still plenty to explore close to home.
If you’re spending this Christmas alone and you want to make it memorable (in a fun way), why not plan yourself a little Christmas staycation?
Go to the spa. When in doubt, self-care your worries away.
Retreat to a cozy cabin. For quiet, un-bustling mornings, lots of hot chocolate, and nature to soothe the soul.
Spend the night in a fancy hotel. A giant bubble bath, room service, and a bed you don’t have to make. It’s not Christmas-y, but it is luxurious. (And that might be just what the doctor ordered.)
If you want to get out of town for Christmas but feel uneasy doing it alone, you’re not out of options. There are actually a lot of ways to solo travel without being alone.
Eatwithconnects you with locals for hosted meals, supper clubs, or cooking classes—like tasting wine and cheese with a Parisian or learning how to make pierogi from Poles. It’s an easy way to share a table and meet new people without putting the pressure on you to make plans.
GetYourGuidehelps you find guided tours, day trips, classes, and other activities—pretty much anywhere in the world. You may sign up alone, but you’ll spend the experience in a group setting so you can travel alone without feeling lonely.
Hostelworld makes it easy to find hostels that give loners the best of both worlds: private rooms AND common spaces and group activities. It’s a great option if you need your own space but still want help meeting new people.
Think traveling alone for Christmas seems… Sad? Lonely? A little depressing?
It can be if you’re not used to solo travel. But think about it—should you feel sad just being with yourself? Or is that a sign you need to learn how to enjoy your own company?
Conclusion: Spending the holidays alone doesn't have to feel lonely
Spending Christmas alone can feel disappointing or just strange. Almost all the carols sing to us about joining with loved ones, celebrating family time, or meeting a certain someone under the mistletoe.
Some years, that’s just not the reality. It’s okay. Being alone for Christmas this year has no bearing on the next year, the next holiday, or the rest of your life.
You will be among friends and family again—and no, despite what the little voice sometimes whispers in the back of your head, you won’t be alone forever.
In the meantime, take advantage of this Merry Loner Christmas to look after yourself—because self compassion is the best gift you can give yourself, any time of year.
Next Steps:
Practice doing things alone before the next holiday rolls around. This way, you’ll be ready to go out and face the day alone, come New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge to learn how to own the power of being alone.
Arm yourself to stay away from social media. I know the scroll is tempting, especially when we’re alone. But ask yourself: Does scrolling ever really make you feel better? Instead, try one of these 30+ ideas of what to do instead of social media.
Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.
How to Spend Xmas Alone: FAQs
Is it OK to spend Xmas alone?
Of course. Spending Christmas alone doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
Sometimes, meeting with family and friends just isn’t logistically possible. Other times, we may be going through a season in life where our friendship circle is feeling a little thin, like if you just moved somewhere alone or ended a relationship. That’s okay.
One Christmas alone doesn’t mean all Christmases will be alone. So this year, instead of lamenting how to get through the holidays alone, just take the time to focus on yourself and learn how to enjoy your own company.
What to do if you’re spending Christmas alone?
Don’t treat it like a regular day—because it isn’t! Get dressed (up); leave the house at least once; treat yourself to a special meal; and plan at least one festive activity to celebrate the day, like going for a walk to see the Christmas lights, attending a local event, or volunteering.
If venturing out alone on Christmas makes you feel a little depressed or awkward, don’t let yourself stay in that energy. Start A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge now to help you build confidence doing things alone.
Where to spend Christmas alone?
Anywhere, really. If you want to cozy up at home, how about a change of scenery? Book a day at a nearby spa, cabin retreat, or hotel to enjoy some pampering and a little escape.
But nobody says you have to spend Christmas alone at home. You could travel across the world for your dream vacation (a Paris solo trip, perhaps?). If you have solo travel anxiety, know you’ve got options, like hostels or guided trips, that help you travel alone without feeling alone.
What to do for someone spending Christmas alone?
By all means, invite them over! If that’s not logistically possible, you can still lend a little bit of emotional support to help them get through the holidays alone.
Call them—not just for a quick, two-minute hello, but for an actual conversation. Just 20 minutes could turn their whole day around.
If you know in advance that someone is spending the holidays alone, consider sending them a gift they can open on Christmas Day. Something small is still something significant, like a box of cookies or a handwritten card.
Is it wrong to want to spend Christmas alone?
If spending Christmas alone is the peace and quiet you need this year, don’t let anyone else judge you—it’s actually more common than you think. According to a December 2025 survey by A Mission for Michael, 16% of respondents say they prefer to spend Christmas alone.
And when you’re alone on Christmas, why not make it a full-on self-care day? Check out my Ultimate Guide to Self-Care for ideas to make a day home alone whimsical and relaxing.
How many people spend Xmas alone?
A lot more people than you think. This year, an estimated 16.3 million Americans will spend Christmas alone, per survey from A Mission for Michael. In the UK, a study by the Policy Institute at King’s College London says one in nine people will be alone for Christmas—a figure that’s doubled since 1969.
If you’re going to be on your own for Christmas this year, I know it’s not always ideal, but try to see this as an opportunity to rest and relax. If you want a hot (hot!) take on learning to enjoy life, read my motto.
Merry
Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.
Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:
LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company
BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story
ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline
SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone
MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life
LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life
In general, I’m pretty anti short-form video and the fact that information is becoming more and more condensed into visually-stimulating, “aesthetically-pleasing” 30-second sound bytes.
Give me words. Give me chapters. Give me delicious sentences to underline and real paper pages to dog-ear.
Naturally, books are a big part of that. Even when I feel like I have no time.
If you’re short on time this week but still want to enrich your precious downtime instead of losing it to a doomscrolling spiral, try this: 9 good books you can read in a day.
Reading the classics can feel like a daunting, arduous task. Crime and Punishment, for example, (the much-celebrated, 19th-century Russian novel that I’ve yet to read) is over 600 pages, which for most of us, puts it well out of bounds of a casual beach read.
But there are other, lighter ways to get into reading classic literature. I like these two:
I devoured this one over the course of a few metro rides last summer in Paris—a fitting landscape for the French writer’s existential classic. At only 144 pages, The Stranger is a short and snappy read that will make even non-bibliophiles fly through it.
The scene is an Algerian beach, where an unsuspecting man finds himself witness to a murder and is quickly drawn into the subsequent moral and legal fallout. Ranking number one on Le Monde’s 100 Books of the Century list, The Stranger will make you well read on both continents.
About the author: Albert Camus (1913—1960) was a French philosopher, journalist, novelist, and recipient of the 1957 Nobel Prize in Literature (the second-youngest recipient in history, in fact). In addition to his renowned The Stranger, he also wrote the novels The Fall and The Plague, as well as many short stories, plays, and essays.
This was a gift from a friend and a wonderful introduction for me into Polish literature.
Written by Stanisław Lem, whom writer and critic Theodore Sturgeon supposedly heralded as the “most widely read science fiction author in the world,” Solaris is probably Lem’s most famous novel. It has been adapted for the screen many times, most prominently by the Soviet Union in 1968 and 1972 and again by the USA in 2002, starring a certain George Clooney and Natascha McElhone. (How did this go under my radar?)
I see the appeal. Solaris has one of the more intriguing concepts I’ve seen explored in science fiction: Aboard the Solaris Station for scientific research, psychologist Kris Kelvin faces a physical simulacra of his dead wife, chillingly reconstructed from his repressed memories.
Of note: The English translation that’s been in print since 1971 was not directly translated from Polish but, rather, translated from Jean-Michel Jasiensko’s 1964 French translation. Lem has, on the record, stated his disappointment with the subsequent English translation, considering it unfaithful to his writing.
In 2011, Bill Johnston completed a direct Polish-to-English translation, which Lem’s family praised as having “captured the spirit of the original.” Unfortunately, this edition was only released in print in a limited run of 400 copies in 2024. Today, it is only available as an ebook.
Why am I pointing this out?
There’s a gross imbalance between literature that is translated from English to other languages and literature that is translated from other langauges to English.
Feast your eyes on these astounding statistics:
According to the UNESCO Index Translationum, from 1979 to 2019, 1.27 million works were translated from English to another language. But the other direction (i.e., any other language translated to English), only counts 164,000 works.
To say this is a bummer is an understatement.
I’m currently working on a longer piece detailing the dominance of English literature, along with tips on how to find translated works to expand your reading list beyond the Anglo-Saxon publishing industry.
About the author: Stanisław Lem (1921—2006) was a Polish writer of novels, short stories, and essays that explore science fiction, philosophy, satire, and futurology. He’s particularly recognized for his ideas on intelligence, both human and artificial, and the limits of their abilities to interact with each other.
Available at Bookshop.org(paperback, Polish-French-English translation)
Available at Amazon (ebook, Polish-English translation) Note: This is the first and last time I will link to Amazon, as I do not condone Amazon’s deplorable treatment of their workers and thus do not buy from them or otherwise support them financially. If you, too, want to stop buying books from Amazon, I encourage you to check out these 5 Alternatives to Amazon for Books.
If you have more than one day to read…
There are obviously many more classic novels worth poking your nose into, but they’re not all short enough to be read in a day. Still, they are accessible, relatable, and fun.
I’m frequently extolling the benefits of reading classic literature, but that doesn’t mean I’m always hankering for an old-fashioned novel. For something a little more of the times, I like these two short novels:
Written entirely in Post-It messages stuck to the refrigerator, the aptly named Life on the Refrigerator door is a heartfelt story exploring the mother-daughter relationship.
Between single motherhood and the all-consuming torment that is adolescence, this mother and daughter rarely find time to physically be together; nonetheless, their daily written exchanges, however brief, keep them deeply connected—all the more so as they navigate a family tragedy together.
Powerful, uplifting, and highly relatable, this may even be a nice book to read with a family member.
About the author: Alice Kuipers (1979—) is a British novelist who has won the Grand Prix de Viarmes, the Livrentête Prize, the Redbridge Teenage Book Award, and the Saskatchewan First Book Award and has seen her Life on the Refrigerator Door adapted for the stage in England, France, and Japan. She writes young adult and children’s books.
Few books make me cry, but this one made the list—and I don’t think I’m the only one. The 160-page romance chronicles the love story of a Harvard jock and a working-class music student.
That’s all I’ll say about the plot, but even better: This book has a trivia-rich backstory:
Love Story was originally written as a screenplay and unceremoniously rejected by many Hollywood studios. Ali MacGraw, an actress, friend of the author, and at-the-time wife of Paramount executive vice president Robert Evans, apparently convinced her husband to greenlight the film. MacGraw would play the leading lady.
To promote what was expected to be a lackluster film, Paramount supposedly requested Segal transform the screenplay into a novel for promotional purposes, to be serialized in Ladies Home Journal and released in a few-thousand-copies run on Valentine’s Day. (Valentine’s Day to promote a romance novel? Groundbreaking.)
Unexpectedly, the novel became a best-seller, topping The New York Times Best Seller list and has since been translated into 30+ languages.
Though many literary critics were not fans. Upon its nomination for a National Book Award, one judge famously deemed it “banal,” saying “it…simply doesn’t qualify as literature.”
About the author: Erich Segal, Ph.D. (1937—2010) was an American screenwriter, author, and professor. Beyond writing over a dozen novels and screenplays, he was also a classics scholar, teaching at Yale, Harvard, Princeton, and Dartmouth.
I’m a bit of a wellness freak (though I’m not that into the world, “wellness”). I exercise almost daily. I rarely eat processed food. And I’m a frequent meditator. I also consume mushrooms, lots of mushrooms.
I’ll be brief here, but functional or medicinal mushrooms, per the International Journey of Molecular Sciences, “have important health benefits and exhibit a broad spectrum of pharmacological activities, including:
Antiallergic
Antibacterial
Antifungal
Anti-inflammatory
Antioxidative
Antiviral
Cytotoxic
Immunomodulating
Antidepressive
Antihyperlipidemic
Antidiabetic
Digestive
Hepatoprotective
Neuroprotective
Nephroprotective
Osteoprotective
And hypotensive activities.”
Some functional mushrooms are also adaptogens or as Dr. Dana Ellis Hunnes, UCLA Fielding School of Public Health assistant professor of community health sciences and senior dietitian at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, defines them:
“herbs, roots and other plant substances (like mushrooms) that help our bodies manage stress and restore balance after a stressful situation.”
TLDR: Mushrooms have very powerful health benefits that are finally starting to garner attention from Western medicine—and this book gives you a crash course in a light, easy-to-read book.
About the author: Tero Isokauppila is the founder of the Finnish-American functional foods company, Four Sigmatic, which (full disclosure) does sell adaptogenic mushrooms. (I’m a fan.) His book, however, is highly informative and educational. He has a degree in chemistry and a certificate in plant-based nutrition from Cornell University. He has also authored a companion book, Healing Mushrooms.
This book did take me more than a single day to read, as it was one I carried around in my bag and puzzled over for a while—but I could have.
At 144 pages, Become What You Are is a delightfully thought-provoking, inspiring little book that can be consumed in a single afternoon, though you’ll likely want to keep the evening free for the musings, self-introspection, and general philosophizing that are sure to follow. It gives a glimpse into various religious philosophies on how to discover your true self: a question we’ve all asked ourselves at one time or another but whose answer is often elusive if not ephemeral.
About the author: Alan Watts (1915—1973) was a British and American writer and speaker who popularized and interpreted Eastern philosophies for a Western audience. In addition to his 25+ books and essays on Buddhist, Taoist, and Hindu philosophy, Watts gained a significant following through his radio broadcasts, which are still circulated today.
Memoirs and biographies are some of my favorite types of books. As a long-time journal-er, I appreciate the dedication and insight it takes to attempt to articulate the chaos within—and the courage to bear it publicly.
From household names to emerging voices, these short memoirs are worth taking the afternoon off:
There have been countless books, essays, documentaries, memes, and other think pieces written about the life of Marilyn Monroe.
Tragic. Beautiful. Famous. Blonde. Married thrice. Institutionalized once. Medicated often. The superficial details of Monroe’s life provide easy material to romanticize and sensationalize. But what would she say?
My Story is, for once, the woman’s own words. Written throughout her life but published posthumously, this unfinished memoir touches on her childhood, her career, and her highly publicized marriage to Joe DiMaggio. If you’re curious what lies beneath all the pop culture hullabaloo and want to get straight to the source, this is it.
About the author: Marilyn Monroe (1953—1962) needs little introduction. Born Norma Jeane Mortenson, the American star was a top-billed actress, famous sex symbol, and an enduring cultural icon. She was also an intelligent, compassionate person who, despite the ongoing speculations, the public will never truly know.
A few years ago, I surprised myself by falling into an enormous Marily Monroe reading rabbit hole. I was never that intrigued by the famed starlet (I was more of an Audrey Hepburn fan) but quickly became mesmerized by her so widely dispersed yet so little understood story.
These books, in particular, were well researched and illuminating:
I found this book on a friend’s bookshelf while visiting her in Washington, D.C. for the weekend and spent a rainy afternoon sitting on her couch reading it from cover to cover.
In this memoir, Albom recounts his weekly visits with his former sociology professor who is dying from ALS. I believe it’s been made into a film and adapted for the screen several times, but (as always) I recommend reading the book first.
It’s one of those heartwarming, feel-good books that IMHO is best enjoyed with a delightful beverage, i.e., tea. If you’re not yet a tea drinker but want to be, you can find a cup to suit your palette in my enormous guide on How to Start Drinking Tea: The Best Tea for Non Tea Drinkers.
About the author: Mitch Albom (1958—) is an American writer, journalist, and radio host, best known for his books about life, loss, and meaning. Altogether, his works have sold 42+ million copies and have been translated into 48 languages. He currently writes a lifestyle column for the Detroit Free Press and a sports column, syndicated by Tribune Content Agency. He also hosts two radio programs.
Sometimes, only poetry will do. If you want to spend the afternoon with some light reading that will inspire, uplift, and take you on a journey to get in touch with those deep-down feelings you have that you’ve always struggled to articulate, then Joy Sullivan is your ideal partner in crime.
I devoured this book of poems over two days, on both occasions luxuriating in the bath with candles and, you guessed it: tea. Both times, I emerged feeling understood, reassured, and certain that any wild ideas I have are well worth pursuing.
I’ve since gifted my copy to a friend, and I wish to do the same to you.
About the author: Joy Sullivan (unknown) is a poet and educator. She was the poet-in-residence for the Wexner Center for the Arts and has guest-lectured at Stanford, Florida State University, and other institutions. She now leads writing workshops and writes the newsletter, Necessary Salt.
If the state of the world has you feeling troubled lately, I hope these will help you or at least offer a few hours of respite.
Ready to read?
Don't procrastinate—grab a book you can read today:
The best book to read in a day, depending on your mood
“Best” is, of course, subjective. But I’ve spent a long time creating a curated guide to help you find a short book to read in an afternoon that accurately matches your mood:
Best books to read in a day — based on your mood
What’s the best book to read in a day… Based on your mood
Conclusion: Books you can read in one sitting are always worth "wasting" the day
There’s something delicious about spending the entire afternoon reading, especially when there’s something else you really “should” be doing. But in the grand scheme of things, is there any better way to spend your time than bettering your mind?
If so, I’ve yet to discover it.
Next Steps:
Pick one book from this list and buy it now so you’re ready for your reading day. Or head over to your local library and grab a copy for free.
Set aside a full afternoon (or morning or evening). Book a spot at your favorite restaurant. Plan to head to your coziest cafe. Or just nestle at home with a freshly brewed cup.
Put the kettle on. Because what goes better with a brand-new book than a steaming pot of tea? Before you brew, I encourage you to consider one of these 6 Ethical Tea Companies from which to source your leaves. (Big Tea is a thing, and it’s gnarly.)
Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.
Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.
Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:
LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company
BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story
ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline
SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone
MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life
LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life
Because life after social media is lighter, richer, and just more enjoyable
It’s not easy to put down the phone. For many of us, it has almost become an extension of ourselves. Some people even carry it on a chain around their neck or attach a micro version to their wrists. Most of us can’t leave the house without it—and our heart stops when we think we’ve misplaced it.
It’s not our fault. The phone is shiny, expensive, alluring. And companies are literally spending millions of dollars to keep us hooked. You know which ones: social media companies.
Facebook. Instagram. Snapchat. Dare I say, TikTok. The bad boys patrolling the Internet, luring you in with funny memes and clickbait—and then making off with your time, money, and in many cases, self-esteem.
It wasn’t always like this. When many of us created our first social media accounts, we were doing it to stay in touch with friends and share family photos, i.e., connect with others.
Now, most of that connection is lost. Most days, our algorithm feeds us rage-bait that spikes our blood pressure and makes that pit in our stomach grow tenfold. (You know, that old friend, existential dread.) On top of that, it pushes unrealistic and unattainable standards for beauty, wealth, and everything in between that leave us doubting ourselves, at best, and hating ourselves, at worst.
And of course, advertisements. Everywhere, all the time, popping up and flashing with all sorts of different sounds. Because even though it’s never worked before, maybe buying this one very specific next thing will bring us that unattainable happiness we’ve long strived for.
Sound familiar?
As depressing and hopeless as it can feel sometimes to live an increasingly digital world, we do have a choice: We can disconnect. We can stop using social media.
I don’t mean forever. I still use Facebook Messenger to talk to my friends. I share my writing on Instagram and Pinterest. I like logging into Facebook every few months and seeing my old co-workers share updates about traveling or getting married or having kids.
But we can choose to use social media in a way that serves us, instead of letting it abuse us. I’ll show you how—or at least what’s worked for me.
How to quit social media (without deleting your accounts): 5 strategies
Often, people are hesitant to even attempt quitting social media because they don’t want to give it up cold turkey. That’s fair. But you can still get the benefits of quitting social media by just scaling back a little bit.
It may seem difficult at first, but once you get the ball rolling, cutting social media out of your life gets easier and easier. That’s because habits are hard to break. But if you can reorganize your day so you have less soul-sucking options within reach the next time you get the urge to scroll, then you can slowly replace your social media habit with much healthier, more productive, and more enjoyable activities.
Wait, why are habits so hard to break?
Dopamine levels spike when an action gets “rewarded,” e.g., like seeing a funny meme after scrolling through your feed for 20 minutes.
Once an action becomes a habit, simply initiating the action gives us a dopamine hit, even if there’s no reward, i.e., you still get a dopamine hit when you scroll your phone, even if you don’t see anything funny or useful.
These are five strategies I found helpful to get rid of social media’s outsized presence in my life:
1. Put your phone in the other room as often as you can
When something is too tempting, get rid of the temptation altogether.
Of course, this tip isn’t practical all the time, especially when you’re on the go. But when you’re at home it’s totally doable and a really easy way to rid yourself of the lure of the phone.
But just putting your phone in another room isn’t enough. Because we have legs. And when our willpower is weak and we let the bad thoughts win, it’s too easy to allow ourselves a quick moment to “just check in” when we’re passing by.
So set a timer. I like to use intervals of 45 minutes. I put my phone in the other room and set a timer for 45 minutes. When the buzzer sounds, I’m allowed to check my phone and see if any interesting notifications popped up while I was away.
In most cases, however, I’ve usually become engrossed in another activity in those 45 minutes and no longer feel the pull to see what strangers on the Internet are doing.
How to fill the time without social media?
The possibilities are literally limitless, which means it can sometimes be hard to think of them.
2. Delete social media apps from your phone—but not your account
This is how I kicked my habit of needlessly scrolling Instagram and Twitter (and even LinkedIn).
I never considered LinkedIn a social media app; I just had it because of work. But once I deleted Instagram and Twitter from my phone, the demon inside me needed something else to scroll, and LinkedIn fit the bill.
I had made one of the classic mistakes of trying (and thus failing) to break bad habits: I never replaced the bad habit with a good one. Sure, I had eliminated Instagram from my life, but I hadn’t developed a substitute to fill on-the-go scrolling time. Unbeknownst to me, LinkedIn was waiting in the wings to fill its place.
The “professional” social media app has since been banned from my phone, along with all other apps even remotely capable of scratching the scrolling itch. Since then, my screen time has shrunk dramatically; I now average only about 1.5 hours on my phone per day.
Without social media apps on my phone, clever little me soon found a solution: the computer.
Though I’d never done it before, Instagram and Twitter became frequent mainstays on my laptop screen. Here, the temptation was even worse. While staring at my screen all day long during work hours, it was far too tempting (and easy) to open a new tab and dive headfirst into the bowels of Instagram and Twitter content—just to give myself a “5-minute scroll break” after completing an hour or so of deep work.
This bad habit plagued me for several months, until I realized that I hadn’t stopped using social media any less. I had simply switched devices.
Thus, up went the website blocker. (I like LeechBlock.) You can configure these website blockers to work on a timer, barring access to a certain site and then letting you through after a certain time frame has passed (e.g., one hour) or time of day has arrived (e.g., 6:00 pm).
For me, this wasn’t enough. (Though for you, it might be.) I wanted to kick my social media habit altogether, so I completely banned Instagram and Twitter from my laptop. I allow myself to check in occasionally, but to do that, I have to type in a master password—and face my shame.
This was really the nail in my social media coffin. When I tried to go to the Instagram page, I was faced with a white screen with the message I wrote to myself: “Live your life.” This gave me an equal mix of inspiration and shame, pushing me to close the tab—and scarcely return.
4. Use a phone brick
Another option to stop using social media without deleting it, but not one I’ve tried myself. Honestly, I feel like this is a bit of a Band-Aid solution. Instead of buying something to curb my social media habit, I’d rather work on retraining my brain to not desire the scroll at all.
That said, I know some people who have tried the phone brick trick, and it’s helped them use social media less. So by all means… Here’s how it works:
In the app, choose which apps you want to “brick,” i.e., Instagram, Facebook, TikTok.
When you’re ready to leave the house, start work, or relax for the evening, tap your phone to the Brick device to “brick” it. This means those “bricked” apps will be completely inaccessible until you “un-brick” your phone.
When you’re ready to come back online, tap your phone to the Brick again to “un-brick” it.
Unlike analog methods, the brick doesn’t rely on willpower alone (which, let’s face it, is stronger some days than others). If you’re tried other methods to stop using social media but nothing seems to be helping, a phone brick may be the extra kick in the pants you need to stop the Instagram scroll.
5. Replace the urge to scroll with something else
If you want to figure out how to quit a social media addiction, you can’t simply eliminate social media from your life. You need to find alternatives to fill that space.
There’s a lot you can do. I wrote an entire blog post giving you options on What To Do Instead of Social Media, including ideas to replace social media:
When you wake up
When you eat
During your commute
At night
When you have just a few minutes to fill
When you need to zone out
And many, many other scenarios we modern-day humans find ourselves in.
Of course, there are near infinite ways to fill your free time, but social media fills a particularly niche space of time. Usually, we tend to scroll when we’re waiting for things—when we have just a few minutes here or there—so regular hobbies like exercising or drawing won’t always work.
The trick is finding social media replacements that replace your urge to scroll and that you can do anytime, anywhere.
Productive apps instead of social media
That’s why I like thumbing through these productive apps instead of social media. Sure, they keep you on your phone—but if you really feel the need to stare at your device while waiting in line at the grocery store, these are much better alternatives to TikTok:
Duolingo: Are you going to become fluent in a new language simply by using Duolingo? Of course not. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a useful tool. I’ve personally learned how to order coffees, ask for directions, and even communicate with some security guards when I got lost and accidentally trespassed in Kraków. Even if it’s not perfect, 10 minutes spent learning some new foreign language vocabulary is always better than 10 minutes of TikTok brain rot.
Wikipedia: Did you know Wikipedia has an app? It makes getting lost in Wikipedia rabbit holes even more fun. And even if you don’t have time for an entire reading spiral, it’s pretty entertaining to open the app and browse the most-read articles that day, daily historical events, and other trivia tidbits. (Again, always better than brain rot.)
Calm: This is probably my most-used app—and the only app I’ve ever paid for. I won’t extol the benefits of meditation here, but I highly encourage you to give it a whirl if you’ve never tried before. For a free option, the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs offers the Mindfulness Coach App (free for everyone, even if you’re not a veteran) with different mindfulness exercises you can use to replace some scrolling time.
eBooks: I know reading isn’t exactly the same as scrolling, but it is infinitely better for you. If you’re not already a bookworm, remember this trick: You don’t have to read serious, high-brow books to be a reader. Science fiction, fantasy, romance novels—it all works. As I always say: “Ten minutes spent reading a crappy novel is always better than 10 minutes spent watching TikToks.”
Learn Geography: ICYMI, the theme here is taking scrolling time and making it productive. With this app, you still get a few minutes of playing on your phone—but instead of scrolling past advertisements or getting riled up about the state of politics, you can learn something new about the world. Isn’t that always nice?
Substitutes for social media
It’s hard to break a bad habit if you don’t have anything to replace it with. And I get it—even if you dramatically scale back on your social media use, you still want ways to connect with your friends, unwind after a long day, entertain yourself and stay up to date with what’s going on in the world.
But you don’t need social media to do those things. Try these replacements for social media instead:
If you use social media to connect with others...
Try voice memos or phone calls. I know phone calls seem scary nowadays, but as social isolation and loneliness tighten their grip on societies around the world, we need to make more effort to stay connected with each other. If calling a friend out of the blue still feels weird to you, start with voice memos. Ask if you can schedule a weekly catch-up call. And if you really don’t know where to start, call your grandma. She’ll love it.
Write a letter or an email. Ditto with the long-form correspondence. Yes, text messages are quick and convenient, but a short “How are you?” SMS (no matter how heartfelt) is no replacement for an actually substantive exchange. If it’s too hard to schedule phone time with long-distance friends or family, how about becoming pen pals? Emails are a fun 2000s throwback, but if it feels too office-y for you, why not get into letter writing? Just a few lines will do—and who doesn’t love getting a postcard in the mail?
Share photos in group chats. “But what about my vacation pictures?” I know. The universe will cease to exist if everyone can’t see your beach selfies from Greece. I get it: People want to share their lives with their loved ones, but when did the whole world suddenly become part of the conversation? Instead of blasting to Instagram, how about sharing photos in a group chat? The connection is still there, and Zuckerberg has no place in it.
If you use social media to relax...
Use a meditation app for a quick fix. After a long day or an intense session of socializing, it can feel good to veg out and empty your mind with a little social media scrolling. But does it really make you feel relaxed afterward? Or does it give you FOMO, stress, or anxiety. Next time, try replacing 10 minutes of Instagram with a 10-minute guided meditation. That’s actual stress relief.
Keep a coloring book handy. Coloring isn’t just for the kiddos. A study published in Animal Models and Experimental Medicine looked at coloring as a supplement to conventional drug therapy and physical therapy and found coloring therapy “can not only reduce depression and negative emotions but also have better effects on reducing anxiety and improving positive emotions than conventional therapy.” Can doom-scrolling do that? (It can’t.)
Start listening to audiobooks. At the end of a long, tiring day, I know reading isn’t always a favorite way to unwind. Especially if you spent the whole day looking at the screen, it’s nice to give your eyes a bit of a break. That’s why I’ve been getting audiobooks lately: hands-free reading that nourishes your mind instead of dulling it.
If you use social media for entertainment...
Watch a show or a movie—without multi-tasking. According to mntn research, “83% of American TV watchers use a second device while watching TV.” Seriously? We can’t even just watch TV now? We’re that addicted to scrolling? Next time you want to unwind with a TV show, actually let your mind unwind. Put down the second screen. Stop trying to multi-task. And let your brain find some kind of stillness. The show is entertaining enough.
Play a card game. I’m partial to solitaire—a lot, actually. I find it incredibly relaxing. It keeps your hands busy. It’s methodical. And it uses just enough brain power to keep you engaged so you can quiet your mind and stop yourself from overthinking about everything that happened that day. I also love solitaire for a quick, 5-minute break away from the screen in the middle of the workday.
Read something light. I’m a classic novel fiend as much as the next person, but I’ll be honest: I don’t necessarily want to curl up with Crime & Punishment at the end of a long day when my eyes are already tired. That doesn’t mean no reading has to take place—and there’s no shame in turning to a good beach read. A light book I devoured recently? Cleopatra & Frankenstein by Coco Mellors.
If you use social media for the news...
Subscribe to a few vetted email newsletters. This way, you get what you need without unnecessary advertisements or the algorithm distracting you with flashing promotions or annoying videos. Morning Brew is a great standby for the quick highlights. And I’ve been a long-time lover and subscriber of The Economist since college.
Ditch the scroll and read directly in news apps. I actually prefer this to newsletters. Once you start subscribing to a lot of newsletters, they can clog up your inbox fast—and that just adds a whole new layer of stress to my daily life. I don’t want that. But with a news app, I can pop in when I feel like reading. Any other time of day, the news is out of sight, out of mind.
Buy physical magazines or newspapers. My holy grail—and one of my favorite ways to make life more analog. No videos randomly playing in the background. No screen burning your eyes. No slop pushed in from the algorithm. It’s a much more relaxing way to stay informed, and one of the best ways to support quality media outlets and journalists.
Why is it so hard to stop using social media?
If you’ve tried getting rid of social media before and always failed, don’t be too hard on yourself. There are literally teams of people and hundreds of millions of dollars at work trying to keep you hooked. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
By better understanding your reliance and/or addiction to social media, it’s easier to come up with strategies to beat the bad habit.
These are a few likely reasons you may keep coming back to the monsters:
1. It's designed to be addictive
“Behind every screen on your phone, there are generally like literally a thousand engineers that have worked on this thing to try to make it maximally addicting,” former Mozilla and Jawbone employee Aza Raskin told the BBC back in 2018.
While this article condemning social media companies for “deliberately addicting users to their products” was written eight years ago, I think it’s safe to say things have gotten even worse since then, especially with AI new on the scene.
A 2025 review article published in Cureus explores social media algorithms’ addictive nature and its neurophysiological effect on teenagers’ brains, noting “AI-driven social media algorithms are designed to solely capture our attention for profit…”
Basically, if you feel like you can’t get away from the screen, no matter how hard you try, it’s not your fault. Giving up social media is really difficult on purpose, so if you find yourself slipping back on your goals, go easy on yourself.
And then get back at it and try again.
Do you want to learn more about how the tech overlords keep us addicted to social media?
The Digital 2026 Global Overview Report from We Are Social gives us the latest numbers: 5.66 billion people use social media. That’s a sobering number. Out of the 8.2 billion people on the planet, something like 70% of them have social media accounts.
Understandably, getting off social media can feel like stepping away from our social network—and nobody wants to feel left out. But we all had friends before we created our first Facebook accounts. Actually, we had more. In a survey from the Survey Center on American Life, 49% of Americans say they now have three or fewer close friends. That’s up from only 27% in 1990.
You don’t need social media to stay connected with your friends, though it may seem like the default these days. Instead, you can:
Send text messages
Talk on the phone
Become email pen pals
Exchange letters
Record voice memos
All a lot more personal and heartfelt than any “like” or (God forbid) AI-written comment.
3. We don't let ourselves get bored anymore
When there’s an empty moment, anywhere, we can immediately fill it with image and sound because we almost always have access to a phone and thus anything our little hearts desire.
Often, it seems that desire is to scroll through Reels, advertisements, and overly romanticized, highly edited “inside looks” at other people’s lives. This shouldn’t be as normal as it is, and it’s a shame we’ve reached this point because, believe it or not, boredom is where the magic happens.
Boredom is where you let yourself ponder, think the big thoughts, and come up with new ideas.
Liraz Margalit Ph.D. for Psychology Today explains it well: “People who allow themselves to be bored and are not afraid to be with themselves and their thoughts think more creatively than those who do not experience boredom.”
But for many of us, boredom has become foreign territory.
Standing in line at the grocery store. Riding the metro. Waiting for a friend to join you at the coffee shop. All moments where we could observe our surroundings, let the mind wander, and just generally be at ease with our own company. But we never let it happen, because we immediately reach for the phone to fill those moments with the scroll and, in doing so, extinguish any sparks of creativity before they can ignite.
Learn how to do things alone—without feeling lonely
a comfortable, nonjudgmental email challenge that helps you own the power of being alone
I was never that into social media to begin with, so I was surprised that cutting it out of my life was still pretty challenging. They have succeeded in making the scroll so damn addictive.
This is what finally worked for me:
I deleted the apps from my phone. This was the single most important change I made to stop using social media. When the apps just aren’t there, you’ll pick up your phone and not know what to do with it. And eventually, you’ll stop picking up your phone altogether.
I put website blockers on my computer. With no mobile apps, desktop social media suddenly became a lot more enticing—so I nipped it in the bud. After about two weeks, I stopped even feeling the urge to visit Instagram or Twitter for a quick scroll.
I replaced my urge to scroll with something else. I used to use Duolingo, but then I wanted to go even more analog. When I’m working from home, I’ll do a 5-minute stretch at my desk or play a song on the guitar. When I’m on the go, I’ll read an article or a blog post from an email newsletter.
I ask people for their phone numbers when I meet them instead of exchanging Instagram accounts. I thought it would be awkward, but it isn’t. Now I can communicate with a new friend whenever I want to—and Zuckerberg never has to get involved.
Conclusion: Is it time to quit social media?
Look, you don’t have to completely get rid of social media if you don’t want to. But taking regular breaks from the scroll and reminding yourself to bring your head above the water can make a world of a difference for your self-esteem, attention span, mental health, personal relationships, sleep cycle—I can go on.
In my new life after social media (AKA, no social media on my phone), I feel like I have so much more free time. I also have less of an urge to buy random things I don’t need. I don’t have FOMO. I’m not comparing myself to others as much. Again, I can go on.
The benefits of quitting social media are a little different for everyone, but one common denominator that I think everyone can rejoice in: Less data and money being sent to Big Tech.
Next Steps:
Start with one small change today. You don’t have to go cold turkey on the first day. Actually, it’s easier and more sustainable if you get rid of social media, bit by bit. So pick one thing: delete the apps from your phone; set up website blockers; maybe consider buying the Brick if you think that might work for you.
Find other activities to fill your scroll time. This is crucial. Getting rid of a bad habit won’t stick if you don’t have a good habit to take its place. Find 34+ ideas on What To Do Instead of Social Media when you’re commuting, unwinding after work, eating lunch, and everything in between.
Tell one person what you’re doing. Accountability helps. If you let a friend or partner know you’re trying to quit social media, they can be another helpful reminder when you’re reaching for your phone in the middle of dinner. Better yet, they could join in the challenge. Send them this blog post so you can help each other take a break from social media together.
Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.
How to Quit Social Media: Common FAQs
Is it possible to quit social media?
It sure is. Even though it feels like everyone else is perpetually online, it doesn’t mean you can’t live your life differently. Actually, getting rid of social media is becoming a lot more popular; a new survey from GWI reveals 7 in 10 people have tried to limit their digital consumption in some way.
Maybe you just quit social media for one month out of the year—or one day out of the week. However much you want to scale back, it’s possible.
Can you quit social media cold turkey?
You definitely can quit social media cold turkey, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. For a lot of people, it’s more sustainable to gradually wean themselves off of social media, e.g., deleting apps, then putting up website blockers, then deleting accounts if you feel ready.
If you are going to quit social media cold turkey, make sure you’ve got new activities at the ready to replace your scroll time, like reading or playing games. Find ideas in this organized guide of What To Do Instead of Social Media.
When should you quit social media?
You can’t go a day without looking at social media. It’s the first thing you look at in the morning when you wake up and/or the last thing you see before going to bed at night. You’re clocking several hours a day scrolling on social media.
These are all signs that it’s probably time to quit social media—or at least dramatically scale back your use.
How does it feel to quit social media?
I personally love life after social media. I find I have more time in the day, less FOMO, and less desire to buy new things.
But at first, it does feel a little weird. You’ll probably find yourself picking up your phone out of habit and not knowing what to do with it. Or you’ll have a few minutes of down time and not know how to fill it. That’s why I’ve prepared a list with 34+ ideas of What To Do Instead of Social Media to help you replace the urge to scroll with other activities that bring more joy.
What are the best books on how to quit social media?
This book doesn’t outline specific steps on how to quit social media, but it does open your eyes to the ways in which Big Tech is doing everything in its power to keep our eyes glued to the screen. And with that information, may just come a little more motivation and willpower to kick social media to the curb.
“Better” is subjective, obviously, but the research is telling: Social media makes us depressed, anxious, lonely, and unable to sleep. Sadly, that is just the tip of the iceberg, as the Harvard Summer School outlines.
If we can assume that removing social media from our lives make us less depressed, less anxious, less lonely, and better sleepers, then I think it’s safe to say that life is indeed “better” after social media.
Merry
Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.
Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:
LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company
BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story
ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline
SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone
MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life
LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life
