What I Learned Traveling the World Alone Without My Partner

Evan E. Lambert May 23, 2025

Without a travel partner, I forced myself to shake off my inhibitions, allowing myself to be vulnerable.

“Can I just sit anywhere?” I asked the waiter. He stared at me for a beat. “Can I just sit anywhere?” I repeated, suddenly wondering if I had violated an obscure Colombian cultural norm by asking. Maybe, in Colombia, you were supposed to just boldly sit down anywhere, even if you didn’t have a reservation. Maybe this was another negative aftereffect of Spanish colonialism that I didn’t yet understand.

Finally, the waiter shook off his reverie and listlessly gestured to a table, still apparently confused. Sinking into my seat, I basked in the knowledge that I had successfully acquired a place in this restaurant.

It wasn’t until hours later that I learned there was a difference between sentarse (to sit) and sentirse (technically, to feel one’s self). I hadn’t, in fact, been asking if I could sit anywhere. Instead, I had been asking, repeatedly and with confidence, “Can I just touch myself anywhere?”

I blamed my boyfriend Renzo. He was supposed to protect me from these situations; he was the native Spanish speaker of the two of us. However, he had been busy with a work meeting that day during the hour of my solo excursion. But little did I know that this was merely the first of many similar situations. 

For the past year, we had both been working remotely, so Renzo could play translator whenever I forgot a word or didn’t have enough functioning brain cells. But many months after my restaurant faux pas, Renzo’s job stopped being remote, temporarily separating us and leading me to embark on several solo travel journeys that turned me into a Merry Loner. Here’s what happened—and what I learned.

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Embrace mistakes

Mixing up sentirse and sentarse is not the only mistake I’ve made while speaking another language. 

In French, I once accidentally ordered a toddler-sized bottle of wine for my mom, who barely drinks. In Italian, I accidentally told a flight attendant I was vegan. In Portuguese, I accidentally declared to an entire room that I was straight. But in all of these cases, I was able to overcome my temporary embarrassment by laughing everything off.

Speaking another language can be frustrating and even terrifying, but it helps if you take yourself less seriously. Even if you’re the smartest person in the world, you’ll make mistakes when you first engage with a new language. 

This is humbling; this is ego death. This is life. It happens when you have no one else to rely on but yourself.

Seek creative solutions

When Renzo and I were constantly traveling together, he would fight my battles for me in Spanish as if we were Meegan and Andre. Without him, I’ve not only improved my Spanish but learned to fend for myself. 

For instance, when I was in the northeastern Colombian city of Bucaramanga for a travel writing assignment, I couldn’t find a pool with open hours for lap swimming. Every person I talked to had said that I needed to pay for lessons. The problem was that I already knew how to swim. 

So I decided to pay for lessons. Then when I met the instructor, I simply told him that I could already swim and that he was now officially on paid vacation. In one fell swoop, I had both unlocked a new level of Spanish and learned how to navigate the informal currents of Colombian culture. 

Since that moment, I’ve tackled all of my obstacles with a sense of playfulness and calm. It’s the best way to stay sane when I have no one else to vent or laugh about my troubles with. Plus, my swim instructor was able to use his time off to finish The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

Step outside your comfort zone

If you are an introvert, then the idea of asking a stranger for help can incite a nervous breakdown. But sometimes, you have to push yourself and take that extra step. 

Case in point: In my second year of solo trips without Renzo, I found myself in a pickle. I was in the Calanques of southern France, slightly lost and more than a little shaken after a disastrous solo lunch in which I broke every rule of French etiquette. (I used the wrong spoon; I dipped the wrong bread in my soup; I smiled too much.)

But soon, I noticed a fellow Merry Loner, equally lost-looking and (as I would soon discover) similarly separated from his boyfriend, who was temporarily overseas. I swallowed my fear, ignoring my impulse for shyness, and asked this man if he knew how to find a trail back to civilization. In the end, we found it together and even swam in a grotto for a bit. He lent me his towel. 

Though I had indeed relied on the kindness of a stranger, I strangely felt more independent afterwards. Without a travel partner, I’d forced myself to shake off my inhibitions, allowing myself to be vulnerable. I could now add “asking for help” to my arsenal.

Don’t neglect yourself

Solo travel can be intimidating, but you’ll need to engage in active self-love to succeed. 

Whenever I’ve traveled without Renzo, I always made it a point to find sites for phoneless reflection. Facing a sunset. Behind an abandoned warehouse. Under the shade of an oak tree. I’ve needed this time to confront my thoughts, uncover my pain, and reflect upon my experiences. Only then have my lessons been learned or even recognized.

Without that time for reflection, solo travel would have become a series of meaningless images and sounds, soulless and uninspiring, pushing me back into my comfort zone. I also wouldn’t have grown to see myself as my own best travel partner.

Not quite ready to travel the world solo yet?

Baby steps. A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge can help you get there.

  • Daily bite-sized challenges to help you experiment with doing things alone
  • A judgment-free zone to share all your feels about how the day’s activity went
  • 7 journal prompts to help you process and learn from what you did that day

Boyfriend? What boyfriend?

Solo travel has also made me a better boyfriend. Armed with self-knowledge, I’ve grown more skilled at communicating my needs and accommodating Renzo’s. I fight my own battles but seek help when I need it. I learn from my mistakes. I appreciate the smaller moments.

That said, boyfriends remain overrated. Don’t wait on your significant other if you want to book that ticket to Rome. Go. A sunrise epiphany on Capitoline Hill only happens once in a lifetime. Date night can happen any old Wednesday.

Recommended Reading:

Evan E. Lambert is an essayist, journalist, travel writer, and short fiction author with clips at Thought Catalog, People, Business Insider, Mic, Going, Santa Fe Writers Project, Paste, Motley Bloom, and more. He spends much of his time in Lima, Peru, and is fluent in Spanglish.

7 Books on Self-Awareness to Become a Better Person

Merry May 12, 2025

Working on yourself is the most important work of your life.

My toxic trait is that I can be quite oblivious to my surroundings. 

Until recently, I had no idea that that friend of a friend had a crush on me. Yesterday I walked right by a friend who was waving to me in the street—not because I’m a stuck-up snob with my nose in the air, but because I genuinely didn’t notice her. Sometimes, I childishly don’t realize what I’m feeling about a specific situation until I’ve had the time and distance to sort it all out in my head (and maybe also have a snack, which somehow makes everything clearer).

I’ve always got my head in the clouds, but lately I’ve been trying to come back down to Earth. At least for a little bit. 

And I’m getting there with a little help from my friends. By friends, I mean a whole retinue of books on awareness—books on self-awareness, that is. 

I’ve done a lot of reading, a lot of highlighting, and a lot of dog-earing the pages. (Don’t tell your neurotic book friends.)

In my eternal quest for self-development, I think I’m getting one step closer with my carefully curated list of the seven best books on self-awareness.

The shortlist: 7 best books on self-awareness

  1. Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers — if you’re feeling stressed

  2. You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters — if you have the sinking suspicion that you’re actually the one who’s the bad listener…

  3. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life —if you keep having arguments with your loved ones (or your not loved ones)

  4. I’m Glad My Mom Died — if you feel guilty about being mad at someone

  5. The School of Life: An Emotional Education — if you are losing yourself in this crazy, overwhelming world (which is totally understandable by the way)

  6. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals — if you worry about never having enough time to do all of the things you want (and/or feel like you have) to do… 

  7. Irresistable: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked — if you know you’re too plugged into tech, but you don’t know how to stop

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    What does it mean to be self-aware?

    If you’re asking yourself this question, you’re already off to a good start. 

    Europe’s Journal of Psychology defines self-awareness as “the extent to which people are consciously aware of their internal states and their interactions or relationships with others.”

    Let’s break that down:

    “…aware of their internal states…” AKA, what’s really going on in that complicated noggin of yours? What are you feeling, reeling with, dealing with, or (dare I say) oppressing?

    “…aware of…their interactions or relationships with others.” That’s quite the loaded phrase, isn’t it? Most immediately, it makes me think: Am I actually treating other people the way I think I am? Am I listening to them? Am I considering their feelings when I interact with them? Am I considering MY feelings when I interact with them? 

    Top 7 Books on Self-Awareness

    I’m not here to play doctor. But what I can do is help you begin (or continue) your personal development journey. 

    Light up a candle that makes you feel something. Put on your best moody, mellow playlist. And tear into one of the best books on self-awareness. 

    1. You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy

    I read this book a few months before I got married after my soon-to-be-husband and I had an argument. (What it was about, I can’t even remember, which just goes to show you how so many of the things we stress about in this world end up being unimportant in the long run.) 

    Listening is probably one of the more important components in improving your self–awareness. (Really, it’s one of the more important factors in life.) And we rarely give it enough attention. 

    Warning: Reading this book may make you cringe—repeatedly—since it’ll force you to recall some of the many, many times you failed to be a good listener. (Don’t worry, aren’t we all?) 

    Then, it gives you strategies to course-correct yourself so you can stop being the friend who only talks about herself and start being the friend who actually, truly, really cares.

    Available at Bookshop.org

    My favorite quote from You’re Not Listening: 

    “In modern life, we are encouraged to listen to our hearts, listen to our inner voices, and listen to our guts, but rarely are we encouraged to listen carefully and with intent to other people.” 

    "Listening is probably one of the more important components in improving your self–awareness. And we rarely give it enough attention."

    2. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman

    I read this book after I saw some random person on X mention it. Thanks, random person on X—you were right: This book made me do a double-take on:

    • All the things I’m constantly stressing about

    • All the things I want to do in my life

    • All the things I will probably never be able to do 

    It’s depressing—in a good way. (The same kind of way that we believe “Life Is Sad and Then You Die” is actually a pretty great, uplifting life motto. This is why.)

    The (perhaps sad) reality of life is that we only have so much time here. We don’t even know how much, exactly, we have. And far too many of us squander far too much of it. This book gave me pause and inspired me to drop a lot of dead weight that was only dragging me down and stressing me out. 

    We just don’t have time for that. 

    Available on Bookshop.org

    My favorite quote from Four Thousand Weeks: 

    “Convenience culture seduces us into imagining that we might find room for everything important by eliminating only life’s tedious tasks. But it’s a lie. You have to choose a few things, sacrifice everything else, and deal with the inevitable sense of loss that results.” 

    3. Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert M. Sapolsky

    I read this book during probably the most stressful summer of my life. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I was staying in an acquaintance’s apartment (without Wi-Fi, quelle horreur!) in a country where I knew only two people. I think I had a panic attack for the very first time. 

    So one of the two people I knew gave me this book. 

    I read it in, I think, two days, and I’m pretty sure I felt my heart rate decelerating with each turn of the page. 

    Basically, Sapolksy explains how we’re all walking balls of stress. (Okay, nothing new there.) In our modern society, we have few opportunities to release this stress physically, so we remain trapped in a chronic physiological state of stress. That’s not a good thing. 

    Remember how we talked about being aware of your internal state? If your internal state is a stressed-out dumpster fire screaming for help, this book will help you find a hose.

    Available at Bookshop.org

    My favorite quote from Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers:

    “For the vast majority of beasts on this planet, stress is about a short-term crisis, after which it’s either over with or you’re over with. When we sit around and worry about stressful things, we turn on the same physiological responses—but they are potentially a disaster when provoked chronically.”

    Learn how to do things alone—without feeling lonely

    a comfortable, nonjudgmental email challenge that helps you own the power of being alone

    (See what’s inside.)

      4. The School of Life: An Emotional Education by Alain de Botton

      I remember reading this book over a few warm summer nights back when I lived in Providence, huddled under the porchlight in my robe, absentmindedly flicking away mosquitos and curious passersby. 

      I was deep in my Depression Era, and I was mostly turning to books for some solace and a beacon of light in my search for meaning. I’m not saying this book cured my depression (certainly not), but it made the future seem a little less bleak. And in some chapters, it gave me the warm fuzzies.

      Mostly, it made me more aware of my own level of emotional intelligence—where I excelled, where I was lagging behind, and what I could do to try to become better.

      Available at Bookshop.org

      My favorite quote from An Emotional Education:

      “Paradoxically, it is friendship that often offers us the real route to the pleasures that Romanticism associates with love.

      That this sounds surprising is only a reflection of how underdeveloped our day-to-day vision of friendship has become. We associate it with a casual acquaintance we see only once in a while to exchange inconsequential and shallow banter.

      But real friendship is something altogether more profound and worthy of exultation.

      It is an arena in which two people can get a sense of each other’s vulnerabilities, appreciate each other’s follies without recrimination, reassure each other as to their value and greet the sorrows and tragedies of existence with wit and warmth.”

      5. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD

      Buckle in: This self-awareness book recommendation comes with a story. 

      When I was a sophomore in college, I took a class called Interpersonal Communications. I vividly remember being in the car with my dad and older brother when I received an email from the professor about the upcoming course. Her message read something along the lines of: 

      “By the end of this class, you will be more in touch with your emotions, more compassionate and understanding of those around you, and better able to navigate delicate emotional—blah blah blah…” 

      I was not enthused. I was 19. I was angst-y and consumed with existential dead. I wanted nothing to do with (what I considered )to be this unnecessary, flowery nonsense. 

      Cut to a year later. This professor asked me to be her teaching assistant. We got coffee outside of class. And I confessed to the very awesome Kristine Cabral that I had been totally wrong about this book, her class, and my approach to communication. 

      I’ve read many magnificent books in my life, but few among them I would call life-changing. This book is life-changing. (I even bought copies of this book for some family members as gifts. You take from that what you will.) 

      Available at Bookshop.org

      My favorite quote from Nonviolent Communication:

      “We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.”

      6. Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked by Adam Alter

      I think I read this book during the COVID-19 pandemic lock-downs. (So trigger warning to myself.) 

      Clearly, it was a time when we were all online more than ever, and I don’t know about you, but my mental health was really suffering. Before the pandemic, I would happily power down my phone some nights just to have some mental peace and quiet and get away from the incessant notifications, messages, and urges to scroll. My loneliness and my lack of interaction with anyone outside my house put an abrupt end to my former healthy practice.

      And though the pandemic has come and gone, my old habit has not quite fully returned. 

      But I did put down my phone long enough to read this book, which made me do a hard think on my relationship with technology and what factors I can control to stay out of the clutches of Big Tech. 

      Available at Bookshop.org

      My favorite quote from Irresistable: 

      “The problem isn’t that people lack willpower; it’s that ‘there are a thousand people on the other side of the screen whose job it is to break down the self-regulation you have.’”

      Is social media consuming all your time?

      Stop the scroll.

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      7. I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

      This is probably the most buzz-worthy among the self-aware books on this list—and for good reason. 

      If you’re not already familiar, Jennette McCurdy was a child actor on popular shows like iCarly and Sam and Cat. But this memoir isn’t a juicy tell-all on the woes of child stardom nor is it a critique of the predatory child acting industry so much as it is a reflection on her difficult relationship with her mother and, by consequence, herself.

      Remember what Europe’s Journal of Psychology said about self-awareness? Self-awareness also pertains to how much we are aware of our interactions or relationships with others. 

      Paying attention to how we interact with others, how they interact with us, and what that means for our mental and emotional well-being is A LOT easier said than done. McCurdy’s brutally honest tale sets the course for profound self-reflection that most of us are sorely in need of.

      Available at Bookshop.org

      My favorite quote from I’m Glad My Mom Died:

      “I’m trying every day to face myself. The results vary, but the attempts are consistent.”

      And the best book on self-awareness is...

      IMHO, the best book on self-awareness from this line-up is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD. (I did call it life-changing, right?) 

      All the self-awareness books in this line-up give you something of value, but this is the one that really made me look inward and then actually change not only my way of thinking but my behavior. (It also made me eat my words.) 

      Ready to read?

      Don't procrastinate—grab a book on self-awareness and get started:

      The best books on self-awareness, depending on what you need right now

      Of course, I can’t speak for everyone. While we could all probably use a little more time giving ourselves constructive criticism, we don’t all need the same kind of constructive criticism. 

      So here’s your quick cheat sheet, i.e., the best self-awareness books for you in this present moment. 

      P.S. Don’t overthink it! Just follow your gut instinct. It knows the way.

      Which self-awareness book do you need?
      Which self-awareness book do you need right now? Book
      If you're feeling stressed... Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers
      If you have the sinking suspicion that you're actually the one who's the bad listener... You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters
      If you keep having arguments with your loved ones (or your not loved ones)... Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
      If you feel guilty about being mad at someone... I’m Glad My Mom Died
      If you are losing yourself in this crazy, overwhelming world (which is totally understandable by the way)... The School of Life: An Emotional Education
      If you worry about never having enough time to do all of the things you want (and/or feel like you have) to do... Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
      If you know you're too plugged into tech, but you don't know how to stop... Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked

      Conclusion: The best books on self-awareness to be the best you

      Will reading the best books on self-awareness automatically make you a better person? 

      Sorry, friend. It’s not that easy. 

      These may be some of the best books to improve self-awareness, but you still need to put the legwork in. That might mean journaling, talking with a friend, doing a little bit of wallowing, or going for a walk to ponder the secret to happiness. 

      It’s an uphill battle that won’t be solved in a day. 

      But that’s life. And you can do it. 

      Next Steps:

      Choose one book that speaks to what you’re going through right now. Not sure where to start? I think The School of Life: An Emotional Education is an all-around enlightening pick that has a little something to help everyone. 

      Commit to reading the whole thing. Just a few minutes a day is all it takes. Take 5 seconds right now and put a reminder in your phone right to read for 15 minutes a day. 

      Set aside time for solo reflection. Give yourself space to digest and think about what you read. If the book brings up some frustration, let it out with these 20 Journal Prompts for Anger.

      Use the image below to save this post to Pinterest so this list is there when you need it.

      Books on Self-Awareness: Common FAQs

      What is the best book on how to have more self-awareness?

      There’s no one best book on self-awareness because we’re all different (duh). But if had to recommend one book to get you started, that would be The School of Life: An Emotional Education.

      While the other self awareness books in this list tap into more niche emotions, this one covers a greater breadth of the human experience and, IMHO, has a little something for everyone. 

      Why is self-awareness important?

      You can’t work on becoming a better person if you don’t know where you’re starting from—and we all need to work on ourselves at least a little.

      Self-awareness helps you better understand what makes you tick, where you shine, and where you fall short so you can start taking steps to becoming a better you. 

      Can self-awareness be taught?

      Yes! Self-awareness is like a muscle: the more you work it, the stronger it becomes. 

      But like a muscle, self-awareness requires consistent effort to see progress. That means incorporating habits that help build self-awareness into your regular routine, like reading more self awareness books, journaling, or meditating. 

      Discover more healthy habits to start now for long-term physical and mental wellbeing. 

      What are some great classics to read to help build self-awareness?

      Self-awareness is an age-old challenge. If you want more books on self-awareness, you can also get a lot of useful insight and inspiration from literature. 

      Specifically, some of my favorite classic noves that touch on self-awareness themes are The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde and The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. 

      Find more classic reading inspiration in my round-up of the Easiest Classic Novels to Read.

      Want to support local bookstores?

      So long, Bezos.
      find alternatives to Amazon for books
      Picture of Merry

      Merry

      Merry is the blogger behind A Merry Loner, a full-time freelance writer, and a lifelong bookworm. Since kindergarten, it was her dream to become a novelist. (She likes to think she's headed in the right direction.) Born and raised in Rhode Island, where she earned a triple-major BA in writing, communication, and French from the University of Rhode Island, she moved to Toulouse, France after the pandemic to complete a master's in creative writing at Univeristé Toulouse Jean — Jaurès. She now lives in Paris with husband.

      Discover how the merry loner lifestyle makes life more enjoyable:

      LONER MINDSET: fresh perspectives on learning to genuinely enjoy your own company

      BOOKS: reading lists for people who love being alone with a good story

      ANALOG LIVING: inspiration to step back from the screen and live a life offline

      SOLO TRAVEL: guides on where to go and how to enjoy it alone

      MINDFUL CONSUMPTION: vetted recommendations for a simpler, less wasteful life

      LONER Q&As: interviews from global voices on how to live a meaningful, enjoyable life

      Feeling Lonely?

      I believe a happy life starts with learning to enjo your own company.

      Every week, I write a newsletter with notes on books, analog living, solo travel, and mindful consumption—the pillars of what I call the Loner Mindset.

      Because when you can be happy on your own, you can do anything.

        I respect you and your inbox. No SPAM. You can always unsubscribe if you change your mind.

        21 Quotes for Traveling Alone

        Merry April 29, 2025

        What makes us want to collect (dare I say hoard) quotes? Words of wisdom plucked from a writer, artist, or some other sage figure that struck some magical, harmonic chord within us.

        • “Yes, that’s how I’ve always felt.”
        • “No one’s put it that way to me before.” 
        • “I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling—but finally, there it is.” 

        I highlight quotes I like in books. Dog-ear the pages. Circle entire paragraphs. If it’s a library book, I’ll even take the time to painstakingly transcribe the quote into a journal, on a napkin, or on any errant scrap I find. 

        These days, my quotes are now likely to get lost in the digital abyss. Copy-and-pasted into a Google Doc. Bookmarked on my browser. Saved in my Notes apps—and rarely, if ever, seen again. 

        Why do we do this? 

        Because words make you feel. They can make you heal. And put together just so, they can give you more pause than an entire photo reel (or even, she shudders, an Instagram reel). 

        Words are our friends when the world is screaming too loud. When small talk is insufficient and corporate speak, ubiquitous. Someone, somewhere has already found just the right thing to say to soothe you and move you and keep the existential dread at bay. 

        These are some of them—the traveling alone version. 

        Whether you need: 

        • Quotes about traveling alone to help you sink into the bliss of solitude
        • Traveling alone quotes to make you feel like a free bird
        • Quotes for traveling alone to potentially find yourself 
        • Quotes on traveling alone that make you focus on personal growth

        Consider this your chest of inspirational delights for sometimes-weary travelers in our often-weary world: a thoughtfully curated round-up of 21 quotes for traveling alone. 

        Related Posts: 

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        More words of wisdom on solo travel and Loner Living?

        Yes, please. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s newsletter to get the latest in your inbox.

        Quotes about traveling alone…for when you want to sink into the bliss of solitude

        Taking in the sunset solo—with only a glass of wine at your side. Wandering hidden bookshops in a new city. Cosplaying an elderly gentleman by sitting outside a cafe for hours and just calmly watching the world go by. 

        When you appreciate the bliss of solitude, you can find contentment anywhere. 

        Set the mood with these 6 quotes about traveling alone to savor solitude: 

        1. “Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.”

        Speaker: Henry Rollins, American singer and writer (1961–)

        2. “I wondered why it was that places are so much lovelier when one is alone.”

        Speaker: Daphne du Maurier, English novelist, biographer and playwright (1907–1989)

        3. “To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the most pleasant sensations in the world.”

        Speaker: Freya Stark, British-Italian explorer and travel writer (1893–1993)

        4. “In the solitude of solo travel, the mind expands, and the spirit dances to the rhythm of the open road.”

        Speaker: Jack Kerouac, American novelist and poet (1922–1969)

        5.“The inner journey of travel is intensified by solitude.”

        Speaker: Paul Theroux, American novelist and travel writer (1941–)

        6. “I am not the same, having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.”

        Speaker: Mary Anne Radmacher, American writer and artist (1957–)

        Traveling alone quotes…to make you feel like a free bird

        Perhaps you spontaneously cut your own hair—or dyed it. Quit your job. Ended a relationship. Moved—whether across the country or to the next town over.

        Even small steps can make big changes, especially when those small steps are the first on a voyage you take alone.

        For the only company you need, turn to these 3 traveling alone quotes to make you feel free like a bird:

        7. “The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.”

        Speaker: Henry David Thoreau, American naturalist and essayist (1817–1862)

        8. “Travel only with thy equals or thy betters; if there are none, travel alone.”

        Speaker: Buddha, ascetic and religious teacher (6th or 5th century BCE)

        9. “A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.”

        Speaker: Chelsea Handler, American comedian and actress (1975–)

        Quotes for traveling alone…and potentially even finding yourself

        The unspoken quest of every solo journey to be taken: “finding” yourself.

        Even if you hadn’t felt lost to begin with, an independent mind, an open road, and enough space and time to think can put you face to face with the person you didn’t know you could be.

        Get curious with these 6 quotes for traveling alone to find yourself:

        10. “You must go on adventures alone to find out where you belong.”

        Speaker: Sue Fitzmaurice, New Zealand writer, editor, publisher (unknown)

        11. “When the traveler goes alone he gets acquainted by himself.”

        Speaker: Liberty Hyde Bailey, American horticulturist (1858–1954)

        12. “I think one travels more usefully when they travel alone, because they reflect more.”

        Speaker: Thomas Jefferson, American Founding Father and 3rd US President (1743–1826)

        13. “Traveling alone makes it easier to be yourself.”

        Speaker: Charles Bukowski, American poet and novelist (1920–1994)

        14. “It seemed an advantage to be traveling alone… we temper our curiosity to fit in with the expectations of others.”

        Speaker: Alain de Botton, British author (1969–)

        15. “Loving life is easy when you are abroad… you are more master of yourself than at any other time.”

        Speaker: Hannah Arendt, German-American historian and philosopher (1906–1975)

        Quotes on traveling alone…that make you focus on personal growth

        Sometimes if you want to grow, you must first rip out your roots.

        Walk where you’ve never been. Pack lightly. Breathe deeply. And keep your best photos for yourself—the most profound personal growth happens when no one is looking.

        Start the process with these 6 quotes on traveling alone for personal growth:

        16. “Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one thing that is going to require the most from you.”

        Speaker: Caroline Myss, American author (1952–)

        17. “If you don’t get out of the box you’ve been raised in, you won’t understand how much bigger the world is.”

        Speaker: Angelina Jolie, American actress and filmmaker (1975–)

        18. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do…”

        Speaker: Mark Twain, American writer and humorist (1835–1910)

        19. “You are the one that possesses the keys to your being. You carry the passport to your own happiness.”

        Speaker: Diane Von Fürstenberg, Belgian fashion designer (1946–)

        20. “A solo journey is not a solitary endeavor; it’s an affirmation of your ability to thrive independently…”

        Speaker: Amy Smith, leadership coach (unknown)

        21. “Solo travel not only pushes you out of your comfort zone; it also pushes you out of the zone of others’ expectations.”

        Speaker: Suzy Strutner, Executive Content Director, Oracle (unknown)

        A book of quotes for traveling alone—AKA the best solo travel companion

        Perhaps the old Eat Pray Love clichés are true. Solo travel does teach you about yourself. It tests your patience, exposes you to new cultures, and reminds you that you are a tiny bee in a massive hive and that, for better or for worse (usually for better), you, your troubles, and your worries are really not that big of a deal.

        Most importantly, solo travel forces you to spend time with no one but yourself—a surprisingly difficult feat in our always-connected, always-buzzing world of endless distractions.

        A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge

        Solo travel doesn’t have to be far. It can be as close as the next town over. Ready to start? Learn how to get more comfortable doing new things alone.

        • Daily bite-sized challenge to help you experiment with doing things alone
        • A judgment-free zone to share all your feels about how the day’s activity went
        • Daily journal prompts to help you process and learn from what you did that day

        Recommended Reading: 

        Extroverts Can Be Loners, Too: How Solo Travel Taught Sarah Silvia to Love Spending Time Alone

        Merry April 16, 2025

        Turns out, extroverts can be loners, too. 

        When Sarah Silvia booked a one-way ticket to Spain to become an au pair just a few months after graduating college early, she had next to no travel experience under her belt and wasn’t sure what to expect. 

        But something clicked. What started as a leap of faith ended up becoming her new way of life. Now, solo travel isn’t just something Sarah enjoys—it’s something she actively seeks out to reset, explore, and learn more about herself. 

        In a conversation with A Merry Loner, this former barista, ESL teacher, and self-described extrovert shares how she grew to love spending time alone, why flying solo feels easier abroad than at home, and how solo travel can actually be one of the best ways to meet new people.

        Sign up here to get all future Loner Q&As delivered straight to your inbox.

        Related Posts:

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        More honest interviews about embracing Loner Living?

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        AML: Before you became an au pair, what sparked your interest in international travel? 

        SS: In university, I had an education professor who is one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. She organized a trip to Costa Rica to teach English (ESL)—that was the first time I ever left the country. That was in January 2020, right before COVID. 

        Also in my first year of university, I met a girl from Brazil who became my best friend. We are now inseparable—when we’re in the same country. So in December 2021, when the borders finally opened again, I went to Brazil. I was like, “This is incredible. This is not something I want to stop doing.” 

        AML: Did that experience influence your decision to go be an au pair in Spain? 

        SS: Definitely. After seeing Brazil for the first time, I was like, “There is so much of this world to see, and there are so many people to meet and places to explore and foods to try.” You know, all that stuff. 

        When I got home, the very first thing I did was get on my computer and get on Workaway, which is a work exchange website where you can offer a few hours of work in exchange for room and board. I just made a profile and looked up different opportunities in Europe. 

        Almost immediately, a family in Spain got back to me. We sat on the phone for 30 minutes, and she asked me when I was booking my flight. But I decided to stay home and keep working for a couple of months first. Then it was like, “Cool—see you in September.” 

        It was definitely a leap of faith because it was a woman I met off a random website. There was no fact-checking from my end. I just decided to trust my gut and go. It ended up turning out absolutely incredible. 

        AML: Before going to Spain, you worked as a barista where you had a big community and social network. What was it like getting used to being by yourself so much out in the Spanish countryside? 

        SS: I didn’t expect it, but I actually spent a lot of time alone in Spain, which was an adjustment. Not difficult—but different because I’m a very social person. 

        And later when I was an au pair again in France, I didn’t have the same work schedule as most of the people I met. I was an au pair, so I had the whole day free and then I started work at four. All of my friends worked all day and got off work at four, so I had to get used to doing stuff alone. 

        Not used to spending time alone (and enjoying it)?

        A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge can help you get there.

        • Daily, bite-sized challenges to help you experiment with doing things alone
        • 7 journal prompts to help you process and learn from what you did that day

        AML: In between being an au pair in Spain and France, you also spent time backpacking alone around Europe. What was that like? 

        SS: I spent two and a half months backpacking around 10 countries in Europe. I went everywhere—from the UK to Austria, the Czech Republic, and a lot of places in between. 

        I had no plan. No flights booked. No hostels booked. I would just look at what city was the cheapest to fly to from wherever I was. If there was a cheap hostel in that city, then that’s where I went. After a few visits, I was hooked. 

        Recommended Reading: Alone at Night in Paris—Where to Take Yourself on a Solo Date

        AML: You’re such an extrovert, so did any of that solo travel change the way you feel about being alone? 

        SS: Yeah, before I started traveling, I wouldn’t do anything alone. Even just going to the grocery store, I would text a friend and ask them to join me. I always just liked being around people. I never get tired of it.

        But then I moved to Spain and spent a lot of time alone. And when I came back home from Spain, I had this feeling like, “Oh my God, I need to spend some time alone” after being at work all day. 

        I never felt that need for alone time until I had a lot of it. And then I was like… I kind of understand this now—this need to retreat and be by yourself and have alone time.

        AML: How does alone time at home compare to alone time while traveling? 

        SS: It’s strange—I feel totally fine doing things alone when I’m abroad—like going to dinner, walking around a city, even just sitting at a café for hours. But at home, I don’t really do that. I wouldn’t go out to dinner by myself or go sit at a bar. And I don’t really know why.

        Maybe it’s because when you’re traveling, no one knows you. There’s this sense of anonymity—you can do whatever you want, and no one’s watching or wondering why you’re by yourself. But at home, especially in Rhode Island, which has a small-town feel, I’ll probably run into someone I know. It just feels… different. Even though this is my comfort zone, being alone in public here feels kind of awkward.

        “When you’re traveling and you don’t know anyone yet, if you don’t do things alone, you don’t do anything.”

        And part of it might be that I don’t have to do things alone when I’m home. I have my family, my childhood friends—I always have someone I could call. But when you’re traveling and you don’t know anyone yet, if you don’t do things alone, you don’t do anything. You don’t have a choice.

        AML: What advice would you give someone who wants to get into solo travel or has maybe tried to but didn’t love it? 

        SS: First of all, just realize what you like. When it comes to traveling alone, I am really big on food and coffee and sights. And beaches and sunsets and nature hikes and stuff like that. The first thing I do when I get to a new place is look up specialty coffee shops—that’s my first stop. 

        But some people love museums; they love art; they love theater. So I would just say: Focus on what you like in cities. Because if you find something that you’re comfortable with, then I think that will entice you to keep going. 

        AML: I think a common fear about solo travel is never meeting anybody, never making any friends at hostels. What’s been the easiest way for you to meet people while traveling alone? 

        SS: I have met every single person through the hostels that I stay in. There’s a wide range of hostels from very co-working and more professional—those are usually older demographics. And then there’s party hostels and everything in between. 

        I try and choose something that is relatively nice, that has group activities planned, like walking tours of cities. Because the first day in a city, I will always try to go on a walking tour. And then I usually end up going out for lunch or coffee with the people I meet on the tour. 

        You just kind of have to start talking to people, like, “Hey, what’s your name? Where are you from?” It sounds simple and so high school, but it works. 

        AML: Simple—but not easy for everyone. Any advice for those of us who are more shy or nervous to strike up conversations with strangers? 

        SS: In the beginning, it was actually really easy because I had never solo traveled before, so I was really comfortable asking people for recommendations because I didn’t know anything. That’s how we started talking. 

        But actually, last year I went to a hostel—and I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone. I realized it was because I had become the seasoned traveler, and I just lost that need to reach out. Eventually, I just got over it. I was like, “Well, I don’t know anyone here, so I have to start to talk to someone.” You just gotta do it. 

        AML: For you, what’s one of the biggest benefits of solo travel compared to traveling with friends? 

        SS: I have pretty much always just solo traveled. But then one summer I spent two weeks backpacking in Albania with one of my closest friends—and that trip was when I met the least amount of people ever. 

        We realized that by traveling together, we weren’t as approachable. But then I think of the amount of times where I’ve been sitting alone and someone comes up and approaches me and then we start a conversation and a friendship from that…

        “You can do more if you’re willing to be independent.”

        When I was with someone already, no one would just come up. You’re much less approachable in a group or in a pair than you are when you’re by yourself. That’s a very vast difference I saw, and I think one of the main benefits of solo travel. It’s not about being antisocial, but you can do more if you’re willing to be independent. 

        Recommended Reading:

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        Moving to a New City in Your 30s—Feeling Lonely in Your “Prime”

        Gavin Williams April 3, 2025

        This is a tale of change. Of wanting, failing, getting, regretting, and growing. It’s a true story of searching for fulfillment in new places, only to realize that home and contentment were always within.

        The view of the sea. There it is. It’s right there outside the window. If I lean a little to the left. 

        I can see it from my bedroom window. If I drove, I could be there in 10 minutes. Toes in the sand. The wind all around me. Freezing cold but beautiful. Home.

        From the room next to mine, I hear the sleepy infant lullaby as my newborn son sleeps soundly in his bed. Downstairs, my partner sits, legs crossed on the sofa watching an early evening comedy. Inoffensive and comforting, like a lot of UK sitcoms. The canned laughter provides a comforting background noise. 

        The year is 2012. I am 30 years old. And I have everything I need.

        Except I didn’t. Because we humans don’t work that way.

        Even with this warm home, stability, and an albeit strained view of the sea, I still felt the overwhelming urge to seek change. 

        Why? 

        I didn’t want to overhaul life entirely—there were just a few pieces of the puzzle that weren’t aligned. 

        Career, and my professional identity in general, have always been important to me. I needed a sense of progression and appreciation that, at the time, I just wasn’t getting. And it mattered to me. It really did.

        Related Posts:

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        More honest essays on learning to love your alone time?

        Yes, please. Sign up for A Merry Loner’s newsletter to get the latest in your inbox.

        Chasing Change: Making the Decision to Leave

        Four years of working with the same employer had finally brought me to a job interview. I’d worked hard to position myself as the frontrunner and had been led to believe the job was as good as mine. 

        In my mind, getting that promotion would be the final piece in the puzzle. At 30 years of age, I would have completed life and all its goals. 

        Then came the phone call saying they were going with another candidate. 

        I wasn’t prepared, and I took it hard. So hard, in fact, that I felt ready to give up on not just that employer but on the safe, warm house and life my partner and I had known for the last four years. 

        Watching me go through the emotional rollercoaster, my partner felt my frustration, and she was unsettled in her own way. 

        So we agreed: We were ready to leave the area altogether and start afresh.

        A New Start, or Just a New Struggle? 

        A new place, a new job, a new start.

        I got myself a promotion with a new employer hoping it would be a step in the right direction. But in my frustration, I hadn’t factored in the trade-off it required.

        My commute time doubled, and the time with my family halved. The colleagues and friends I’d worked with had vanished, replaced with strangers. The sea view was gone. No matter which way I leaned or squinted when I looked out the window.

        On only the second day of my new job, I found myself stuck in a traffic jam—and that’s when it hit me. 

        “What have I done?” I asked the empty car aloud. My throat tightened and I tried to hide my face from the other passengers in their static cars around me. I began to cry. 

        I drove home to my family and told my partner what I was thinking. We sat down, talked, and cried some more. “Isn’t this all supposed to be sorted by now? I’m 30!” I thought.

        It doesn’t work like that.

        My partner asked me if I knew the song The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. She knew that the lyrics suited our situation perfectly. Honestly, I didn’t know the song until she sang the chorus:

        “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.”

        Right then and there, we knew this new situation wasn’t right for us. 

        It was time to fold. Time to walk away. 

        The fresh start had been a false start—it was time to move again.

        Loneliness in the Crowd: Feeling Isolated in a City Full of People

        We decided to move from South Wales, my place of birth and spiritual home, to Nottingham, in the UK’s East Midlands. It’s not as if we’d moved continents or even countries (if you don’t count the difference between Wales and England), but it was enough to create that feeling of physical and emotional distance from the life we were leaving behind. 

        It was a new place and a new start.

        Here I go again: another new job; another new team; another new place to try and settle down. 

        But this was harder than any other move before. The sense of individual isolation and loneliness hit almost instantly. 

        I’d moved to the biggest place with the biggest population I’d personally ever lived in—and yet I felt totally alone. 

        When “Home” Feels Like Nowhere: Dealing with Loneliness in My 30s

        At 31 years old, I’d pictured myself being further along in my career, having a full social life, and excelling at new hobbies. I’d built up this narrative in my mind that this was my “prime” and that I was wasting it by moving to a new place “at the worst possible time.” In those moments, I saw it as a waste of my best years, squandered in isolation. 

        I tried to listen to sayings like: “Home is where the heart is”; “Home is a feeling, not a place”; “Home is the people around you.”

        But when you feel utterly alone, those sayings really don’t carry much weight. They’re perfect for embroidering on a cushion—but do nothing to help the feeling of a rock in your stomach.

        I made new friends, sure. But some moved away to pursue their own directions in life. Some drifted, as people occasionally and inevitably do. Some offered friendship and then disappeared. It was embarrassing and stung at the time, but I was even stood up by some new “friends.”

        All lessons in resilience. Gifts for personal growth.

        The Moment Everything Changed—and I Stopped Resisting Solitude 

        Things were getting harder. 

        The novelty of moving to a new city had worn off, and I felt like I’d tried everything to adjust, adapt, and settle. Nothing had worked and a feeling of hopelessness began to set in.

        But then one day came the biggest lesson from the smallest moment. 

        Out of habit, I finished work as quickly as I could to return home to make plans. I walked through the door, took off my shoes and jacket—and then found myself just standing still in the hallway. Staring at the empty house around me. The plain white walls staring back.

        I realized I actually had nothing to do, no one to see, and nothing to look forward to. 

        I have no idea how long I stood there, but it was long enough to realize I’d become lost in that space. Physically and mentally. 

        Long enough for that moment to become imprinted in my memory forever. An awareness growing in and around me.

        I realized that nothing would change unless I decided to become active with my choices. So, the first choice I made was to accept my loneliness. 

        The Art of Being Alone: Rediscovering Myself Through Solitude

        By accepting where I was and the situation I was in, I began to make positive changes. 

        I hadn’t realized before how much I’d sought the company and approval of others to give value to my days. Even though I’d always been happy in my own company as a child, I’d forgotten this through my teenage years when I started going out and expanding my circle of friends (a very normal thing for most teenagers to do). But this new period of loneliness in Nottingham brought me back to that quiet, self-assured place. 

        I hadn’t realized before how much I’d sought the company and approval of others to give value to my days.

        I rediscovered playfulness and curiosity. I began to read again. I began what would become a lifelong relationship with meditation. I became more patient, calm, and self-aware.

        Aspects of myself that normally became closed off when I sought the company of others began to bloom.

        I didn’t become a recluse, but I gravitated towards social activities that had an element of solo-ness. Martial arts has a great community, but when all’s said and done, it’s just me with me. Rock climbing, too. The climbing community is a wonderful place to be, and it’s where I’ve made my new and very dear circle of friends—but it’s also an activity that suits going alone when the time feels right. 

        I felt the effects of my new perspective on solitude at home, too. I’ve always been family-oriented, but this new phase nurtured an even greater warmth and closeness with my wife and son. Not quite “us against the world,” but not far off.

        Want to learn how to accept (and appreciate) your own loneliness?

        A Merry Loner’s 7-Day Do Things Alone Challenge can help you get there.

        • Daily bite-sized challenges to help you experiment with doing things alone
        • A judgment-free zone to share all your feels about how the day’s activity went
        • 7 journal prompts to help you process and learn from what you did that day

        Finding Home Within

        I’ve been in Nottingham for 10 years now. The journey has been life-changing—or should I say, me-changing.

        Living in a busy city felt lonely, so I looked for people. That search actually led me inward, and that’s what changed things for the better, outside too. I learned who I really was.

        As I write today, Nottingham feels more like a home. A place where I’ve found a life of balance. I’m more outgoing and brave than I’ve ever been—and equally more content in my own company than ever before.

        All my thoughts about wasting my life in its prime—absolute nonsense. 

        Your prime is when you say it is. Your prime is today, and it’s tomorrow. Your prime is when you feel most alive.

        The philosopher Soren Kierkegaard once said, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

        So be it.

        My new home is hours from the coastline in any direction. There’s no sea view from the bedroom window anymore. But the view inwards is the best it’s ever been.

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        Gavin Williams is a freelance health & wellness writer with a 20-year background as a specialist physiotherapist. He’s passionate about functional health & personal growth. Gavin’s happiest when he’s rock climbing, reading a book, or spending time with his family. You can find out more about Gavin on his website, In the Moment Copywriting.